Grandparents looking after ya kids
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=21982
Printed Date: 10 October 2025 at 3:52am
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Topic: Grandparents looking after ya kids
Posted By: kebakat
Subject: Grandparents looking after ya kids
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 5:36pm
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Does anyone have their parents look after their child on a regular basis??
I'm looking at my study options for next year and it's going to be more busy than this year so I'm going to need some daniel free time during the week. I can't really see any way that we can realistically afford to send him to daycare. Even for the minimum of 2 half days or one full day we don't have enough $ for, so the only real option is asking if my mum wouldn't mind looking after him for a day a week. My parents are very flexible because they have a home business and my mum does have quite a bit of spare time. I haven't approached her with this idea yet because I wanted to ask anyone on here something.. Do you pay them?? And if so how much? I don't mind paying my mum. I also thought I could take Daniel to her (shes 20 mins away) and I study there so she could still do things around her house. And she goes and does a lot of things for her parents as they are getting quite old and they would love to see Daniel more often too, every time he goes to visit my mum she takes him around there and they have a blast. |
Replies:
Posted By: katie1
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 5:43pm
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Mine have looked after Oliver heaps and Mum used to do one day a week while I worked. I asked her about money at the start and she was very clear that she didn't want it. I used to buy her things- flowers, nice lunches and at the end of each term a present of some sort. She would always tell me not to but it made me feel better to do that.
I think it is a nice arrangement if you can get it to work well. For us it was a win, win, win |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 5:45pm
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I know she would love it and she would love taking him around her to parents and to my cousins to see his little girl all the time.. I think she will say no to the money too, I like the idea of getting her a little present of some sort though!
I think I have a case of the guilts about asking her. I don't like having to ask them for things which is silly. |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 5:55pm
| My grandmother looks after Taine regulary. I don't pay her, but we bring over food that i say is for Taine, but obviously too much for one little boy. |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 5:59pm
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My Mum and Bens Mum have turns looking after the kids while I'm at polytech one afternoon a week. We don't pay them.
If you are entitled to the childcare subsidy I think that you can get your Mum to sign up with Porse or something and then she can get the childcare subsidy money. I'm not sure exactly how it works but my Mums friend was saying something about it. |
Posted By: baalamb
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 6:05pm
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Put forward your idea to her and then make it really clear that she has the option of whether she wants to or not.
Just want to say that people that have their parents/other family members available in these sorts of cases are extremely, extremely lucky and I wish I had the same! 
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Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 6:07pm
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I think it's a brilliant idea.
My MIL used to look after Hannah for an hour a day 3 times a week while I went to the gym. Now I go at different times, so she only looks after her once a week. But she also does a lot for us as I don't have a car - so she takes me to run errands and takes me out to the garden centre and other places for a nice walk around, just to get out of the house etc. I don't pay her - she wouldn't accept money. But I mow their lawn (it's huge and on a slope - too much for FIL with his two "bionic" hips). I get to plug into my ipod for an hour while I do their lawns, they get to play with Hannah. Win win! ------------- 
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 6:45pm
The outlaws used to have Nyah every Friday, from the time she was 9mths until she started school. I didn't pay them anything for it. My only grouch about it was she was a right little madam by the time I got her back. My rules didn't become their rules which frustrated me. They never put her down for a nap, did the minimal when it cam to TTing and of course I had to see them once a week!!! 
The only good thing for me at the time was that she was only in daycare for 4 days as opposed to a full week and it saved me money. I think if you are going to get your parents to have him, make sure you have clear rules, make sure they understand how important it is for him to maintain his routine. That they are willing to do swap days to fit in with your timetable. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 6:45pm
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My mum looked after my sisters kids and charged $10.00 per child per day (looked after them for three days a week). This gave mum some pocket money as she is retired. She was ok with this for a while but I think (my view anyway) that she got a bit pissed off after a while when my sister started buying lots of treat type stuff.....eg spare tv's, toys etc.
I do think it is different because you are studying but maybe ask your mum every so often how it is working for her, payment etc. Of course, there I was paying to have two kids at creche, paying $470 per week and trying very hard not to released the green eyed monster (which I didn't!!) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Alex 6 and Harry 8 |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 6:55pm
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Mel - I won't have any issue with his routine. She asks me to write it down for her when she has him for the day/night and sticks to it
Thanks for all your comments. Gives me a bit of food for thought before I approach her about it. |
Posted By: LJsmum
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 8:01pm
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That's great that your mum could be open to the idea of looking after him.
