Day sleeps
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20842
Printed Date: 12 September 2025 at 9:00am
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Topic: Day sleeps
Posted By: fire_engine
Subject: Day sleeps
Date Posted: 11 September 2008 at 6:41pm
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OK, we've got night sleeping more or less going OK, but daytime sleeps are deteriorating. Daniel tends to wake at 7-8ish for a feed - feeds quickly and goes straight back to sleep (as though it's a night feed), then wakes at 10ish. After 10, he's up, feeds, plays, tops up and then I put him to bed. Then the fun starts. He will usually lie there for about 5 minutes then start crying, and if I leave him for 10 minutes (which is what we used to do), he ends up so hot and sweaty I have to pick him up and cool him down. This can happen 5-6 times before he goes to sleep, or he will doze off, then wake after 10 minutes and cry really loud and it's now happening with every day time sleep. It can take up to 1 1/2 hours to get him to go to sleep, then he always wakes after 45 minutes and won't go back to sleep. I know he's tired, and very quickly gets overtired which makes the cycle worse. It's now driving me to tears and I dread him waking up cos I know we're going to have this battle. He will *usually* but not always sleep if I rock him. I swaddle, I shush, I rock, I pat .... I feel like a rubbish mum cos I'm obviously not picking up his tired signs and if I did, we wouldn't go through this drama, but I'm getting close to the end of my tether.
Sorry for the rant, but any advice would be welcome. And, yes, I read the recent thread on settling and i've tried pretty much everything in it. I'm off to Family Centre next Thursday but need to get through a whole week first. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Replies:
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 11 September 2008 at 6:53pm
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My first suggestions was gonna be to go the family centre so that is great that you already have that booked in.
Do you have a front pack or sling that you could put him in so that he will go to sleep and you can still get a few things done, or perhaps take him for a ride in the pram or even a trip in the car. I would give loads of other suggestions but I think that really it will be better for you to make it through the week and then go with what they show you at the family centre as it will be much easier for them to help as they will see what he is doing. Waking after 45 mins is really common, Spencer and me went to the family centre when he was 3 months for that exact problem. His day sleeps were so bad that basically our day had already turned to crap before 9am cos it would start with that first one then get worse as the day went on. But after going to the family centre it took about a week following their advice and then I had an awesome little sleeper. Some  cos I think you need them and you are not a rubbish mum. Any mum that worries and tries to solve problems is not a rubbish mum.------------- 
 
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Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 11 September 2008 at 8:02pm
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You're doing a great job, try not to stress. I've bumped a couple of older self-settling threads for you ... could have some more tips to try over the next week? You could also have a look at the message boards on this http://babywhisperer.com/babywhisperer6d08.html?load=home - site too. Good luck! |
Posted By: DJ
Date Posted: 12 September 2008 at 10:20am
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This sounds pretty familiar to me.
Some of my problem was that I was feeding my baby for too long (are you bf?- hopefully some of this is relevant if you aren't) and she was snoozing on the breast, and then not settling when I put her to bed. I got great advice from plunket line, which sounds simple, but was a life savour at the time. 1) when he wakes up a 7/8am keep him awake while feeding - he needs to be doing a proper feeding suck so that his whole jaw is moving. The second he stops with a big jaw moving suck (and moves to just comfort sucking), take him off the boob (bottle?) and stop any drowzing. 2) keep him awake for 45mins or so - wear him out with playing. 3) swaddle and put him into bed - shh pat, rock etc if you need to. Voila! sleep. White noise, a safetysleep, a sheet over the cot to stop her from looking around and being too stimulated all helped too. This really worked for me. It is very tempting to let him go back to sleep after his first feed in the morning, but I found the day was ruined if I didn't start with the feed, play sleep routine from that first wake up in the morning. I really hope you find something that works. I feel your pain, and I know that lots of others on here know exactly what you are going thru. I felt like a complete failure as a mother at the same stage, and once you get into a pattern that works for you, you will feel like a new woman. good luck. ETA - have you seen the plunket sleepy time video. DP and I laughed at it when we first watched it, and said "whatever - as if she would just go to sleep like that", but once we got the feeding sorted, she did - it was like magic! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 12 September 2008 at 5:50pm
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Thanks - I'll try the play in the morning (I usually pop him back to bed so I can sleep!). The thread the lilfatty started was helpful too - this week we'll just have lots of cuddles and walks, and then we'll see what Plunket say. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: DJ
Date Posted: 16 September 2008 at 9:20am
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How are you getting on Flissty? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 16 September 2008 at 11:32am
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I've adopted the "whatever works to get him to sleep and keep me sane" approach, aka rocking, jiggling, walking, wheeling ....
It has been reassuring cos I start the rocking and wrapping when I see his tired signs - it normally takes abut 25 minutes to get from initial tired signs to sleep, and there are at least 3 periods of really fighting sleep in that 25 minutes. So I *do* pick up the tired signs - it's just that he doesn't want to sleep - made me feel a bit less like a bad, incompetent mother. And always, just as I start to question if he is really tired, he will always start yawning again! I do the morning play after he's had 12 hours of sleep (e.g. this morning he woke at 6 but had only had 8 hours of sleep, so I put him back to bed till 9) - the first day it was brilliant cos he had a 2 1/2 hour sleep in the afternoon. Unfortunately since then, it's back to the 45 minute snoozes. But, I think he's different to your wee girl cos Daniel is a very efficient feeder - usually 15 minutes and then he's done and asleep. I have bought a miracle wrap (geez, they really are a straight jacket!) cos he escaped out of his other wrap and I think he woke himself doing that. First time using it at the moment. it was also useful to look at the ask an expert questions that Alex Bartle answered - lots of people in my boat! It was reassuring that at this point, despite what some books say, I'm not going to turn him into someone who still needs rocking to sleep at 18 years old  - his approach fitted with my view that he's just really little. I'd be happy to leave him to cry if I knew it would just take 5 minutes to get him to sleep (which is how it worked till last week) but since crying is now actually distressing him more and stopping him sleeping, then I'll go with comforting him for now. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: DJ
Date Posted: 16 September 2008 at 2:08pm
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Excellent - good job! I totally agree with helping them to get to sleep while they are really little and agree he is too young to form bad habits yet.
I totally bet myself up about what all the books said and the whole "creating a rod for your own back" thing. What a waste of energy stressing about it! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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