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parenting through separation

Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
Forum Description: For mums, dads, parents-to-be, grandparents, friends -- you name it! And you name the topic you want to chat about!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=22773
Printed Date: 16 October 2025 at 3:06pm
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Topic: parenting through separation
Posted By: chonni
Subject: parenting through separation
Date Posted: 27 November 2008 at 10:45am
hi i was just woundring for those of you out there, how you deal with this how hard was it for you? how man days a week does the other parent get the child?

how ou deal with things like cloths and all of that?

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Replies:
Posted By: mamanee
Date Posted: 27 November 2008 at 11:39am
When my partner and I weren't together we used to arrange for him to have Sam every second weekend and maybe for an evening each week.

It was hard letting my baby go when he had him, but I just had to trust that everything was fine.

For clothes, I just used to pack a bag with everything he needed for the weekend and his dad had spare nappies/wipes and clothes handy at his place too.

My sons father is now in Australia so I don't have to worry about that ever again, and I'd be pleased if I never saw his face ever again.


Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 27 November 2008 at 2:06pm
my daughter's father and I broke up when I was 7 weeks pregnant, but we made a decision early on to be on good terms (im very lucky, her dad is one of the good guys)
in the beginning she went to him every fortnight, then it would be every weekend.
When she was 3 however, he and his wife moved to Wellington , and she would go down with his mum 2 a year, THEN they moved to the Gold Coast ...which suits me fine ..means when she goes over, DF and I go over to , free accomadation , yay ! (or else my mum or his mum takes her)

Our situation isnt normal ,we are one of the fortunate ones, if its at all possible to keep on good terms with your ex ,then do ...good terms doesnt have to mean best friends, it can just mean civil and polite infront of baby
And remember that no matter what hes like with you , or towards you , he is still babies father, and one day she'll get to make her own mind up about him, but in the meantime , when shes young , keep neutral about him in front of her ...I dont mean go on about how great he is etc , just keep your own thoughts about him to yourself , your child doesnt need to hear it ..my friend is always bitching and moaning about her ex in front of her daughter, and now her daughter reveals that she is too worried to ask about her dad , because her mums negativity made her feel SHE was bad for being related to him ..its amazing what children can take in when we think they dont understand, and children tend to put the blame on the parent thats there ...when they are ready to understand , they will see for themselves if their father is no good .

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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 27 November 2008 at 2:11pm
in terms of clothes etc, C's dad had his own clothes there , as well as bottles and toys etc

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