Wet nursing and donating milk
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Topic: Wet nursing and donating milk
Posted By: Mazzy
Subject: Wet nursing and donating milk
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 10:22pm
Yet another thread started because of something talked about in the great BF/FF debate threads!
Following on from the breast milk bank/donating/wet nursing OT discussion in another thread, I'm really interested to hear what people think of these concepts.
How do you feel about the idea of feeding your baby with someone elses milk?
Would a breast milk bank make it more acceptable or would you be happy to take expressed milk from someone you know? What about wet nursing?
If you were having trouble breast feeding and someone offered to supply you with some expressed breast milk, what would you think/feel?
------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls!
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Replies:
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 10:27pm
Like I posted in the other thread I'd gladly have donated the 6l of frozen breastmilk I had to tip down the sink when I weaned the gremlins, I cried my eyes out coz I had worked so hard to get it and it was such a waste!
I'd have no issues giving my babies donated breast milk if I couldn't feed them/express for them myself.
But like I said in the other thread, I don't think I could wet nurse or have my babies wet nursed, it kinda weirds me out coz breastfeeding is such a bonding thing.
-------------
Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
 The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 10:30pm
I agree with Emma on the wet nursing thing. Kind of weirds me out too. I don't think I'd mind buying the milk, but for some reason getting it from someone I know. I don't know why that is though, maybe because it wouldn't feel like *I* was feeding the baby, rather that x was and I was just helping out, whereas its meant to be the other way around. I'm probably making no sense lol
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Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 11:27pm
I think they're all great ideas
------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3
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Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 03 August 2008 at 11:37pm
I think they are all great ideas too.
------------- http://lilypie.com">
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 6:57am
i KNOW that they are good ideas, but it still weirds me out.
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 7:10am
I dont know about the wet nurse, I know thats what happened before formula (and still does) but it creeps me out too.
My friend let her friend feed her DS as the girls baby was born ill and she couldnt feed him before he passed. I understood why she did it, I just dont think I could.
As for someone else's milk, my only concern would be how it was tested for nasties, after all it would have to be better than formula or else what is the point? (no offense intended by that comment, just hard to ariticulate at 7am)
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Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 7:38am
When my Mum had me she also fed twins. I am not sure if she wet nursed or if she expressed for them. I will have to ask her!
She has mentioned it to me several times, so I think it gives her quite a nice feeling to know she helped 2 other babies that were sick by donating/feeding them breastmilk!
I think the milk banks are a great idea, especially for very sick babies or for babies that have Mothers to ill to feed after child birth.
------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 8:03am
I think they are awesome ideas as well.
In the US the milk goes through some kind of pasturisation (sp?) to ensure that there aren't any nasties. If it didn't you wouldn't know what you were getting.
I think with the wet nursing I wouldn't mind feeding someone elses child but I would be very cautious of who I let feed my child, it would need to be someone I knew very well and trusted.
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 8:07am
My MIL had a lot of milk when she was in hospital (back in those days you stayed for a couple of weeks) and after feeding her baby the nurse would come and help her express to give her milk to other babies.
I think that's a nice idea and I'd have no issues giving EBM from someone else to my baby if I couldn't BF but I agree with others that I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable having someone else actually nurse my baby. In fact we have a friend from church (an older lady) that calls cuddling nursing and it weirded me out everytime she asked if she could nurse my baby even though I know she only meant that she wanted to hold her.
I think I could have a new career as a wet nurse. I'm still lactating (a whole year after I stopped BFing).
ETA: I wouldn't mind nursing someone elses baby, just not so keen on letting someone else nurse mine - double standards aye
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 8:10am
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 8:33am
I'm totally for milk banks here in NZ. Especially if it were comparable to formula in terms of price. I'd have happily chosen BM over formula with Ella if it had been an option.
Plus, I had SO much milk myself that I often wound up having to chuck it out (teeny-tiny freezer). It seemed like such a waste, I would have loved to donate it.
