Age differences between you and Dh
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=21866
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Topic: Age differences between you and Dh
Posted By: sweetpea
Subject: Age differences between you and Dh
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 11:38am
| Ok ladeis was wondering if anyone else out there has an age difference between them and Dh of more than 10 years. We have 15 years im 30 & hes 45. If you have hows it working with your kids. we plan on starting a family next year we have no worries about the age thing but i was wondering how it works out for those who have. |
Replies:
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 1:42pm
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Ermmm there's only 1-2 year diff between me and dp, he's younger (22) I'm 24. My mum and dad have an age diff of 11 years i think, and they managed well, my mum was 30 when she had me, 35 when she had my sister, and 40 when she had my brother........and we all turned out pretty alright lolz. I also have 3 older sisters, and one older brother and they have always gotten on well with my dad. I think as long as you spend that time with them (kids) and laugh, play, etc etc it doesn't matter what age you are!! ------------- 
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 1:51pm
| We have a bit of an age gap but not quite as big as 10 years. We are 6 and 1/2 years apart. I think Eva is right, it shouldn't make a difference so long as you both spend quality time with the kids but that needs to happen in any relationship with or without the age gap. |
Posted By: pomikiwi
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 1:57pm
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I'm 30 and my DH is 40. It's a good age gap I think, but I do notice he complains more of aches and pains more since we've had kids, lol! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
DD-Carys Amelia 17.03.06 |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 1:58pm
I'm 7 years older than my DH  ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: pomikiwi
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 2:00pm
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^ ooo toy boy, lucky you! I obviously did it the wrong way round ------------- http://lilypie.com">
DD-Carys Amelia 17.03.06 |
Posted By: sweetpea
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 2:03pm
| i agree with kebakat and we would both spend the time with kids. The difference has never worried us and we don't intend to let it. Just curious of how its working in practice. I guess at the end of the day it will only effect the length of time the kids have with their dad but then nobody knows whats around the corner and anyone of us could die tomorrow. |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 2:08pm
We have five years between us (Im older) .. it works well .. he can run around and I can "do wise stuff"  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 2:15pm
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Dh is 38 and I'm 31...sometimes I notice it when he says ' I learnt from doing that I need to let you make your own mistakes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' grr but mostly it doesn't make a difference.. his Dad died at 40 so he is incredibly worried about turning 40 but on the whole I quite like the difference:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 2:25pm
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I am 33 and my hubby is 45. I am wife #2 and he has a 16 year old form his first marriage.
He reckons he is more patient and settled than he was as a first timer, and he is. He dosne't swea tthe small stuff. However, the "down sides" well, not downsides, but things we notice with the age gap and kids thing.. All his friends his own age have children 16 plus years old, so have moved waaay beyond the stage we are at now. So homes are not childproof and often visits are very stressful for me, (pools, nice ornaments, new homes/furniture etc,and I sometimes find, although they are lovely ladies, I have little in common with them as we don't have the bond of young children, I just get the "in a few years you'll be a bit more independant" comments. Not nasty, by the way. Often they forget about inviting him to stuff as they "assume" he is under the thumb with a small family (which is soo not the case, lol) When we catch up/do birthday parties etc with my friends, people I have met through the kids, he is often the oldest out of all of them and often has little or nothing in common with these guys and these guys are all very "involved" and "hands on" Rod is not so much. And not in a bad way, Meaning they go to every birthday party, weekend play dates etc. however, I do not make him come to birthday parties with me etc - but maybe I would if the other dads were his age? so, yeah, sometimes that is hard. Our non kid friends seem to have vanished off the face of the earth, even though we make alot of effort to catchup with no kids and no kid talk, but I guess life takes you on seperate paths. Other than that, I don't notice the age difference. I have always liked older men and have always dated men older than myself. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 2:31pm
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My BFF grew up with an age gap of 25 years between her dad and step-mum. I think they work well but mainly cos he acts younger and she acts older lol
I think maybe the only things you may notice are if his parents are a bit older as well, later on in life that might take a toll with them not being as available. But honestly I don't think age matters with anything, my DH doesn't fit in with a lot of other fathers even though we only have a 5 year age gap but that's because he's so shy he doesn't speak so people probably think he's a mute!
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Posted By: sweetpea
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 3:36pm
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Dh gets on with people of all ages are bit like me we always find a common thread somewhere. As for his parents they have both been dead for a while now his mum was 4 years ago and dad was 10 years so no issue there they are however all ways with us at least in spirit. niether of them were at our wedding earlier this year. So any kids we have will only have one set of grandparents which is better than none but they will have great aunts and uncles who they will see alot of one set in particular.
