opinion, please. worry-wart??
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Topic: opinion, please. worry-wart??
Posted By: Andie
Subject: opinion, please. worry-wart??
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 7:17pm
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OK so not for the purposes of swaying my opinion ('cause I'm comfy with it), but more so hubby and I know how this compares to other mums, would you say I'm a worry-wart (too safety conscious) or need to loosen up? honest opinions, please!!
The sticking points are: leaving a 25-month-old in the bath by herself while parent in another room for anywhere from a couple of minutes to 10 or so. Letting the toddler play outside (while parent in the house, unable to see outside), on either the front deck or in the back yard while the gates are open (we share a driveway with 2 other houses, on a reasonably busy road, and Ella doesn't obey "stop" or "come here"). I'm being told I'm a worry-wart whenever these situations strike and I get up to fix them... It's obvious what I think, but maybe the opinions of a fair few other parents might either stop me having to hear that I'm "overprotective" yet again, or if it all swings the other way, I'm screwed! Ha ha. Weigh in. ------------- Andie |
Replies:
Posted By: Brenna
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 7:23pm
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Andie, I never leave Brenna in the bath on her own or out the front on her own if the gate is open (actually I don't even like her being outside on her own at all really as there are too many things she could hurt herself on).
I don't think you are being a worry-wart at all!!!!!!! It's better to be safe than sorry |
Posted By: popcorn
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 7:24pm
| i say better safe than sorry for both of those things! |
Posted By: LJsmum
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 7:46pm
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I am the same never ever let Luke go anywhere where I can't see him you just never know.
Your not over protective or a worry wart! You are a mum who wants the best for her daughter. I would never forgive myself if something happened to Luke...... Did you see the post on the in the news thread a while ago where the children nearly got taken. mum had gone around the back to hang out the washing or something and the kids where playing in the front yard they had gone out the gate to park across the road and a man approached them they were older 4ys and 8 yrs i think. But still Mum had no idea they where there. Scary ah.... you are right  -------------  
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 7:51pm
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ooh I don't think I'd be comfortable with either of those situations. -------------  
 
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Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 8:04pm
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Andie, I'm with you and the others on this too.
I don't leave either of the kids alone in the bath for more than a couple of minutes at the most, even though I can generally hear them chattering and giggling away. I can see them from the living room and even then I don't like being too far as Benjy is a climber and our bathroom floor is tiled, potentially very nasty! As for playing outside unsupervised, in your situation, no way! There is just way too much that could go wrong and 2 year olds just don't have any sense of danger. So not worth the risk for whatever it is he wants to do inside! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 8:09pm
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I don't think of myself as very overprotective but i DO know my children. If either child is outside and gate is open, they will go out said-gate- regardless of whether someone is with them or not. in fact Jake escaped from a locked gate while I was mowing the lawns. In your situation, i would trust Jake....kinda and no way would Taine be trusted.
As for the baths, I do leave the kids, BUT that was from about 2.5. and only for a few mintues, bnever if they were bathing together, and depending on the depth. They are both singers so when they stopped singing, I would go to check. so, no in those situations, I DON"T think you are being overprotective at all |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 8:14pm
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I wouldn't leave kids in the bath alone, not at that age, regardless of how deep it is.
If the gates were closed and I knew that the child was very safe within the home boundaries, I'd be quite happy for them to play outside (only around the back though, not the front of the house near the road). If they were open - I don't think so. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Kels
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 8:30pm
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I must be a worry wart too because I dont let Alize do any of the above either. I think leaving them unsupervised in those situations is very unsafe, and the toddlers are at risk of death in both situations IMHO to put it bluntly. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Busy mum to Miss 15yrs, Miss 10yrs and Master 4yrs |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 8:34pm
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We dont even leave Isla in the bathroom alone while the bath is running, let alone leave her by herself when shes in it,..infact she always baths with DH. I have left her with the shower running while Ive gone to get her towel/clothes etc for a few mins max.
