Who is getting any....
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Forum Name: General Chat
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Topic: Who is getting any....
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Subject: Who is getting any....
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 7:36pm
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romance that is? I just wondered if I am being unrealistic to expect my lovely DH to be vaguely romantic once in a while. Not expecting wine and roses everyday, but something .... anything....once in a while would be nice. I know its a bit mad at this time of year for him, and that he is really busy.....but am feeling a wee bit neglected at the moment.... Dont get me wrong - he is a fantastic hubby, a wonderful provider, an awesome daddy, and he helps out a lot with the young fella, but I need to feel like something other than a climbing frame, meal provider, bum washer, laundry woman, cook.....the list goes on!!! Sorry a bit woe is me...
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Replies:
Posted By: sally belly
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 8:09pm
Ha ha I wish! I barely get a kiss goodbye in the mornings these days  .
I could've written your post myself as just today I was thinking how being a SAHM is damn hard work. I barely sat down all day today 
Hugs to you. Maybe you could try telling DH how you're feeling. If he's anything like my DH, he simply doesn't get "it" & needs to be told... -------------    
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 8:17pm
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I thought you were going to say whos getting any ...."special relations" and i was going to say , erm , not my DF, not while im so off ...that ....
Hes much more romantic than me , but actually.lately even his romance levels have dropped a bit ....hmmmm ------------- 
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Posted By: Henna79
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 8:24pm
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My DH doesn't have a romantic bone in his body, well he prob does but I am no good at things like that as I am a little self-conscious
Maybe you could set up a date night somewhere in the mix for just you and DH that is. Get a babysitter and have a night just for you 2 once a month or so especially if it's important to you. Ok so now I have to take back my comment about DH as he has seen it. I am to say he has tried to be romantic but I just laugh and call him a geek so he has given up. 
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Posted By: MelanieAndBree
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 9:22pm
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Ha ha me to, i was like I ACTUALLY AM FOR ONCE.. then i read the post lol. ------------- Melanie. Mum to Briahna Robyn, 3yrs |
caitlynsmygirl wrote:Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 03 December 2008 at 11:02pm
| I always get a kiss goodbye in the morning (I'm usually still asleep) and one when he gets home. I get phone calls or texts through the day to say "hey babe". I guess thats close to romance. |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 7:05am
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Romance! What's that! ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 7:18am
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Have you tried romancing him? It's not a one way street and although we women seem to want it more than men do they like to be romanced too. My theory is the more romance you instigate the more he'll start romancing you too. You might even want to plan an evening together and tell him exactly what you have planned and then see what he brings to the party too. You don't need to plan a big night out. We have had lots of lovely romantic 'dates' at home after Michaela goes to sleep. -------------  
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 8:04am
| Good point Jo. I was moaning at DH the other day about being so unromantic,..and he said 'well u arent either', and its tru. I dont know where to start! |
Posted By: Aprilfools
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 8:36am
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Couldn't agree more MrsMojo. My DH loves surprises and being lavished with extra attention.
What do you all class as romance though? We're quite affectionate people and enjoy a little make out session most days  We go out for dinner a lot and all that stuff but it's actually the little things I like the most. Like the bottle of lemonade he bought me the other day coz we had people over and he thought I might like something bubbly too, and the little bag of lollies he got me at work (that's a big thing because the packet was unopened when he gave it to me) but one of my favourites at the moment is on a nice sunny day we get fish & chips and have a little picnic out on the deck.
On Sunday morning he got up and went to the shop to get some things for breakfast then brought it to me in bed with a little flower he'd picked from the garden. Some things that my DH likes; when I let him talk through my programmes, making him lasagne, keeping him company outside while he's doing the lawns or whatever else, greeting him at the door when he gets home. And his two favourite going out things are a night at the casino or the movies, we go to the big comfy seat ones and order as much food as we can. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: TraceyA
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 9:06am
I often feel like I don't get any romance (or the other thing that Kelly & Mel have on the brain ). It often feels like DH doesn't think about me at all during the day, even though he works from home and I'm right in front of him. He'll go downstairs and make himself a coffee but not even think to ask me if I would like a drink. He's very absent minded about other people if they are up and about, fit and healthy. When I'm sick (which is often) and in bed 24/7 he brings me breakfast and cups of tea and everything which makes up for most of his absentmindedness.
