special cuddles
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=21837
Printed Date: 23 August 2025 at 4:05am
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Topic: special cuddles
Posted By: Kazzle
Subject: special cuddles
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 3:25pm
so i probably should know the answer to this but given that ive had 4miscarriages and we have seen a nice healthy heartbeat, do you think it would be alright to have sex 
im like 6wks and its Kents birthday tomorrow...lol but i dont want to risk this pregnancy ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 3:28pm
There are other things you could do for him that don't require actual intercourse
However if your specialist hasn't said not to then there is probably no need to worry, but I totally understand why you would be reluctant to and i'm sure Kent will too. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 3:29pm
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lol probably is im as horny as anything as well , and the specialist hasnt said anything but i havent actually seen him yet...dont see him till next thursday and i cant get hold of his nurse. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 3:33pm
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Ah the pregnancy horn monster has arrived. Well there are things that he can do for you that don't require intercourse as well -------------
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Posted By: Danaj
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 3:35pm
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I had the same problem when I first fell. Poor Dh started hiding from me lol.
This actually raises a good topic as I was thinking about it this morning (the topic, not sex lol). If we were to suddenly drop to the floor in a passionate sweaty embrace (not flimmin likely lol) is there any particular...um......"ways" that are better or lower risk? (tried to put that as nicely as possible lol). I've heard that some women bleed and that some positions are not the best idea. It's the last thing on my mind and that's the flimmin thing that got me in this predicament but poor DH might have a stroke if I make him wait 
Sorry if this is too much info but i'm sure alot of us have had the same thoughts and concerns. ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wyI1oWn/"> 
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 3:36pm
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You should send reminders to all our DHs about that
I totally understand where you are coming from Kaz....maybe DH needs to "take one for the team" and go without just this once....or go with cuppateas advice. Good luck. |
cuppatea wrote:Posted By: Danaj
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 3:36pm
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Cuppatea, DH gave up those rights when he signed the marriage certificate LMAO!
Give him $20.00 and send him to the pub  ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wyI1oWn/">
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 3:38pm
Dana.... I would say go with whatever you feel might work and be comfy....and be prepared to change halfway through when it stops feeling comfy again .
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 3:59pm
Sideways, or on top so you can control it a bit more. I'm always horny and pregnancy has made me worse. Poor DH is probably gonna die from exhaustion or lack of protein
I've never had any trouble with bleeds though, and is good to remember that having an orgasm makes the uterus contract and baby can move a lot because of that but its all harmless and totally normal. -------------
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Posted By: Mrs_B
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 4:19pm
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In all the books I have read it suggests waiting until after 12 weeks if you have an history of bleeding or miscarriage. Heres a link I found which is....informative
http://www.babycenter.com.au/pregnancy/antenatalhealth/sexduringpregnancy/ - Sex during pregnancy Like someone suggested there are other things you could do to make his day that don't involve actual intercourse -------------  
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 4:38pm
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You naughty pregnant woman you.....LOL
I personally wouldnt have sex....even if it was DH's birthday. I remember with DD I had bleedings and was told to stay away from Sex even tho each time DD was fine in scans and had a strong HB....I agree there are other ways to please your man....and your man pleasing the very *ahem* you!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 4:55pm
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Hmmm, if I was you I would wait until you are further along....I waited until after 12 weeks just cos of my previous m/c. ------------- |
Posted By: RubyG
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 5:16pm
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I think if you are worried about it - then it probably won't be that great for either of you anyway....
------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 6:22pm
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[QUOTE=Danaj]
If we were to suddenly drop to the floor in a passionate sweaty embrace (not flimmin likely lol) is there any particular...um......"ways" that are better or lower risk? (tried to put that as nicely as possible lol). I' /QUOTE] well , i can tell you that if your'e going to have special cuddles at the Auckland museum in a car at 7 months pregnant , make sure you put your underwear on the inside of your pants when the police come up to your car ....*whistles innocently as she leaves this thread * ... ------------- 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 7:31pm
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I say go for it! It'll do you both a world of good and is highly unlikely to affect the baby at all. Besides, you already have answers for your previous miscarriages (blood pressure) so that can help you rest easy.
