Rant about cost!
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=21254
Printed Date: 01 October 2025 at 2:21am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Rant about cost!
Posted By: MissAngel
Subject: Rant about cost!
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 9:16am
|
And I'm sure a lot of you feel the same!
Why the blimmen heck does baby stuff have to be so expensive!!!! My coffee group does things together 4 days a week, and it involves spending money. Monday is Gymbaroo, Tuesday is Lunch, Wednesday is Swimming. They rave on about how excellent the gymbaroo and swimming is, but I just cant afford it! (gym is $11 a session and swimming is $90 for the term) I feel bad like Thomas is missing out - all the other babies seem to be developing faster as a result of going to these things (they go to a variety of other free things on other days too) I just get so pissed off that people charge so much for things. What with nappies, formula etc etc.. Yet another reason why I wouldnt have had kids yet if it'd had the choice! ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
|
Replies:
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 9:27am
|
it can be expensive... i never got into the gymabroo thing and i believe you can do the same things at home for free... like balancing on ball, rolling etc. sometimes i think we do these because we think we are expected to, as if spending time at home with our children isnt good enough for them. another aspect of mummy guilt i suppose.
even cheaper stuff can get expensive...if i do playgroup and music in the week thats $6 minimum and if i go out for coffee thats more money. and if you add all those weeks up!!! i wonder if some of the mums in your coffee group have the same problems and just want someone to say, enough lets hang out at someones house instead! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
|
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 9:40am
|
nah the partners all earn heaps, the kids are all in expensive clothing etc so yea.. I highly doubt it! ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 9:42am
|
maybe you need to find a coffee group that has more in common with you and your income... lol!
congrats on the wedding by the way, and i'm glad the dress came thru! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
|
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 10:35am
|
Ah that sucks. We do swimming but we stopped doing jumping beans cos it was too expensive for what they do. We have found a playgroup though that only charges 50c and a piece of fruit for 2 hours of activities, maybe you could look at something like that to take him along to. There is always baby time at the library as well, I think that is free.
Doing expensive activities won't help with development, as Bizzy said you can do all the same things at home. Is a shame your group doesnt' just have coffee at each others houses really cos that costs hardly anything and the babies get good social interaction as well. ------------- 
 
|
Posted By: Neeks
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 10:43am
|
I agree with you totally, everything in regards to babies social development is expensive...
We were going to do Jumping Beans but when it came to forking out for the fees we had to withdraw our application because we didn't have that amount due to having to pay school fees the same week.. 
We do how ever have our coffee group through Plunket that meet up once a fortnight at someones house where the kids can interact and play with others of the same age and the parents have a chance to catch up over a coffee and some nibbles We're going to start swimming when the weather warms up a bit more so that'll be something new to look forward to 
-------------  
|
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 10:53am
|
We've done jumping beans, tried gymbaroo and swimming but never all at once.
Now we have moved we cant swim at the moment (pool caught fire and is being rebuilt) but we have been going out 3 days a week and that is mainly for me to meet people and fill up my day rather than Tom's development. He learns great just rolling around on the floor with me or crawling through a tunnel, climbing over a homemade obstacle course etc. I thought $11 per session was a lot also. Here there is a form of gymbaroo that is only $6 per session and I think that is much better. Our music and movement class is gold coin donation which is EXCELLENT value for over an hours worth of music, dance, stories and snacks!
|
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 11:08am
Bizzy, this is what I feel like saying to my coffee group, I dont understand why we cant just meet up at someoens hosue for cake and coffee, then we can pop the babies on the floor to play while we have a break, but instead the are pram/capsule bound and half the time the places they pick are not pram friendly! Alex I have the same problem, my coffee group always go to expensive cafes and stuff and I just cant afford it which is why I havent gone to the last 3 coffee groups.. ------------- |
Bizzy wrote:Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 11:54am
|
perhaps you could put an ad up at the supermarket
"wanting to start a coffee group that largely consists of mums getting together once a week for a coffee and catch up at each others house with the hope of starting some good friendships and a place for our children to get social interaction , please ph ......" Hey , worth a shot ! im sure you'll find a lot of women out there feel the same way . Social interaction doesnt have to be going to gymbaroo (whatever that is) or the rest, its just kids spending time with other people . ------------- 
|
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 12:08pm
cadens mum, remind me next time i go down to waiuku to visit you... i have friends down there we visit occasionally. none with kids your age, one lady has a 2 yr old and i can ask her if she knows of anything of bit more kid friendly... she' not the sort to spend money on anything unnecessary...  ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
|
Posted By: Mazzy
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 1:58pm
|
Man, our coffee group is the budget sort - we only ever go to each other's places or to the park for a picnic lunch (packed ourselves) if the weather is nice! Paid for outings are reserved for Christmas/the joint group birthday! And our kids definitely aren't challenged developmentally. Thomas will be fine. Personally I would be put off by meeting up with the same people/kids four times a week - too much! At least Thomas isn't just set in one little social circle, you guys can meet and make lots of different friends.
