Fatigue help
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Topic: Fatigue help
Posted By: FionaS
Subject: Fatigue help
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 3:12pm
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How do you deal with longterm fatigue?
DH and I are so exhausted. Elle has been waking and playing loudly for hours at night for almost 8 months now. DH was doing ok but Elle is now SOO loud that he is also awake half the night. She now shreaks at the top of her lungs then giggles at the echo and so it goes on...and on. She is really, really loud so sleeping through it is not possible. Last week she was awake for 5 hours straight 3 nights out of 7 and the other 4 night was awake for a min of 1 hour a couple of times a night. Both of us are struggling at work, constantly fighting off colds and are just getting so fatigued that is hard to enjoy life in general. We used to be very fit and healthy people. I was so tired on Sat I almost crashing the car 3 times and ended up in tears and with a migraine. We've exhausted all possible options in getting her to sleep so until we can buy a bigger house we have to learn to deal with the exhaustion. Any tips? Elle is fantastic during the day now so no issues there...the only issue we have is severe lack of sleep. In the past 2 years I have only had 3 nights where I have slept 6 hours straight. The rest of the time I average about 4 hours sleep. I seriously wonder how much longer I can keep going like this. DH and I desperate! Any tips? ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 3:27pm
| Go to the docs and get sleeping pills is all I can really think of. We get some on script and we use them we when are getting really tired and need to catch up on sleep. We only take half of a pill but just getting a solid nights sleep really does help. We just don't use them all the time so we don't become reliant on them |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 3:31pm
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I have some that I use about once a week and they help me go straight to sleep but always wake 3 hours later and don't sleep any better the rest of the night. If I take one, and Elle wakes 1 hour later (for example), I still wake too and the pill has no effect from there. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 3:39pm
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no help from me really...I am still fighting glandular fever....extreme fatigue here....and all i can suggest is time out and rest....does wonders...but very hard to do with working fulltime and a baby!!!!
send her to inlaws for a night? weekend maybe?? get a nanny in a few nights a week....I know SB had one when she first had Jack maybe ask her who they used? Nanny can get up to her then and let you sleep. lock her in a cupboard...oops sorry no that is what happens in albany.... 
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 3:41pm
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Hi Bombshell - haven't seen you around much.
She doesn't need to get up, just plays happily on her own. If you get her up she gets upset, if you leave her she is happy as larry. LOL at the cupboard. I was tempted to put her in the car one night! Well, sleep in the car myself that is!  ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: popcorn
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 3:45pm
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Have you tried the natural sleeping pills? i cant remember what they are called but its a blackmores one, i was recommended them awhile back and they worked a treat. much better than normal sleeping pills ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 3:49pm
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Yeap Simone...tried loads of different ones (I had insomnia before Elle did...I just overcame mine when hers started. Ironic eh).
It'd have to be something very very strong to knock us out enough to not hear her racket. I got some silcone earplugs on Sat and they are better...don't hurt my ears quite as much but still wake me frequently as my ears ache with them in. We can't both wear them though as we have to be able to hear if something is wrong. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 3:53pm
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Have you got the blue pills on the script?? Coz they rock. I would also get a blood test to see if you have cronic fatigue as well. I have that and getting the diagonis was great. From there my GP and me worked out a plan of attack. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 3:54pm
yeah but at least if she is somewhere else you wont hear her and youll get a good nights sleep....
fatigue is NOT nice....ive been fighting it off for three months now.... |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 3:55pm
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I just need Elle to sleep really Becks. I don't think I have chronic fatigue yet...just sleep deprivation. It may come though if I don't get some good sleep soon. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: popcorn
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 3:55pm
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thats the trouble I guess, you kind of need to be awake to make sure she is safe etc. is she still in a cot or a big bed? If she was in a big bed would she get out?
i guess then eating loads of fresh veges, fruit will help and i have found drinking fresh juice in the morning helps me especially if i put ginger in ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 3:56pm
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Would massage help?? (but I think I remeber you saying she doesn't like to be touched) so maybe it won't. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Bel
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 4:01pm
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So do you want tips on how to make Elle sleep, or how to ovecome the sleep depravation you guys are suffering from? I would recommend a night away (parents. friends etc) for you guys (different nights) so that you could get at least one good nights sleep. I think that sleep experts reckon that if you can get 2 good nights, it will catch you up no matter how sleep deprived you are. Might be easier to deal with life if you guys are feeling happier. Not too sure about what you can do with Elle - from what I have read you have had alot of suggestions, I don't think I can offer anything different. ------------- Mum to two beautiful kids 
Luke (09.11.2007) Amy (01.04.2009) |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 4:08pm
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She is good with touch now Becks so we are doing some leg/ foot massages now. She is totally, 100% normal and fine other than the sleep!