Go on, pull out your special undie drawer and have a party (the two of you LOL) for his birthday! -------------  |
Posted By: Danaj
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 7:53pm
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Is it true that some women get the urge the further along they get? Cause frankly it's the furthest thing from my mind lol. I just want to get in my jimjams and veg on the couch. DH is home in 10 days after 11 weeks away and I don't want the poor thing to sulk I seriously doubt my drive is going in increase once we get bubs home. ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wyI1oWn/">
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 7:58pm
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heheh DH waited, and waited and waited some more for the urge to strike me... never did until I just wanted Daniel out so was up for anything that might help that part along
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 8:56pm
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I never got the urge either. We probably had sex twice, maybe three times when I was preg with Maya and not at all with the gremlins or lil miss. Something about constant nausea and exhaustion makes sleep a damn sight more appealing than any other bedroom activity! Poor ole Willie was so patient, but he was raring to go by the time I got them out and was not impressed that I had retained products after the gremlins so he had to wait even longer!
Kaz - if I were you, I wouldn't go there. Not coz there is any great risk but just coz I tend towards being anxious and coz if anything went wrong afterwards I'd always be wondering what if even tho the logical part of my brain says that's ridiculous. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 9:01pm
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...random immature question ...where do you think dimples come from ? -------------
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Posted By: TraceyA
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 9:06pm
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I've been more worried about me orgasming. I've had a couple of very "interesting" dreams and had mini orgasms that freaked the hell out of me. Right now though I'm feeling crappy and don't want to go there. It's my birthday on Friday and my greatest wish right now seems to be for everyone to leave me alone so I can sleep. We will be 12 weeks about 3 days before DH's big 3-0 so he might get lucky.
Kaz, I'd go with the outercourse myself, I don't think I could relax enough to enjoy anything else. Good luck. Edit to add - Danaj I'm not sure my gag reflex would allow me to go back to pre-marriage treats ------------- TTC #2 |
Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 9:14pm
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HA HA HA ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 9:15pm
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I wouldn't risk it either, but only you can make that decision.
Dana - usually the side, girl on top or *ahem* doggy are good for those passionate moments. I got really randy the further along I got, we actually had really passionate sex about 6-7 hours before I went into labour just because we wanted to, not for any other reason. |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 10:12pm
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Dana I have definitely had an increase in the urge this pregnancy ever since the ms and tiredness stopped. I did go off sex in the later stages with Spencer so perhaps it will calm down later this time.
I can't believe people go a whole 9 months without sex, I think I would die if I went that long. Orgasms are fine and they won't hurt the baby, and really what is the point of sex if you don't have one? -------------
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Posted By: Moochiecat
Date Posted: 21 October 2008 at 11:03pm
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Such a annoying decision to make. I found out at 6 weeks and we waited until about week 14. Tried once in the middle and I as too worried to have fun, so we stopped, bit embarassing really, sad effort.
My interest in 'special cuddles' when to a far far away place, and its only just coming back. And I worried about that, but alot of the women I talk to say the same thing - it's just everyones a bit too shy to mention it in general pregnancy conversation. I would wait until you feel really comfortable and 'safe', not just cause its a special occasion - because you have a much bigger special occasion coming up in 8 months! Good luck - cook him a lovely dinner and give him a good back rub. That'll do the trick. |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 12:01am
LMAO!!! I told DH that when I was pg and he was like "dont be so stupid, thats just an old wives tale" lol
Kaz I would do whatever your comfortable with. Personally I probably wouldnt and I'd opt for something a little less involved 'down' there IYKWIM ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 7:24am
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lol you guys are funny, we are definitley waiting, and besides hes big enough and old enough to take care of himself ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 8:52am
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Yup, we tried about 10 weeks, just after our scan. I bled and freaked and have not tried again soon.
I had super sexy dreams in the first few weeks, evening to point I would wake having a mini O! I was quite disturbed by it. I have not really felt like it tbh, do darn tired!!!! Was thinking that we might try again though soon.... otherwise DH can stick to special showers
Have fun anyway chicken! -------------   
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Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 11:28am
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I with the don't go there, we have not done it that much this pregnancy due to the last one being complicated and def waited till after 12 weeks ------------- 
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Posted By: xLUCKYx
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 12:50pm
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Pregnancy made me go a lil randy to say the least in the first 6 months but has well and truely settled down now!
