irrational fears???
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=2015
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Topic: irrational fears???
Posted By: Andie
Subject: irrational fears???
Date Posted: 03 April 2006 at 11:51am
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I'm 14 weeks pregnant today... Yaaaayyyy!!! Hallelujah for the 2nd trimester.
For the last couple of weeks, I've been worrying more. I'm naturally a ponderer, but not a real worry-wart, and used to be miss independent and afraid of very, very little. But recently I've worried SO MUCH that something bad could happen to my lovely husband. He barely knows what it's like to worry about anything, and will happily climb up on the roof to fix it, carry on finishing a job before getting the 5 stitches he needs thanks to said job, drive too fast, climb tressles and and perch on spaces so small you have to, well, perch on them to work... and he hasn't come to any major harm. But suddenly I'm WORRYING all the time! It's terrible - I know it's a waste of time and energy and happiness, but it seems he can't get in his car without me giving him a "drive safely" speech (in all reality, I don't know that it is entirely irrational to fear that a man who speeds sometimes could come to or cause harm by accident). I dreaded him taking a 2-hour drive in the weekend in case he crashed, and the other morning when he popped out to quickly get some food and took 30 mins doing so, I'd already had to fend off pictures of being widowed and not knowing what to do with everything. Now at least I know that's rediculous, but I can't seem to stop it happening. What I'm wondering is, do others find that pregnancy has a similar effect? I've been very hormonal/emotional with pregnancy anyway, and that I can understand, but the worrying thing is just entirely destructive. If this is something that's a 'normal' ailment of the delicate condition, something that will pass, then I'll stop worrying about the worrying; but if it's not, then methinks I'd better try to address it asap, so as not to become a total worry-wart of a mother - worrying about things we are powerless over really does rob us of some of our joy! See - I know this, yet I'm still in it. Go figure. I miss by previously brave self and want her back!!! ------------- Andie |
Replies:
Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 03 April 2006 at 12:22pm
| oh i totally know what you mean, my hubby wanted to get his car on the road and start doing track events and i put a big NO on that one coz he is the sole income earner and if something happened to him we would be screwed, i think its a pregnancy thing but its horrid!!! |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 03 April 2006 at 12:28pm
This is my third time pregnant, and I'm worrying too! I'm driving Nat crazy, but he realises that its just a hormonal/emotional thing and I can't really control it... Relax ( just kidding) you are normal!------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 03 April 2006 at 12:33pm
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hmm.... i was like that and to be honest i was worse when my first daughter was actually born. for me personally it has gotten real bad, to the point where i cant drive anymore. the last time i did (sometime mid last year..) i was making a 15 minute drive, and i suddenly started to panic. i had to pull over and make hubby drive the rest of the way.
im thinking mine might be a bit serious so am thinking about counselling, but keep puttng it off. i definatly think some level of panic is normal as we now have other people to think about, but if it gets bad maybe talk to someone (i really should take my own advice...) |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 03 April 2006 at 1:05pm
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Yep, although mine are mostly paranoias that the baby has died or something terrible has happened to baby. Totally irrational, but also totally natural! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 03 April 2006 at 5:13pm
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Sign me up for teh crazy-lady club! My hormones are really out of control, I get so upset and worred at the smallest thing. Whta you are describing is exactly how i feel dont worry! ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 03 April 2006 at 5:21pm
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yup me too, i am also a bit of an overthinker by nature but am a real worrier during pregnancy. i was pretty bad after my daughter arrived too, but i think that was also the natural reaction to becoming comletely responsible for another (tiny and helpless) human being's welfare. now i'm back to fretting everytime DH leaves the house now that i am expecting again. ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 03 April 2006 at 5:25pm
i use to brust into ears thinking i had done something to hurt bub and james is 10 months now and heatly and fine ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: katie1
Date Posted: 03 April 2006 at 6:07pm
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I know exactly how you feel. I worry so much more about something happening to my husband now than I ever used to.