We let Isla play in the gated backyard alone, but she usually wants me with her, so is not normally alone for long anyway. If she is outside alone I dont leave the kitchen area- so that I can still see some of the backyard- when her swings etc are from the window, and I can hear her if she calls me,..and if she in the sandpit and I cant see her from the window, I go out every 5 mins or so. We would NEVER let her go on the driveway by herself. I am always closer than 1 m from her when we are out the front. |
Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 8:42pm
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Idon'e think your overprotestive at all we Never leave James outside by himself as we can't see anywere from inside and they only time I have left him in the bath was when I forgot a flannel most of the times 1 of us are in there with him anywhere. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: Richtea
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 9:03pm
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I don't think you sound overproctective.. just sensible!! - you have to do what feels right for you. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 9:07pm
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I will leave any of our girls in the bath basically after 12 months or so, so long as the water isn't too deep (deep enough to wobble them) and they are confident sitters. Usually the first time is when I suddenly remember power or jammies or a nappy that I need - so I run! LOL. At my girls' ages I am confident about them in the bath but I always remain well within ear shot and I will pop my head in from time to time - especially because they usually bath in pairs. (Actually pairs are easier because they laugh and chat and therefore you know that they are above water!!) I always seem to turn the stereo down whenever someone is in the bath.
We have a fully fenced backyard (thanks to our neighbour who made a gate for us!) so unless one of the gates are opened, the only way for the girls to get outside is the front door. As a general rule if we are leaving the front door open and not there (ie for air), we close the child gate across it. -------------  |
Posted By: SMoody
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 9:36pm
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I must admit lately I did start leaving McKayla in the bath by herself for a minute or so and keep on talking to her ect. And as soon as she doesnt answer I go back. Must be about 2 min at most at a time. Usually when I run to the bedroom to get dressed and then come back.
As for the playing in the yard not seeing part. No way as our gate is close to the street and there is just no way. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 11:03pm
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We'll leave Maddie in the bath to run and grab a towel or flannel or something but I'm not comfortable leaving for extended periods of time.
We also have a fenced backyard and I let Maddie play out there without us watching her but I wouldn't let her out unsupervised if she could get to the road. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 29 November 2008 at 11:34pm
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Caitlyn I leave in the bath now...but this is my child who can dive and swim in 8ft pools....however I dont leave for very long because...damn they make a lot of mess ! "oh mum ...I thought the floor was dirty "
But when she was younger, no way . As for being outside, in your situation , nah uh, too many things that could go wrong , a car could come down the drive, Ella could get up to the busy road , she could put something in her mouth , etc etc. I think your just being sensible , better safe than sorry ------------- 
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Posted By: LeahandJoel
Date Posted: 30 November 2008 at 9:10am
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Leah gets left in the bath with the shower running so I can grab bits and pieces I might have forgotten, or to get the phone to take in, things like that. But thats all, to the point the other night I BF Joel sitting in the hallway watching her through the open door as there is no room to BF in the bathroom! We have a large farm type gate on our drive which is closed at all times when we are home. I can stay inside and know she can't get out. We are down a shared driveway but ours is the last house and we back on to a reserve/park but our fence is 1.8m high so noone can see in and she just runs around and around the house. -------------  
 
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Posted By: McPloppy
Date Posted: 30 November 2008 at 9:39am
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I would leave DS in the bath at two to play by himself but always keep an ear out for him and we were always in there if it was quiet.
As for leaving him outside with the gate open by himself? NEVER and i am a pretty cruisy mum who gives my children quite a bit of freedom. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 30 November 2008 at 9:58am
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i'm not sure if i would leave charli in the bath by herself or not......she's always with jack so it's a little different.
i probably would leave her while i went to get a towel or if i was in her bedroom because it's right beside the bathroom but i would never leave her in the yard if i knew there was a way out onto the driveway!!!  
your not being a worry wart andie, you are being a safe, loving mum  ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 30 November 2008 at 11:23am
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Only leave the boys in the bath by themselves if I have to get something.
As for leaving them outside, sure if its enclosed but otherwise no. I read in the newspaper that a three year old got over to her neighbours place, somehow managed to open the gate and drown. Its just not worth it. Harry is now five so I give him a little flexibility outside but still keep an eye on him where I can ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Alex 6 and Harry 8 |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 30 November 2008 at 12:16pm
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james is 3 and a half i have only just strated leveing him in the shower by himself for a couble of min always keping a ear out for him and i would never let him play by himself outside with a fence open he got out of our old house with his cousin and we found them being dragged of the road by a very heavley prggent woman on a very busy road ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: katie1
Date Posted: 30 November 2008 at 1:42pm
I would NEVER do any of those things. I am with you! Good luck convincing DH! 
