Totally at my wits end ....AGAIN!!!!!!
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Topic: Totally at my wits end ....AGAIN!!!!!!
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Subject: Totally at my wits end ....AGAIN!!!!!!
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 7:24pm
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Okay so I typed this all out last night and decided not to post but now I NEED to vent my frustration!
Damn having a fussy eater - bain of my life! I'm so bloody over it. No one ever believes me because he is a big boy, doesn't look overly starved or anything. Right from the word go solids have been an issue, he didn't really start taking puree properly until 8 months old, 10 months we seemed to have it down to a fine art - he was still on pureed foods and finger foods and fine with three meals. But ever since day one it has been an uphill battle, we seem to be going round and round in circles, he still can't take anything 'chunky' or 'textured' ...infact he's gone off puree and anything given off a spoon completely! I'm not allowed to feed him at all now. So I chop/dice foods, give him a variety of foods every day, it is the MOST stressful task, it absolutely eats away at me - what am I doing wrong? I feel so inadequate. Heres a typical meal time for you:- Sit him in the high chair- sometimes that task alone ends up in tears! I will give him his food and next thing I know he's biffing it across the room or organizing it into piles, taking it out of the bowl and then putting it back in one by one, smearing it on his tray. Just getting him to take one bite is an accomplishment in itself. I've tried fruit (he has NEVER liked fruit), veges (he used to eat them with no hassles but not anymore), frozen potato specialties and vege patties, crackers, biscuits, meat in diff forms, cheese (only thing I can guarantee he will down), breads (another thing he will sometimes eat), pasta (he will sometimes give it a go, macaroni cheese is a fave)...you name it we've tried it. He drinks that V8 vegetable and fruit juice so I guess that is ONE good thing. I cringe just going to the supermarket because I know half the food that goes in the trolley won't be eaten, instead it will be played with or thrown immediately on the floor. I have tried talking to our Plunket nurse several times, and spoke to my Dr about it briefly at his 10 month jabs (so quite some time ago now). I never get taken seriously BECAUSE he is above 95th centile for his weight (which I put down to the breastfeeding because it's not like he is eating large amounts of food). I always get the 'Well he is a healthy wee chap and growing beautifully so theres no real cause for concern' So where to next? Maybe the loony bin for me perhaps? We will have the odd days where he might eat a bit, others he won't down anything but he breastfeeds fine. I'm only b/feeding him once before his nap and during the night. Even when i lesson b/feeds it doesn't make a diff, he's stubborn (like his mother yes!) and fussy as hell! Please tell me I'm not the only one UGH! |
Replies:
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 7:39pm
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What about trying him at a chair at the table to see if that helps??? ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 7:46pm
Have tried that with his little plastic table and chair, he just keeps standing up and walking away 
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Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 7:50pm
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Try not to stress too much Steph - easier said than done I know but he'll get there in the end. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 7:50pm
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My sisters nearly 2 year old doesn't eat, the only food she can get into him is liquid food via a bottle. He even freaked out when she had to get some different bottle tops that were a different colour and refused to use them for a while. He won't even touch food, and I mean he won't touch it with his hand let alone put it in his mouth. If offered food via spoon, finger etc then he clamps his mouth shut and turns his head. She has tried everything and has had practically no help off of her health visitor (she's in the UK) or her gp. Health visitor said to take his milk away and starve him till he finally gave in but she couldnt' bring herself to try that and the gp apparently said that under 2s are ok just on formula. Personally I wouldn't have taken that crap and would have demanded to see a paedatrician.
Her boy is also a good size which I think contributes to her not getting taken seriously, if he was failing to thrive then she would have gotten help for him by now. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: lovingmummyhood
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 7:52pm
 Steph. I don't have any suggestions sorry. That sounds so frustrating for you!! I don't think you need the looney bin.
What if you don't offer breast? Say its breakfast time - would he eat if he was hungry? Apologies if that's not helpful. Hope you find a solution or someone on here has some good ideas for you. Gorgeous photo as your avatar btw  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 7:54pm
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sorry this is not want you want to hear but we have always had this problem with Bailey and now 4 years later and still battling but i guess it is getting somewhat better
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Posted By: shaz
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 7:57pm
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ARRRGGGG. I'm feeling your pain as well. Alyssa wont eat veges or meat either and never has. She is the most fussy of all my kids. I don't think it's anything I have done....my other two eat.