I'm the same as most when it comes to someone else feeding my babies though, I think I would feel a bit excluded if I couldn't feed them myself.
Hehe Jo, whenever Ella used to cry as a baby, my MIL used to say "Oh I wish I could just plug her in and feed her" It gave me the creeps so badly, I always wanted to snatch Ella back and keep her away from her just in case she tried!
------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 8:35am
cuppatea wrote:
MrsMojo wrote:
I think I could have a new career as a wet nurse. I'm still lactating (a whole year after I stopped BFing).
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Imagine how much you could freak some people out when they ask you what you do for a living |
PMSL! I might just tell people that's what I do so I can watch the reaction & if they don't believe me I'll squirt them
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 9:30am
LMAO at your MIL Mel an PMSL at you Jo!
Cuppatea is right, donated milk in the States/Australia goes thru a screening process much the same as the one used to screen donated blood and then it is pasteurised. I'm not sure what the cost is, or even if there is a cost to the parents or if it's subsidised or funded. I can imagine in the States its User Pays coz everything is but for some reason I have a feeling it's a different system in Australia. I read a couple of articles on the Australian set up but it was a while ago and I am now officially brain dead from lack of sleep.
-------------
Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
 The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 9:46am
I'd do it, although I've only ever had enough milk for my kids so if I had extra milk I'd love too.
Ben once suggested getting our friend to watch Jack and thought she could bf him when he got hungry
I'm the same as you Jo I'd feed someone elses but wouldn't be so keen on anyone feeding mine. Although if something happened to me while I had a kid under one I'd love it if someone bf it. One of my huge fears when the kids were small was something happening to me and the kids missing out on breastmilk.
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 10:02am
When my mum had me (nearly 27 years ago now), she had me in Oz and those were the days when you stayed in hospital for 7 days after the birth (my mum left after 5 thou as we came to NZ when I was 7 days old). When my mum was feeding me on one side the nurses were expressing the other side to give to the premmie babies in the neonates. If I could I would so do that. Not sure about wet nursing thou.
------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived!
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 10:04am
OT but when Maya was tiny and refused to take a bottle my Dad was like "she'll take it eventually, if you died she'd have no choice, she'd have to take it." I was like, "really nice dad, just what I want to think about with a nine week old baby!"
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Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
 The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 10:07am
Parents Who would have em
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 10:45am
I think it would weird me out too much. I couldnt use a wet nurse cos feeding to me is bonding whether its bottle or breast in the beginning. As for buying EBM i dunno it kind of grosses me out as i dont know what the person is like or what they put into their bodies and you would lose some of the good from the breast milk if it was going thru some processes like pasturising which would defeat the purpose really. Even if it was a friend supplying it i dunno it would still seem odd to me - i am in no way against other people doing it tho. Josh isnt worse off for being on formula so i think i would rather use that if i dont or cant feed next time.
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 11:01am
I am with Jo, would happily donate my milk but the idea of letting my baby have someone elses....hmmmmm....not so sure.
However, we feed them cows milk - thats a totally different species! Sheesh, its making me think about it now!
------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 11:13am
CuriousG wrote:
However, we feed them cows milk - thats a totally different species! Sheesh, its making me think about it now!  |
Yeah exactly, how can human milk which they are suppose to have be more gross than cows milk? Imagine if they used cows as wet nurses? now that would be something to be weirded out about.
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 11:17am
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 11:31am
Yes I made panels that automated the feeding of the diary cows and have been to some diary sheds, not pleasant. They do eat other food as well as the grass, some crap in pellet form that they are given. At least the don't eat each other anymore
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Posted By: Nikki
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 11:59am
I would happily donate my milk - and had heaps to donate - but I'm not so keen on using other peoples milk. I think I would feed my sisters baby or have her feed mine in a one off emergency situation .... but the whole wet nurse idea weirds me out otherwise.
