labour & support people - your thoughts?
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Category: Pregnant
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Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
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Topic: labour & support people - your thoughts?
Posted By: kmarie
Subject: labour & support people - your thoughts?
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 9:05am
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Up until recently I assumed that the only support person I would have with me during labour is my DH. After going to antenatal classes though, it occurred to me that there are so many more options, such as asking my mother to be there too. I'm close to my mum but I'm not sure whether I'd choose to have her there or not. Now I really don't know! I'm keen to hear your thoughts...
If, like me, you're having your first and weighing up who will be your support person(s), what are you thinking and why? And for those who have been there and done that, who did you choose and why, and did it work out well for you? Thanks! ------------- 
twins in heaven Oct07 Is 40:11 "He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart." |
Replies:
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 9:12am
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I only had DH officially ... (and he was awesome!)
However Mum and Dad were present for most of my labour (but not in a support capacity as such). When I got to the pushing stage ... I preferred them not to be in the room as I didnt want them to see me in "pain" Although unfortunately Issy got "stuck" and I needed an emergency c ... by that stage I was terrified and in pain and the only person I had eyes for and wouldnt let go of was DH. Good luck for your upcoming labour .. its all worth it in the end!  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 9:17am
| I only had DH. My room ended up rather crowded with hospital staff so I'm glad I only had him. I actually didn't want my parents anywhere near me in labour |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 9:23am
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We discussed this extensively when I was pregnant. DH was my support person and if he wanted another person there to be his support person then I wanted it to be my mum but he decided he was happy being the sole support person. Then on the day itself my mum drove Ian home (where I was labouring) and we asked her to stay. It was fantastic! DH was my support person, mum was his support person. DH would hold my hand, massage my back etc etc while mum heated wheat packs, got water, flannels etc. If she hadn't been there I would have been left in the hospital room alone for much of my labour. Her being there freed DH up completely to just focus on me. Her experience was fantastic too. Having already birthed 4 children herself she was able to provide reassurances when I didn't understand things. It was also very special for her to be there for the birth. She's been present at the hospital for all 6 of her grandchildrens births but Michaela was the first VB she'd been at since she'd birthed my younger sister (and she was a bit busy back then to pay any attention). I actually think one of the reasons I managed a natural birth was becuase of the strong support I had while in labour and I'll be having both DH and mum present next time too.
ETA: I also had 2 MWs (my midwife and a trainee midwife). They were both wonderful but it seemed that they spent an awful lot of time out of the room filling in forms, finding my blood (incase I needed a transplant), writing birth notes and goodness knows what else. -------------  
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Posted By: gypsynita
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 9:24am
I'm planning on a homebirth, so at this stage will have two MWs and DH. He's the only one I really want to see me in that state  , but he's freaking out a bit about it and doesn't really want to be there.... so I'm thinking maybe Mum as well as a back-up. She's pretty flexible and has said she'll be around if I need her, but I can tell her to get out if I want!!
It's a tough call eh? cause on one hand she's been there done that, but then i feel like it's a bit too exposing IYKWIM!! - probably be the last of my worries once I'm in labour... Definately no-one else though. ------------- Anita Mum to Cian (Aug 08), Josh (Jun 10) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: gypsynita
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 9:26am
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oooh - Mrsmojo just read your post and now I'm definately keen for mum to be there!! it never occurred to me to have her there in capacity of DH's support person... ------------- Anita Mum to Cian (Aug 08), Josh (Jun 10) http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 9:31am
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Actually my DH never left the room (he did leave my side a couple of time to go wee wee though in our ensuite) lol
Its just given me a new appreciation of him since I was in labour for over 18 hours! ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 9:34am
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i always said for my first baby i wanted just DH with me and then the next one i wanted my mum to be there also.........jack ended up being an elective c/s so DH was the only one allowed to be with me anyway.
