Realationships while dealing with PND
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Living with Post Natal Depression
Forum Description: Around one in ten NZ mothers will be diagnosed with PND in the first year of their babies life. Find support and encouragement and share ideas for coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22677
Printed Date: 10 July 2025 at 6:40am
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Topic: Realationships while dealing with PND
Posted By: mummytobesep08
Subject: Realationships while dealing with PND
Date Posted: 23 November 2008 at 10:15pm
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How did you guys manage your relationships while dealing with PND?
I'm having a really tough time with DH at the moment. Tonight hes spending the night on the couch. This is the first time its happened in our relationship as I'm really big on 'not letting the sun go down on your anger' but tonight there was no way of resolving it and it was better that he left the room for the night. Every day hes home it mucks up me and Charli's routine...or it feels like it. Its horrible. I'm so sh*tty and unsettled when hes here and I feel so guilty when hes around like "oh I'm so bad making him hold/look after the baby for a bit". Plus this weekend hes been such a whimp. First its "ow my poor neck I need to spend heaps of money on a massage. Well geez I egt a sore neck/shoulders/back from carting the lil miss around but I dont even ask him for a massage! Then it "im dying of the flu!" bullsh** its the friken man flu get over it! Bad timing too cuz this weekend Im meant to be on bedrest and 3 meals a day to help build my milk supply (as it was so low Charli needed to feed every hour- day and night!) and DH said he could help so my mum went away for the weekend. BUt hes just sat here moaning so Ive had to do all his work on top of everything else I need to do 
Im so sick of him. Im actually looking forward to him starting his 6 day working weeks and working til 10pm. Itll be great not to have him around! My question is- is this a normal just-had-a-baby thing that couples go through? or could my PND be making things worse? (or is he just an ass lol) Does it get better? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
Angel babes '07 & '10- <3 <3 |
Replies:
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 24 November 2008 at 8:34am
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Oh hugs hun.
Unfortunatly I could have written all that myself 
I used to get soooo wound up when DH was home, and get so mad that he would decide what he wanted to do that day so I always felt that nothing was in control, my routine was totally imteruppted etc. We finally sore my phycologist together, and he basically just pointed out what idff sort of people we are, and how those personalitys are good for each other. DH is laidback as, and Ive always been the one that organises, does bills etc- I need his to calm me down, and he needs me to get things done, lol! I had to really consciously try and relax and enjoy it when he was home, and try not to let it bother me not keeping to our usual rountine. Things are so much more relaxed between us now. I think even without pnd, couples go through a defianate time of change in their relationships. The new baby needs so much care and time, that its no doubt that the womens attn is now referred to the baby, and with added sleep deprivtion etc, little time and energy is left to put into the relationship. It WILL get better. But pnd will be making this all worse too Im sure. I cant remeber if u have started seeing someone at mmh. I know your Mum was putting on you not to, but Im sure it will really help you. 
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