Older mums
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=21243
Printed Date: 23 July 2025 at 8:37pm Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Older mums
Posted By: Alanismum
Subject: Older mums
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 3:30pm
I was 38 when I had my first child. Everything from conception, pregnancy and birth went really well and my little girl is a healthy 10 months old now. So now the question, shall we try for a second one? Are there any older mums who despite all the health risks are having more children even if mum is over 40?
------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Replies:
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 3:32pm
I was 33 when I had rhyley. we are thinking about #4 and i am now 36. Which is one of the factors why iam not 100% sure (amonst other things).
------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 3:41pm
We will be trying for No 1 in the New Year I am 35. I really don't think it matters, as long as you are fit and healthy, there isn't any concerns.
I suppose you have to ask yourself if there was a problem what would you do?
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Angel June 2012
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Posted By: choco69
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 3:46pm
I am trying for #1 at 39 .. both my GP and Gynae don't think it's an issue, it's more bout how you feel .. my sister had #3 at 40 and she has a number of friends who had babies in their late 30s and into 40s
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 3:49pm
I'm not an older mum but I say go for it! If your first experience was good, then what's to say the next one won't be?
There are a few ladies at work in their mid 40's that have little ones and they had no more problems than younger ladies, except a few had BP issues but I think that was more the fact they were going to trials etc at 38-39 weeks pg and not listening to their bodies!
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 3:57pm
My SIL is a mid wife and she regularly has clients in their late 30's having their first child.
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Angel June 2012
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Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 4:04pm
I'm 39 and have just had our amnio results cleared with our #3, I had good pregs at 34 & 36. Karl and I had also disussed our options if any problems had come up in our test results and we had both agreed what we would do even before we got preg this time.
I think if it is something that both you and your DP/DH want there should be no reason you shouldn't try.
Good luck with your decision 
------------- Kerryn, Mum to
Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09)
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Posted By: mylilmosaic
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 5:51pm
I am 38 and pregnant with my second (first I had at 25) and this is hubby's first baby at 36. I think it all depends on how you feel, and I think its a really individual personal choice for couples. lol I can't wait although sometimes when I remember the sleep deprievation (sp) I wonder what was I thinking
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Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 6:20pm
I have a similar gap to you jaxs and I found my second pregnancy, birth and first year way easier than having a baby in my mid 20's.
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 27 September 2008 at 7:02pm
my dads wife had her last son at 42 and he is 12 and absolutely fine. his only problem is social skills but that is becasue he was never really given the chance to be round other kids, since you have a 10 month old id say go for it :) her other kids are 30ish and 25 and she is mid 50s now
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Posted By: LeahandJoel
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 1:48pm
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 2:08pm
i turned 39 2 mths after eden and i must say it was my hardest pregnancy...it seemed to really take its toll on my body, and i had a heap more aches and pains thru it...being overweight and in summer didnt help, but they werent solely responsible for the aches and pains.
every one is diff tho...
but i do find myself now looking at my kids and worrying i wont be around too see them become parents themselves or get married or even turn 21! and that personally is my biggest worry about being a slightly older mum.
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 3:25pm
Bizzy wrote:
but i do find myself now looking at my kids and worrying i wont be around too see them become parents themselves or get married or even turn 21! and that personally is my biggest worry about being a slightly older mum. |
That's my biggest fear, my own mum died at 60 from cancer and she'd been a healthy person up until the year before she died. This worries me as I felt loosing my mum at 30 was too young, and you never really know when your time is up.
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Angel June 2012
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Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 7:28pm
Grandparents are one thing Caleb has missed out on. He has two surviving grandparents (my Mum passed away when I was six months pregnant) and both are now in their 80's. My Dad is fit and well but his other Nana keeps asking whose baby that is.
I guess I notice it more because my daughter had tons of holidays with her cousins staying at her Grandparents and really loved it.
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Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 30 September 2008 at 2:40pm
I think you should go for it!!. My mum was 40 when she had my younger brother....and I'm pretty sure that if I can, I'll be tryna make babies at the age too lol.
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Posted By: Katte
Date Posted: 01 October 2008 at 2:13pm
I'm 37 and pregnant with #2. Had DD at 32. I guess it all comes down to mindset and how you feel within yourself. This pg has been pretty similar to the first the only difference being I am more tired but I also have a nearly 5 yr old to run around after! I will be stopping at this one but that is only because I don't have good pgs and don't want to go through it again. A lot of my close friends are older mums too and seemed to coped well also.
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Posted By: KJCOLE
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 1:48pm
Like you I had my first at 38 and am now 3 months pregnant with my second due 6 weeks after my 40th birthday. I think I am more relaxed than I would have been if I had had them younger and more appreciative of the fact that I don't get another chance so I had better enjoy them while I can.