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Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 30 November 2008 at 2:43pm
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I leave Kahtrell in the bath by himself......well it's not actually a bath..but a makeshift one...ok its a tiny paddling pool that fits at the bottom of the shower lolz. He always makes a lot of splashing and noises. I still check on him every few minutes but I know he's safe in there. Our section in fully fenced with the majority of it being front yard... he loves being outside and I have no problems with him being outside by himself, I always check up on him...and usually find him sitting in the car or playing in the garden. (on one occasion he was underneath the house! lol) we always shut the front gate (which is a farm like one too ) and on the occasion when it has been open, Kahtrell will actually shut it himself (and then someone has to click the chain on).
We all know how safe our homes are and how comfortable we feel in letting our children do things. We live next to a main road so it this place wasn't fully fenced and kinda tall fences (trellised fence) I'd definitely be more eagle eyed when Kahtrell is outside, but I'm confident in his abilities and in my home's security. ------------- 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 30 November 2008 at 3:01pm
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I leave my boys in the bath together by themselves. But I don't leave the house and the bathroom is pretty much next to the lounge where we are, and usually we are getting PJ's and stuff ready so walking past and looking in. OUtside - I let Andrew go out there by himself, big difference here thou we all know each others kids so if one is in danger we let them know, and it is a small community here too. Josh isn't allowed out there by himself (althou he tries) as he doesn't understand the road mean cars. As I know where you live, you have every right to be a bit upset with that one. That road is damn busy. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 2:46pm
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Thanks, everyone... very helpful!
Becks you're giving up smoking soon?? YAY! Congrats! Oooohhhh I wish you the best of luck for it (and may all the smokers near you not accidentally tempt you!). ------------- Andie |
Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 5:39pm
Bath from about 2.5 mine also bath together so they chat so you can hear what is going on , fully fenced section which they are allowed to roam, big gates that kids can not open but can hear and see from all windows in the house. You are so not being a worry wart chick ------------- 
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Posted By: Millie1976
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 6:56pm
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I am with everyone on this too. I never leave Ollie unattended in the shower or the bath. There have been times when I have needed to run out and grab a flannel but that only takes a few seconds and always get DH to keep an eye/ear out.
We don't have a fully fenced section so I always go outside with Ollie and we also have a shared driveway with 5 other houses so I definitely don't let OIlie near the driveway. You are definitely not being over-protective at all. ------------- Sebastien 2 years old Olivier 3 3/4 years old |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 9:35pm
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I wouldn't leave Spencer in the bath for even 2 secs unattended, he is slightly insane and has no fear when in the bath though, but if you watched 60mins earlier you would have heard that they can drown in 5cm of water so leaving them in the bath unattended is just stupid in my opinion and really why would you need to, you can't forget anything that important, worse comes to worse they can get out the bath without a towel and really they are in there how long, 15-20 mins, is not a big ask to be in there with them for that tiny amount of time.
I also wouldn't let him play in the garden on his own, the front is totally not fenced and although the road is quiet I can't ever see him being allowed to play on his own out there, would only take running after a ball at the wrong moment and splat!!!!. The back is fully fenced and the gate is very large and sturdy (good enough keep our dogs in) but it will be a long long time before he is out there alone, there are just too many things he can hurt himself on and also the dogs are out there and he will never be left unsupervised with them. I don't think you are being a worry wart, why wouldn't you keep an a close eye on your precious child. You don't need to stand over her while she plays outside but close enough to direct away from danger is sensible not worry warting. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 10:39pm
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Nah you are not a worry wart, you are just fully aware of potential dangers ------------- Mummy of Two Boys B: 2004 K: 2007 |
Posted By: Jennz
Date Posted: 01 December 2008 at 10:44pm
I don't think you're a worry wort at all! Just sensible  I wouldn't leave my 4 year old in the bath for 10 mins on her own, or in an unfenced yard let alone a less than 2 year old! ------------- Jen, Charlotte 7 & Kate 3 
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