Episiotomy, Recovery & "Relations"
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=20973
Printed Date: 12 September 2025 at 12:58pm
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Topic: Episiotomy, Recovery & "Relations"
Posted By: Millie1976
Subject: Episiotomy, Recovery & "Relations"
Date Posted: 16 September 2008 at 2:20pm
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Hi all,
I had an episiotomy with my second child and wanted to hear from other mums out there who have also had one and how long it took to recover and when did you feel comfortable having "relations" again??? I have pretty much recovered "down there" I think but am still pretty scared to try the whole relations thing. Sorry if this is a bit TMI! ------------- Sebastien 2 years old Olivier 3 3/4 years old |
Replies:
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 16 September 2008 at 2:28pm
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I had one, mine seemed to be quite tender for longer than what my MW thought was normal. I had to have pain killers for about a week longer than she had given me them for.
We tried having "relations" about 5-6 weeks after birth. Just made sure there was plenty of lube and told DH to be gentle lol. Honestly it was fine. I was a little tender but that was probably caused by me just being all tense. But I do find that now sex with condoms hurts me. Whether or not that is related to the episotomy, i don't really know. |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 16 September 2008 at 2:28pm
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i didnt have one of them, but wanted to say after my second i had a small tear (according to the midwife) who said it didnt need stitches. anyway a couple of days later at home i thought i should feel how bad it was and OMG it felt to me like a canyon!!! thought i was going to be wrecked for life, but i am sure we were up and running again by 6 weeks.
------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 16 September 2008 at 2:48pm
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LOL! That's how I felt! The pain from the episiotomy was gone by about day 10, but I was so terrified to look or feel down there (still haven't, actually!). We had sex after 6 weeks with lube and it was fine. I was a bit sore internally, but not from the episiotomy at all. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: pekemoemum
Date Posted: 16 September 2008 at 6:03pm
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i Had an episotomy with DS#1, and it was extremely painful, in fact I wasn't comfortable enough to even see the doctor for my 'check up' until 9wks after he was born..... after that it took a wee while for me to be brave enough and it was fine.. a little tender., but even now 5 years after, the same scar is STILL tender.. (e.g. sitting on side of the bath while running it, and sometimes when riding the bike)... apparently it's the scar tissue.
however after DS#2 I had a small tear (in a different place, that healed up really fast and i was comfortable to hvae 'relations' alot earlier than last time! hugs.. it's a bit of mind over matter I think!!! all the best! ------------- Gina, Reef 15/6/03, Tyde 12/2/07 http://www.pekemoe.co.nz - Peke Moe - Unique NZ Made Baby Sleeping bags for babies who get out of swaddle/wrap |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 16 September 2008 at 6:49pm
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It took me 8 weeks to feel ready to try again. It's the longest my DH ever had to wait for me and I was feeling sorry for him by the end! LOL We talked about it from 6 weeks onwards but anytime I thought about it, I was like, nah, I think it's still too tender.
PS Don't make the mistake of looking at it! I still remember that experience 3yrs on   -------------  |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 16 September 2008 at 8:21pm
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I tore and was tender for a long time. Even now I can still feel the scar tissue, sometimes more than others. We had sex at 6 weeks, but then only tried it once and it hurt (had to use condoms which was a mistake - but of course didn't want another pregnancy lol) I think it took a good 2-3 months to be confident again. Just take your time, it is sometimes mind over matter but no need to rush things (unless you have a DH like mine who gets like a whinging child (or a rabid dog) when he isn't getting any )
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Posted By: LittleRed
Date Posted: 16 September 2008 at 8:36pm
i had an episiotomy, took me around 8 weeks for the pain to subside. was still very painful at times and when going to the loo (sorry to much info). sex was actually impossible as the obgyn has sewn me up wrong. i had to get a specialist to remove scar tissue and then Iput me under for sugery about a month ago to recut and resew. we can have 'relations' now but has taken 8.5 months to get it all sorted. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 17 September 2008 at 10:07am
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I had an episiotomy and a couple of small tears. We had "relations" 4 weeks after bubs was born. I took arnica religiously every day leading up to the birth and every day after for about 3 weeks and I healed really quickly. I was in a bit of pain for the first week, but then it was just uncomfortable for a week or so. The first time was a bit sore, but we just took it really slowly and like others have mentioned used lots of lube. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: youngmum
Date Posted: 18 September 2008 at 4:15pm
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Thank you for this topic! I had an extensive episiotomy (my first baby) - apparently they cut me three times (I was too out to it on the gas to realise!). It took a long time to stop hurting, and DH and I didnt try having sex until about 10 weeks; yes he is a wonderful patient hubby! Hurt like crazy and we didnt get very far. A week or so later tried again with same result and now at 3 months we have only just managed to um well how can I put this without it being way TMI...get the whole distance. Even then we had to stop because it was hurting too bad. My stitches seemed to have formed a very hard rigid line which is painful to touch even now. Little Red is this anything like what you had? I really want to get this sorted out, can anyone help me? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 18 September 2008 at 4:20pm
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See your GP - it might be normal (though if it still is painful to touch at 3 months, it doesn't really sound normal); sometimes it needs to be looked at by a specialist (and sometimes it needs to be redone) but your GP will be your best source of advice. I think some women on OB have needed to get the scars looked at cos they've ended up like yours - hopefully one of them can reply too. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: youngmum
Date Posted: 18 September 2008 at 4:33pm
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Thank you, I will make an appt now to see my GP. Would really like to hear from some other people too who have had a similar experience or know someone who has? ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Millie1976
Date Posted: 19 September 2008 at 10:10am
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Thanks for all your replies girls - it's good to know that there are plenty of other people that have been in the same situation. We finally had "relations" the other night and although it was rather uncomfortable it wasn't as bad as I thought so that is a relief! ------------- Sebastien 2 years old Olivier 3 3/4 years old |