Expectations of DH / DP post baby
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=19949
Printed Date: 07 October 2025 at 10:38am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Expectations of DH / DP post baby
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Subject: Expectations of DH / DP post baby
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 12:11pm
|
I am interested to know if your expectations on your DH / DP changed after you had a child together. Before we had a baby, we were a fairly equal partnership....we had a cleaner, but I had always done the cooking & washing...but he took care of the gardening. We used to split our "social" time 50/50 as well, doing stuff with mutual friends as well as stuff I enjoyed and stuff he enjoyed. We werent worried about being home from work at a set time and would eat out a lot. We also didnt mind if the other one was working late etc. I guess now that I am a SAHM my expectations of DH have changed a little. We no longer have a cleaner, so I am respsonsible for all the housework, cooking, washing etc....I dont ask him to do anything apart from vacuum...which he does once every 3 weeks (if I nag him!!). I do however expect him to try and get home from work before 6, so that he can help with bath / bed time routine, I also expect that on a weekend he makes "family time"....I also expect him to be able to make basic decisions about looking after Oli (like what to feed him, dress him in etc). Did your expectations on each other change a lot after you had a baby? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Replies:
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 12:25pm
|
Interesting how things change isnt it. Dh is good. He does most of the cooking but I do most of the cleaning (except this weekend he is cleaning his little heart out). We pretty much share the care of Tom with it a little skewed towards me. I am responsible for most of Toms appointments and activities but DH will take him if I tell him when and where.
DH can decide what Tom is wearing or eating but I usually set the "guidlines" and let him know where we are up to with eating etc. |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 12:30pm
|
Yes my expections and our plan for who who do what once we had Isla, and what it was like pre-Isla is completely different!
Sam when I read that u expect your DH to make decisions about what to feed/dress Oli,...I cracked up! DH hasnt made one desicion like that ever I dont recall! I would love him too, but its just the way things have worked out. Things changed most when Isla turned one- we moved towns and in DHs new job here he works an extra 1 1/2 hrs per day and also works sat, so thats quite a bit more hours than he was working. He used to be home from work at 3.45pm, and now its 5.15pm,....so now I cook Islas dinner, feed her, cook our dinner -which he used to help with all that, or at least look after her while I did it. When preg we planned that we would share the caring for Islajpy a lot more than what has happened in reality,..also DH wanted to be SAHD,..but now hes like NO WAY- its way easier to work! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 2:52pm
LMAO when Willie dresses the gremlins they appear in some interesting combinations 
I didn't have a partner when I had Maya so I did everything on my own, so when we were TTC the gremlins we did a lot of talking about what I expected him to help with etc. after they were born. In reality things didn't work out that way, but then we didn't expect to have twins or for him to have to take so much time off BEFORE they were born coz I was so sick. Nowadays he is good with the gremlins, his "jobs" are to dress them after I bath them and to do their bedtime routine (put them in their sleep sacks, give them their bottles then put them to bed). While he does that I try and sit with Maya to do her school reading books but atm with Chiara playing up in the evenings that's a bit tricky. The only housework he ever does is the dishes and that is very occasionally! Oh and he cooks a meal here and there. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 2:58pm
| I hope he stays over to help you sometimes Emma |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 3:01pm
|
He is at the moment coz I can't cope on my own, I'm not an octopus. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 09 August 2008 at 3:03pm
|
Yep my expectations at first changed much like you, SimSam. After having #2, he reeeeeally needed to step up! ------------- |