If I was going to use someone elses expressed milk (which I couldn't see happening) it would have to be someone I know well so I could trust the milk didn't have anything dodgy in it.
As for the cows - formula is made from milk powder that has been treated to remove any nasties - it is very thoroughly tested, and has all the vitamins / minerals / amino acids / nucleotides / fatty acids added to make give it a similar composition to human milk. So I don't find it weird at all .... but then, I used to develop formula so I don't really think of it as milk coming from a cow!!
------------- DS (5yrs) and DD (3yrs)
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 12:13pm
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 12:16pm
lilfatty wrote:
MrsMojo wrote:
I think I could have a new career as a wet nurse. I'm still lactating (a whole year after I stopped BFing).
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Golly ... still lactating after a year?!?! Here I was thinking to myself, it cant take too much longer to dry up (as Im still lactating too!)
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I've given up on drying up now..... although I expect I'll stop lactating once I reach menopause 
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 12:54pm
Darn it! I thought I could loose an easy 5 kgs if my breasts would go back to normal!
------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)
I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 12:59pm
lilfatty wrote:
Darn it! I thought I could loose an easy 5 kgs if my breasts would go back to normal!  |
PMSL!! That's not where I want to lose my weight from.
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 1:56pm
Mazzy wrote:
Yet another thread started because of something talked about in the great BF/FF debate threads!
Following on from the breast milk bank/donating/wet nursing OT discussion in another thread, I'm really interested to hear what people think of these concepts.
How do you feel about the idea of feeding your baby with someone elses milk?
Would a breast milk bank make it more acceptable or would you be happy to take expressed milk from someone you know? What about wet nursing?
If you were having trouble breast feeding and someone offered to supply you with some expressed breast milk, what would you think/feel?
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I think these are all fab ideas. I would use a wet nurse and I would be a wet nurse. In fact we looked at getting my sil to feed Jake if we hadn't gotten him latched on by week 6, which he did, but I would have done that. It dosen't gross me out, but I can see why it would gross people out, though.
------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 1:57pm
Oh and a bit of bad news for Y'all.
You NEVER really completely dry up....
Sorry....
------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 2:01pm
ooh and breast milk is sterile (like urine, lol)
However, you need to think about it like blood, as it is basically white blood, hence the need for "pasturisiation" so any blood disorders - AIDS etc, would need to be check dfor before dontaing to a milk bank.
------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 2:03pm
my great nana was a wet nurse down south she feed all her babies all 8 of them and wet nuresed around 12 babies over 5 years we follow on from her and were all good milkers but i dont think i could feed someone eslss baby
------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a>
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 2:06pm
fattartsrock wrote:
ooh and breast milk is sterile (like urine, lol) However, you need to think about it like blood, as it is basically white blood, hence the need for "pasturisiation" so any blood disorders - AIDS etc, would need to be check dfor before dontaing to a milk bank.
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That's a great way of looking at it.
If your child needed a blood transplant would you balk at using whatever blood was available at the hospital, even knowing that it came from a complete stranger? Probably not. So why is it any different if, for instance, you had a premmie baby and needed breast milk to help it survive but you couldn't supply it yourself?
As I said earlier I'd be happy to use EBM if I couldn't feed my baby myself and I would be happy to donate EBM - I have it 'on tap' if anyone wants some
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 2:10pm
I never dried up between Maya and the gremlins and it was nearly 3 years between when I weaned her and when they were born.
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Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
 The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: chonny
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 2:20pm
this is a very interesting topic.
I thinki would be a wet nurse if it meant i was helping another baby have the benefits of breast milk. I never had an excesive amount with V but i know that if you start needing more, your body produces more. I really wanted to feed both my boys but V weaned himself a few months back. so yea, wet nurseing doesn't bother me. As for someone feeding my child, if it was a desperate situation & their milk was at the same stage as mine, it would be ok if it were a close friend.
