A reason to lie??
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20178
Printed Date: 30 October 2025 at 1:34pm
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Topic: A reason to lie??
Posted By: Genie
Subject: A reason to lie??
Date Posted: 18 August 2008 at 9:22am
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A neighbour of mine, an older lady, offered me a cot which I gratefully accepted. I sent my hubby over to pick it up in the weekend, since she said she's getting a boarder and she needed the space. Now that I've seen it though, I just don't want it. Its a really old one, looks like it probably had her kids in it (they are now adults), and quite dirty/grotty looking. I don't want to offend her, or seem ungrateful. I could paint it, but am already busy struggling to keep working long enough to get the PPL, and just don't have the time or energy, besides it will still be an old cot and I'm not even sure if a new mattress would fit it. What should I do? I don't like to lie, but I don't see many other options. ------------- 
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Replies:
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 18 August 2008 at 9:28am
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Get a new one and sell the old one and tell her you got given the new one? That would probably be the kindest option? Hard situation really! ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 18 August 2008 at 9:31am
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Get the measurements and see if a matress will fit. If it doesn't I would just say I can't get a matress to fit it sorry, and say Thank you very much for the offer. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 18 August 2008 at 9:31am
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Yeah I agree with Alex. Just get a new one and tell her your Mum or someone surprised you with it. Ask if there is anyone else she knows who needs the one she gave you and thank her for the offer.
Its a kind lie and as long as you tell her how much you appreciated her giving it to you I don't see any harm in it. Good luck! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 18 August 2008 at 9:34am
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I hate lying too so in my mind you have two options. Find a valid reason not to use the cot or clean it up and use it.
Have you checked the measurements between bars etc? If it's an old cot it may not actually fit within the NZ safety standards and then you could quite honestly tell her that as your reason for buying a cot instead of using hers. You could also ask a builder to look at the wood the ensure it's still ok and take measurements of the inside of the cot to see if you can get a mattress in that size.
You could also just try cleaning the cot. You may be surprised by how nice it looks once it's cleaned and made up with a new mattress and some nice bed linen. Cot mattresses come in lots of different sizes so if there's nothing actually wrong with the cot you could save yourself a few hundred dollars. Plus IMO often older wood items are built better than the highly manufactured ones we can buy nowadays.
I understand what you mean by not having the energy to DIY, I worked until about 8 hours before I gave birth and I had no energy for extra projects either. Why not as a "baby shower" you get friends to come over and help you do a bit of DIY sorting out the cot and any other little projects you'd like to do for the baby's room. Afterwards you can order in pizza and a few bottles of wine and sparkling grape juice to thank them. I think that would be quite fun. -------------  
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 18 August 2008 at 9:37am
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I wouldn't use it personally, it may be painted with lead based paint if its that old, plus the gaps in the bars might not be the right size either.
I was given a change table when pregnant with Spencer and when I picked it up it was gross, I cleaned it but it still was bad so I got rid of it (Dh is using it as shelves in the garage) and just didn't tell them. Is she likely to come over and see you aren't using it? Edited to add, that I didn't actually lie, I just choose not to tell them we weren't using it. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Genie
Date Posted: 18 August 2008 at 10:32am
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Well I've been out and about looking at the sizes of mattresses, and without travelling into Nelson I can't get one to fit. I'm really leaning towards buying a new cot and telling a white lie about where it came from and asking what she would like me to do with the other one. Feels a bit naughty but I'm just not happy about using it. Thanks for all the replies, it helps to know others would do something similar. :) -------------
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Posted By: sadie
Date Posted: 18 August 2008 at 10:41am
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I'm with the others. I would just say to her that you are ever so grateful, but your mum (or someone) has surprised you with buying you a brand new one as a present. Maybe suggest she donates it to Womens Refuge or the Sallys?
They spend so much time in their cots that it is something that you should be really happy with, and confident of it's safety. |
Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 18 August 2008 at 10:51am
We were given an older style one from my parents, and Lucy used it and it was fine. We haven't bothered to check the gap between the bars!  Both my babies have turned out fine by using an older style cot.------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: hooper
Date Posted: 18 August 2008 at 11:37am
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we got given one when i had dd, but it is to small and i did'nt really like it gave it to savemart at least someone else could use it. got a new one. ------------- Desiree 
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 18 August 2008 at 10:17pm
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Perosnally I wouldnt use it Either. Not when they spend the majority of their time in it.
If it were me I'd take it back to her, thanking her for the kind gesture and thought but telling her you cant find a matress to fit. I'd also suggest taking it to sally's or somewhere similar. ------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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