Do you let your baby cry?
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19498
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Topic: Do you let your baby cry?
Posted By: Maya
Subject: Do you let your baby cry?
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 8:40pm
I don't want to  I had no issues with letting the gremlins cry, mainly coz I had no choice, I could only deal with one at a time so the other just had to wait.
But when Chiara cries I just want to pick her up! She doesn't really cry, she just squawks, the longest she has ever screamed continuously for is one minute, but it makes me want to go and get her and cuddle her. She had a feed at 4pm and was due to feed at 7pm but woke at 6pm and squawked on and off so I got her up and fed her etc. then put her back down and she's due to feed again at 9pm. At 8pm she woke and squawked, and she's been squawking on and off since then, a minute or two of intermittent squawking then 5-10 mins of quiet, then more squawking. I want to get her up, but I know I should leave her till her feed is due otherwise we'll get stuck in a two hour feeding pattern and she'll do what she did when she got up at 6pm - fuss at the breast coz she's not really hungry, then wake early coz she's hungry coz she didn't have a proper feed. It just feels so wrong letting her cry! And such a different feeling to how I felt when the gremlins cried, with them I thought they should just get on with it and learn to self settle, with her I just want to cuddle her all the time. Random ramble, sorry 
But do you let your baby cry? -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Replies:
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 8:52pm
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Yep and he is crying at the moment. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 8:57pm
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I dont .. DH does ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 8:59pm
| At that age I let him cry once and couldnt do it again. I just wanted to cuddle him all the time. I think I let him cry for a minute and that was all i could really handle. |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:00pm
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Not when he was little.....a little now though! Actually I am a big softie and I will only let him "complain cry" if he is really upset I alwyas go to him and give him a cuddle.
When he was a newborn I figured it was such little time out of my life to comfort a wee guy who didnt know any better than what felt good and what didnt...and he wanted his mummy. I now have a pretty independent little fella who happily settled into daycare (couldnt care less whether mummy is there or not) and who mostly goes off to sleep without a hassle....unless he is exerting his nearly-a-toddler-ness. |
Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:05pm
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Yeah. And I hate it too! K has just reached that adorable cute stage of smiling all the time and cooing and gurgling and I just want to spend all day with her in my arms. But where I would have done that with Miss I, it's not possible now with two. No comparison to you looking after 4, but you know what I mean - sometimes you just have to let them go for it because you have to do things with/for the other one.
Although, I'm not organised enough to do routine feeding and just let K feed whenever she wants. Not a great habit I guess, but I love my cuddle feeding times with her! Have to admit, K is pretty laid back and doesn't cry much at all. I didn't know such babies existed - she doesn't let rip unless she's really at the end of her tether (or angry at stupid doctors for waking her up again). ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:06pm
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No, way too much of a softie here!! I think I have left her to cry once or twice and it broke my heart!
I agree with nzpiper, its such a short time out of my life to comfort them and give in to what they want! JMHO! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:08pm
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Should add, we let DD1 cry now that she's older, if we know she's just mucking around.
And I reckon if you want to pick her up and cuddle her then do it - it's not long before they're running away and wriggling and won't let you do that! I honestly don't think it's a bad thing. ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: monster
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:17pm
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No. It just doesn't sit right with me. -------------   
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:39pm
no with james i just couldnt do it i felt arfull so go ahead give your babies cuddles ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:41pm
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I've got softer with each child, DS1 I did let cry (but man I'm sure he cried ALL the time anyway) DS2 I didn't so much but with DD I really don't at all unless I simply can't get to her. I feed her completely on demand be that 2 or 4 hourly during the day and she sleeps through the night now so we're happy without structured feeds.\
Just remember that they're used to being in your tummy with no needs left untended to 24/7 so even if your only holding her half that then that's a huge comprimise on her behalf. But if it's the feeds your worried about then maybe a dummy to tie her over till next one???? ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08) 
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Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 9:55pm
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I'm too much of a softie and couldn't let Jimmy cry for very long at that age. We started using a dummy at 4 weeks old, as he ended up being bottle fed and I think he just wanted to suck - not necessarily eat. We had many issues teaching Jimmy to settle and sleep, and I ended up reading the Baby Whisperer books by Tracy Hogg. She suggests cluster feeding in the late afternoon/early evening (ie every 2 hrs or so) to tank them up for the night ahead - perhaps that's what Chiara's asking for? Did you have a really tiring day and perhaps your milk supply was lower this evening? Our lactation consultant suggested trying to eat the main meal at midday instead of evening, as it helps your body make more BM in the evenings - great in theory right |
. Hope you can get her to settle soon.Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 10:11pm
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Funny how everyone is different! And seem to do different things with different babies too, I know I did/do! I never let Maya cry, yet I let the gremlins scream. Mind you, it wasn't so much 'letting', as much as just putting up with it coz they screamed regardless of what I did.