If i had excess i would express & donate & if i couldn't feed for some reason like being on medication for cancer or something like that, then i would want expressed milk to give my baby as long as i knew it was clean etc.
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 2:27pm
I'd have no problem being a wet nurse or using one...
In fact I have a weird recurring dream where I instinctively feed a baby when it is crying and then realise it isn't mine and freak out having to explain to the mother that I accidentally breastfed her baby! ha.
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Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 2:38pm
Another interesting topic!!
I had a think about this, and then this comment made it a bit clearer:
MrsMojo wrote:
If your child needed a blood transplant would you balk at using whatever blood was available at the hospital, even knowing that it came from a complete stranger? Probably not. So why is it any different if, for instance, you had a premmie baby and needed breast milk to help it survive but you couldn't supply it yourself? |
I cant imagine being a wet nurse as I never got to do that for my own babies, but if there was a choice in this country between purchasing formula or donated breastmilk which was screened I think I would go for the breastmilk. For all the debating, I dont think there is anyone that would deny breastmilk is the best food for babies Would be interesting to hear more about how the australian one is set up!
------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4

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Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 2:40pm
Posted By: WigglesFan
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 3:37pm
There was a woman on another parenting forum I sometimes read who tried but was unable to express breast milk for her very early twins. It would be really nice if neonatal units had a ready supply of milk for babies who really need it but can't have their own mother's for some reason. I would be very happy donating. I am a fabulous cow (same genes as mrsmojo) and lactate profusely.
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Posted By: ellen
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 4:44pm
I ff my three but had a funny experience with my second. My BF that I have known since primary school had her second baby a few days before mine. Well my son had been bottlefed for a few weeks when we met up for coffee. My baby was a bit unsettled and she suggested she give him a feed. I agreed thinking that there was no way he would latch as he used to arch his back for me. Blow me down he latched straight away like he'd been doing it forever. She burped him and gave him the other side. I felt really weird about it - more because he took to it like a duck to water and had fought me - so I felt a bit rejected.
I think a milk bank is a great idea and would've used it instead of formula. Not sure how I feel about the wet nursing as even bottle feeding is a bonding time with baby so would probably prefer to bottle feed EBM.
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 6:42pm
I wouldn't have any problems with someone else feeding my child if I couldn't. I'd be more concerned about the welfare of my child. I was adopted at 2 weeks old and had a good bond with my adopted mother without breastfeeding.
I would expect with a wet nurse they wouldn't have the same emotional bond to the baby.
Especially if breast is best, then I'd be happy to find a way to give them that, then formula becomes a last resort.
------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
[/url]
Angel June 2012
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Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 7:16pm
Since I started the topic, I thought I'd better chime in as well!
I would very happily donate milk and wet nurse another baby. I reckon it'd be a pretty good job! No problems with someone else feeding my kids either. My mum and her best friend used to feed each others babies (my younger brother and her daughter were born three days apart) so I've never really thought anything of it. I've never done it, mostly because I know most other people think it's gross.
------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls!
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Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 7:44pm
I know I definitely wouldn't want another woman to BF my baby, but am not sure how I feel about using donated EBM if I couldn't produce milk myself? Maybe if I knew the woman, I wouldn't think about the milk coming from some cracked out P addict who went to a milk bank to get some cash??
On the other side, I'd happily donate EBM, but not sure I'd feel comfortable BF another baby either?
I honestly don't know... Maybe it all feels so personal just because it involves boobs?
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 8:02pm
I think I'd really only do wetnursing (from me, or to my kids) with a very close friend. That's all.
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Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 8:49pm
Well, as I said in the BF ads thread, I already have given donated EBM to my DS. I struggled for 12 weeks in an attempt to BF my DS, and had a very low milk supply so couldn't give him much EBM either. He was bottle fed from day 5 onwards. It didn't really bother me whether he was fed via boobie or bottle, as long as he was healthy and happy, but I did want to give him as much EBM as possible.
