My biggest fear!!!! Why??!!
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Life After Miscarriage
Forum Description: Up to one in five pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet for many the loss of a pregnancy is isolating and lonely. Share your thoughts and feelings here with others who have experienced loss.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19856
Printed Date: 10 July 2025 at 10:30pm
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Topic: My biggest fear!!!! Why??!!
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Subject: My biggest fear!!!! Why??!!
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 10:24pm
Well my biggest fear has happened!! I am currently in the process of miscarrying my first pregnancy. I just cant believe that it is happening. I dont want it to be happening but it is. I am exhausted from crying and just want the pain to stop. I dont want to believe that my baby didnt grow past 6w1d 
The support from the March 2009 mummies has been amazing. I couldnt have survived the last painful and worrying week without their kind words and thoughts. Dh has also been amazing but he is also grieving. Now I just want to move on. I still have bleeding which is fairly consistant, so I am hoping I wont need to have a D&C. As selfish as it may seem I just want nature to do its thing and carry on and start again. ------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Replies:
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 10:32pm
Hugs Rianna, I'm sorry to hear your sad news 
I felt exactly the same way about starting again, I remember feeling almost ashamed to ask the OB that did my d and c when we could TTC again coz I felt like I was betraying my angel but all I wanted was to be pregnant again. Thinking of you, Emma -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: BusyMum2three
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 10:32pm
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Hi Rianna,
I am so sorry to hear about your bad news. I miscarried in July also, I ended up having a D&C, I felt that this was the best way for it all to come away to give me the best chance of conceiving again without (hopefully) too many problems next time round. I wish you all the strength you need to get through the next few weeks... Feel free to PM me if you want :-) Take Care xx |
Posted By: Genie
Date Posted: 05 August 2008 at 11:27pm
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I'm really sorry for your loss. I remember feeling the same way, I couldn't wait to get pregnant again, felt like I needed to fill the void or something. Take care and do what you need to get through it. ------------- 
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Posted By: Vanillabean
Date Posted: 06 August 2008 at 8:22am
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So, so sorry to hear about this Rianna. After my experiences I truly believe that miscarriage is a bereavement like any other but more difficult in some ways because there are no social institutions for grieving.
Don't feel bad for wanting the miscarriage to be finished, its only natural to want this and there is no real way you can grieve and start to move on until it is. This is a difficult journey but there are many of us here who have been through it and can support you. ------------- 5x mc, Jan 08, June 08, Nov 08, May 09, April 11 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 06 August 2008 at 8:29am
 I had a miscarriage in March, at the scan when baby should have been 6 weeks but only measured 4 (was just a tiny empty sac) I just wanted it all to be over. Luckily (if that is the right word) I started bleeding 2 days later and miscarried naturally. I also didn't want to have to go through a DNC. I think it is totally natural that once we know things aren't right that we just want it to be over so we can start moving on and definitely allow yourself time to grieve.
------------- 
 
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 06 August 2008 at 9:05am
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I'm so sorry Rianna08. Thinking of you xx ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: Mum_mum
Date Posted: 06 August 2008 at 10:12am
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Hi Rianna, as you can see so many of us have gone through the same thing and we have all felt exactly the same - devastated! I understand about moving on as quickly as possible, i too wanted that but feel that having the last few months to properly let go has ben good for me but each to their own and you do what is right for you and your hubby.
Losing a bub is bloody hard becuase no-one except you and your hubby (and others that go though this) know what it truly feels like. some can not understand how you can get so attached to something so little in such few weeks. I wish you all the best for your future, take care of yourself! x ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
Angel baby - May 2008
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Posted By: Leelee
Date Posted: 06 August 2008 at 11:27am
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I'm so sorry to hear your sad new Rianna. I'm thinking of you and your DH. Take good care of yourself hun ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 06 August 2008 at 11:30am
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I lost my baby at 8 weeks and found out at the 12 week scan.. so I know how it feels and wanted to send big hugs to you...i was so angry in the beginning then just sad...we were forced to wait three months which for me was good in the end..but very hard..
I had a DandC as I couldn't face passing my baby at my house(and it had already been 5 weeks) as losing her was hard enough let alone doing that as well..but it's totally a personal thing .. all of us are here to talk if you need to (or just get angry) .. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 06 August 2008 at 7:40pm
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Miscarriages are so sad. I don't think you should feel bad about wanting to conceive again though. I think just getting pg is enough to show you how much you really want to be pg! Hang in there, it's rather an emotional and hormonal time but it will settle down soon. ------------- |
Posted By: tiptoes
Date Posted: 06 August 2008 at 10:21pm
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Oh rianna I'm so sorry to hear about your loss ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com">  
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 06 August 2008 at 11:39pm
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Thanks everyone for your kind words and thoughts. Its so good to know there is great support here!! I think the worse thing is that you never expect it to happen to you and when it does it is honestly like loosing a real person.