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Posted By: sweetpea
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 1:58pm
there is a book thats been written on this topic it was on capbell live earlier this year. One of the things that it mentioned was that the later you have your pregnancys the longer women seem to live theya ren't sure why they think it has somethging to do with the biological changes that occur in a women body while she is pregnant. The book would be well worth a read.
Incedentally what about older first time dads? dh and i are thinking we will start a family next year he will 46 i'll be 31
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Posted By: Mum_mum
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 2:02pm
Hey Sweetpea - not my situation but i work with two dads who both had their last kids at 50. Their new partners are both in their 30's. The dads say it is the best thing that has ever happened to them!
------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
Angel baby - May 2008
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Posted By: sweetpea
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 2:07pm
Well they do say kids keep you young
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 2:13pm
I say go for it if you want too..for me I want another one very soon as the risks of complications and abnormalities go up a lot after 35 and then 40 but if i was you I would go for it:) I had issues but that was partly weight and partly bad luck..
------------- Mum to two amazing boys!
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 2:31pm
It all seems relative, as I feel like an older mum ttc at 35, where as some see that as average age and 40 as older.
I think its cause 40 was the first big birthday I remember my parents having, finally feel like my mental age is catching up with my biological one.
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Angel June 2012
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Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 5:09pm
I say go for it too, I have just turned 39 and expecting bub no 3 , my second pregnancy was actually my worst had lots of probs from 24 weeks , so far this one has been fine as was my first both boys.
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 8:17pm
ok those older mums who have had baby over 35 - is there etra test you get done? Like scan at 12 weeks and animio?
------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 8:19pm
sweetpea wrote:
Incedentally what about older first time dads? dh and i are thinking we will start a family next year he will 46 i'll be 31 |
My Uncle had his first child when he was 58... personally i think thats too old but Its his life - his partner is only 25 years so at least 1 of them will be around for a long time (well hopefully)
------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
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Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 9:27pm
AnnC if you ask your mw about extra testing you can get it done, I didn't have 12wk scans for my 1st 2 babies (34 & 36 years) but we did for this one (am now 39) You can have 12wk scan (NT scan) where they measure the fluid sac at the back of baby's neck and calculate chances of problems, there is a blood test that you can have which they look for indicators for problems, the 2 more difinitive tests are the CVS (sorry not sure if that is the right abv) they do an internal sample of the placenta and that can be done at around 12-13 wk from memory then the amniosentecis which is a sample of the amniotic fluid which is done usually round 16-18 wks
------------- Kerryn, Mum to
Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09)
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 10:08pm
I htink i will definately have the 12wk scan done and blood test - its more the animio . with Rhylz I was 33 and I never got offered any etra test. Seemed to think 2 "perfect" children and no family history.
------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 10:09pm
Not pregnant yet but I did think about contacting my Midwife from Rhyley and talking to her about what i should be doing while ttc'ing , i had Gestational Diabetes with Rhyley so i want to avoid getting it again if I can help it.
------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
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Posted By: kezplanet
Date Posted: 23 October 2008 at 9:56am
I think so long as you can talk to your mw and express your concerns you shouldn't have a problem. Generally you will only be advised to have an amnio or other invasive tests if there are previous indicators or something shows up in other testing such as the scan or blood test, and it also depends on what you and DH would do in the situation that something 'did come up' if you would go thru with the preg then there is not a 'need' to go with extra testing except for your own information. If it wasn't something your family could deal with and you want to be closer to 100% sure then testing is advisable. Our figures wern't too high 1:139 or something like that but Karl and I had discussed which way we would go already so we did the testing and the main factor with our scan figures was the age factor.
Good luck with getting things organised and for the ttc!!!
------------- Kerryn, Mum to
Ashlyn(29/3/04), Anastasia(1/11/05) & Abigail (24/02/09)
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 23 October 2008 at 8:31pm
You know I have thought of what if the baby isn't 'perfect' and I don;t know whether i could have it BUT then I don't think I could terminate it either - such a hard desicion isn't it. I won't worry too much about it until if it happens.
------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
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Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 24 October 2008 at 6:27pm
I was 35 when I had DS1, 38 with DS2 and the results from the NT were good so we didn't have any further testing. Now pregnant with #3 and #4 and am 41. The results from the NT were so-so because the tech couldn't find the nasal bone of one of them but then we went to the specialist and he found it and that really helped with the results. I was going to get all the extra testing I could but have decided that I am happy with the NT results and will leave it there.
------------- http://lilypie.com">
Alex 6 and Harry 8
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 24 October 2008 at 6:38pm
Thats good to know Linda.
------------- Ann
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10)
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Posted By: jaxmum
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 6:43pm
I started IVF treatment on my 40th birthday and we were lucky enough to get pregnant and I am a totally besotted mother. I am 41 now and if I could I would be pregnant again. I had a cut off age but because we couldn't get pregnant it kept creeping up and up. I do worry about being 50 when he is 10 etc, but we older mothers are far more common now. I just feel lucky and happy to finally have our gorgeous baby.
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