Tips for us I guess Bel as we've exhausted options for her. Just have to wait until she is old enough to be expected to comply with our instructions that she stay quiet at night. At the mo when we put her down for the night she says "shh, quiet, no talking" and in the morning says "good girl quiet" even though she wasn't! If we ask to stay quiet she does for about 3 mins then starts up again. Rascal. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 4:14pm
| Could you take the sleeping pill and wear ear plugs as well one night and get DH to do it the next night and just take turns? that way someone is "with it" to get up if something is wrong and you both get some decent sleep |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 4:18pm
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Ive been living on 3 to 6 broken hours sleep for more than 3 years due to my non sleepers. You do get used to it.
That said, though I have a few wee strategies for surviving. At the weekends, we each take a turn at going back to bed for a few hours for a sleep in while the other shuts off the lounge doors and keeps kids as quiet as poss. I snatch cat naps where I can, 10 or 20 mins in the afternoon is a godsend. If I am feeling really bad, I go to bed earlt yo get a few extra hours. Mum started taking Jacob when he was just over 2 for the night, that helps, and on saturday she took both of them (YAY!). Rod often takes Jake out on a sunday for a few hours when missy is in bed and I can put my feet up and have a read or even a sleep if I can. Beleive me, i just take rest where I can get it, and if anyone offers to have them for a bit I jump at the chance. I also take berrocca when I am feeling really bad, but mainly I have just gotten used to it, and everyone puts up with me beign freal some days, lol. Oh, and I don't drive if I am feeling too tired. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 5:26pm
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I'm also one with 2 terrible sleepers so all i can really suggest is having turns going out and staying somewhere else once a week so you at least get one good nights sleep. Also have a morning each to sleep in and get a few extra hours that way.
One good thing about having no sleep is that when you finally get even 6 hours unbroken sleep you feel amazing. |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 7:34pm
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Can you move your two bedrooms apart somehow? Like, try sleeping in the lounge for example, or the spare room (if you have one?) to create some space to reduce her noise? ------------- |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 8:05pm
We have a 3 bedroom house but can hear her clear as day in every room, incl the lounge at the other end of the hallway. We plan to move to a bigger house once our current one sells. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
busymum wrote:Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 9:58pm
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I am curious as to what you can do for Elle? Cutting down on her day sleep? Going in and putting her back to bed? I mean it really sounds like she is either definitely not tired or looking for something. Do you think she might be hungry or thirsty? Cold? Does she have a light or a heater in her room? She is getting right up close to that 2yr mark and should have some understanding of "Elle, you need to sleep".
Olivia is bottle and book to settle and at about 10pm I usually go in and resettle her with an over night bottle of water (she wakes up thirsty often) and flick on her heater if I feel she is not going to stay warm. I would also suggest removing any toys that she has in her room as that would limit entertainment. Olivia is the same, will quite happily play by herself but I would draw the line at her getting up in the night to toy test, that is OTT! ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 1:32pm
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Hi Peace. We've tried everything. Less sleep = more night wakings. Her ngiht sleep is not directly related to her daysleep but we tend to get longer times awake if she does a 1 hour nap compared to a 2 or 3 hour nap.