I think "date night" is a great idea. I have friends have have a night set aside every week for just the two of them. Her mum takes the kids for the evening (now that they have kids) and they get focused quality time together. Romancing your man is also a great idea. I know that my DH loves to get flowers, but he especially likes it if I cook him something (like cookies or cakes) to surprise him. ------------- TTC #2 |
Posted By: pomikiwi
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 9:07am
haha was just about to say the same thing! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
DD-Carys Amelia 17.03.06 |
Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 9:07am
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All those sound like great ideas,..we used to go on regular dates together before we had Isla, but honetsly cant remeber when we last did anything just us 2
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Posted By: sally belly
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 9:40am
Ditto. Last night in bed I said to DH that he hasn't done anything romantic lately & he said neither have I!! I think I'm definitely going to try to make more of an effort. Somehow . Will get thinking. -------------
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Posted By: sally belly
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 9:43am
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One idea could be to have a night where the TV stays off. DH always manages to find something to watch on TV (last night it was Ice Road Truckers ) & I get bored so get on the internet. If the TV was off we'd have to do something else & actually talk to each other! -------------
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Posted By: Shorty
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 9:51am
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Romanace does not exist in my house!
This is vague as I can't remeber it very well, but there was an add on the radio or TV, a women wanting something like flowers delivered and the guy says when was the last time you brought me beer. Can't remember exact details....anyway for Valetine's this year I brough DH a box of beer....I kid you not it was the best present he has ever had! He loved it.....and got me a long way ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 10:12am
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Lol!!
Sallybelly you must be my twin! dH spends everynight watching whatever on tv, even if hes moaning that its crap- and I get bored so come online (in another room),...I have suggested many times having a weekly tv free night and he thinks Im insane
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 10:21am
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We have the opposite situation in our house - I'm usually the one blobbing in front of the TV
Good point about giving as well as getting. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 10:25am
Ha ha me to, i was like I ACTUALLY AM FOR ONCE.. then i read the post lol. [/QUOTE]ooh go Mel ! you get yours baby !  -------------
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 10:36am
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anyway back to romance!
I asked DF what the nicest romantic thing I ever did for him was , and he said when I wrote him a letter for christmas one year, telling him what I loved most about him and how happy he made me etc etc , (haha sucker! he got a letter and I got a GHD )
so perhaps even start with a card or something , you dont need a special occasion to give a card ... My DF has a habit of coming home and going straight to the computer (ok to be fair he always kisses me and Caitlyn hello first) , so now I laid down the rule that he spends half an hour playing with C, cos by then shes been waiting for him all afternoon (im now "boring" ) then he can go on the computer for an hour til dinners ready then we eat as a family , I get C sorted for bed, whilst he goes on the computer again (must explain , he works in IT , so a lot of the computer time is work hes bought home) then after C's in bed , we watch a movie together , or just chat about our day , until I tell him im tired and am going to bed, he usually has to finish job sheets on the computer for a little bit longer ,so im often lately asleep before he hops into bed . He doesnt resent my bossiness, he almost enjoys our "date" part of the evening more than me -------------
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 10:52am
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No rmamance here. I think Ineed to see him for longer that 2 seconds. At the moment, he is out of the house before I wake up, he pops home brienfly after work grabs food and his keyboard and is out untill well after I am asleep. I cant wait untill christmas eve when I get to see him again! Not that we were ever that romantic when he wasnt so busy. Even to spend 30 minutes cuddling on the couch infront of the TV together would be so nice! We used to be so affectionate before kids and sometimes I really miss that. When we ever do get a break without the girls all I want to do is sleep! I think next year we are going to have to make a date night once a month.
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Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 11:34am
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I feel a bit stink now... There are lots of things that DH does as standard behaviour that I never think of as romantic, because he has always done them. He always kisses me and Oli hello / goodbye, he rings me during the day to let me know what he is up to and where he is and what time he will be home. He helps with things (when I ask him), and is always thoughtful when it comes to pressies. I guess I would like some spontenaity or something like that. I think that as a SAHM its easy to get into the doldrums of everyday life, housework, cooking, cleaning etc...and having something special or romantic happen would just be lovely.
------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 11:50am
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We do romantic stuff everyday like we always kiss hello and goodbye and occassionally just kiss for the sake of it. We always cuddle. We tell each other that we love each other everyday. We don't see a lot of each other because we work different hours but DH used to pop down from work everyday while I was on my way home so we could spend 5 mins together. He gets really busy and can't do that everyday so I started taking later lunches a couple of times a week and now walk to the train station 15 mins from work so I can meet him when he gets into town and walk him back to work. That's the everyday stuff we do for each other. The more planned events don't happen as often (because we don't have the time, once I'm off work again we'll see a lot more of each other). Last month for our anniversary I made him a card using candys and chocolates (with the help of the ladies on here - thanks) and he made me some chocolate fudge, bought me my favourite lollies and spent the entire day doing exactly what I wanted to do. A couple of months earlier I planned an evening for us and told him what I had planned. We put Michaela to bed and both got dressed up and he'd made a plyalist of romantic music for the night (and I got knocked up
ETA: we also occasionally send each other texts and emails telling the other how me we love them. -------------
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). Another time we had a date at home and he snuck out of the house to buy me flowers while I was getting ready and then knocked on the door like a proper gentleman caller.Posted By: ohanlon82
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 11:59am
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DH and i have morning kisses and night kisses when we get home
We had a date night about 4 weeks ago - one thursday and got heaps of nibble food and candles and wine and we had picnic in the lounge.. sounds a little silly but was fab if you know what i mean
i must admit we dont have kids so not as hard... but our time will come.. i think just need to make the effort really everyone seems to get stale in there relationships we having another date night next thursday  ------------- http://lb2f.lilypie.com/TikiPic.php/RPaODBg.jpg |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 12:26pm
same here he also loves surprising me with little gifts or when i could drink , my favourite wine etc. I do feel quite lucky , especially when my bf tells me the latest escapades of her daughter's father , gosh hes the worlds biggest loser ! -------------
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Posted By: tamiem
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 12:38pm
We were a bit the same - now we've starting having Monday nights as our DATE night. We don't go anywhere (live 1 hr from town and no babysitter  but we just take turns to make a nice dinner/dessert, turn the TV off and do something special (ie a nice note, candles at the table, a picnic on the floor, flowers from the garden etc) and wear nice clothes (instead of farm clothes).