Crazy! |
Posted By: Pisces9
Date Posted: 03 April 2006 at 6:33pm
| I worry about my husband all the time!!. He drives stock trucks. He's always getting injured and it really worries me. The latest was being flipped out of a stock pen by a 800kg steer. I also had a car accident at 8 weeks when a driver turned in front of me. I don't feel comfortable in cars anymore unless I'm driving! |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 03 April 2006 at 6:40pm
Sorry to tell you, but I am still a bit like that now  Sometimes when Daniel is late I get these awful visions of having to bring Hannah up alone and how would I cope without him... I am a bit of a worrier tho  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 03 April 2006 at 6:54pm
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i cant remember if i worried-i dont think so, not during pregnancy at least-odd that cos usually i worry over silly things i cant change.
I remember reading a quote "worry but know that worrying is as effective as studying while watching tv-the real things to concern u are likely to be things u dont even notice that blindside u at 4pm on a tuesday afternoon".... And i thought-thats comforting! NOT!!!! To not worry is to be...dead i guess |
Posted By: deharn
Date Posted: 03 April 2006 at 6:56pm
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I too am a crazy lady, I worry about hubby when he drives alone but probably more when him and I have gone somewhere together without the children!!!! I have a huge fear of what would happen if something happened to us both. Sometimes we fly with only one of the children and that just does my head in.......
So andie welcome to the world of parenthood! It never stops I am sure as I have a 14 year old and a bub. The 14 year old girl brings her own quarry of stress and then my wee one has me worrying about all sorts of illness's, developmental disorders etc etc - all completely irrational but apparently normal mummy fears. |
Posted By: robyn
Date Posted: 03 April 2006 at 7:45pm
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I worry about anything and everything to be honest. If hubby is late home and I cant get hold of him then I start worrying. One of my biggest worries is dying young and not being able to see Kobe grow up. If you think its really bad then talk to your doctor and they can refer you to an anxiety disorder clinic which are really good but general worries like this seems to be common in pregnancy. ------------- KOBE born 19 March 2004 http://www.TickerFactory.com/"> 
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 04 April 2006 at 9:31am
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Thanks, ladies
Good to see it's quite "normal" to worry more about hubby's wellbeing during pregnancy (good prep for spending the rest of my life concerned about our kids, eh! ha ha ha). I guess it kinda highlights things that might have lurked in the back of our minds beforehand, and I suppose I figured that out of all the bad things that could happen to us now, the most likely would be for my husband to have a car or work accident. I think it'll settle down but I see what you mean Deharn, life will never be as carefree (oh why do some brands have to go and ruin perfectly good words for us?!?) again! If it got worse, or didn't evolve into something more reasonable, I'd be seeking help faster than friends could say "I think she's cracked"! Thanks for the reassurance, peoples. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: AnnaD
Date Posted: 04 April 2006 at 12:09pm
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When I was three months pregnant with Quinn, Andy was involved in a car chase (he is a cop) that ended up with the guy pulling over, getting out of his car and attacking Andy and his partner with an axe. This guy smashed the cop car to bits, windows smashed, doors off etc. Both coppers were mostly ok, few grazes and cuts etc but both so lucky. At the time I thought poor Andy, being stuck in a situation like that and ('cause it was a night shift) feeling sorry for him cause he had to work over seventeen hours cause of this guy.
Then Andy's boss offered to have a chat to me and to reassure me if I was scared for him going to work. It wasn't til this point that I thought SH*T, he could've been killed. Then I spent the rest of that pregnancy freaking out every time he was late. It calmed down quite a lot once Quinn was born but I am finding that now I pregnant again I am getting nervous again. I have dreams all the time that he dies (strangely enough most have been him dying of cancer rather than at work?) but it is not cool. I have never been one to worry about things like that but now it is getting crazy! ------------- Anna and Quinn 10 July 2004 www.quinnariki.blogspot.com and one more on the way.... http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 04 April 2006 at 1:34pm
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Ahh pregnancy is full of irrational fears.
Geez, why does anyone do it?!??!?! I'm definitely not having any more kids. |
Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 04 April 2006 at 3:23pm
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Yeah right ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 04 April 2006 at 4:31pm
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i second that one nicki ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 04 April 2006 at 4:33pm
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I'm not having any more either... ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 04 April 2006 at 4:36pm
| haha, i said i wasnt going to have anymore after i had my first... im onto my 3rd now! |