I've offered her drink / milk and she wasn't interested. If you get her up, she gets upset...she just wants to play on her own. She will accept a cuddle but then goes back to being noisey when you leave the room. She has 1 toy in her bed that is her sleep cue and she has had it there since she was 3 months old. her room is pitch black so she can't see anything else really. She is in a go-go bag and we use a small heater on cold nights. She always seems nice and warm. We don't get her up, and don't go in (we tried going in but found she would be awake longer on those ngihts). If we go in and tell her to be quiet she seems to end up awake for 5 or 6 hours straight instead of her usual 1 to 3 hours. She just plays 100% happily on her own. She obviously has a wild imagination and talks and giggles away. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 2:05pm
i take you have done the obvious and shut the doors?!  ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 2:08pm
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ROFL Bizzy yes! ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Phat_Cat
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 2:16pm
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man all i can say is poor you!! i so couldnt cope without my shut-eye! I hope you can find a solution soon or that its a stage that finishes soon ------------- Tristen - 24/06/07 Rylan - 11/12/08 Angel Babies -14/08/05 & 21/01/2010 Curtis - 26/02/12 |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 2:20pm
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Me too! It's been going on since January! ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 2:34pm
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A good night sleep is obviously in order. Is there any way you could get your Mum or someone to babysit for a night so you can get one good nights sleep? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 2:36pm
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Yes they are willing to and have twice which is great but I don't like her being away overnight and we'd need to do it at least once a week in order to stay on top of the sleep deprivation. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 3:00pm
Jake goes to mum about once a week, sometimes its only once a fortnight, but thats ok as well. I take what I can get. I hated him being away over night as well, but my need for sleep wins out in the end! Can't wait for them both to go again, lol, even though it was rally hard seeing lil missy go... (and man did my boobs ever leak and hurt... )------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 3:12pm
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So does anyone think she is old enough to be expected to understand that she has to be quiet? Shall we be persistent with that or just leave her to it (as the sleep specialist and plunket recommend) ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 3:41pm
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I would be expecting her to be quiet personally. Night time is for sleeping, well thats my opinion. And I don't think she is too young.
She is obviousy a bit of a night owl who needs very little sleep! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 3:41pm
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I'm probably going to get handbagged for this, but I've been lurking in this thread and reading peoples suggestions and then your replies.
For each suggestion there seems to be an excuse made for Elles behaviour and/or yours and DH's response to her behaviour. I think it's time that you got hard arsed with Elle, she needs to learn that bedtime is sleeptime and not play time. I don't believe that this behaviour is normal, nor do I believe that the solution is to leave her to it. I understand from your responses that she gets upset and unsettled when you try to intervene. Tough, she needs to know that playing in the middle of the night isn't acceptable behaviour. I'll admit that I don't have the answers to what the "right" thing to do with her is. I just know that a child her age should be sleeping not playing in the middle of the night keeping her parents awake and leaving them sleep deprived. Maybe she does have some kind of sleep disorder, and that should be looked into. Some of the girls have some really good suggestions and I think it's time to try them out on her. Yes it will cause upset but I think it's all about consistency. JMHO. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Peace
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 3:53pm
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I agree with you Mel, as I said in my previous post that I draw the line at Olivia playing in the middle of the night. Sleep time is for sleep and you do seem to be hiding behind excuses. Definitely go talk to someone who has an idea about sleeping in young children as you are looking for answers and obviously not hearing the ones you want. ------------- DD1 May 2006 DD2 March 2011 DD3 August 2012 |
Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 5:28pm
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I remember when Alex was the same age and wouldn't go down for his night sleep. His bedtime has always been 7pm but we went through a stage where he just didn't want to go to bed. DH and I had turns each night which basically consisted of putting him back in his sleeping position and blankets on him. No eye contact, no talking. It did take a while, very stressful but we got there. Now he is a great sleeper. Good luck and I so hope you get some decent sleep. I find everything is 10 times harder when you are tied. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Alex 6 and Harry 8 |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 5:40pm
Why can't you and DH have turns of having one night away each week rather than her if you don't want her away. |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 8:12pm
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The thing is Mel that we've quite honestly tried everything that has been suggested hence why I was asking for suggestions for dealing with the fatigue. We went in everytime consistently for 2 weeks and all it did was increase the night waking. DH was very strict during those 2 weeks.