If you look around there might be more cheap/free things to do, and you could suggest those to your coffee group. Our local library does a great kids corner session once a week for free, reading stories, singing and dancing and crafty stuff (which you can have fun with until Thomas gets into it  ) . Our local pool also has a play session once a week, where for two hours they have the kids pool full of toys and activities, music playing and an instructor just hanging out helping and giving ideas for play. It only costs the normal admission price (so $4 for me and nothing for the kids as they're under 2). Bargain!
I know what you mean though - kids can get expensive and there are soooooo many things that you feel like you 'should' do. Hard to find time to do them all too. Personally I think you can do most of it at home. Much cheaper and easier! ------------- Mum to two gorgeous girls! |
Posted By: jaycee
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 2:06pm
|
the weather is starting to improve (fingers crossed) so you could maybe suggest that one of you meetings could be at they park/playground - free if you can walk there rather than drive .
As the others have said, story time at the library is really good (and free) and playgoups set up by church groups (eg Sallies) are usually donation only and informal. -------------   
|
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 2:38pm
|
I don't understand why anyone pays $11 a session for gymbaroo etc, it only takes a bit of googling to find out what you should be doing.
I don't think your sons development would necessarily be noticeably different from the other kids already... put it this way Jack goes to music ($4) every week and our coffee group once a fortnight and he was the first to do most things. A lot of the others go swimming, to music, gymbaroo etc and aren't ahead. I think a lot of it is just people buying into this thing about you needing to formally educate your child how to roll etc. It's a crock really unless you've got the money. |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 2:52pm
Sounds good! Just send me a pm when you are coming and I can let you know where I live
I saw one of the ladys from our coffee group at the supermarket and she actually feels the same way as me, she didnt want to go to fancy cafes and stuff, she just wants to go to someones house and have coffee! So we are going to organise something, yay ------------- |
Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 3:47pm
|
our coffee group meets every 2 weeks at each others house and who ever is hosting provides refreshments. To me it makes more sense and I find I am less likely to go home early if my girl is cranky as I can just feed her..I feel more comfortable feeding her at one of the mums houses rather than some cafe. Also dont have to worry about the babies crawling/walking over to a paying customer.
I do take my 10 month to a few things (which are only on during term time)mainly music $3 a session and you only pay if you go..she also has swimming lessons and thats about $9 a lesson (but pay for the term in one go). another group I go to is MOPS (mums of preschoolers) again only during term time and $4 (covers the creche and any arts and crafts we do). I might suggest to our coffee group once our babies are walking we can meet at a park etc give our babies a chance to run around hopefully most if not all of them will be walking during the summer months next year. but yes I do understand somethings can get quite expensive..one things the mums in my coffee group used to go was jumping beans..casual was $15 or about $110 a term..I felt that was a bit much for me to pay ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 4:14pm
excellent, good on you! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
|
Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 4:59pm
Our coffee group alternates each week which I think is great! One week is at someones house the next week is out somewhere. Last week we went to the zoo and it was lovely, we had a picnic and thoroughly enjoyed it! More often than not, the outing is to Chipmunks as its free for under 1's, the kids have a ball and romp around and we can natter and drink coffee till our hearts content and all its cost is a cup of coffee and bit of petrol! We have been known to stay at Chipmunks for hours though, as it entertains our bubbas so well  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
|
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 5:13pm
| Hey Missangel do get PAFT visits? Because they do gymbaroo and swimming lessons for free. You could also just take Thomas to the pool yourself its only $2 for you and Thomas at QE2 and you can just a splash around with him. |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 5:23pm
|
I was always up front when going to coffee group and if I only had $3.50 for one coffee then taht is waht I had. I also used to take a museli bar from home to have when out for coffee so it was like having a slice from the cafe except mine was much cheaper and a few times I would buy an afchan fromthe bakery at $1.50 and have t with my coffee at the coffee group meet up where the afchans would normally be $4 plus. For the swimming just go to the pool when the sessions are on and from the public part of the pool just copy what they are doing. Our swimming was $110 per term and for 25mins I couldnt afford it either. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 5:56pm
I'm with PAFT and dont get free lessons:( They gave me the thing adn told me to ring and book but I'm sure those cost? how do i get the free ones?:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 5:59pm
|
I know how you feel about development..I used to think the same but I truly think they just develop at their own rate..we do nothing except coffee group every two weeks with some people from here (and various other free outings) though we are about to start swimming(67 a term) and he is perfectly the same if not ahead in some things as the others.. I also think 4 times a week is way too much:( but that's just my personal opinion... as my PAFT lady said they learn from being on the floor mostly:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 8:41pm
|
Here here to floor play being the best development sitmulation ever and it is free!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 9:57pm
|
None of my kids ever did fancy classes and they're all developing just fine! Maya started swimming lessons at 3, before that I just used to take her to the pools on my own once a week. Gremlins did lessons for a while but only coz it was the only way I could manage both of them, once my nanny started we gave up lessons and just did swimming on our own.
