hhhhhm some help and advice please/vent
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Topic: hhhhhm some help and advice please/vent
Posted By: worried
Subject: hhhhhm some help and advice please/vent
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:00pm
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Ok, so, a fair few of you will probably pretty much guess who i am right away. I have always thought that anon posts were a bit annoying till now. but i need help here.
My younger sister has 4 kids, 2 of which are not in her custody. My mother has 1 of them. She has a 1 yr old and a new baby, and is well known to CYFs etc. I am worried, my whole family is worried. My mum just rung me tonight and is at a loss too. She needs help, she is paranoid, she won't even let her 1 yr old climb up to stand against furniture. If he does it she tells him off and lies him back down on the ground on his back, she won't let her partner get a job because "that means i'll be alone" she goes out everywhere with him, sometimes leaving the house at the start of the day and not returning until well after dark with the kids in buggies or carseats all day. She has always been abusive, to the point of abusing my mum, punching holes in walls, threatening with knives. She gets in rages really quickly and is really abusive. I have always had the sneaking suspicion that she may be bi-polar or schizophrenic (her father is). I feel so bad for the kids. They are always filthy, crying, she buys 1 small pack of nappies to last the week so the kids are always in wringing wet naps. The partner does all the care for the 1 yr old, but he is still not terribly well cared for, although much better so than the baby. The baby today when i was at mums she came round, i picked him up and the first thing i did was go get a facecloth and clean him up, he had thick black grime caked on his hands, his fingernails looked like a kids who had been playing in the sandbox (how the hell does a 2mth old get nails like that?!) his neck folds and behind his ears were red raw and smelly, his face was covered in what looked like old milk from sick ups, my sister asked me if milk powder can give them thrush i told her no, aparently he's seen the doc and has meds but the treatment isn't working - he has it in his mouth and on his bottom, i told her she needs to be more stirct about keeping clean since i only ever have seen her using the 1 bottle i strongly suspect that's the only bottle she has and i doubt that she has sterilising gear or that she'd use it even if she did. She doesn't pay any attention to him at all, to the point where he cried today, i told her he's hungry, she said she'd get a bottle for him, and went outside to the buggy. I ended up going out 15 minutes later and reminding her cos she was sitting there having a smoke! Usually i always see her just shove a dummy in his mouth, she only feeds him if someone else ends up getting the bottle. Further to this my mum rung me tonight, and told me what happened after we left. Her partner had gone off with his mates leaving my sis and the kids with mum, my sister spent the whole time obsessively texting and making cell phone calls for the better part of 4 hours, didn't do a thing with the kids. Mum had to feed the baby because she obviously wouldn't do it. when he finally came back they proceeded to walk home with the kids, well after dark, in the cold, no jackets or covers for the kids on the buggies. Mum has told the partner about what had happened and he told her that he's giving my sister a week then he is leaving as she is smothering him and she does nothing, the house is filthy and he cannot handle it anymore. If he goes he said he'll take the 1 yr old. Now i am worried about that too , but not as worried as i am about the baby. He told mum that she now expects him to do everything for the baby too (which is about right, she is manipulative) to the point of telling him to get up and feed him at night, if he asks her to since he's doing the 1 yr olds things, she says "oh well, i guess if you don't feed him then he stays hungry" and she'll go back to sleep. Mum also said that indeed the baby looks like it's worse than thrush with crusted sores from the waist point of his nappy all the way down the front and back up the back. he has the most nasty cough which apparently the doctor said is nothing (i am sure if a doc heard it they would not say that!). Mum said she too is very worried, about the kids and about my sister, she wants my sister to seek help or go through MMH or something. She said "oh, I will get hold of her plunket nurse and see if she can go and have a wee check in on her tomorrow and have a look at the baby". to which i told her that wasn't really the role of the plunket nurse to go check cos a family member has asked them to. I told her she needs to ring the accross people who are keeping a watch on my sister. she said "oh but her worker is going away on holiday next week" to which i told her that if someone doesn't do something about it soon then i would ring and let them know. I feel so torn, well not really, cos i know that she is not being a mum, she needs help, and the kids need a far better, healthier environment in which to grow up. she is not taking care of them. Help me. I so just want to ring and "dob" her in, she needs help, I can't stand to see her kids this way, i can't stand to see such a beautiful wee bubby neglected like that. There's still some stupid part of me saying "this is wrong, this is your sister" . I guess i'm looking for people to tell me that what i want to do is right even though i know in my heart it is.   . I need to do something, i can't just watch this happen.