My DP is of the kind who are scared to hurt the baby - it was torturous when I was pregnant with Gabz but we managed to get over the 'issue' a few more times this time around.. Now I just feel too big and un-sexy lol - although somethingmight need to be done as DP is starting to go crazy with withdrawels lol ;-) |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 1:06pm
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Kaz, in your position I wouldn't do it. Not just yet, not until you get an all clear from the specialist but for those that don't have any medical complication go for it. Sex while pregnant can help prepare you for childbirth as it keep your pelvic floor muscles strong and supple. Also later on in pregnancy orgasms may be beneficial as they help prepare the uterus for the rigours of labour. Women are hypersensitive when pregnant (because of the increased blood flow to the pelvic area) so many find that sex in pregnancy is better than normal and (this thought creeps me out a wee bit) your baby probably enjoys you having sex as much as you do because your hormones reach him/her through the placenta. -------------  
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 1:18pm
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There is no physical reason why women in a normal pregnancy can't have sex. The times sex is inadvisable is:
Your midwife or doc will warn you if there are any risks. As far as positions go it's more about comfort than anything else. First 12 weeks anything goes but once your bump begins to form missionary is not going to be nice. I'd go for girl on top with him lying or sitting, doggy or spoon positions are good, or lying on table or other surface at the right level with him standing. Basically have fun finding different positions where there is no pressure on the bump and you'll be fine but if you don't feel like having sex, then don't. -------------
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Posted By: Emmecat
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 4:20pm
Yep I'm with the 'don't do it' camp Kaz.....only cos I've also had at least 2 m/cs and some ongoing spotting this pg.....so poor DP waited until about 9.5 weeks before I said lets give it a go..... and since then I haven't spotted or bled at all! So weird lol But most of the time I just don't feel like it with all the ms etc. I'm hanging out for the 12-13 week mark so I can get my mojo back!  -------------   http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Danaj
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 5:03pm
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Mel....What are these "Special Showers" you speak of? I have an idea but i'm told I have a very grubby mind lol.
I was a bit worried as DH is home on the 31st and my pubic bone area is killing me. I'm hoping he might freak out a little when he sees me LOL. I'm not sure if the size of my belly or the size of me a*s will put him of more!!!
How was the B'day Kaz? ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wyI1oWn/">
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Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 9:02pm
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I think the special showers are him taking care of himself whilst showering.
If your in pain then i'm sure he will understand. Hope you and Kent had a nice time Kaz (with or without the special cuddles) -------------
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Posted By: Mum2L
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 10:13pm
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My sex drive went out the window the minute I got morning sickness (which was at 4 weeks)... Had special cuddles after a dating scan at 8 weeks, but nothing after that, as DH is so scared he will hurt the baby!!! Plus we freaked out as I bled, and DH thought he had hurt the baby
But after my placenta praevia was confirmed at 18 weeks, DH and I were placed on strict orders that there is no special cuddles till at least 6 weeks after the baby is born. Which is ok with me, as my sex drive is still AWOL, and DH doesn't mind at all. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Danaj
Date Posted: 23 October 2008 at 8:20am
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Isn't it funny that some men just can't bring them selves to do it knowing there is a baby in there. My DH has a high drive and I seriously doubt he's going to be keen when he gets home.
I told him about the dimple theory on skype last night. He wasn't impressed and tried desperatley not to smile and show those massive dimples he has LOL!!! ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wyI1oWn/">
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 23 October 2008 at 7:58pm
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This is such a funny thread!
I have been or was very aware at the start of this preg, that I wasn't going to throw the idea of a shag out the window like I did last time as it ended up lasting too far after the preg, I guess I got scared? then I got too scared to get back on the bike! This time before DH went away we made an effort to have special cuddles more, interestingly my s.drive has been far higher this preg, just hope it holds up for when I see him next week! I'd heard that shallow penetration is better for bubs...still going to be a hell of a mind over matter thing isn't it! ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |