a tricky kind on tanty
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: Toddler Times
Forum Description: Is bubs growing up and getting into everything? How do you train them to use the potty? When do you start feeding solids? Share your tips and advice here!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=21869
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Topic: a tricky kind on tanty
Posted By: Andie
Subject: a tricky kind on tanty
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 1:31pm
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So Ella's two now and it recently dawned on her. *insert expletive here*
I'm having real trouble with his new kind of tantrum she's throwing, where she refuses to go anywhere I need her to - refuses to leave a room or enter one if I ask her, leave or get into the car, leave a shop that she didn't even want to be in, and on top of that she's a runner - runs to the other end of a shop, bolts in the street, and no amount of "Ella, STOP" helps. I'm still working on that by playing a 'stop' game with her but I probably need to do that more often. Trouble is, I'm 27ish wks pg and at a point now where it plain hurts to be carrying her, especially as she doesn't 'let' me hold or carry her when she's trying to escape, and I end up struggling to hold her like a rugby ball while she screams. She won't cross the road with me holding her hand (she does her staple move of drop and cry) and I've had to literally carry her by one arm across some roads because my arms were full and I couldn't get down to lift her or hold her. I'll go looking for a wrist-buddy lead that Ella isn't likely to pull off, but how do I deal with her lying down or running away constantly in the meantime, while I'm waiting for the 'training' to kick in? This constant scooping her up off the ground and having to carry her can't go on - each time it sets off a run of BH in my bump and for some reason, these ones are really uncomfortable, and that will only get worse, so that can't be my strategy anymore. ------------- Andie |
Replies:
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 1:40pm
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How about one of those back packs with the leash thing in it?
Can't really help much more, except maybe just loads of praise for holding hands, walking nice, lots of "good listening ella" etc. I would try just to ignore the tanties about leaving shops etc and stand a little way away and ignore her until she stops, she will probably just pick herself up and come with you. Good luck with the not picking up, i'm not supposed to pick Spencer up (according to my mw) but its a little impossible really. I get the BH from it sometimes to which is awesome  ------------- 
 
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 1:55pm
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Both of mine are runners too, I feel your pain!
I'm teaching Benjy now that if he doesn't behave and hold my hand, he has to go in the buggy. It is a bit of a hassle carting the buggy around with us if he's behaving and walking properly, but he's too heavy to carry and at least he is happy to 'help' me push it! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 2:35pm
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yep get a backpack teddy or even a wrist strap... some things arent worth negotiating. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 7:43pm
I'd definitely get a wrist strap but as far as the picking up goes, I'm afraid that's all I can (and could) think of . But you can grab the back of her clothes instead of a full body-grab if that's easier 
Otherwise you might have to do the "Ella, you need to walk nicely with Mummy or I will put you in the stroller/trolley" - we do that with Kryssi, she gets two warnings. Oh, and since she has older siblings she has recently decided that she prefers sitting in the back of the trolley than the "under 2 years seat" LOL! -------------  |
Posted By: katie1
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 8:10pm
Have Oliver and Ella been having wee conversations?  I have had the same issue for the last part of my pregnancy and sometimes just have to pick him up even though I know I shouldn't. I have been putting him in the buggy again heaps and giving him a snack to eat to distract him. It isn't great as he doesn't like being in there for long so I can't do a nice leisurely shop. Sometimes I just wait and do things in town when I have a friend or someone looking after him. it makes it hard doesn't it but I think you just have to try and look after youself and limit the lifting as much as you can - easier said than done though!
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Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 8:44pm
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short reply earlier due to baby girl on knee.
