Cold feet - help!
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22648
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Topic: Cold feet - help!
Posted By: pikelets
Subject: Cold feet - help!
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 7:03pm
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Ok, so I start work in 7 weeks!!!
A few months ago I was looking forward to it. I love DS to bits but I really think (or thought) that work would be great for me. I spoke to work and they agreed I could work for 4 days for 3 months. DS will only be in daycare part-time as DH has days off during the week. I am freaking out as I have to sign my contract next week and I now am having second thoughts. I have to work for financial reasons so I can't just stay home. DS is 9 mths old and it is such a great stage now. I am going to miss DS soooo much and I know DH will be looking after him during the week half of the time, but it's not me and I feel oh so guilty and like I will be missing out. I don't want to regret it down the track. I don't have parents to help with daycare so I thought maybe if I become a Porse educator or similar than I can stay home and look after DS, not have to pay childcare but still be earning. I am guessing it would be a huge pay drop but I make up for it as not paying for daycare/petrol. DH told me I am scaring him as he said I am turning down an awesome job for an awesome company and we need a roof over our head and doesn't know how consistent/secure the money would be if I did home childcare. Are there any Porse/Barnados educators out there?? What is the pay like? How do you find it? Did other Mums have cold feet when they had to return back to work?? Did you go through with it or pull out last minute. Am I just freaking out at the last minute?? Help! I wish I had a crystal ball so I could look into the future for each option!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Replies:
Posted By: Henna79
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 7:11pm
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Hi Star,
I was a home educator for a different company and can give you some idea of what you need to know. First of all the pay was terrible ($4.25 an hour) and so it doesn't really go that far. I did enjoy it and am sort of thinking about getting back some kids but to be honest I don't think it would be the same now I have my own. I'm not sure on the 'quota' of kids you are allowed but at my company you would only be allowed 3 others and can do whatever hours you want. I hope this is some sort of help and that you come to a decision that makes you all happy. Good luck |
Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 7:23pm
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Hi Heather,
$4.25 per hour! Is that legal?? I saw an ad and it said up to $20 per hour so I thought it was maybe depending on experience but maybe it depends on how many kids! Thanks for your reply.  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: kakapo
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 7:35pm
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Yep, had cold feet when returning to work .... had hoped to have a full year home with DS, but ended up returning to work full time when he was 8 months old. DH was hanging out to be a SAH Dad and was really sick of his job, so I agreed to go back early (we'd already decided DH would be a SAHD before TTC). I didn't anticipate feeling that I'd much rather stay home full-time and dreaded returning to work at first. But actually it is fine now, and I really enjoy my job again and the social aspect of working with lots of other adults. I talk to DH on the phone a couple of times a day and never stay late if I can avoid it. I'm home between 4.30-5pm each day and look after DS until he goes to bed at 7pm. And I usually look after him a lot during the weekend too. Sure, I do feel like I miss out on some things ... and if we could afford to, I'd stay home in a heartbeat. But I think DS gets the best of both worlds and he seems perfectly happy. And TBH, I'm actually far more motivated to spend quality time with DS now I no longer see him 24/7. Good luck with your decision - it is really hard when your heart wants one thing and your head (and DH |
) is telling you something else. Perhaps you could try going back to work for 3 months and see how you feel at the end of that time? Afterall, you could always have the Porse educator job as a Plan B option.Posted By: aussiegirl
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 7:37pm
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I am pretty sure it is $4.25 per child per hour. The "up to $20 per hour " would be for 4 children, but as you would have your DS, you would only get paid for up to 3 other children.
Good luck, it is scary thinking about work and leaving our precious children in the care of someone else! -------------  Mum to Hayley **30.6.08
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: shaz
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 8:58pm
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I'm sure what you are feeling is pretty normal for most Mum's who have to work.
