Its Daunting.....those with 2 or more...
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19600
Printed Date: 12 September 2025 at 9:28pm
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Topic: Its Daunting.....those with 2 or more...
Posted By: Kelpa
Subject: Its Daunting.....those with 2 or more...
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 4:35pm
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Okay....So I maybe hormonal and tired and rundown and whatever but the whole thought of having three kids is kind of freaking me out...........
Keep thinking I am not going to cope.....in any way whatsoever.......The whole negotiating the three of them and all their different needs and keeping DH and I honky dorey and doing all the bills and stuff...FREAKS me out...Not to mention the state I look like! Dont think I have put clothes on in a week..have showered etc!!! Dear me....Seems like now we have three its all become so much more busy and life hectic.............  -------------  
 
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Replies:
Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 4:36pm
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Nights out with hubby and stuff and maybe a holiday seem like a million years away..not to mention someone to look after them all if we did ever want to go out for dinner!
Arrrgghhh having a mare!  -------------
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Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 4:55pm
i totally hear you kel!! the only way i get there is routines, things "should" settle down for you once that happens... but i cant say its ever easy  its worth it though the love you get in return for yours.
somedays i literally do feel like pulling my hair out and screaming, im feeding toby, kayla is screaming for something, the big girls fighting or asking for something... need to be an octopus and have 8 arms 
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Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 4:58pm
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Do you ever have any regrets those that have 3 or more?????? -------------
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Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 5:06pm
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i said to hubby last night i wish it was only the 2 oldest girls, but i wouldnt change it, if that makes sense?!! lol. i cant imagine life without toby and kayla but life would be sooooooo much easier!!!
i only made that comment (and felt awful for saying it) because kayla has been very difficult for me since toby was born and toby is waking lots during night and grizzles lots and its been wearing me out mentally.... i dont get much support, other than my darling husband who is awesome- i feel pretty alone. |
Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 5:49pm
you dont regret the kids you have, you regret the ones you dont have  ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 5:50pm
uh huh!!! that thought has crossed my mind too. i didnt mind giving two to mum but three!!! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Kelpa wrote:Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 6:07pm
whats going out for dinner?!!! my plan is to have them all in bed early and get the babysitter to come when they are asleep! one day....
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 7:36pm
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You'll get the hang of it Kelly! I remember last Mon the huge feeling of satisfaction at getting all four kids plus stepdaughter out the door in time to get Maya to school then we even braved playgroup, I was so proud of myself!
Today hasn't been such a great day, my nanny has been sick for two days and before that it was the weekend so I've been stuck inside with two feral gremlins and a baby for four days and I didn't get out of my PJ's till 4.30pm but hey - some days are diamonds, some days are rough! I just try not to think about it too much or I'd get totally overwhelmed. We'll muddle thru somehow, as will you! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 8:09pm
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keep these posts coming ladies....this is what i need to read to make me not want #3 anymore
and i mean that in the nicest possible way!  ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 8:39pm
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I remember feeling the same kind of overwhelming feelings when Kryssi (my #3) was born (I tried to find the link but I can't ). Having three kids is a HUGE step from two. Somehow having two kids and two hands can work at times. But three kids just calls for a whole lot more brain power!
But, try to be easy on yourself. Quit or cut back on some of your activities for Mr2 if you need a bit more time at home. It's extremely tiring in the first two months with a baby and a toddler (and I think you have a school aged???) because they can be so demanding and yet have so little understanding. Also it's tough when baby sleeps all morning and is up all night, but Mr2 is the opposite. Have all the chocolate cake you need, get a friend over or to look after Mr2 when you can, don't be ashamed to sleep in the day and leave the dishes for the weekend!! Sometimes as mums we just need to give ourselves a break. *hugs* ------------- |
Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 8:54pm
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We hadn't planned #3 and when we found out I was gutted. Now I'm just soo glad we've got her, absolutely no regrets. By nature I'm a very organised person who has to do everything that needs doing right then and there. I've had to learn to just let things go, if the washings not folded and put away then it doesn't hurt to leave it etc. Learn to turn a blind eye, when I'm nursing DD and the boys are doing something they probably shouldn't be but are happy and safe then simply pretending not to see them saves me from not being able to follow through with time out etc (does that make sense).
But I've also had a really great #3, she sleeps really well, feeds well and hardly cries. Don't get me wrong there's times when all 3 are crying and I feel like crawling under a rock to hide....but it's outweighed by the good. Best of luck, just keep putting one foot in front fo the other  ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08) 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 29 July 2008 at 9:23pm
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Chiara is pretty cruisy (so far!) and mum reckons her #3 was her easiest baby, maybe they come into the world and just have to slot into family life so they don't get to be as demanding as firstborns?
My biggest problem atm is that the gremlins have learned very quickly that when I'm feeding I can't do anything else so they set about getting into mischief or fighting. This morning Mercedes had picked up one of Maya's felt pens and was drawing on her face and I kept saying "ta Mama, ta Mama" and she just looked at me with this totally evil grin like "go on, make me!" Then when she was finished drawing on her face she brought it over and gave it to me nice as pie. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 7:33am
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To be honest the one I've had the most problems with is my 3 1/2 yo as he needs more stimulating and attention to entertain him than my 2yo. But that's maybe more personality than anything else. T.he eldest boy is very helpful (well thinks he's very helpful) and interested in bubs but the younger one really just isn't interested, would rather be playing with his toys. I think there must be pros and cons to having them close or not. I like not having to be anywhere by a particular time, if they're late it really doesn't matter. But with a school age kids you have to be up and ready to drop them at school (but I guess you then don't have to worry about them for 6 hours) ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08)
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 8:49am
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that was my arguement to DH for having #3....jack would be in school by the time we had #3, so really i'd only have 2 at home most of the time anyway which would be a little easier.
and charli would be over 3 so would qualify for the 20hrs free daycare.... ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: my4beauties
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 9:58am
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I've found 3 children a lot harder. Yes I have 3 under 5, so that's never easy. But even with a bigger age gap, you still have 3 children - all with different needs - to care for.