I have just enrolled them in Jumping Beans tho, mostly coz they need somewhere to channel their excessive energy! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 9:57pm
|
Hmmmm. Honestly? I think here is something more going on with (some of) these mums. I see if often in the groups through parents centre (Im pres). First time mums often feel they need to "put on a public face" that they are coping brilliantly and its all easy as pie. Often, alot of these mums aren't doing that well and are too scared to say to anyone else, cos "everyone else" is coping. How these mums often cope is by being out of the house all the time. These is often also alot of unspoken "peer mummy pressure" out there to have the designer gears and be doing every activity out there to make their baby the brainiest etc. Often alot of first time mums think if they don't do these things (gymbaroo etc) their baby will be behind developmentally etc, and that is just NOT TRUE!!!!
I would just be up front and say I just can't justify spending $11 a week on baby gym classes - you're not saying you can't afford it ,but that you just can't justify it when in reality it dosen't make the babies any better etc. Also, there is always a "ringleader" of every group, just like there is always a couple of wall flowers. Make for the wallflowers and sneekily sound them out on how they really feel about the activity thing, maybe even just say to them I'm gonna give (X) a skip this week, I'm going to bake, who would like to come for a coffee and a perve at my wedding pix? Good luck, chick. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 9:58pm
|
PS. Us July mums get together every couple of weeks, so far we've tended to alternate between peoples houses and going out which works well budget wise. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 10:12pm
|
Yup, works well for me
I'm also lucky that my coffee group tends to rotate around people's houses - in about 4 months, we've only gone out 3 times, and we get together weekly. We do sometimes catch up at the mall etc, but we have one free thing a week. Quoting fattartsrock: How these mums often cope is by being out of the house all the time Have to admit, that's sometimes a strategy I use (actually, often a strategy I use ) - I find Daniel is much easier to deal with (or I get less stressed) if I'm out and about. But it usually consists of walking to the local mall and library, walking round it and coming home!------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 10:20pm
|
Yep, I definitely use getting out of the house as a coping strategy, not so much with lil miss but definitely with the gremlins. I get quite anxious and stressed being at home on my own with them coz they have such limitless energy, whereas if I take them out they can channel that energy at the playground etc.
Oh and IMO Mainly Music is a great value weekly activity. At $3 a pop it's cheap and my kids love it, plus they get morning tea, and I've met lots of other mums there too. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
|
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 28 September 2008 at 10:34pm
|
How do you guys get into Coffeegroup? espec small town people (and not first time parents)
Everytime i join something a coffee group never happens. I thought about parent centre but they charge u. I think I might talk to plunket and see if they run a coffee group. ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 29 September 2008 at 8:32am
|
Whats PAFT? lol..
Yea I'm totally with that whole 'ringleader' thing. I think they're all coping with being first time mums tho - they have a good bitch about it when something goes wrong! which is good :D We're going to check out this library thing today - I'm just gonna wander around and look for books for me and have a listen in to see if I like it. I'm not really a 'sing along' person lol.. ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 September 2008 at 8:50am
|
PAFT= Parents and First teachers.. you have to be in before bubs is like 4 months I think?and lasts till 3....I have learnt heaps and I'm a teacher.. they come once a month and are really great at talking to you bout other stuff as well
the other thing is Thomas and the other babies are still really young so I'm not sure why they think they need to do all the classes and everything? I got frustrated cause I thought some of the Mums i know were doing so well and I was the only one who found it hard(I openly admit I found the first few months really difficult) but upon talking to some I realised they put a lot of energy into pretending they did... ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 September 2008 at 8:51am
|
and yes I'm another who likes to get out of the house to cope..though in the beginning to frightened me but then I learnt that everyones babies are grumpy when they are out sometimes:) and really I actually had quite a settled bub after getting on Neocate!:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 29 September 2008 at 8:57am
|
Ah. Thomas is 4 months old today lol..