No family support here! Sorry slighly off topic..... but just got me thinking Does anyone else have no family support??? -------------  
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 8:28pm
Pick me! My parents are in Oz, as are my brothers and sister. Mum and Dad visit several times a year but they're not on hand for the practical stuff and I had to throw a giant tanty to get dad to agree to mum coming over for a weekend to help me out when the gremlins both had grommet/adenoid surgery and lil miss was only a few weeks old. Sometimes it really bugs me, like recently when Chiara was in hospital for 5 days it was a 'mare trying to organise care for the other 3 kids at home, but mostly we do OK. I have great friends and TBH they're more supportive than my family most of the time 
That said, my parents would love us to move to Oz to be closer. It's just never gonna happen! -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Milo1 wrote:Posted By: kabe
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 8:29pm
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I started back at work (3 days per week) earlier this month. My parents offered to mind E, until the school holidays start (DH is a teacher). They live in the Sth Island, so have had to move in with us, which presents some challenges!
However, it's been worth it, with the money we're saving and Eva is loving spending time with her grandparents. They haven't wanted any payment. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 8:45pm
We wont, our families are in Akl and Wgtn, we are in Feilding. I will probably talk to MIL about stuff though, she was a kindergarten teacher for 15 years so figure she knows more about children than I do. But the doesn't drive so can't be here to help on a regular basis. My own mother is deceased, and my Dad is getting a little older, he struggles with the noise my two little nieces make, not sure how he'd cope with a baby. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 8:47pm
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A friend of mine does pay her mum to look after her little girl, mostly I think cause her mum is on a sickness benefit and to help her out.
She's in Akl though, where daycare is expensive, and it works out more convenient to be with nana. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 9:00pm
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I don't either as we moved away from them this year. My parents are in Oz and my in laws are in Palmy - but we use them when we go to Palmy. I am sure your mum will love having him for those few days. If she won't take money take her car every now and then and put petrol in it - that way you are paying for something in a way. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 9:20pm
| When we have bubs, MIL is planning to be our "daycare centre" for however many days she can. She wouldn't hear of payment, it's her first grandchild and we're basically her only hope anytime in the future LOL we will get some things to her somehow though...just to say thank you. DF's parents are very very supportive that way. Mine, not so much, I can't see them babysitting ever I don't think. |
Posted By: Muz
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 9:30pm
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My mum looks after my 2 girls three afternoons a week so I can work, I put money straight into her back so she cant say no!! Its not the going rate for child care but it covers her petrol and bits and pieces she needs.
------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Lulu
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 10:06pm
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My Mum comes and stays the night every Thursday night and looks after my Daughter for the whole day on Friday. So we get to have 'date night' on Thursday, and I work on Friday. I pay her $80. She hates taking the money, but I figure that it costs her in petrol (we live about 1/2 an hour away) and I want it to be a 'business' arrangement where we both feel that we have obligations. This works well for us. ------------- Lou http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 27 October 2008 at 10:28pm
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My mum looked after C when i went to uni , I got the childcare subsidy and she worked under Porse .
Now i no longer get the childcare subsidy (because im no longer on the DPB) and I pay her $60 a week , it used to be $100 but i have dropped my hours . I have no problem paying her , there financial situation is not fantastic and it makes me feel better that i can give them something a week . Besides my parents have been so incredibly supportive of me from the day i announced I was pregnant with Caitlyn , that i feel i owe them something anyway . Mum's a qualified nanny anyway , so kids are her forte , and cailtyn had a very busy schedule of mainly music , playgroup and swimming lessons , and she and mum have a very close bond . Talk to your mum Stacey , im sure the two of you can come to some arrangement ------------- 
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Posted By: susieq
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 8:36am
| Thanks Kelly and I hope if you need it I will be able to look after bubba part time if you ever need it |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 9:44am
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No support here either, we live too far away. If we were closer I think I would be fighting the grandmothers off and I cant imagine ever being allowed to pay them.
That said, Mum plans to be around for the birth of "Peppercorn" and when she goes home MIL will come down. They both came down a week apart when I was inthe first tri and incredibly tired. |
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 10:01am
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My mum has just started looking after the kids 2 days a week as our childcare bill was getting ridiculous ($385/week).
She lives about 1/2 an hour away and stays a couple of nights a week. We give her $50 to help cover petrol and just a little extra money for her, although knowing my mum she will probably spend that money on the kids anyway! She is also really good about asking how we want things done in regards to the kids. Plus even though I tell her not to bother, she does a bit of housework too!  ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 7:47pm
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I'm really lucky, childcare and early childhood education is the family business.
I truly admire those who do it without family support, big ups to you, that takes strength!  -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: SuziE
Date Posted: 28 October 2008 at 8:13pm
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My mum looks after son 5 days a week. She wont accept payment as such but we have come to an arrangement. We pay for her big expenses that come up like car rego and warrent, tyres and repairs, we shouted her flights to sydney, got her a new cellphone, medical bills etc. There are the sneaky little things I do that she didnt agree to though, like I know her hairdresser so I pop in and put money down for her next cut and colour, or I 'borrow' her car and 'accidently' fill it up, or I top up her cellphone .. .. .. :)
------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Two Shoes
Date Posted: 29 October 2008 at 1:21am
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When baby arrives, and after some time if I go back to work part-time, I think my MIL would be obliging to help out with some child care, but obviously I'll cross that path when I come to it. My DH's family are very supportive and we will be living in the same city, so are very fortunate about that. My family live @ 1.5 hrs drive away, so I very much doubt they will be helping in that way.