We paid $185 to see NZ's leading sleep consultant who is also on a Paediatric Board and he said that going in will worsen the issue so we have to wait for her to out-grow it. He also consulted with the others on the paediatric board and their answer was the same. We were told to start a star chart and give her lots of praise etc on the nights she is quiet which we will do...if and when we get those nights! ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 9:08pm
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Oh and no handbags Mel
I forgot to add...she doesn't get upset when we go in unless we try to take her out of her cot. She wants to be in bed at night. She will go quiet when told off but start up again a couple of minutes later and, it would seem, end up more awake and stay awake longer. I am finding the new silicone ear plugs much better so once I get used to them I will probably get much more sleep. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 9:44pm
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This is not a normal suggestino for me as I'm very anti-drugs, but how about running it past your dr as to whether something like fenegan to help Elle sleep for a couple of nights to see if it breaks her habbit of waking and playing, isn't it 3 days to break a habbit???
And as for dealing with lack of sleep all I can offer is sympathies and hope you sort it soon as I know I can't cope without it ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08) 
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 9:46pm
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2bmumof3 I hate to say this in case I get handbagged too but we've tried that. Phenergan did nothing (it didn't make her worse but didn't make her sleep either and she was given 7 mLs!!!!!!!!) and they flattly refuse to prescribe anything else as she is too young. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 9:48pm
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i suppose you have a choice here tho - to either change her behaviour or cope with the sleeplessness...
i'm sure i mentioned to you previously that pauls siblings used to do the rocking singing in the middle of the night thing, so i disagree that her behaviour is unusual. if you wanted to not hear her you could try sound proofing her room...or yours if you want to explore and change the behaviour perhaps you could sleep in her room for a bit and see if you can tell what is waking her and lull her back to sleep before the "partying" begins and maybe change the habit... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 9:52pm
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She no longer rocks thankfully. Just lies there and talks (or sits up).
The sleep guy said ALL infants are awake for long periods at night (according to research done with cameras in their rooms) but most are quiet so parents don't realise. I'm not sure how else to try to change the behaviour as all the specialists say to leave her. Hmmm. Good ideas for consideration though thanks Bizzy. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 24 July 2008 at 8:51am
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does she ever sleep thorugh at all? just wonder and going back to ages ago when you asked about this too....if you totally wear her out does she sleep?
She clearly needs stimulation but maybe shes not getting enough during the day so that she is continuing at night? Her night time behaviour is unusual and has been for months...have they ever looked at how you guys started out with her and her patterns as a baby - I was reading an american mag about a similar situation and they discovered the patterns set at birth came out in the toddler and they hadnt thought of that before....thougth of you when i was reading it.... otherwise i say phergan YOU, take sleeping pills or book into a motel...
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 24 July 2008 at 9:36am
You are so right about all babies waking up at night and parents not being aware of it. And you do get some toddlers that still have bad sleeping patterns. I really do think she is doing great. She is still staying in bed, she is not trying to actually get you to get up to do stuff for her or to cuddle or to even get her water ect. I would also be hesitant to go in as I feel you will be feeding into the habit and she will actually get some attention from it. (if you know what I mean.) McKayla only use to go to bed at like 10 and wake up at 5 since she was a newborn and it is only lately that she is going down at 8 for me and sleeping through to 6 so I think it is totally normal. What I think the problem is, is you actually getting woken up by all of this and disinterupting your sleep. The one thing I might suggest is mozart for minors. You get the sleepy one that actually help them get to that deepsleep. If it is more or less the same time every night how about using the cd (pm me) and seeing if it makes any difference. I used it on McKayla and it would put her back to sleep at night (when we moved over here, but then again I used it on her since she was in my tummy). Otherwise you can just work on getting you some more deep sleep. Hope the earplugs can do the job for you, otherwise you are going to try and "soundproof" her room a bit more. Take turns over weekends to have a bit of a lie down in the afternoon. Wont fix everything but you can catch up on some sleep. Also try and go to bed a bit earlier. Even if it has to be you one night and then DH one night. Until the house is sold I really dont know what else to suggest. But Pm me about that cd. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 24 July 2008 at 10:11am
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OMG! I keep hitting the wrong key and I lose my loooooooong reply.
I'm not going to type it out in full again. Short and long is that Mel - I tried your advice. I stood in the corner of her room and told her off everytime she spoke. I ended up standing there for over 5 hours and telling her to be quiet close to 100 times. She then woke at 7 saying "good girl, quiet in night". So yeah, she doesn't get it. Now I have been awake all night...no sleep whatsoever since 7am yesterday. ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |