What if they like the same name?
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Forum Name: General Chat
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Topic: What if they like the same name?
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Subject: What if they like the same name?
Date Posted: 01 September 2008 at 10:32pm
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Ok so we just found out that SIL (Dh's brothers wife) is pg! We are really happy for them, but still a bit sensitive for us.
Anyways, we randomly started taking about names and it appears that she likes the same boys name as us  just with a different spelling!!
So if she has a boy, they may use this name. Normally this wouldnt have bothered me and we would have thought of another name but its the only boy's name Dh and I have managed to agree on . Has anyone been in this position??? What did you do?? ------------- Our Angel July 08  Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Replies:
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 01 September 2008 at 11:08pm
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Kinda. I have an Andrew John. When I had him I knew someone was that was pregnant at the same time. We had never discussed names at all. Turns out she was going to call her boy Andrew, but as I did she didn't. Anyway she had her 2nd boy in 2006 and she called him Andrew John. She was told by a lot of people that she was silly for calling her boy the same as someone she knew but she said she was having that name no matter what. Now I don't see her all that much (it has been over a year since I have seen her) I don't care all that much about it. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 12:38am
I can see how that is tough for you 
Have you ever mentioned to them that its the name you've chosen? If so, then its a bit rude of them and hopefully they'll realise that. But if they didn't know it was "your" name, then I guess they have just as much right to it as you. I would maybe mention at some stage that its a name you are thinking of using, so that if for some reason they don't end up using it, you could without it seeming like you got the idea from them. Hard one. With any luck, they have a daughter!  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 1:09am
To be totally honest I wouldn't worry about it at the moment. Most people change their minds about names numerous times! You may change your mind or they may or you may both wind up having girls 
DH wanted a name before I even fell pregnant- SIL knew and told him if she had a boy she was using it. We were really annoyed, then she had a girl so its was no big deal- but I was still a bit annoyed that she was planning on using it even though she knew DH wanted it. By the time I was due with DD1 though- we had both well and truly gone off the name so wouldn't have used it anyway. ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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Posted By: Bombshell
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 4:03am
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similar.....Ellas name if she was to be a boy was Jack Thomas - to honour one of DHs grandparents and Jack for a name we both liked. BIL and SIL are unlikely to have kids (she has a 13 year old) but they knew our names.....well a few months ago they got a puppy and called it JACK!!!! I am SOOOO not calling any future child by the name being used for a dog in the immediate family.
I still think they used "our name" to be spiteful...they are kinda jealous people like that. If you really love the name use it anyways. If not then look into other special names...and who knows maybe they wont use it...maybe they are just trying to be spiteful and know you like the name? |
Posted By: Cassie
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 7:50am
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my SIL used the only name we could agree on for a boy as well, and to be honest it really doesn't phase me. We weren't pregnant at the time and like others have said, this one could be a girl, and there will be other names we can come to agree on. Every chance that even if it is a boy he won't look like Jacob anyways! lol
If you're really worried about it maybe you could talk to them about it? ------------- ~Cassie~   
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 8:27am
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Maybe you could mention it to her, that that's the one boy's name you've agreed on? My sis has a girl's name chosen that she's had in mind for years, and I wouldn't use that (she was even angry when my FIL named his puppy that! LOL), just as she wouldn't use the boys name I've had chosen for years. But don't fret about it too much - these things have a way of changing sometimes. ------------- Andie |
Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 8:39am
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My SIL mentioned a name she liked for a girl that we wanted. I said we really liked that name and had thought of that too.
My SIL is the type of person who would call their child that because we wanted to. Anyway, I never bought it up again and they eventually changed their mind. It so happens they went on to have two boys!
And...we had a boy too so neither of us have used that name.....yet ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: ohanlon82
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 8:46am
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Yip i had two very close friends preggie at the same time... And 1 was 1 month further along than the other...
So these two couples went away at new years both being 4 and 5 month preggie - talking away and the one that is 4 month preggie said this is what we are calling our little girl (they both having girls) and the 5 month said WOW what a great name Well DH about 2 month later went around to the 5 month house and they had done the baby room up they took him in to see and the name was on the door - she was like did you see that and he said yes she said please keep it a sercret cause this is a name we have had picked out for years.. DH already knew the name of the other little girl coming along so we wait 1st friend was due and named there baby that name and the other couple were about 1 month off they were gob smacked but in the end name there little girl the same - so makes them look like the bad ones... nearlly 2 years on they are all kind of over it ------------- http://lb2f.lilypie.com/TikiPic.php/RPaODBg.jpg |
Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 8:51am
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you could mention to her that it's the only name you two have agreedo n, but in the end you can't "bags" a name. So maybe explain to her that .. well, she can go ahead and use it, as long as she knows that chances are if you have a boy you too will be using that name. ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: surfergirl
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 9:18am
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This reminds me of the Friends episode...
I don't know what I'd do...thankfully I like such odd names that most of my friends/family aren't fans of anything I like. Perhaps just be honest about it and if you can't agree then both use the name. I wasn't that odd to have cousins with the same names (William, John etc) all that long ago. And nicknames change things too. Good luck! ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 9:45am
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We went into negotiation! My sister was due 3 months before me and we had a "what are your top 5 names" conversation. Turns out that Daniel was her #2 name - it was our only boy's name! I ended up saying "these are the names we're thinking of" - Daniel for a boy and Elia for a girl. Turns out that she was thinking Eliza for a girl (family name). She ended up calling their girl a different name. I feel guilty that she might have changed names cos Elia and Eliza were similar, but I don't really know! She had a similar conversation with her BIL when her first was born, as he was expecting a baby a few months later!