Just a question though for those that have let nature run its course, how long did you bleed for? I started bleeding last wednesday but it was brown mucous. Sunday it turned to bright red blood and its been a med/heavy af like flow since. ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived
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Posted By: nellybelly
Date Posted: 06 August 2008 at 11:45pm
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Just sent you hugs in the Planning Preg forum but this forum is really the right place for that. MC is such a s**t thing to go through (sorry about lang) it makes me so mad and sad that we have to experience it.
If you want to TTC straight away I reckon you should just go for it and do what feels right for you and what feels healing.
I had natural MC this May and last June - both times were different for bleeding. MC1 a week of heavy clotty blood, this time much longer duration and more spotting - but that was because of some retained tissue that came out naturally in its own good time. |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 07 August 2008 at 7:02am
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Oh chick, you know how angry i was. Its perfectly natural to want to be get pg straight away or not to, totally individual.
I am so sorry this happended to you, its not fair! and like foxxy said, if you just want to vent or get angry or just let all your feelings explode we are all hear for you and willing to listen. Sometimes you dont want advice, just an ear and a hug (hope virtual will do)! Big hugs hun. -------------   
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 07 August 2008 at 9:05am
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Mine was just like a period and lasted about 5 days in total. The first day was the worst with bad pains and clots and then the next day was not so great either pain wise then after that it calmed right down. My next period was pretty awful as well though just to pre warn you.
As far as I know it is fine to try straight away if you like, some doctors recommend waiting one cycle but I think that is just so its easier to date not because there is any medical reason to wait. I was told it could take 4-6 weeks to get my next period but my body treated the mc like a normal period and my next arrived its usual 27 days later. There is a lady in the Jan mummies who got pregnant straight after a mc without having a period in between, she was still waiting for AF to arrive when she realised she was pg. -------------
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 07 August 2008 at 10:47pm
Thanks Mel. And yep thats so true. The support we've had from the family we had told has been great but they have all tried to give me advice and its not always what I want..... Anyways I know here I can just vent  And its great that everyone here is so supportive and understanding.
Today my HCG levels came back at 9000 which was again up from Tuesdays, very weird!! Anways, my normal GP was away but I told his locum (sp?) that Im just over the bleeding. Its been 9 days now (10 days tomorrow) and I just want it to stop!! The bleeding in itself is exhausting! So she has done a referral to the hospital suggesting a D&C. Im hoping if we walk into the emergency dept tomorrow morning I can get it done  ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 8:37am
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Hope they can help you out at the hospital today -------------
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 10:01am
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Oh chicken, my thoughts are with you!
Good luck at the hospital, I found it I couldnt even begin to move on until after the D&C, until it was all over. Big hugs hun. Big, humungus hugs!!!!!! -------------
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 7:16pm
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Hope you went OK at the hospital Rianna I went to the ED when I was losing our baby and they organised the d and c within a few hours. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 9:09pm
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That would be me!!!! One little "slip up" in an otherwise "oh so sensible and careful" cycle and bobs your uncle! As cuppatea mentioned. I was waiting my one cycle but emotionally I was ready to get going again. We were behaving and all. then one bottle of wine and a few misread pmt symptoms (must have been ov symptoms) and we thought to hell with the condoms. Here we are 18 weeks on.
Take some time to do somthing special for yourself but when you feel ready....go for it! |
cuppatea wrote:Posted By: mylilmosaic
Date Posted: 08 August 2008 at 11:40pm
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Huge hugs again Rianna, I hope the bleeding settles down for you soon. I know the feeling of just wanting it to finish so that you can move on with thing.
Take care of yourself hun
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Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 4:06pm
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Huge hugs Rianna hope the bleeding settles down for you soon my bleeding lasted 6days starting of with the Brownish discharge don't feel guilty about wanting to start trying straight away. Take care of yourself sweetie ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 5:09pm
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Thanks everyone for your wonderful kind words
We arrived at the hospital at 9am yesterday. Was seen to fairly quickly so that was nice. But waited ages for blood test results due to a mix up and ages to see a gyne. Finally at 4pm they had moved me to the operating area where I waited about half an hour. At this time Dh and I were thinking this is progressing well time wise. They took me through to the operating induction area (where you get your sleeping/pain drugs etc), was there for 5 minutes and then taken back as there was an emergency. Eventually got back into the induction area at 6pm and went through to the operating suite about 6.30pm. I remember waking about 7.20pm and by then it was too late to go home so I was admited over night. Good thing I was as I got up to go to the toilet about 11pm and (sorry TMI ahead) I just flooded the toilet floor with blood .. Anyways, the bleeding has been light since then which is much better. Im hoping it will stop by tomorrow.