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Replies:
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:09pm
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Oh my gosh, I am really stumped for words That is so so so sad, those poor kiddies.
Hun....those kids need to be taken away from her...she's neglecting them so badly, I cant imagine ever treating caden like that. I think you definitly need to do something, heartbreaking as it is with her being your sister and all what she is doing is disgusting 
I feel so sorry for you being in this position **hugs** Ive even got stingy eyes thinking about the poor baby with sores and being so dirty
Big hugs  ------------- |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:09pm
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WTF? Give me the details and I will dob her in!
Poor bubbas ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:09pm
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Dob dob dob!
I know it is heartbreaking, and I can only imagine how much you are hurting over it all right now - but it *definitely* needs to be done. HUGE hugs from me to you hun, it sounds like you are really the one with the conscience here - I can't believe how she treats those poor helpless kids
This might be a stretch - but would you have room to temporarily care for the youngest? Would she let you? ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:11pm
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Mmmm i agree with pearls, could you possibly look after the baby for a while, the poor thing needs some serious love and tlc ------------- |
Posted By: kriss
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:16pm
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my goodness, this is heartbreaking.. its a tricky situation as she is your sister, but at the end of the day those kids aren't being cared for appropriately and need... more! on an emotional level as well as physical care ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
 Little Angel, April 10
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Posted By: worried
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:17pm
| I seriously would love to, but i work full time, and my partner would not hear of it as he too is busy. Plus having lost a bub myself last year i don't think that it would be good to get emotionally attached to this wee man. I feel that i already have gotten waaaaaay too clucky and protective over him. probably rightly so. I think that's what scares me is what would happen to him, where would he go if he was taken away? |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:18pm
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Hey. you have to. you know you do. I know that from the past history things are going to hit the fan so to speak, but you have to. those kids have got NO ONE looking after them. no one is there to speak up for them, and who knows what she is doing (or not doing) when there is no-one to see.
from your situation, this must be particulary heartbreaking...big big hugs hun. |
Posted By: Leelee
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:19pm
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OMG those poor babies, they deserve better than that
I would definitely ring and dob her in, but what an awful situation for you to be in. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:20pm
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I think though, in a way it is good that you have that bond over him - sounds like something his mother is sorely lacking!
So if you can't take care of him full time (understandably), just use that attachment to fuel your efforts to sort out a better situation for him, or at least do what you can. I reckon you are stronger than you think, and you are doing the best thing for your family by wanting to get involved. ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:22pm
| there are loads of loving parents out there who would foster or adopt and make a loving home. Most communicate with the family and there is still involvement if wanted. we hear bad foster stories, but i know several in our area where the people are just wonderful. |
Posted By: kriss
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:23pm
i agree with lizzle, thats the other thing... you probably only see a portion of what is happening, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors..  for the kids' sake, do what is right
hugs to you ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
Little Angel, April 10
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:24pm
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How awful for you! You know in your heart what is best and yet you are still feeling a bit of guilt because she is your sister. The important thing to do is to protect the ones that can't look after themselves. Those kids need a loving home and at the very least they need to be cared for in a warm clean environment. You NEED to contact CYFS and have them removed. Right now, after reading your post, I'm ready to drive up there and remove them and care for them myself, poor wee darlings. I can't imagine it's easy for you but you have to put those littlies first because they can't fend for themselves. Sometimes the old saying "it takes a village to raise a child" ring true - this is one of those times.