We have another boy in coffee group called Daniel. I briefly wondered about not using Daniel, but decided it didn't really matter! ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: DJ
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 9:54am
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Naming your child is a really personal thing and I think you just know what the "right" name is (eventually). If you love a name, and it is the "right" one for your baby to be, I'd stick to my guns and use it - once you know the "right" name, you won't be satisfied with anything else. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 10:05am
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My SIL asked our permission for their name for their DS2 before I was even pregnant because she knew I liked the first name and the middle name is my DH's. I had taken the first name off my list anyway because it's too popular and I didn't want anything 'top 10'.
Then when I was in hospital the night after having JJ, I was sharing a room with a girl who'd also had a boy. I asked what they'd called their boy and they said they hadn't decided yet and asked after ours, and when I said "Jeremy John" they both went "ohhh Jeremy! I love that!" So I said they were welcome to use it, it's not like we're likely to see them again! ------------- 
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 12:20pm
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My SIL and I had the name conversation a long time ago, and I said if we were to ever have another boy then we'd name him Xavier.
Well, about 3 months ago they got a kitten, and helloooooooo Xavier the cat!!!! |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 12:26pm
LOL this happened to me and I won 
Years ago when Maya was a baby there was a lady on the Huggies site who called her baby Eilish Sienna and I really loved the name Sienna so it was in the back of my mind. When I was preg with the gremlins Willie named Mercedes and I had to choose Sienna's name. I had a friend who had "baggsed" the name for her next daughter and I knew she would lose the plot if I used it, but no matter how many baby name books I read I kept coming back to the same name, she just FELT like a Sienna. I should mention that at the time my friend was single, not pregnant and not planning to be any time soon so there was a good chance she might a) not ever have another baby b) have a boy next time or c) that her new partner might hate the name and she wouldn't end up using it. So I decided that coz I WAS pregnant, and I WAS having a girl and my partner DID like it that I would go with it. And I did. And my 'friend' hasn't spoken to me since I told her when I was about 6 mths pregnant with them. I should point out too that I never said she couldn't use the name just coz I did, I have no issues with that, but apparently it wouldn't be 'special' for her coz I used it. For Heaven's sake, she's not the only Sienna in the world! When I picked their middle names I wanted to make Jayde one of Sienna's and I have a friend with a Jayde so I asked her first and she was stoked, esp since I ended up using the same spelling she'd use. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 4:08pm
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You may hate me for this but...
Who gives a sh*t? Cousins with the same name... it doesn't really matter. Especially if they are going to be different ages. I had a really good friend with the same name as me and we just used different nick names. Apart from that, they may change their mind... you may change yours... they may have a girl... you may have a girl. I'm so sorry... the whole bagsing names thing just seems so ridiculous to me. |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 4:20pm
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I never mentioned names to sil because she was pregnant first and so didnt want to bags any - also we knew what we were having but didn't tell anyone so didn't want to give it away (having said that rhyley could be male or female) she did use a middle name I momenterely thought of but wasn't bothered as went off it.
A friend of mine got a dog and was going to call it Charlie, then she remember if I had another baby and it was a girl i wanted to call her Charleigh so she didn't call the dog it (Nice of her  )------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 4:21pm
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Perhaps you just need to say - you were thinking of that name if/when you have a baby and would she mind if you 'bagged' that name. Also like the top 5 names someone did on here - maybe do that ------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 4:41pm
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Yah I am kinda with Nikki here...who cares if cousins end up with the same name? years ago there were JOHN, JOHN SR and JOHN Jr....all in the same family!!??
I guess I have never been in that position so I dont know....Indians have many variety of names and lucky for me no one ever though of Zaara and I dont think there will be many Zaara's in either side of family. I havnt chosen a name for this one yet as I dont know what we are having....and once I have chosen I am not telling any one...I dont care if my SIL and I end up with the same name (She is due three days before me)....because if I like a name (And DH and I dont like many) we will name our baby that and thats that! Just wait and see.....she might end up with a girl!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 6:06pm
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I have a cousin who was named kinda after me, her mum really liked my name and so used it as well.
No biggie, we have a lot of cousins named after older family members grandparents etc so some of the same names get recycled through the family. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 7:39pm
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Here's my thoughts:
Do you spend a lot of time with them and envisage that you'll continue to do so as little families? Or will you mostly meet up for birthdays and Christmases only? Do they have the same last name as you? When will they find out what gender they are having, will it be in enough time for you to leave the whole issue until then? I kinda think that it won't matter. If that's the "right" name for you guys, go ahead and use it. If it gets confusing later on as he gets older, you can always switch to his middle name if you really have to. I have a Hannah, it's a very common name and although my girls have only two cousins (not called Hannah) we come across other Hannah's at kindy etc. The kids are getting to know each other, when needed, as Hannah S and Hannah A, etc. ------------- |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 9:28pm
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At the end of the day, and no offence intended, you can't "bags" a name. No one "owns" a name and you can't have any control over who uses what names. It does suck and it does smack of the girl in your class at high school who copyed all your outfits and haircuts, but there isn't really much you can do about it.
BTW my brother has a jack and we have jake and we spend alot of time together, it does get a bit confuzzling, but they tend to know who is beign spoken to. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 02 September 2008 at 10:34pm
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Thanks everyone. Im pleased I asked as I was pondering over it for a few days now and it was driving me crazy, you've all been a great help . I dunno why, cos there is a high chance they will change their minds anyways but I've loved this name since forever!
DH and I had a chat about it (again lol) and we've come to the conclusion that we will stick to our guns for now, as we cant really 'bags' a name and we dont want to do that and seem selfish. If it happens that they have a boy and we do to (once I fall pg that is) then I've just got my fingers crossed they have changed their minds
Thanks ladies, much appreciated  ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived
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