I guess they just want to do everything they can, I dunno. I would have loved to get Thomas into some of it, but yea $$$$! ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">
|
Posted By: jaz
Date Posted: 29 September 2008 at 9:20am
|
A four month old doesn't need gymnastics classes or swimming lessons. Outings at this stage are more about you having adult conversation than babies development. I'm a bit inclined to agree with Bizzy, would it be better to find a coffee group with people you can relate to. Or skip the activities and suggest a few meet ups at beaches/parks now the weather is getting better or someone's home if its not. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: jaycee
Date Posted: 29 September 2008 at 9:38am
|
[QUOTE I'm not really a 'sing along' person lol.. [/QUOTE]
That is what i said before I started Mainly Music - I have a terrible voice and was worried about singing and dancing around in public (not my thing) but we have been going for two years now - since Amy was 6 or 8 weeks old and it is great. Amy loves it and Sophie is really starting to get into it too. As Emma said - $3 a week and morning tea is hard to go past. -------------
|
Posted By: jaycee
Date Posted: 29 September 2008 at 9:40am
That is what i said before I started Mainly Music - I have a terrible voice and was worried about singing and dancing around in public (not my thing) but we have been going for two years now - since Amy was 6 or 8 weeks old and it is great. Amy loves it and Sophie is really starting to get into it too. As Emma said - $3 a week and morning tea is hard to go past.
eta - that was my 100 post now a senior member !!-------------
|
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 29 September 2008 at 9:53am
|
Issy does both Jumping Beans and Swimming and has done since she was 12 weeks old (and Active Movement - but thats free).
We do it mostly so she gets to mingle with other kiddies as DH doesnt belong to any coffee groups (unless you count the January Mummies), and she loves swimming! I have found that her jumping beans class has helped with her motor skills, although she may have started crawling before turning 7 months anyway, we shall never know. I guess we are just fortunate that we can afford to send her to these things. Although there was this terms jumping beans was paid for by Grandma and I had to pay for car repairs instead
------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
|
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 29 September 2008 at 11:02am
|
I don't belong to a coffee group because the one I went to once was full of women I could not relate to at all.
Some of the classes they have for bubs are so expensive. We pay for swimming lessons for Daniel because it's a good skill and he totally loves it. I could do it all myself and go once a week but in all honesty it would be too easy for me to skip weeks whereas since it's a class we always go. We are about to enrol in a 4th term for him. He has learnt lots of things from these lessons too so its well worthwhile. We also went to lollipops the other day and $9 for me and Daniel that is kinda expensive. But I'm thinking of taking him there once every couple of weeks just because he had a ball and I got to chat to lots of mums while I was there. |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 29 September 2008 at 2:12pm
|
I;ve been thinking a lot of about this kida stuff and how we feel we are "bad mothers" if we don't do this and that - and basically it ends up sacrificing ourselves (and our budget) we thinkfor our children, hen in actual fact, kids grow into much better adults if we as parents just spend time with them! WE never went to fancy classes and we turned out alright (well, some of us don't stress! and join my bad mummy club!
|
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 29 September 2008 at 2:38pm
|
I never did the whole coffee group thing... the whole 'keeping up with the joneses' mentality of it all would have driven me bonkers.
Instead I had a few friends who I knew I liked as well as having kids similar ages and we just hung out. If you find any mamas that you just *click* with then hang on to them for dear life (well.... not too clingy.. ) as they are worth their weight in gold.
And yeah, as Liz said, it's far more beneficial for the kiddos if YOU spend time with them. Mind you... I'm the last person who should be saying that kind of stuff. ha! Good luck sweets and start hanging out with people you enjoy and going places that you want to! |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 29 September 2008 at 2:40pm
|
Do you have Chipmunks in palmy? It's cheaper than lollipops ($5.50 for 2&3 yos and free for adults) and we prefer their playground. -------------  
|