------------- http://img73.imageshack.us/my.phpimage=william23098daysold.jpg" border="0"> 
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Posted By: Nic01
Date Posted: 29 October 2008 at 9:47am
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My parents look after our kids while we work. We've tried to offer them money towards expenses etc but they won't hear of it, so we take them out for dinner every now & then which they seem to enjoy. When they went to Sydney a while back we shouted them to a show there. We just do little things like that to try & show them how much we appreciate them doing it. I keep asking if they're still ok with the arrangement & to tell us if it gets too much, but to be honest they both love having the time to hang out with their grandkids & it's awesome to see what a close relationship the kids have with their grandparents. They love them to bits. Mum is great too & sticks to my routine really well. We'd be totally lost without all their support. I honestly don't know how you guys with no family support cope!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 29 October 2008 at 9:57am
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There's a 3 hour crossover between when DH leaves for work and when I get home. My MIL stays with Michaela during that time. DH puts Michaela to bed just before he leaves and she usually gets up just before I get home so MIL actually has her awake for an hour max but often Michaela doesn't actually wake up until I'm home. We pay MIL $50 per fortnight which is a pittance, even taking into account the fact she's looking after a sleeping child majority of the time, but she wanted to do it for free and it took some convincing to get her to accept any money. -------------  
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 29 October 2008 at 11:11am
| I thought everyone is entitled to 9 hrs free childcare a week for under 2's? It might be income tested, dunno. Its great tho! |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 29 October 2008 at 11:27am
We're not entitled to anything  -------------
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Posted By: Karen Sweatman
Date Posted: 29 October 2008 at 1:02pm
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Grannies are GREAT for looking after kids, go for it and ask them!
There is no possible way that we could afford to put our kids in daycare. We hit both of our parents up to help us out and they were over the moon to be asked. They love coming and looking after them and spending time with them. My mum looks after both the kids on Mon & Tues (she drives from coromandle to auckland 3hrs, arrives on sun night and drives home tue night) and hubby's mum looks after them on Thu. I didn't have any worries with my mum but i was a bit hesitant about hubby's mum as she is 68 and i just wasn't sure how it would all go but she is fantastic. And the best thing is the kids (22 months & 7 months) both absolutely love there nana & grandma which is the best thing ever! ------------- 
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 29 October 2008 at 1:11pm
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I read an article (in treasures I think) ages ago about a nana from Dunedin who flys up to Akl on a Sunday night and stays through until Wednesday to take care of her grandchild. The cost of flights (booked well in advance so they get the best deals) is cheaper than paying for childcare in Akl and the nana loves spending the time with her grandchild. -------------
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 29 October 2008 at 1:12pm
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Another one here with "no family support" - although my Mum is coming over a couple of weeks after my due date and will help out for 2-3 weeks. DHs parents are coming the following month.
My grandma looked after me and my sister and brother when we were kids (mum's mum). I loved going round to their place and we did so much fun stuff. Mum's youngest brother is only 8 years older than me so he was around a lot too and is like a big brother to me. Grandma taught me to read too! I'm sad that my kids probably won't have the same bond with my parents although if we move in the next couple of years it will be to be closer to family. ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 October 2008 at 1:21pm
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My Mum works fulltime so I have noone to look after him and have got my aunty(who can do a few hours once a week )to help with him.. we would get subsidy at childcare but I don't want him in full time preschool.. makes me a bit envious I don't have the same situation as you guys!!:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 29 October 2008 at 1:22pm
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Hi there...didnt read what others have said but my Aunty looked after Z when I went back to work after 3 months. I paid her each week....but thats because she didnt have a job and had no income and has two kids.
If my Mum ever looked after her I wouldnt pay her....well she would never take my money! (they dont really need it...) However like what other have said, I would buy her some thing nice every so often.. Best thing would be to ask really! I am sure all would fall in place! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 29 October 2008 at 3:40pm
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oh and I do pay my aunty.. ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: LJsmum
Date Posted: 29 October 2008 at 6:43pm
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I don't feel so alone now!
DH parents live in tauranga and would love to spend more time but both work and try to come up when they can. My parents see DS about once a week when we visit as a family. Great news though they are going to look after DS so we can go to the parent and child show for a few hours so that is the best news!!!I suppose it's not really that bad after all. I would love to leave DS with mum instead of him going to daycare but that's not an option.. Oh well .. poor me!!! -------------
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