We were incredibly blessed to meet another mother who lived near us, with a son just one week younger than ours, who wanted to help us out. She had an abundant milk supply and offered to give us EBM for our son, which she did for 10 weeks (an amazing feat, I owe her soooo much babysitting to return the favour ). We had only met once beforehand, which made me think she must be the most wonderful person in the world offering to do that for a total stranger.
We had the same midwife, who set the whole thing up for us - she basically just asked whether each of us would be happy to donate and receive EBM and then introduced us to each other. She talked us through the risks of using unpastuerised EBM, and we understood that AIDS, hepatitis (and apparently thrush) can be passed on via EBM [these things can also be passed on through use of second-hand breast pumps by the way - read the fine-print in the instruction book]. Since she was the midwife for both of us, she knew our medical details and therefore knew the EBM was safe. So after a few days of debate, DH and I decided we would like to use it.
The woman who donated the EBM is a vegetarian (I'm not) and we used to joke that DS had the most varied diet of any babies we knew: he had my omnivorous diet EBM, plus vegetarian EBM plus formula . We also figured that he got a double dose of immunity.
So how did it feel from my point of view? Well, I must admit it definitely felt weird to know my DS was drinking someone elses EBM the first time I gave it to him. Kinda felt gross when pouring it into the bottle and heating it up, then cleaning the bottle afterwards. Oh, and I soon learnt not to ask how long it took her to pump a certain volume of EBM cause it made me feel completely useless for taking half an hour to produce some pathetic amount like 10 mls. I was pretty upset about being unable to BF and my low milk supply. But anyway, after feeding DS the donated EBM for the first time I was completely fine with it. And felt incredibly lucky to be receiving such a precious gift for DS.
Oh, and I know its completely irrational for me to think this, but I would be really uncomfortable with the thought of someone else being his wet-nurse. Part of me was curious to know whether DS would latch onto someone else who didn't have flat nipples, but mostly I didn't want to find out if he would or not. I bottle feeding DS and does DH - it's really important bonding time for us both.
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Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 8:51pm
I'm Ok with donating milk and using EBM from another woman - as long as it's been checked for infections/diseases
I'm not sure about wetnursing. I don't think I'd like to have my babies b'feeding off another woman as the bond seems too close - I'd rather use formula. I wouldn't feel comfortable b'feeding another woman's baby either
------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 04 August 2008 at 9:31pm
pepsi wrote:
Maybe if I knew the woman, I wouldn't think about the milk coming from some cracked out P addict who went to a milk bank to get some cash??
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From the sounds of the previous comments in this thread you wouldn't need to offer cash for EBM, there are plenty of lovely ladies that have BM in abundance and would be happy to donate.
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Posted By: fairsk8
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 11:20am
When I had Xanda, I had a lot of colostrum, and the nurses came and asked me if they could express some of it for a couple of babies on the ward whose mums had none. I said sure. It was pretty weird having someone else express for me though.
------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/">
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 11:43am
When I was in hospital I made HEAPS of colostrum and my mother was telling me I should donate the stuff I couldn't use in time (because the hospital were having to biff the excess). So I asked one of the midwives about it and she said unfortunately new mothers wouldn't want to use it (but she wished they would).
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 11:48am
Man I would have loved some donated colostrum!!!
Rats.
Ah well... Hannah ain't worse off for her formula top ups in the first few days.
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Posted By: chonny
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 2:11pm
how do you know if you have heaps of colostrum? i seem to have heaps more this time already than last time, but possibly coz i only stopped bfing a few months ago?
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 2:36pm
I was leaking the stuff everywhere, and when I expressed some for him to have via a syringe the midwife was astounded at how much I had got out. She said I had enough for the whole ward...lol. I would have gladly donated some if I had been asked to.
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Posted By: chonny
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 2:40pm
fair enough then
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