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:43pm
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Chick after reading about her before and now reading this I don't think you need us to tell you what to do, I think it's pretty clear what needs to be done. She is neglecting and abusing her children by treating them like that.
There are plenty of families that would do a much better job loving and caring for those children than she is obviously doing. I would call CYFS myself if I knew where she lived. |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:54pm
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I've read your OP 3 times now and I really think you need to make the call.
I know if it were me, I just couldn't live with myself, knowing what the kids were going through. I agree with Liz too, without making assumptions or jumping to conclusions, if things are so undeniably bad on the outside, what about when she's on her own with them without people to remind her what she needs to be doing? It must be so upsetting for you, being so torn, but to me it really sounds like you need to be the one who stands up for these kids before things get any worse. Big hugs to you xxxxxxx ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 9:58pm
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Man if that was my sister i would have no hesitation in walking in there taking both kids givin her a kick up the ass and walkin out possibly on the phone to somewhere to have her committed. She obviously needs help and doesnt realise it and you and the rest of your family should be pulling together to do something about it. In the experiences ive had with CFYS (not involving me) they are useless unless hounded. At least if you or your mum or someone can take her kids for a few nights until another arrangement can be made thats a few more nights they arent living a neglected life they dont deserve.
Sorry if i sound like a cold hearted cow but my sister would come second to the poor defenceless children -------------   
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 10:02pm
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If you dont wanna be the one to do it ask someone else to make the call there are plenty of us who are willing to
I am really sorry you are going thru this and hugs to you (yeah i feel bad i sound like im a real b_tch in the last post it just upset me reading bout the kiddies) -------------
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 10:18pm
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oh man chick , big hugs hun , i know who you are (yeah , your new name didnt fool me ) and i've always thought you were one of the most mature, sensible down to earth people on this forum , that has nothing to do with what you need to do, just wanted to let you know, for when your really doubting yourself or think that you are horrible, , your'e really in a rock and a hard place
You know what you need to do , but i can imagine its so hard, its your sister afterall ...but , those are your nephews , and seems you are the only one who has any power to do anything about it , think of all those cases we hear of abused neglected kids, if only they had had someone like you to speak up for them. Huge hugs hun , this is a horrible situation for you
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Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 10:18pm
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Firstly, bug hugs to you and your family. This must be an awful thing to watch happening. I think that you know what the right thing to do is, but I guess I would also be trying to come up with a solution within the family in terms of care for the children. It would break my heart if my nephew got put into foster care with strangers (not that he ever would...but YKWIM), and I think that if I were in your shoes I would feel a lot happier about having the children stay within the family. I know that there are some great foster families out there, but I guess its just the way I feel about it. The situation breaks my heart, and I think that your sister really needs help, I think that there are lots of agencies that you can contact MMH, Plunket, CYFs, I guess you just need to make that call or get someone to do it for you. Hang in there, it must be awful for you...I hope that you and your mum and other family can support each other through this. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: BaAsKa
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 10:22pm
oh god!! you definately need to dob her in! that is full on neglect!! and that makes me feel like bawling my eyes out thinking about those poor neglected beautiful kids! that is soooooo terrible how unclean that poor bub is, and not feeding it!! it sounds harsh but if they are left there something serious may happen to them
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Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 10:32pm
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You need to get your sister and her children some help fast. It's not dobbing, it's helping. She needs professional support that can be 100% committed to her, not well meaning family who already have their own issues to manage.
If you don't help her and something happens to her or the kids you'd feel a lot worse. Get her some help, for all of your sakes. to you------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
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Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 21 August 2008 at 11:35pm
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How awful for you! Those poor kiddies I agree whole heartedly with everyone else- don't think of it as 'dobbing her in', you're helping your nephews. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 6:36am
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hun i know its hard but you have to do whats right for the babies i know you are a great mum and this must be breacking your hreat big big hugs hun ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 8:03am
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I can understand how torn you feel but I think it really has got to the stage where the authorities need to step in. I'm sure that if they go into foster care you and the rest of your family could still have contact with the children. If the dad is serious about leaving then perhaps he would get full custody and with some help and support would do right by them. It does sound like its not just the children that need help but your sister also and perhaps this kind of intervention is the only type that we also get her the help she needs. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: LizzyJ
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 8:19am
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Hi
I am the child of a bi polar mun not on medication, I think you know what you need to do, we came from a very wealthy family so my father employed a full time nanny for 8 years to keep me safe and for the most part it worked, however it took me years to work through all the emotional baggage that comes with that kind of relationship with your mother. only in the last 5 years have we started talking about the things that my mother did and some of my aunties are horrofied, they literally had no idea of the emotional stuff. My mother is one of the most manipulating people i know, very good at emotional blackmail and guilt tripping and the older the childern get the more damaging that is going to get. Stay strong but put the children first. The hardest day i had was when one of my aunties said to me "oh yes we knew your mother was doing that" about a specific event, and yet they did nothing. Its a horrible position to be in, but from the childs side step in before it gets worse, and it does. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 9:32am
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I had to go away and think about this one, and the girls are right, you need to go with your gut on this one and help those poor children.
From your OP I'd say that she definitely needs some help, whether or not she accepts it is another story. I also got the impression that she seems to think that she isn't doing anything wrong, and her way is the right way, which clearly it isn't. My initial thought was "why can't you take the kids for awhile?" but I also understand what a huge change that would be for your children and partner and of course yourself. Some urgent intervention is needed ASAP, and those children need to taken away from her, and the "powers that be" need to be made aware of what is going on. This must be so hard for you and your mother to see what these kids are going through. Help them and fast! ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 9:32am
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Holy hell. Sorry I didn't read the rest of the posts and if I didn't know some of the history I'd probably be more lenient but freeeeeeeeeeakerooni. She CAN NOT take care of those children. And I think she's proven time and time again that she can't even take care of herself!
I say call CYFS. Is there anyone in the family that is prepared to take care of the kids because I assume that CYFS would be more likely to take option if there is a plan already available that has the interests of the children at heart. Ya know? Oh man. This sucks. I would drive up there and care for those kiddos in a second if I could!! xoxoxoxo |
Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 9:38am
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I agree with everyone else, its the kids you need to look out for and I dont think they are being taken care of properly. I would definitely be calling. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 10:18am
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Yes please do it. -------------  
 
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Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 10:29am
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It makes my heart break to think of what those babies are going through . It is neglect. And yeah I'd say especially because of the history, you need to do something about it.
It also makes me wanna cry thinking about how you must feel and having to personally deal with it all, and make the decision. I think you need to do something though... but I think you know that too. Thinking of you ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 10:29am
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I think you already know the answer..... I think you should'dob' her in. But thats not a nice way to look at it - what you are doing is making sure those babies don't end up another statistic!
Please phone cyps or who ever you need to to make sure those babies are going to be seen to. (and taken away) Your sister definately needs helps - which is a hard one cause nothing will happen till she realises she needs help. 's hun though as I know this is not the first time nor probably the last.....------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: My3Sons
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 11:39am
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what a horrid position for you to be in! ------------- Mum to Mr 10, Mr 6 and Mr 4
 
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 11:50am
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Holly......DO IT! You know thats the right thing to do! I would hate to think that sme thing will happen to those poor babies if she continues this way.....please please DO IT!
If not give me details and I will...... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 12:13pm
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I hope that you have already let them know.