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Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 3:49pm
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DH and I have 7 years between us (I'm 23 and he's 30) and yeah we don't notice the age difference at all! Luckily though most of our friends are inbetween our ages, and are sorta mid/late 20s to mid 30s. DH does notice the age difference with some of my friends from highschool, but that's mostly cos they're in a different space at the moment - no kids, double income, parties sorta thing.
I guess the only thing you might come up against is people thinking that Daddy is Grandad.... which could get a bit annoying for your DH, but it can happen at any age. Once when my dad picked me up from kindy (he would have been about 38) someone called him Grandad.... must have been the big bushman's beard ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 4:10pm
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We have 9 years between us. DH has just turned 40, and I know that he is worried about starting our family so late. He gets concerned that he will be quite old at things like their 21st etc! Its no drama for me (we have been together for 12 years...so I was just a baby when we got together!!). We will be trying to finish the baby making within the next 5 years though.
------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Neeks
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 7:22pm
DH is 7 years older than me and that's quite a comfortable age gap if you ask me  -------------  
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Posted By: NovemberMum
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 8:12pm
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small age gap here...im just over 6 months older than my husband.
but dont notice the age gap ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 8:38pm
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there is a 4.7 yr age gap here me being older. only thing I have noticed is that with having more children - Dh is at prime age and me feel past it LOL
Honestly if it works for you's no matter what the age gap (although 16 and anything over 25 is wrong) Oh and who ever said about grandparents - even though Dh is younger his parents are older than mine (and not so young at heart either as in they don't act silly like my parents can LOL) ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 8:40pm
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I am one year older than my DH, I never think about him being younger though! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 9:29pm
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my dh is 6yrs1mth2days older than me LOL ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: Mikaela
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 9:41pm
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DH is 12 years older than me and we don't notice it at all. I'm 26 and he's 38. He's just as hands-on with DS as I am, maybe even more. His best mate also had kids relatively late, so his are only a couple of years older than ours which makes it easy visiting their place. ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com"> 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 9:46pm
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Im 26 , 27 in Dec, DF is 25 , but acts older than i do ...
i usually go for older guys, tho the oldest i got to was 31..and gosh he was gorgeous *sigh * ....he was also the most immature of my , er , flings ... ------------- 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 10:05pm
There's 22 years between Willie and I 
In some ways it is really obvious -he has a son my age, and my DSD is only 12 years younger than I am. He isn't very hands on as a dad, but that's his personality not his age, in fact he is more hands on with our four than he was with his older kids, I think coz he appreciates fatherhood more now that he has had time to grow into it. I don't really think about the age gap much, except when I'm doing stuff like filling in forms and I remember that he was born in the 1950's and I was born in the 1980's 
Oh and like Fattarts said, he doesn't tag along when I take the girls to birthday parties etc. but again, this is mostly just his personality rather than his age. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: sweetpea
Date Posted: 23 October 2008 at 11:24am
| thanks for all your feedback ladies. It interesting to read about everyone elses age gaps. wow Maya you have to win the award what a big age difference. So with that in mind how did you 2 meet? |
Posted By: fallen
Date Posted: 23 October 2008 at 11:28am
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15 years between myself and DP with me being the older one. It works for us though our families didn't approve at first.
There is 18 years between my father and his current wife. And 12 years between DPs father and his new wife. |
Posted By: Aprilfools
Date Posted: 23 October 2008 at 12:47pm
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I'm 26 and DH is 37 so there's 11 years between us. I've never given it much thought to be honest. We have similar ideas about family and all that sort of stuff and we're similar people in most ways.
Between the two of us we have huge age gaps between our friends, doesn't bother us, we either like someone or we don't. DH gets on really well with my younger brother and his mates, in fact I always have to drag him out of the party. I am 100% certain that DH will be a very hands on father as he is with everything else. He likes to know the ins and outs of everything. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 23 October 2008 at 1:38pm
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There is 1 year between DH and myself, I am 30 and he is 31 ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 23 October 2008 at 2:38pm
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DH is 2.5 years younger then me, but he's always been the more responsible one out of the two of us, he was a very mature 24 when we met.
I think its more about the stage of life you are at, I'm the last of my friends to have children, and most of DHs work mates have children already, some have teenagers and they're the same age as us. It will be interesting to see how we relate to other parents when we have our first and I start going to play group etc. As the average age to start being a mum a lot younger than 35 around here. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |