next one?!? (rant)
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19351
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Topic: next one?!? (rant)
Posted By: khhast
Subject: next one?!? (rant)
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 8:29pm
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I'm currently 34 weeks preg with my first child, and this pregnancy has been hell on my body and me (and therefore my DH too).
Background, skip to the point below if you want:  I have a pre-existing joint condition which makes my joints more flexible than normal and as my body tries to cope with flexi-joints I get quite a lot of pain, lasting days if not weeks from one time overdoing something. Pregnancy hormones to help relax joints and ligaments have just made this worse, and together they've caused SPD which just means more agony. On top of the pain I've been battling with my reoccuring depression/anxiety problems, and unstable preggy hormones don't help at all.
So why when I talk to people about things to do with baby do they keep talking about "next time" and the "next one"??!  I know they mean well, trying to make sure I keep in mind that things might need to be usable for more than one kid, but we keep saying "we're not in a hurry" and "one's plenty right now" (she's not even born yet!), and right now DH and I are seriously considering doing something permanent to stop me getting preg again cos it's just not enjoyable for either of us. I never wanted to have an only child, but neither of us want to go through this again. People say "yeah, but you forget as soon as the baby's born", and I'm sooo looking forward to that, but I don't want to forget so much that I suddenly get keen to do this all again (as much as I want more than one child!) cos it's been so hard on both of us. 
Thanks for "listening", just needed to get it off my chest. Any ideas for how to shut people up when they get onto this sort of thing? |
Replies:
Posted By: M.i.s.s.y
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 8:35pm
 Big Hugs Hun
Not really sure wot u can do 2 shut them up. Just try & ignor them i guess (hard ino) All the best xo -------------    
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Posted By: cat007
Date Posted: 21 July 2008 at 8:52pm
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Definately ignore them - people can be so insensitive. Remember - only you and your DH know what is best for you both. Please feel free to rant or complain to us - this is the perfect place for it!
Take care. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  [/url http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 6:54pm
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Unless you can think of some smart-arse answer to throw back in their face? -------------  |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 7:03pm
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Don't hate me, but you really DO forget lol - I spent 9 mths throwing up and feeling like utter crap, and for some crazy reason still went back and did it again twice more!
But as for people talking about the "next one", I had a doctor say to me when the gremlins were 3 mths old and screaming with reflux "oh you'll be wanting a boy next time then?" I nearly hit her! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 7:40pm
Emma - I got that kind of comment a few times over when I had just delivered Kryssi. I was like, hang on!!! I don't wanna even think about sex yet!!!!  and they were all trying to give me a "recipe for a boy" LOL------------- |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 7:52pm
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I know! Here I was struggling with refluxy twins and she just assumed I wanted another baby, Hello, no! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: khhast
Date Posted: 22 July 2008 at 9:24pm
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Lol, thanks ladies, it's good to feel supported and to know that other people have experienced the same thing.
If you come up with any good responses let me know
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Posted By: mrshouse
Date Posted: 28 July 2008 at 9:01am
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khast i dont have any good responses but i know the frustration......i had hyperemisis during my first and family and ppl would keep saying "when you see your little baby you wont want her to be alone in this world" and "next time".....but close family who knew what id gone thru pretty much believed we wouldnt be in a rush to do it again........and i was like you...i knew i wanted atleast one more but during pregnancy it was "this is it for a very long time".........and i hate to say it but i agree with maya....as time goes by you really do forget the troubles of pregnancy...so here i am again...21weeks pregnant..... when ppl say "next time" now.....i just think to myself...."yeah we'l see"
------------- http://www.baby-gaga.com/"> 
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