Now we both really look forward to Monday nights. I think before we both thought we should do something romantic, but it's easy to get busy and forget about it. Now we have to make the effort! I now actually realise that I was expecting DH to be romantic, when I wasn't being very romantic either!!! ------------- The Sale Fairy is a weekly email newsletter, advertising online sales & specials for baby, children’s and maternity products. www.thesalefairy.co.nz info@thesalefairy.co.nz |
Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 12:54pm
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Awwww Jo, can you get him to talk to my DH, that stuff sounds all romantical.
We do the goodbye kisses and sit on the couch together watching TV. He'll go and get me chocolate when I'm feeling a little "stressed" The last time we went out on our own was back in August! We are going down to Q'Town for 3 days in January and I'm hanging out for some us time. Aside from that we are best buds and we know how we feel about each other and we work well as a team (most of the time). ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 1:28pm
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Ok, I may have to take back some of what I just said. DH decided to come home on his lunch break today and brought me chocolates and vicks vapodrops How ever did he know.
I know I am a lot to blame for the lack of romance, DH tries to do nice stuff, like bring me home stuff like magazines and icecreams and in the past I have gone mad thinking could have spent the money on things we atcually needed. I think we both have quite different ways of showing love and where his is gift giving, mine definately isnt. I just love to be able to spend time together. I really have to work hard on realising when he is trying to be romantic and not shut him down for it -------------
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 1:46pm
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DH never buys me anything, i might occasionaly get brithday and christmas presents,..even when I told he wold be in BIG trouble if he didnt get or make a mother day card for me from Isla, he still didnt bother
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 2:25pm
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Oh Daizy, I think your DH might read your posts and Kellz, maybe your DH should read your posts -------------
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Posted By: Kellz
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 2:27pm
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 2:57pm
We now have date nights once a week.. We dont go out anywhere, we just dedicate one evening to ourselves once the kids are in bed. It usually involves massages and wine 
its done wonders for our relationship  ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 3:37pm
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Hmmmm...when I started reading this thread I was also like "romance, whats that?!" but my DH is quite romantic in small ways, calling me at lunch, texting me to tell me he loves me, kiss each morning when I leave for work. He usually buys me flowers once a fortnight too. He is very generous in that respect and probably doesn't get much back (cause I am usually a tired grumpy witch after early starts every day) except that I do cook dinner, do all his washing and cleaning etc.
Not that I want to be greedy but I would ADORE being whisked away somewhere and wined and dined - but not having to organise it. I hate how I always have to plan it every time we do something different.... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: sally belly
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 3:46pm
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I think it's just so easy to get caught up in the hum drum of everyday life. Sounds like many of us could do with a little reminder. We're all so busy & afterall.
I really am going to try to make more of an effort, starting tonight . My DH is really pretty good. While he doesn't do much cleaning (he wouldn't do it "properly" anyway!) he is very hands-on with Liam & lets me sleep in once a week
And CuriousG flowers every fortnight . Lucky lucky girl -------------
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 04 December 2008 at 8:33pm
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Can you say to him, hey we haven't had much romance lately, how about an at-home date one night soon? And give him the pick of say, Sunday or Monday night. You can either do some baking or pick up some yummy snacks and drink at the supermarket... and book out from say 7.30pm until the end of the night. -------------  |
Posted By: Spirals
Date Posted: 05 December 2008 at 8:21am
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Sorry - can't remember who it was now whose DH has the telly on the whole time...but just try going over and sitting next to him, give him a couple of kisses on his cheek/neck, then flick the tv off and move in for a big snog. I don't think you'll hear him complaining about missing his programme.
I've found that as long as I show DH I still find him attractive, he's a lot more affectionate towards me me - and we're both happier. It has a snowball effect too - the more we both do it, the more effort we each make for the other one. We both find that we're trying to come up with ways to make the other one smile. |