with charli, i did most of my labour at home and i had DH, mum and my sister was there because she'd come to stay with jack when we went to hospital. i'm glad i had my mum there with me for support although we ended up having an emergency c/s so she didn't see the birth ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 9:49am
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I had DH and my mum at every birth in hosp. DH never left my side and my mum ran around like Jo's mum making sure I had wet flannels and anything else I needed. WIth Alize I laboured most of the time alone at a competition then once I was at the hosp my mum, DH and DH's little sister were there at the birth while 12 members of DH family were outside in the waiting area lol I will always have my mum at every birth, she is one awesome lady ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 10:01am
Kmarie, I was in the same position as you - I wasn't sure whether I wanted my mum there or not at the birth. I spoke to her about it, and we decided that she'd be "on call" - she was prepared to come if I called her when I went into labour, but wasn't offended if I decided I just wanted DH and the mw. As it turned out, when I was in labour I was like "ring mum!", so it was really clear what I wanted at that time. And I'm so glad I had her there.
This was exactly my experience too! Mum was filling up the jug with water to pour on me and doing all the practical things, and yeah supporting DH. She's said so many times how it was such an honour to be a part of it, and it was really special. The thing that stood out to me the most though is the new bond that DH and my mum have. They see each other in a new light because of what we all went through together, and seeing how each of them 'looked after' me. Don't get me wrong, they didn't have a bad relationship before, but it's just made them closer. It's really cool actually. I think especially Mum saw just how DH cares for me and how he is such an amazing husband and daddy. I also think that one of the reasons I managed to have a drug free birth was cos of the support I had from both DH and my mum. Things happened quite quickly, from the beginning there was only a few minutes between contractions, so it was very intense. I loved it that DH stayed right by my side throughout it all, and Mum was still there to get stuff when we needed it. She popped out just after Harry was born to give us some family time, which was nice. It was also handy to have an extra person to get bags out of the car, make sure we had everything, take dirty washing home etc. So yeah, I'd recommend it as all in all a very positive experience having my mum there 
edited to fix up quote ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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MrsMojo wrote:Posted By: Natalie_G
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 11:14am
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I wanted my mum there because she has been there done that, but she said its a special time for DH and me and she wouldnt want to ruin it for us, but if I really need her there she will be there. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 11:24am
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Haha i really didnt care that much , i didnt want Caitlyns dad in there as we were no longer together.
I had my mum , and my oldest friend, and another friend who was training to be a mw, as she was the only one who believed me when i said i wanted to push , she came in handy . Next time for most of the labour part I will have DF as my main support person,and my mum , his mum , my 2 best friends and a close family friend, yes lots of people i know, but after going thru it once i know i wont actually care whos there, plus they can entertain me ... The actual pushing stage, i'll probably just have DF |
Posted By: ellen
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 11:24am
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With my first I had my mum and DH there. It was a long, gruelling labour ending up with an epidural, forceps & episiotomy, blah, blah. Mum found it very hard seeing me in pain and didn't want to do it again.
With my second I was much more prepared and had asked my sister to be there along with DH (she was unable to conceive herself). I laboured mostly at home and as it turned out mum was there much of the time. When it came time to go to the hospital the midwife (who knew mum) encouraged her to come along and she did. It was a much more pleasant experience for her. With my third I had a homebirth and mum was there along with DH and our eldest to witness the birth, although a lot of the labouring was done on our own. At every transition stage I just wanted my mum and it was her that held the bowl while I vomitted (a sure sign with me that I was transitioning). I don't really remember her doing much - she was just there for me and that was reassuring. I agree with Arohanui that being part of the birth gave her and DH a special bond. For me giving birth made me feel like I needed "mothering" and she was able to provide that for me. I also picked my last two midwives based on their mothering natures - both focussed on me in the belief that happy mum = happy baby! I hope to one day be lucky enough to experience the joy of childbirth from the other side - such a priviledge to see a new life & family being created. Good luck with the upcoming birth of your baby - you will know at the time who you want there. |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 11:27am
We had a right crew in the end! Dh was my support person, but stuffed his back 2 days before we were induced, so I did an emergency call to our antenatal class facilitator, who is a trainee CBE. She was there to support me AND DH - did lots of getting cold water, holding my legs up while I pushed, encouraging while I was pushing etc. DH was more involved in holding my hand, reassuring me etc (i.e. focussed more on my emotional needs; Nic focussed more on my physical needs!). We also had 2 MWs, a med student (who did lots of BP taking, meds monitoring and leg holding - I hope I never have to work with him  ), an obstetrician, 2 hospital MWs and a pediatrician. By that point, I no longer cared, and it turns out we needed everyone who was there!!