Chiara ended up being quiet again til about 8.50pm and then she started up a bit more seriously so I got her up and fed her - what's ten minutes in the grand scheme of things? She had a good feed, a good awake time, was really smiley and happy and then I topped her up and put her over my shoulder for 15 mins to make sure she has no wind. I do wonder if she might have thrush tho and if that could be making her a bit grouchy? Coz I am reasonably sure I have it on my nipples
Kakapo - my older three all cluster fed, Maya breastfed at 4pm and 7pm with a one-side top up t 5.30pm and the gremlins had bottles at 4pm and 7pm with a half a bottle top up at 5.30pm so we tried that with Chiara but she got overtired and harder to settle, she seems to settle better with the whole up, feed, change, feed, down within one hour thing at this stage. I tried to stuff her as much as I could but she was kind of fussing at the breast by the end so she's gone back to bed. LOL Mazzy - I let the gremlins get on with it too, they are old enough that it's a learned behaviour, altho I wish they'd unlearn it! I'm not keen to try a dummy at this stage, I remember spending half my life getting up to put the gremlins ones back in before I gave up on them, but I will give the m/w a call tomorrow and see what her thoughts are on the thrush thing. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 10:40pm
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Wow Maya, sounds like you're doing really well with your routine ... that's something I wish I'd instigated from week 1, and will with #2 for sure. Glad to hear Chiara was much happier for her last feed. If you do have thrush chances are she does too as apparently it can be passed on via BM, even when expressed and fed via bottle (advice from lactation consultant, had received diff advice from my MW and when I phoned Healthline about it they didn't know the answer, so I tried to take a precautionary approach and believe the lactation consultant!). Ouch, not nice for either of you, and so hard to get rid of too I agree about using a dummy - at the time it seems like such a good idea, but months later you're left wondering if you'll ever have uninterrupted sleep ever again! |
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 26 July 2008 at 11:54pm
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Yep I do, but Matt doesnt. Its annoying. ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 7:20am
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I never let Gina cry - would pick her up at once and cuddle her. I hate having Emma crying but with her reflux & colic, she has been heaps more unsettled than Gina ever was - sometimes it doesn't matter what I do and she would still cry ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 8:08am
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DD only has a dummy in the evenings when she's bit grump. At 8.30pm she goes to bed awake and goes to sleep for the night without any complaints. She started to suck her hand so we thought it better to use a dummy which can be thrown away. ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08)
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Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 8:45am
When Hannah was Chiara's age I didn't like to let her cry. I figured she wasn't crying to be a PITA, she was scared/lonely/wet/hungry/sore, so whatever I could do to comfort her, I did 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 11:25am
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yeah was going to say too that crying/squawks may not just be cause she is hungry... she may be uncomfortable - too hot perhaps or windy or wet bum. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 12:09pm
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By the sounds of it with her squawking on and off and then quiet for 10-15mins isnt a real rying episode and she is probably testing you eg, squawk a bit them wait and listen to see if you come then if not try it again lol, babies are so intelligent even at this age. I never let any of my babies cry too much as this age and it was a big mistake then, they never learnt to self settle or be content to be awake and not held or at the boob. I say you are onto a winner with what you are doing and you know her and her feeding so well that you know what works and what doesnt. Fantastic job!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 12:54pm
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I'm pretty sure that's what she's up to Kels coz she doesn't get really wound up, it's just random squawks here and there.
I am so proud of her tho, after I put her back down after her 9pm feed she slept until 2.30am, her longest stretch ever! I nearly fell out of bed when I checked the time when I heard her wake! She did get up again after that at 4.30am but that was coz she had had a pretty major explosion and she settled again quickly after a change and a quick feed till 7.30am. She's been a bit squawky on and off this morning but is quiet again now and due a feed just after 1pm so pretty good. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 12:55pm
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Oh and just to really make my night, the gremlins also slept thru which meant I got a whole 4 hour block of uninterrupted sleep! ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 1:55pm
| I think you are doing so well Emma and without Willie too |
Posted By: happymumma
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 2:50pm
| We are trying to leave Ollie for three minutes - but only when I've put him in his bassinet for a sleep. I can't handle it at other times (he only has to stick out his bottom lip and I crumble). If his crying becomes just grizzles then I leave him a little longer but if it escalates I know he really needs something. I do just wish I could cuddle him forever though!! |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 3:34pm
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Did I miss something......where is Willie?? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
susieq wrote:Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 28 July 2008 at 10:44am
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OH dear..I am the same...would sit and cuddle Brennan all day if got the chance.....but also relaising I am going to have to get some kind of routine going with the other two is meaning that he is going to have to be left to sort himself out sometimes....bloomin hard!!!! -------------  
 
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Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 28 July 2008 at 10:45am
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I think I have got thrush on my Boobs...yuck! Brennan has had a dummy since day 2...(would neva have done with the other two) but he is A SUCKY BABY! -------------
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Posted By: lucky3rdtime
Date Posted: 28 July 2008 at 11:23am
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I think alot depends on the bubba.
I have always let Gabs cry, sometimes i don't like it, but if its just on and off sqwarking (which she does too) i don't pay any attention, its only when she really goes to town that I will go and see whats up, but she's never been much of a crier, only if there is something the matter, so she's made my job as a mum easier for me I think. All the best, congrats on your 4th baby, don't know how you cope with four, but sounds like you're doing a great job!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 28 July 2008 at 5:05pm
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Oh Emma, you're doing an amazing job!
...I might be frowned on for this, but yep, I let my newborn cry. I had to - if I wasn't willing to let her cry I literally could never get a shower in those first months I kept consulting with Plunket, Healthline, Midwife, Doc, about it, but she was just a screamer back then, my dear little Ella! There was no other way around it for me. It was tough and I don't have fond memories of that stage! That said, Ella is a brilliant sleeper now, and I credit some of that to us being so tough on her self-settling early on. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 28 July 2008 at 5:15pm
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yay for the big sleep Emma!! ------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4
 
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And congrats to Kelpa, I must have missed that one!Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 7:05pm
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I didn't (and still don't) let Caleb cry but with our circumstances I could sit and cuddle him and the household semi-functioned so not such a biggie. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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