I wouldn't hesitate to do it if it were me reason being faced with the choice of dobbing my sister in and feeling guilt over that vs that poor bubba getting very sick or worst case dying, there just isn't a choice there IMO If the little ones can be removed from her care they have a chance at growing up to be normal healthy happy little kids. The longer they stay in her care the more likely they are to get sick and be very screwed up in later life because they haven't been given the things they need. Sorry if that in any way sounds harsh but its the way I would look at it. I doubt you would hesitate if they were being abused physically (beaten), what's shes doing now is the same thing, it's still abuse and serious neglect. |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 12:26pm
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Yep absolutely you need to call CYPFS. It's not like she'll never see them again if you dob her in, the kids need a better upbringing than that as you know. Either the dob-in will make her wake up and parent properly, or the kids will be put in foster care and she will have contact - she will still have contact with them and it's likely that you will as well.
Go on, I know it's heartbreaking but you need to do it for the kids' sake. ------------- |
Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 1:14pm
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I think you know the answer to this one but don't think of it as dobbing in your sister think of it as saving your neices/nephews. Everyone in this situation needs help here and if no one else close willd o it you need to be the bigger person and do it for them.
BUT you are going to need the strength and courage to do that so I am sending you that in truckloads ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: DJ
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 2:00pm
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Obviously the health and safety of the kids is v. important, but I'm thinking your sister also needs urgent mental health care. Will taking her children away (again) not send her into a worse situation? If she is bi-polar, this is often able to be well managed with the right medication. Is it possible for you mother to take more care of the kids and get your sister some help so that she might be able to look after her kids better in the long run? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 3:13pm
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We can't assume that the children will be removed... they may not be, but help is there to be had either way, and it's needed!
...PM time!! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 5:16pm
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I really feel for you chick , and as none of us are in your shoes atm , none of us can say what we would do , yes we can say we would definetly call etc, and hopefully we would...but its very easy to say when you arent in the situation yourself .( i would put that last part in italics but i dont know how)
If it was that easy doing it, im sure she would have done it by now , the fact she asked our advice means she (worried) has some fears about it. Im sorry , i know, when you read things like that of course you want to scream and rave....but main thing we need to do is give worried as much support as she can , not "i would do it if it were me" cos its her, not you , and hopefully we can give her enough strength to make the call, cos im sure as hell glad im not in her shoes. |
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 6:46pm
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All the ladies are right. Yes she is your sister, but these are helpless children you're talking about, and if we as adults dont stand up and be advocates for them, then no one is. I now how hard it is, I have an older sister with three children, who is 30 years old and who still thinks she's a teenager. On several occasions my parents have taken on custody of her two oldest children, and when she seems to be capable of looking after them again they've given her the benefit of the doubt and allowed her to have them again.Which is hard because my sister and the kids live about 5 hours away from my parents and so are bouncing between schools sometimes. She now has an 8 month old daughter, and yet she is still the same. She is into P and the gang scene, she left my baby neice home alone crying her eyes out on the floor, the neighbours heard her, took her home and called cyfs...the older two were on holiday at my other sister's. Now all three kids are with the other older sister. So yes my sister and those children are no strangers to cyfs. and my family have no hesitations when it comes to those children's wellbeings. It's just so sad they have to go through this, but as a family we try and do what we can for them. ------------- 
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 8:17pm
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so I was wondering what you decided to do??? Not an easy choice but one that needs to be made. We are all here for you ------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 10:00pm
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Firstly I would like to give you a BIG . This is an awful situation to be in and I just feel like crying. You have been brave posting this thread and already know the answer.
You need to call either CYFS/MMH/Plunket /police asap if you haven't already. These babies need help. They can't get themselves out of this situation. You are not dobbing your sister in, you are helping these babies. How bad would you feel if something drastic happened to them and they were in tomorrow news. Your sister doesn't need to know you made the call. If you really can't do it you can PM me or anyone else on this thread the details and we can do it for you. DH is a policeman and has this to add: You need to step in now as the kids are still developing. The longer this is left the more problems there will be down the track. You have the power to stop this abuse which will be affecting their mental and physical wellbeing. These problems will magnify as they grow older and could in turn lead them to become abusive to their own children or it could also possibly inhibit their behaviour to the extent they become psychotic/suicidal when they are adults. You MUST NOT feel like you are dobbing your sister in. What you are doing is in fact trying to effect a positive outcome for the future of your niece/nephew. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 10:13pm
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OMG hun big hugs to you!!!