Natasha was fussy but ate her veges and loved lamb & chicken so I never had to really worry about that side of things. But Alyssa is a whole different ball game I'd say she lives on porridge (Farax 9mth+ stuff mixed with formula) Banana's and rice sometimes. I'm getting truly frustrated that she wont even open her mouth to try stuff. She' wants to feed herself as well and will only taste things she is familiar with. I try and give her a bit of the dinner we are eating every night to see if she will eventually try it but no she sits there and either chucks it at us or screams. Don't even get me started on the way she will starve herself all day at DC!!! Sorry, I'm venting now too. I just wanted you to know you are not alone and this is coming from a Mum of two other kids that ate, so I'm really not sure why some kids are like this. Although it does help that I have a six year old nephew who lives on weetbix, bananas and rice as well so at least my sister can sympathise (and she has six kids, 5 of whom eat fine) ------------- Mum to Natasha Aroha 9/12/1995, Alexandra Makareta Waimarie 22/4/1998 and....Alyssa Frances Hopaea 18/03/2007 
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 8:04pm
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Would he eat something like porridge or weetbix with EBM? Jack likes to feed himself with the spoon, I scoop it on for him and he puts the spoon in his mouth, would this work? Or making the food together, maybe making it a 'fun' activity? Jack often likes it when I eat with him.
I feel for you. I know it is hard when you have a problem but no one seems to help you with the answer, or doesn't take you seriously. I hope you find some answers soon ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 8:07pm
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Thanks for your msgs guys, Shaz you actually came to mind as I was typing this as I remember Alyssa being fussy when I mentioned this a couple months back in our march thread! Isn't it so frustrating? I was sitting there typing this post in tears before and then I got into an argument with my friend on MSN
She out of nowhere says 'Well no offence but maybe you should have started him on solids sooner and then you wouldn't have these problems' Not to mention the not so nice reply I sent back, I started him at farking 5.5-6months, obviously her head is way up her backside and she hasn't really been taking in our conversations for the last 11 months, too busy bed hopping trying to find a father figure for her kid  Like she is one to offer good parenting advice pfft
So now I'm kind of fuming, so excuse me for not being in a good mood
I've tried lessening the breastfeeds as much as possible without taking them away completely, I don't want to go to the extent of 'starving' him in order to try and get more 'real' food into him. |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 8:12pm
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I've tried weetbix ...not to mention nearly every cereal on the market. Porridge, cheerios, cornflakes, rice bubbles, special K, muesli, nutrigrain was last weeks attempt ...oh and those weetbix crunch. He just wasn't interested!
I actually find it depends on his moods as well, I wonder if his teeth are giving him hell at the moment. I just wish Plunket would offer a bit more support. Other than the solids issues Lucas is a perfectly happy & healthy child, developing fine and what not, always laughing and getting into mischief. A real joy and such a character. It's just mealtimes that seem to be the problem
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 8:18pm
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maybe try some toast and cheese tomorrow for breakfast..??
oh and do you eat with him? and i have heard of poeple leaving food around the house, little snacks of fruit and stuff, and they found that the child would eat it then... the biggest thing tho is is trying hard not to let it get to you... ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: shaz
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 8:21pm
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Hugs Steph, I find it so frustrating that people judge others without really trying to understand. Sometimes you just need people to listen.
I had the hardest time with Tasha as a baby (she was just really hard work never slept/ chucked up all the time etc etc) and for some reason the rest of my coffee group had little angels. So unfair but my MIL helped by telling me I was doing a great job with an extremely trying baby and she would know she had five boys (that made me feel so much better). PS by the look of your smiley little man he couldn't be in better hands, he's just gorgeous. Your a great Mum all you have to do is believe it!!!!!!! ------------- Mum to Natasha Aroha 9/12/1995, Alexandra Makareta Waimarie 22/4/1998 and....Alyssa Frances Hopaea 18/03/2007
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Posted By: ellen
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 8:50pm
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Oh boy that brings back memories with my middle child. I remember becoming really stressed trying to get him to eat food. One day he'd try something and I'd think great we'll have that again. Next time he wouldn't touch it. We even ended up going to a pedeatrician (sp) when he was about two - he wasn't worried about him. I gave up worrying years ago and he's hardly ever sick. I do think I escalated his food block as he picked up on how stressed it made me.