My mum's no longer alive, but if we'd had family in Auckland, I'd definitely have had one of my sisters there. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 11:33am
Thats how i felt too,it just felt natural to me to have my mum cos shes the one who takes care of me when im sick (and i figured i could milk her sympathy for all it was worth haha) I have been lucky enough to be my friends support partner and see her daughter come into the world, its amazing, there is nothing like seeing a baby come into the world |
Posted By: ellen
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 11:48am
| You're so lucky Kelly - I always tear up when I see births on TV and it amazes me to see the labouring women deep in their own worlds and then once the baby is born it's like a light comes on and they are so buzzed out at their new baby. It's incredible how labour is so intensive and then it's forgotten once the baby is delivered! That's why we keep going back for more I guess. But I can still remember the feeling of dread going into labour the second and third times as it all comes rushing back! |
Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 12:36pm
| I am glad you are going to have me Kelly as wll as our close family friend |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 1:30pm
with james i had my mum my best friend and her best friend my dad poped in and out but it was just the right people ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 1:52pm
| DH can't handle the whole blood and gore of it all, and in fact couldn't handle seeing me in pain from contractions so he was never going to be in on the birth, so it was just my mum. Next time will be just mum too and DH will be home looking after Alyssa. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 2:02pm
haha oh dont tell me that! Im scared of labour as it is, but as it often helps in getting the child into the world, its something i have to do ... I will never forget the look on my friends face when she first saw her daughter, it was a mixture of disbelief and joy and what i can only describe as longing, a longing to hold her baby straight away , like those few seconds that her daughter was out of her womb but not yet on her chest, were too long. Was beautiful |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 2:59pm
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I've had three different experiences myself, and I have also been a support person for friends at their births. Being a support person is amazing, but it's also hard coz you feel so powerless, I remember at the last birth I was at wishing I could swap places with my friend coz she was scared and not coping and I wanted to take that away for her, but of course you can't! So I had to settle for being encouraging and doing the practical stuff.
My mum has always said she doesn't want to be at my births, she thinks it's too weird. With Maya, Willie didn't want to be there so I had my best friend even tho I knew from the beginning that it probably wasn't the best idea as she doesn't have kids and had no experience of labour or birth, and being my first baby neither did I! It actually stressed me out more than if it had just been the m/w and I coz I was worried about how my friend was coping (she struggled with seeing me in pain) altho she was good company after the epi went in and I was more comfortable - except when she fell asleep in the lazy boy! When I was pushing I held my own knees back coz she was too busy freaking out "you're going to have a baby!" I cut her cord myself. Don't get me wrong, she's a great friend and I'm pleased she was there, but I wish I had had someone who had more experience to support me as well. When we were TTC the gremlins one of my conditions was that Willie would be at the birth, so I just had him. I wasn't sure how he'd cope, but he had been at DSD's birth so knew a little of what to expect and having been thru it myself and also studied labour and birth for work I was far more aware so didn't need as much support. We pretty much chatted until things started getting serious then him and the m/w held my knees while I pushed (and pushed and pushed for an hour and 15 mins!). I was starting to give up when the m/w said she could see Sienna's head and I thought she was just being encouraging but then I saw tears in Willie's eyes and I knew he could see her too and it gave me the strength to keep going. It was really special afterwards when it was just us and the gremlins, even tho I was pretty emotionally checked-out he was besotted with them and that bond has persisted. He cut their cords, altho it was touch and go with Mercedes lol coz he didn't want to put Sienna down to do it! With Chiara he decided again that he didn't want to be there so I posted on OHbaby! about support people and four of my friends volunteered, and three of them became my "Pit Crew" (the other was at home with her own baby!). It was great, they kept me entertained while I was waiting after the gel was inserted and then during the labour, altho it ws too short for them to do much actual support lol, they kept asking what they could do and I didn't need anything. Two of them held my knees while I pushed but I didn't even notice lol, it only took 2-3 pushes. Oh and they did the whole cold face cloth thing when I was feeling sick and dizzy during transition. The best part tho was having them all there immediately afterwards. Toni took some awesome photos of Chiara being born, and I sent Amy on a mission to find juice when my blood sugars crashed just after she was born and I was craving juice. I *think* Keli dressed Chiara, not sure tho lol, I was out of it, but I know she definitely helped my midwife hold Chiara while she was measured. Having such a great support team made the whole experience really special, and my midwife, who was originally a bit sceptical about me having so many people there said afterwards how nice it was. Oh and they had food, which was awesome after I'd just given birth! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 3:25pm
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I had DH there during the birth (plus 8+ other people, specialists and the like) but my sis, mum and dad were there while I was in hospital and popped in and out. Mum was about to walk in when she heard me screaming so turned around and went back to the waiting room all excited cos she knew what was happening.