I have on occasion literally dragged gabriel, when he was younger, through the mall. he refused to get up and i was trying to juggle him and a baby too so just took him by the arm and walked...he wouldnt walk so was dragged. (not ideal tho i know for outside). I think i did it twice. gabriel was a runner too and it wasnt until he got older and could understand that it stopped so i think you are better off just putting her in the buggy. Non negotiable. another idea: maybe instead of carrying or trying to juggle her across the road you tell her - "hold my hand or we stay here." even if you have to put down your bags or whatever else you have and just wait till she holds your hand. i do that with the boys...no one crosses a road without holding me or the pushchair and if they refuse we just stand there! we never stand for long tho. i have seen wrist straps in kmart. i had one i got from emma, it was a lovely pink...i remember once going to a market and boys arguing over who got to wear it, cause they both wanted to and no one wanted the pushchair! if you want i can check if emma doesnt want it and send it down! ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 22 October 2008 at 9:54pm
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Have you still got it Deb? Coz if so by all means send it down, I have the monkeys for the gremlins.
Ella sounds just like Mercedes, the other day I dragged her out of Maya's gym class screaming her head off coz she wasn't allowed to join in, I was worried I'd dislocate her shoulder. And her favourite word is No. No I won't hold your hand to go across the road. No I won't get in my carseat. Pretty much No I won't do anything I don't want to do/you want me to do. I wish I had some advice but in our house it's just a battle of wills and luckily for me I am bigger and stronger than her (and not heavily pregnant - that was uber tough!) so if push comes to shove I throw her over my shoulder and carry her to wherever I need her to be. Not ideal coz I also have the other three to supervise but it is the simplest way of dealing with it. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: katie1
Date Posted: 23 October 2008 at 8:36am
| Oh don't you hate the "no no no s"!!! |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 23 October 2008 at 8:38am
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ahhhh. over the shoulder... that would save my poor bump some squeezing and kicking! Ta.
And I'm fully planning on buying a wrist strap for tethering Miss Ella, so if you really aren't using yours Deb, I'd love to borrow it! Thanks! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 23 October 2008 at 1:05pm
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Isla gets the firm lowered voice ' if u dont be a good girl and hold mummys hand then u will sit in the buggy',...Im not nice about it and she gets one warning,..then in the buggy with a snack or book to distract her. Then its " if u dont be a good girl then we will go home',..so far the threat has always worked, but I so would leave if I had to.
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Posted By: fallen
Date Posted: 29 October 2008 at 10:13pm
Ahh I had a runner too. I have (not so) fond memories chasing her down our street one morning because my brother had left the door unlocked. I live on a main road and got lots of honks from the passing motorists. She was naked and I was wearing a short, transparent nightie 
There was also the time she got loose in the Playcentre car park and I ended up chasing her up the road until two college kids grabbed her and held her till I caught up. It got so I put one of those harness things on before we went out the door of our house. I had a few negative comments, but for her own safety I had to do it. Good luck, they do grow out of it eventually! |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 29 October 2008 at 10:35pm
its on the way - well will be tomorrow...  ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker">
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Andie wrote:Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 30 October 2008 at 8:34am
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Ooohhh how exciting!! Thanks heaps, Deb! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: cat007
Date Posted: 03 November 2008 at 10:50pm
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I lifted my rather tall 18month old right up until the day I went into labour with the twins. I just made sure I bent my knees instead of bending over to lift him up. I have now just started the "running away" phase - a bit hard when I have a twin in each arm. I have purchased a harness and reins set and have just started using that. I would rather have him safe and put up with negative comments about the harness. (if anyone does say a negative comment about them - I wont be afraid to tell them how it is!) ------------- http://lilypie.com">  [/url http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 04 November 2008 at 1:52pm
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Wow Cat, that's amazing considering you had two in there at the time!! My issue isn't my back being strained, it's my tummy muscles and the way my toddler kicks away at my sides and tum - it sets off a charming run of rather uncomfortable BH's every time.
DH has put the hard word on her about kicking mummy's tummy during nappy changes, and whaddaya know, it's mostly worked! The running off in town I'll proudly fix with a harness! And as for the lying down, bribery... it's down to bribery. ------------- Andie |