Anyways - he's now 15 and lives on bread, cereal, apples, raw carrot and will eat sausages, schnitzel, KFC, pizza, pies (get the picture?). He drinks lots of milk and complan type drinks. Funny thing is he's planning on going to Vietnam next year on a school trip and that was my major concern as he's never touched a grain of rice in his life. I was assured they get "normal" breakfasts and for lunch can buy McDonalds so I guess he won't get the full cultural experience unless he gets game. I was just talking to a friend's daughter today who is now 24 and she used to be a shockingly fussy eater growing up. She now eats veges so I hope one day his taste buds will mature as well. No advice but lots of as I know how frustrating it is. You are doing a wonderful job as a mum and obviously have fantastic breast milk.
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Posted By: FionaS
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 9:13pm
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Hugs.
As you know Elle is also a fussypants eater. Admittedly she does eat a good breafast of weetbix, fruit and milk though. She has big texture issues so if it looks or feels slimey or unusual she won't even try it. I've started doing lots of little things to help her and it is starting to work. Here are some things I did/do: Firstly, remember it is your job to provide healthy food choices and his choice whether or not he eats them. Just serve up the good stuff every day and eventually he will eat some of it...it may take a long time though! Each morning I fill a tupperware lunch box (the one with lots of compartments) with various healthy snacks - some she like and some that are good for her/new etc.For example, I put in a sandwich, a rice wafer, rice crackers, dried fruit, pear slices and one biscuit. I bring out that same box everytime she is hungry. Once she has had lunch I leave it out on a low table and she picks from it throughout the day. It took a week or so and I found she started to try the other things in the box and as a result she now eats carrot sticks, dried apricots and dates as well as her other snacks. I put complan and/or milo in her formula once a day. I bake muffins made with iron enriched baby cereal and formula instead of milk (breastmilk would be fine too). I finely grate courgette and carrot into loads of things as you can't taste it and it is basically the only way I get veges in. This works especially well in an omlette which is Elle's fav. I've started sneaking shreaded chicken in there successfully now too! Elle has also varied her diet a bit since she has started to eat some meals with friends. It's amazing how much they like to copy other kids!! When I serve her dinner, I put some of what I am having (if it is shepards pie or something I blend it up with a little milk) + carrot sticks + peas + some bread or crackers. At first, she would just eat the bread then leave but after a few weeks she started trying the other things and will now eat carrot, red capsicum, rice and meat pureed with vege and milk. Since doing this, Elle has become more interested in food (some days) and actually ate a good dinner 3 times this week! If you are really concered, USANA do an excellent multi-vit that doctors recommend (the others from the chemist etc are not really worth the expense). You will get there :) ------------- Mummy to Gabrielle and Ashley |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 9:28pm
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what about eating with him ? would that be worth a try (thats if you dont already do it of course, and maybe just small portions?
Caitlyns a fussy eater too chick , i just found the best thing to do was give small portions and sit with her . And if she doesnt eat it, well too bad for her , she can have it later. As mel says , you choose your battles, if your getting stressed about meal times, he will pick up on it , and be even more of a rascal |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 9:30pm
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What food does he like ?
maybe you could write a list of ones he does like, that he will eat and start off serving him food along those lines, then with each meal introducing a new one |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 10:35pm
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Hey, no real advise other than to say I was a fussy eater and would only eat tomato, devon and cheese until 3 years of age!
My paed told my mum simply that when I was hungry I would eat, i wasnt suffering malnutrition so to be patient and wait. At 3 I started eating off mums plate and by the time I was 4 I was a full blown eater (a little too much). You cant argue with a toddler huh!  -------------   
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 27 July 2008 at 11:03pm
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Its nothing you're doing wrong, my sister has two kids and her eldest has eaten without any trouble at all, her youngest who is the fussy one started on purees fine then went through what she thought was just a stage of not wanting it which has just never ended.
I agree with leaving stuff around the house, sometimes Spencer won't eat his dinner but will quite happily munch on a leaf he finds on the floor -------------
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Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 28 July 2008 at 9:28am
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Okay havent read all the responses so might repeat. McKayla did go through a stage after a year that she did pretty much what your boy still did. She was fine however on breastmilk and will drink juices ect but will refuse to eat her food. Tried her in the feeding chair as well as a table. I once even told her straight out she will eat and forced a mouthful in. I felt totally horrible and just sat there and cried. I felt like I am the worst mom out there.
I think it was coupled with the thing that McKayla has no fat on her at all. She never was a chubby baby but really lean but at the same time she has muscles all over and everyone always comment on does the poor child not eat. I knew she was perfect but at the same time I freaked. I did go on another forum (SA one that I was on since before she was born) and everyone was so supportive and gave some good tips. Try and concentrate over the whole day. Some kids literally eat one bite and that is it. So give food more often. The one thing might actually be the breastfeeding. He might be liking it way too much and it is an easy way. Cant remember how old he is but from a year he should start eating more and drinking less. Now what that means is he might be eating actual less food than he did when he was a baby but he should start getting his calories more from food. If need be I will start restricting a bit of the breastmilk to get him to that point of being hungry and actually eating. Then is there a meal he really really likes? With McKayla it was noodles. She will always eat that. So for the first week I just gave that. But changed it every time. With veggies I pureed it and put it over and it will coat the noodles as a sauce. Ect. Same with everything else. Other thing is she started eating a bit better once she was on a multivitamin. Worth a try. Dont get too upset at mealtimes. These buggers sometimes uses it as a power struggle and that can only work if you play into their game. If all else fails go again to the dr or chemist and ask about pedisure. Loads of moms swore by this when their kids werent eating and using that once a day increased their kids appetites so that they would start eating. Another thing is that sometimes we dont think they are eating enough when in fact they are. If you do a search in the Toddler group there should be a website on how much your child should be eating. But a portion size was literally a spoonfull for every year of their age of every group. Not that much if you take it as that. But just double check on that. Hope you come right. (but I honestly feel most kids go through this between one and two, and if they dont it is between 2 and 3) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 28 July 2008 at 10:36am
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I got so fed up with food when Daniel turned one. He was the most horrible child ever to feed. My friend who works in a daycare said she had never seen such a horrible eater before. We always struggled with food from the beginning too. But now I have a champion eater.
One day I said to myself enough is enough and I force fed him. He was strapped in his high chair, if he didn't open his mouth I got my finger involved and opened it. If he spat it out, I put it back in and did that for like a week and now he eats anything really. Loves meat, loves veges, is pretty good with fruit. Loves finger foods and getting in the pantry looking for food lol. I felt like a right mean mummy but it worked for us. |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 28 July 2008 at 11:59am
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I haven't read all the responses either so sorry if this has already been said.
First he won't starve himself, so if you have offered him a variety of foods and he doesn't eat it then hes probably not hungry. You say hes quite big well then hes obviously getting enough somewhere so try not to stress (I know easier said than done). What I do in the mornings is make a lunch box for Jack and put it on his table and leave it there all day for him to snack on. Some days he only eats the fruit, some days only the cheese but as a whole he seems to eat pretty well. At dinner time he gets his dished up with the rest of us, if he doesn't eat it I offer him yoghurt or fruit, if he turns that down then he gets nothing else. A study was actually done on an orphanage in India or somewhere and they put a whole heap of different foods out at every meal and they actually discovered the kids would eat a perfectly balanced diet. Forcing kids to eat things they don't want to actually masks this natural ability and making them eat more than they want will make them unaware of when they are actually full. |
Posted By: LJsmum
Date Posted: 28 July 2008 at 8:47pm
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Luke had problems with solids he wouln't take them until around 8 months. i was extremely stressed about it. It became a war. i was not winning. I had a fanastic plunket nurse who said I have a choice ever fight or give up. So i gave up
( sort of!) meaning i offered food at every meal time home cooked, jar food, everything and if he didn't eat it ,so be his choice, not mine. I was offering it he chose not to take it. (He ws breastfed too, slf weaned at 15 months.) Then one day he ate and now he loves food. Funny thing is around this age they develop funny little habits Luke has to have tomato sauce with all his meals! It's so hard and you are doing so well. Everyone's given really good advice.
Luke is lean and doesn't have any fat on him he's just on 10kg so I worry a bit, but you've gotta put worry into perpective. As DH says he was a skinny boy too so it must be genetic! DH is fussy tooo!! Has to have tomato sauce with everything! sounds like Luke. -------------  
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