I think it was hard for my dad as he didn't like seeing his baby in pain but man he was keen to meet the little guy! |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 7:46pm
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I had DH and my mum. I am not 100% sure exactly why I wanted Mum there, I suppose in part because I always knew she wanted to see a baby being born.
I don't remember alot but I do remember that Mum was able to hold my hand when DH was busy doing something else. DH thought that it was great having Mum there. It also meant that Mum held Jack so DH could hold my hand as I had the stitches done. Next time I will definately have DH and Mum ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 8:25pm
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I had DH and my Mum at Laurens birth. DH actually asked Mum to be his support person and I was thrilled by this!
I will have both of them for my next birth aswell. It was good for them that they had each other for support as I had a hell labour of 27 hours and 3 hours of pushing and they were both exhausted, as was I!! They both supported me in such different ways aswell, DH supported me mentally and emotionally, giving me the encouragement I needed to keep pushing!! Mum supported me physically. She massaged, rubbed, wet clothed my face etc for hours on end. We also had some very funny moments. Between the 4 of us, (me, Mum, DH and m/w) we talked about some random things that day!! We had many moments I can remember that we were all in hysterics, probably the crap I was burbling on about trying to get my mind off my pain!! I thoroughly recommend having more than one support person at your birth! I would have loved to have had DH's Mum there too, but I don't know if she would actually have liked to be there though. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 9:31pm
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for my first it was jsut me and DH for the most part, but I think DH would have loved having someone else. We went all night on our own in the morning we asked his Mum to come a be there she was awsome and loved it so much. Was so good for DH as he was able to help hlep hold my leg's while his Mum helped me.
Second time around we had a homebirth and unfortunality Dh mum had passed away so we had a lady who I know from church who has become Nana to my boy's she was supose to be there to look after Alan, but thing's started happening so fast that she was needed with us. It was great she was able to cut the cord etc. Now her and Mikey have the most amazing bond. This time around we are going to have the same. depending on what time of day and what the boy's need. I would never have my Mum there she would never cope and i would hate to have her there. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 9:52pm
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For DD1 I had DH and my mum. At first, like you, I was just thinking DH. But then during antenatal we were having the discussion about who our support people would be and listening to one woman in particular talk about how she wanted her mum and some other people there and why, really made me rethink the whole birth support thing. I asked mum to be there as well, not just as a support person for DH, but because it was the birth of her first grandchild and I knew it would be such a special thing for her to be there. It was lovely to know I could give her that gift, after all the years she has cared for me. And on the day she was great, backing up DH and getting the wheat packs, flannels and water so that he didn't have to leave. It was also awesome to have another person at the birth to talk about it with afterwards, I love hearing her perspective on it all and she was even able to help me sort through some issues I had with my midwife because she was there.
DD2 my mum was looking after DD1 so it was just me and DH and the midwife. It was a lovely birth too, it happened so fast we didn't need much back up because we were only in the birthing suite for less than an hour. But it was great having them both on either side, encouraging me. The best thing about DD2's birth was that afterwards the midwife turned down the lights and left us alone so we had a good 20 minutes just bonding with our new daughter, just the three of us, before everyone came in. I didn't get that with DD1. ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 10:19pm
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With Gina, I had DH with me but both mum & MIL were outside waiting. They got to see Gina within minutes of being born.