I sometimes too think how easy it would be just to have R & G still. They're both at an easy-ish age, then you throw a baby into the mix.... But again, love having Jett in our lives.
Things get better, you get into a routine and somedays are hard but the next day is great! Just take each day as it comes. Of course this time now is hard, having a newborn waking through the night, your hormones going nuts, and your body recovering from birth. I remember that all too clearly. I wouldn't look too far in the future yet, as it makes you want to get their faster & you'll wish this time away, but it goes fast, and you'll look back in a few months & forget a lot of how Brennan was as a newborn, and they're sooo precious at this age.
And no, I don't regret Jett (he was a complete surprise though, totally unplanned). I know eventually we would've had another child, he just came along a lot sooner. And I agree with Catrad, you only regret the ones you don't have
Hang in there chick!!!!! ------------- My babies: R (9),G (7), J (5) http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Lol, cos our 3 kids are all so different looking to each other, I wonder if the 4th will be different again, or will actually resemble one of it's siblings. And no I wouldn't actually have another child just for that reason!Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 10:54am
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i have three under five here too and so far three doesnt seem any harder than two. It is my middle child who is the challenge, who wakes more in the night than the baby and who i have to worry about change of routine with...
some things, like who on earth wants to babysit three kidsand no i dont want to take all three of you into the dairy with me, will be harder but the everyday stuff doesnt seem to be... and i quite like that when i am feeding eden i am not able to do other stuff, its like a mini oasis from being a parent to the other two. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 12:42pm
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Awww big hugs!!!
Maybe would be a bit easier Jess, its more about the logistics of 3? Like with 2 its one each, with 3 its a squash in the car, sharing rooms, and even things like pick ups/drop offs to school/kindy etc, you kinda have to fit everyone in, like if Ella was at school and Max and kindy, and life just requires alot more planning ------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4
 
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Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 5:19pm
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Thanks guys..am going to sit down and re read this over and over in the next few weeks I am sure!!!
Was somewhat reassuring!!! XXX -------------
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 30 July 2008 at 5:26pm
I have three under two  I try not to think about it!
Jess - there's 3 1/2 years between Maya and the gremlins and it was a great age gap, she adjusted so well and was old enough to understand when I needed to feed them etc. Am finding the 20 mth age gap reaaaally challenging atm! Having Maya at school does help but it is also a PITA coz it means I have to get the little ones out the door to get her to school, and coz if they play up when I'm feeding Chiara she will often intervene and stop them killing each other but when she's at school I just have to leave them to it till I'm finished feeding. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 31 July 2008 at 9:35am
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Im thinking Paige is going to be my saving grace. Dont have Mum or Dad or family to rely on so pretty much hubby and Paige and I!
But almost feel guilty if am asking her to do tooooooo MUCH! PS.....This post was with me at home with HUBBY!!!!! EEEK -------------
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Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 31 July 2008 at 1:53pm
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Kelpa, presuming Paige is your daughter?? but kids love to help and be helpful so don't worry about asking her to do too much as they're not usually shy about telling you if they don't want to do it. ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08)
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 31 July 2008 at 8:10pm
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I feel the same way about Maya Kelly, when I was feeding this afternoon the gremlins pulled out a whole pack of wipes (their fave trick ) and I had to get her to stop them coz I was tied to the couch by my boobs. She does get a bit frustrated with them, but she doesn't mind and it's give and take, after they go to bed in the evening we have mummy and Maya time. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Nefertiti
Date Posted: 31 July 2008 at 8:28pm
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I'm also presuming Paige is your daughter? Your tickers only show 2 children. How old is your other one?
I have 3 kids. First 2 were only 17mths apart, and then just under 6yrs age gap...that gap was great!! Whats one more after 2 kids lol You'll be fine!! I was panicing when pregnant with number 2, not 3 haha |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 31 July 2008 at 9:55pm
yes paige is kelly's other daughter......she's about 10/11yrs old??? forgive me if i'm wrong kelly, i can't remember ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 12:35pm
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Paige is 9 years Old ..must adapt my profile......
Do any of you ever think about how you are going to keep this kiddles busy in years to come so they all turn out okay???? -------------
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Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 1:32pm
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Yip and don't know the answer to that one. I would like my kids to be involved in a range of different activities i.e sports, music which should give them a range of friends so hopefully when some go off the rails my kids will opt to hang out with another bunch of mates, if that makes sense. ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08)
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Posted By: emmakate
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 1:40pm
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i'm so glad i found this thread today!!
although i have just had my second daughter 6 days ago, and a lot of you have 3 or 4!! today is my first day by myself with them and i'm already experiencing 'mummy guilt' with my oldest (16 months) as she wants my attention when i'm feeding... any tips from the super mums out there how to get through these first few weeks!!?? eeeek! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: 2bmumof3
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 8:13pm
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Not a super mum but I found that you simply need to let some things go, at least for a while. I'm normally really strict on tv but have allowed alot more of it at mo as it's wet an I simply can't entertain the kids as much as I used to. I know that as the weather fines up and bubs gets easier (she is every day) we'll cut it back down to minimal again. Don't worry bout the housework, and have heaps of easy meals in the house. You could try reading to your older child whilst feeding (I found the quite awkward) and get her involved i.e help bring up wind, change naps (getting you the new one).
Best of luck ------------- Sara Corban (22/11/04) Connor (18/04/06) Chelsea (21/05/08)
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