i REALLY seriously think that your sis needs hhelp! as much as you love her something needs to be done do you know who her gp is?? perhaps you could ring her gp and have a caht tell them whats up (of course the gp wont be able to tell you anything due to patient confidentially) but at least then her doc will have a heads up. or ring the doc tell them whats been happening and make a appointment for her, then tell your sis your taking the baby to the doc for a check and take your sis too so the doc can check her out.? is their any other family member that can help perhaps look after the kids?? i havnt clicked who you are yet (duh brains not working) but ill do it if you live in the same town as me! poor bubs not off to a good start in life and poor you! as much as it hurts something has to be done ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 11:41pm
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Hey there guys - thankies for all the help. Mum sorted it out this morning without me having to. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 11:41pm
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god that was stupid, so much for Anon. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 22 August 2008 at 11:57pm
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I'm glad its all sorted chick, must be a big load off for you.
Fingers crossed things only get better for your sis and most importantly her kids from here on in. Also, if you want to, I'm sure admin will remove your posts above for you if you PM? ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and:
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Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 23 August 2008 at 7:10am
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That must be a huge relief. Im glad it is off your shoulders now hun.
I sorry if you think my post was a bit heavy but I am sooo against child abuse/neglect. NZ has one of the highest rates of child abuse in the world and I believe it is because people ignore the warning signs or don't intervene to break the cycle. All the best
------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 23 August 2008 at 8:07am
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ok i see its done....and that is same as what i would have said to do.....
there are plenty of wonderful caregivers out there for under 3 year old kids in care....and i would push for that to occur and to ensure that the family still has contact or offers respite care for the kids....i dont see how any of you could or should take on these kids.....your mum will be torn but so long as there are options for the kids to see family hang in there as support for them and for your sister to get theehelp she clearly needs..... |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 23 August 2008 at 8:42am
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LOl Janine I think most of us knew anyhow - glad your mum did something. Not an easy situation to be in ------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: Phat_Cat
Date Posted: 23 August 2008 at 10:22am
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thank goodness that its sorted and that your mum did it janine - theres no need for you to feel guilty. I hope a long term solution for all involved can be found and that you and your family are able to stay in contact with the children. I believe that this is important as when they get older they dont feel that they were abandoned and unloved but that you all acted in the best interests of the children.
Good luck with it hun and you are an awesome person for caring so much and wanting to do something about it. ------------- Tristen - 24/06/07 Rylan - 11/12/08 Angel Babies -14/08/05 & 21/01/2010 Curtis - 26/02/12 |
Posted By: Phat_Cat
Date Posted: 23 August 2008 at 10:23am
oh and enjoy the upcoming wedding hope you have a lovely day you deserve it  ------------- Tristen - 24/06/07 Rylan - 11/12/08 Angel Babies -14/08/05 & 21/01/2010 Curtis - 26/02/12 |
Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 23 August 2008 at 11:27am
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Yes dont feel guilty janine
and big hugs |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 24 August 2008 at 8:03pm
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Good it has been sorted, but is it just a quick fix (and this happens again soon) or been fixed properly. And I can't believe they won't tie her tubes. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 25 August 2008 at 10:53pm
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So has your mum got the kiddos or is someone going round to check out the situation?
Much love to ya lady... hard spot to be in. xoxo |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 25 August 2008 at 11:59pm
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they did ties her tubes with her last one thank goodness.
All i know is someone was going round to check. Mum can't cope with any more than the 1st kiddo - he's currently in the process of investigation as to whether he's got aspergers ir if it's actually foetal alcohol syndrome so he's a mad handful anyway (I couldn't handle taking care of him for more than a day!) ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja
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