Haha funny thing is we were meant to be having a nice relaxing weekend away on the Sunshine Coast from yesterday but we have had to cancel. Dh rang last night and he said they were good about refunding which was great to hear. Ah well we'll go another weekend The hotel and beach will always be there.
Im really pleased I decided to have the D&C done as yesterday on examination by the Dr my cervix were closed so I hadnt actually MC'ed by then so it could have carried on for another long slow exhausting week. Anyways I'd better leave my really long post there  . I am feeling better, still get a little upset having to tell people or when I am reading MC information or if I think about it for too long. But all in all much better than last week. Thanks for all your support ladies  ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 10 August 2008 at 1:12pm
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Oh sweety, glad you have it all sorted now! In a sense....
I still cry. I just made a wee little box of things for our angel on friday. I put the pg test, a wee pair of booties i was given, a card we were given and a cute bib we had bought and a little cuddly kiwi into the box oh and my hospittal band. I had a big cry and said goodbye. I said a wee prayer and asked her to look after this baby and keep him strong and healthy. When you are ready doing something like this might really help, well it helped me! Still thinking of you chick. -------------
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 10 August 2008 at 6:28pm
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Rianna that is so sad. When I had mine in 2001 I let it go naturally (I was far too scared to tell my parents - which seems so silly now) and I bled for 2 weeks. But as for you holiday save it for about a month and then I will be over on the sunshine coast ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: BusyMum2three
Date Posted: 10 August 2008 at 8:02pm
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I am glad to hear that you are ok Rianna. Its been four weeks since my D&C, and the bleeding stopped after about week one, so you can expect to bleed for a few days.
Take care and look after yourself... Rach |
Posted By: Tigerish
Date Posted: 10 August 2008 at 9:59pm
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Hi Rianna, glad to hear your D&C went well and you're home recovering now. Be prepared for some spotting as I had my D&C on 30 July and the spotting (very light) only stopped this weekend!
Hope you're starting to feel a little better 
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 11 August 2008 at 9:31pm
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Mel what a lovely idea. I have put some of the things together already but not ready to let them go just yet IYKWIM. But I am sure there will be a time.
Becks hehe We will be looking at dates again soon so will let you know if its around the same time
Thanks Rach and Jane re the bleeding. Its still around so I guess it wll be for the rest of the week. Ah well, such is life I guess ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived
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Posted By: rachelsea
Date Posted: 15 August 2008 at 4:23pm
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Hey Rianna, I just found this, didn't realise you had a D&C. I'm thankful it's over now for you and you can start healing
I know how you feel about people saying things you don't really need to hear though. After my miscarriage (which incidentally was also at 7w3d) people would say things like "It's nature's way of getting rid of something that wasn't perfect" or "it wasn't meant to be" and that just wasn't what I needed to hear at the time. To answer your bleeding question, I bled for about a week, then had a few days off bleeding, then bled again for another week. Then a week and a half of no bleeding, then it started again for 3 blimmin weeks Then i took vitex which sorted out my body, my next AF was only 5 days and I conceived again that cycle (which was approx 3.5 months since the m/c)
I'm so sorry you've had to go through this and I hope you are feeling better soon, big hugs! ------------- DD 4yrs DS 2yrs http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 15 August 2008 at 10:42pm
Thanks Rach . Yep I agree, and thats all we've been hearing and its so painful lol.... I know people are just trying to be supportive but honestly all we need is a hug and support, and not answers  !
Anyways thank fully, a week later, the bleeding is starting to stop. Today was more spotting than anything so yay, finally! But Ive decided were off to get Vitex tomorrow as Im so over the 2 and a half weeks of bleeding Ive had. And I really wanna get a sticky bubba . So Im gonna do my damn hardest to get what I want  ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 11:25pm
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Big hugs hun, sorry ive only just seen this thread/ I hope you are doing ok **hugs**
I know how you are feeling all too well. it was such a nerve wracking time waiting to find out I if was m/c or not, turns out I was(last july) and when it happened fully I was reliveved that it was happening naturally, but also absolutly gutted and upset at the same time. We are all here for you if you need to vent *hugs** ------------- |