With Emma, I only had DH with me as labour started unexpectdly and we were in too much shock to let anyone know what was happening. Also my pains started at 11pm and she was born at 3am - not the best time to call anyone I have really positive experinces both times and loved to only have DH with me - if I was to do it all over again, I'll do the same ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Mel&Kel
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 12:15pm
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Wow it is amazing to read all your stories, I had no idea about support people and thought I would only want DH in there, this has really made me think though!!! Thanks ------------- Mummy to Eva born 11 Feburary 2009 and Charlotte born 18 April 2011 |
Posted By: Aprilfools
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 12:43pm
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I will be having DH and my mum there. DH I would imagine will be quite shocked and feel really helpless. Mum, well, no one can pat my head quite like she does. I'm also thinking of having one of my cousins there. She's been a support person through two births with her sister and knows our midwife and how she works. Plus she'll be good support for mum and DH too. She's such a sweet girl and it'll make DH feel better having her there I think. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 1:02pm
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I swore i only wanted DP there no other family or friends then DP went to nelson for racing 2 weeks before i was due and sure enough Josh decided it was time to come out so my mum ended up with me which wasnt as bad as i thought it would have been. I hadnt wanted anyone else cos and this will sound stupid but i was embarrassed of being in labour and i have no idea why. As soon as it all started happening though i was happy enough about her being there and all embarrassment flew out the window when things got complicated and there were suddenly like 10 extras in the room - im pretty sure i asked if there was anyone else that wanted to come in and have a look. Next time DP isnt allowed more than 20 min away from me at all times during the pregnancy tho!!! -------------   
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Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 2:27pm
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Obviously I'd have my MW, my husband has seen me through my teenage years and all the dramas there and he is still the most calming person I know so he doesn't have a choice about the matter For the pushing part: The mothers can leave, its the whole shyness embarrasement thing, so just DH can stick around for that bit, he started it after all!
-------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 3:26pm
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For my whole labour (and in the end emergency csection) I just had Dh and the back up midwife... he never left the room at all.. and although i didn't want anyone touching me I wanted him in sight the whole time and he was a fabulous support.. so next time it will be the same.. except maybe my parents would be in the hospital instead of not being there(due to circumstances)but not anywhere near the room:)! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 7:32pm
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My mum is too opinionated and I didn't want to risk a clash between medical advice, my wishes and her wishes. So she wasn't invited. And I didn't really have any besties who I could think of. So it has just been DH and the midwife (and sometimes a support mw as well) each time. I think I prefer it that way, there's not too many people to update etc. And when I had the c/s it meant there was no quick decision on who couldn't come in (only one support person allowed). ------------- |
Posted By: Shorty
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 10:19am
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I only had DH, also gave me a new appreciation on him. He was with me for the whole 26hours, not once did he stray. (altho he did nap when I napped)
At the time I did not have any close friends that I could call on, but for next time I will be looking for more support. I think it is a wonderful experience to share. ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: mrshouse
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 4:10pm
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i had DH, mum and 2 sisters.......i have to say my support people ended up needing support! my mum and DH at my sides looking down and away, older sister sitting down about to faint and my little sister in and out of the room for air......DH was pretty scared to begin with and lasted up until DDs head came out....mum didnt watch any cus she was too busy coaching me wich was great cus i would have never known to push like im going toilet! all in all it was funny to laugh over after......there was never any questions whether to have mum there, and im glad she was...........this time round,il have DH, mum, my older sis and friend there.....i say the more the merrier! ------------- http://www.baby-gaga.com/"> 
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Posted By: kmarie
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 4:48pm
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wow, so much food for thought! thanks! and thanks for the well wishes too, and the good birth stories - they're always nice to hear
please do keep them coming - it's fascinating hearing what you have to say. i get what you mean about having a support person for your support person, that's something i asked dh if he'd like the other day. problem is, as this is a first for him too, he has no idea, lol. i'll show him some of these threads as we keep mulling over what to do. arohanui - your idea of chatting to mum about it first makes a whole lot of sense, thanks
ta, kristy -------------
twins in heaven Oct07 Is 40:11 "He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart." |
Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 5:33pm
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My last was pretty much just Hubby and I and midwife lulling around in the Background getting stuff sorted......Mark was awesome and all the Hosp staff commented on how good it was..
He had me focussed on my breathing and sucking on the gas and getting me water and ice and lollies....My M/w this time hardly did anything apart from tell me off when I said I had had enough!!! With Blake I had my Grandma and Mark& M/W...Was same story really..Mark was the one I concentrated on..altho I was very aware of Grandma there and hurting her hand and traumatising her as she has never had children ...so decided this time def just Hubby and I...... -------------  
 
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 5:41pm
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Well....In my Birth plan I put down DH and my Mum!
Couple of day before I had DD my contractions started and I phoned mum to let her know....told her to sit back till it was time to go to Hospital but she was at my place with my Aunt with in half an hour! They were both great while I was having congrations...DH was sooo jittery that he didnt know what to do...while mum and Aunt rubbed my back and held my hand! I ended up with a long labour and the whole time (apart from over night I had to stay at the hospital) all three of them were there with me. But after they induced me all three never left my sight. Then my MIL came over (I so didnt want her there) but she stayed in the room untill it was time for me to push...and my MW told my Aunt and MIL to leave the room (which was great). DH and Mum were both really tired by that stage (so was I) BUT DH was great, holding my hand and telling me I am doing well. Mum looking down there (DH Refused) to see progress, cold cloth, I threw up after a while and she helped with that etc.... I ended up with a C Section and only DH was there, holding my hand thru the whole time while Mum, Dad, Aunt and MIL waited out side to see their frst G/Child! It was great because I was in recovery for more than half an hour ...DH was with me so the G/parents had a good time Awwwing and Aahhhing with DD. I think the more you have around the better but have a couple of people while actually giving birth...unless you want several which is great! I cant imagine any one apart from DH and mum there to be honest. And if all goes well and I have a VBAC then the two (DH and Mum) will see a whole diff birth!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 7:56pm
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With my first birth I had my mum and DH (and the mw). It was nice having them both there, DH was just there but at times he didnt exactly know how to help so my mum would tell him what to do. I felt confident with my mum there cos she had done it all many times before.
The second time around I was a lot more confident and decided that this is something DH and I wanted to do on our own. I felt very 'grown up' doing it with out her and it really felt like it was our very own baby. (the first time I was only 19 so it was slightly different) My mum really wanted to be there but we gave her the job of looking after DD#1 and made sure they were the first to see us. I enjoyed both experiences and was glad we did it the way we did. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 8:20pm
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For my first I had a huge medical entourage 2nd boy it started the same at 7am with me, DH, my post natal MW and my OB and his little entourage (who were told by him not to talk to me as I was his patient and he knew me quite well). Once I was in labour (at 3pm) it was me, DH and MW. Dh got $hitty at me and left so it was me and my MW. He was called back when I was ready to push and it was me, DH and my MW. Just as Josh was born the BU MW arrived so she did the stuff with Josh while my MW dealt with me. For my next I want my mum to be there, but I think it might be a bit hard as I already know it will be a premmie baby, but I think she will be all I will ahve as no doubt DH will be away when I have number 3. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 9:55pm
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I had my DF, mum and my nana, they were all fantastic as I had a really rough labour. I thought I would worry about mum and nana "seeing too much" but I honestly didnt give a flying fig when it was crunch time.
In the end I needed a emergency c section cos caden was stuck, DF was with me in the operating room but mum and nana had to wait outside so at that point they went home and came back at visitng hours(I had him at 1.03am). Im glad I had them there, thye really helped keep me sane! ------------- |
Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 06 August 2008 at 12:19am
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I am a bit jealous of all the support people you all seem to have! It will just be my DH with me at the hospital. Mum and I have never been terribly close - we are just so, so different. I think I would be uncomfortable with her there.
It's times like this when I feel like I am missing out on something. Hopefully bubba will make us a little closer... 
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 06 August 2008 at 5:54am
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oh Kiwi I know the feeling heaps of people have their Mum's for support I don't have mine at all if anythign I am her support for pretty much everything. Big hug's and yeah havign a baby dose seem the help the Mother daughter thing . ------------- Deborah Mum to:
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