I went back to work when DS1 was 9 months (because we were pretty desperate back then) anyway I started doing 3 days a week until she was 1 then back to full time. She started DC at that time as DH also worked full time. I think it took me a few weeks longer than DS1 to get used to it (she settled really fast) but once you are back into the routine and the money finally starts going in it does get better. I guess it also depends on how much you need the money and if you can survive on what you would get as a home carer. It's such a personal choice, you have so much to weigh up but I'd suggest you try and be really open and discuss all your worries with your DH, sometimes just telling them can really help. IMHO edited to try and make more sense..... ------------- Mum to Natasha Aroha 9/12/1995, Alexandra Makareta Waimarie 22/4/1998 and....Alyssa Frances Hopaea 18/03/2007 
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Posted By: AuntieSarah
Date Posted: 22 November 2008 at 10:33pm
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Star I'm a Programme Tutor for PORSE here in Hastings. Here our educators earn usually around $6 per hour per child, I know it can be around $8 per hour per child in Wellington so likely to be the same in Auckland. You can have up to 4 preschoolers in your care, and only 2 of them can be under 2 year olds.
So if you had your son and 3 others at $6 each per hour (we'll say $6 to be on the safe side!) that's $18 per hour. The first $3 per child per hour is tax free, so you're only paying tax on half your income instead of the whole lot. You also get a tax rebate at the end of the year based on your house value or how much rent you pay. Of course you wouldn't be paying for external childcare for your son then which is a big expense to save on, especially in Auckland! I guess the biggest problem with it is that it is NOT guaranteed income, you're not necessarily going to fill up with children immediately and if one of them leaves there's not always going to be another to immediately take their place. My advice would be if you go this route to do the level three training (which is free if you're an educator) and get through the approved and certified stages - makes you more likely to get children (though of course still not guaranteed!) Maybe give the North Shore PORSE office a call and have a chat to one of the consultants, they'll be able to give you an idea of how many families they have looking for childcare at the moment etc. Though having said that, end of the year is always a bit slower for things like that so might pick up a bit more in the new year. Sorry this has turned into a total novel Hope it's helpful! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 23 November 2008 at 9:28am
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Hey Star i have been back at work for almost a year, starting 2 days a week and recently up to 3. For me personnaly it was grea, adult company, using my brain and being good at something. Otherwise i feel guilty all the time. i still quite often cry as I walk to work some mornings are good some bad. Fay goes to a PORSE carer, we pay $7.50/hour if that helps, and i can see the benefits of this, she is social, she is going tonew places and has made friends that she would not have done if i had stayed at home. also we can pay a little more mortgage off each week than the minimum so are getting ahead.
I guess what i am saying is, for me i hate working and being away from her, but for my family the pros are huge, financially, socially and developmentally fro Fay, also for my relationship with neil, i can talk to him about so many other things now, instead of how many nappies I cahnged in a day ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 23 November 2008 at 11:05am
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Ring up Porse and go along to one of their wee meetings. They let you know what the pay is like and how many kids they have needing carers.
I just wanted to say I don't think it gets any easier as they get older either, I'm going to study full time next year and I'm terrified of putting my 3 year old into daycare. I think its normal to be worried, if the porse thing doesn't work out you could always give it a trial run and if its just not working you can always leave your job. |
Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 23 November 2008 at 6:54pm
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Thank you all for your advice and kind words. I was freaking out big time last night!
I think that Porse is not an option moneywise so I guess I will start work, see how it goes and then can rethink options from there. Im glad to hear I'm not the only one who goes through this and it does get easier. Plus I think you are right Rach saying that it doesnt get easier when they are older either. I'm sure it would suck no matter what age you return to work. Oh well, I will make sure I have LOTS of tissues in my car each day...... ------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 23 November 2008 at 8:21pm
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Are you going back full or part time? What about approaching your work and asking them about doing Flexi Hours? It might be worth asking, so at least you get to spend some time with your son, and also get to have some income.
http://www.dol.govt.nz/worklife/flexible/definitons.asp - Flexi Hours ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 24 November 2008 at 9:39pm
I am starting off with 4 days but after 3 months I am thinking I may ask to leave early every day  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 25 November 2008 at 4:54pm
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I had to go back to work with Z when she was 3 months old and I cried every night leading up to the day. But once I was at work I was fine! I missed her terribly but I had to go back home on each of my breaks to B/Feed her...so I got to see her.
With this bubby I feel crap but at 6 months I am coming back to work and tho at this time I said full time I might come back 4 days to start with....we will see! Its hard ...always but once you are at work you get use to it!! Big Hugs! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 25 November 2008 at 8:22pm
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Thanks Roksana. I hope it will work out well for you too.
------------- http://lilypie.com">
3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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