Cold feet?
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Category: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Name: Planning Pregnancy (trying for baby)
Forum Description: Trying to get pregnant? Going through fertility treatment? Just planning your first or second child? There are many people out there in the same boat to help and listen and share with
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23168
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Topic: Cold feet?
Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Subject: Cold feet?
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 11:29am
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Hi guys,
Please help me out here - I THINK its getting to ovulation time and now Im freaking out wondering if now *is* the right time! I mean we have put off TTC for various reasons for at least a couple of years now. Were finanically stable, in a loving relationship, Ive FINALLY lost some weight though still have more to go - soooo why am I feeling like this?! Is it normal?  ------------- TTC 6 years IVF it is IVF/ICSI round one 10 eggs, 8 mature, 3 fertilised BFN IVF/ICSI #2 = 22 eggs! 20 mature, 15 fertilised, 1 fresh transfer and 2 frosties BFN 2 Frosties still in freezer thank god |
Replies:
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 11:44am
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Don't take this the wrong way Dal....but maybe you're not really "ready" yet? There is no real rush for you is there? So don't feel pressured into TTC because everyone else thinks it's the "right" time - just because you're married, you've got your house etc it doesn't mean you HAVE to have children now.
In saying that, I think everyone feels scared/worried when it comes time to making the decision to TTC your first child (and probably each one afterwards!!), just because it's a momentous life-changing decision. I don't know that this has been much help, except for me rambling on as usual....but either way  and good luck whichever way you choose to go!!
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 11:52am
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I think I would have been like that had we been actively trying when Daniel showed up. I think it's normal because it is a big change to your life. I don't think there is ever an absolute ideal time to have kids. There will always be something out there that could be a bit better to make having kids more ideal.
I think you need to decide if you really want to have kids and then if you do just bite the bullet and have fun |
Posted By: T_Rex
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 12:04pm
Lol, Dal... this question again 
Seriously though, I'm in a similar place (except I've not come off the pill yet). There is no real reason NOT to TTC right now, but there is no real reason TO TTC right now either. Some days I think I'm ready and some days I think no way! I think for us it will come down to what would be the difference between this year and next, you know? In the end, for me, the money and the weight will work either way, and DH and I are rock solid... but that just means the barriers are gone, it doesn't mean it has to be now. Age isn't pressuring me (or you) just yet. So over christmas some time, I think DH and I will be pondering what would be doing with/without kids in the next year or two. Hopefully one of those options will sound more appealing to us than the other! This time overseas has kindof awoken a bit of an adventurous side to me that wasn't there before, and at the moment I'm leaning towards spending the next few months doing a few things with DH that we wouldn't be able once we have little kids. If its just a matter of being nervous, I think that would always be there - next year or the year after too. So for me its more about what would be different - what would I/we do if we waited? Gosh, sorry, I don't know if that was any use to you! But at least you know you aren't alone. I've told DH that even when we do decide to TTC, I reserve the right to have a complete freak out when we get a BFP ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 12:07pm
LOL thanks guys 
The thing is the other month when we were "sort of" trying - and AF arrived I was guttered! Really dissapointed and so was DH - so maybe I am ready! I guess Im just freaking out which is natural - but everyone I speak to seems to be SOOOO clucky and I am super clucky but not desperate desperate if that makes sense? ------------- TTC 6 years IVF it is IVF/ICSI round one 10 eggs, 8 mature, 3 fertilised BFN IVF/ICSI #2 = 22 eggs! 20 mature, 15 fertilised, 1 fresh transfer and 2 frosties BFN 2 Frosties still in freezer thank god |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 12:09pm
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I agree with Stacey. It's perfectly normal to get cold feet because it is a huge life changing decision (although my cold feet came after my BFPs both times - silly me). You also never know how long TTC will take. You'll kick yourself if you put it off only to find that it's takes ages and intervention to actually concieve (sorry, don't mean to freak you out even more). One saying is true whether you actively TTC'd or whether your BFP was a surprise and that's "You will never regret the children you have, only the ones you didn't"
edited: man, my spelling sucks atm! -------------  
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Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 12:12pm
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Thanks appreciate what your saying!
I KNOW Im ready, I know WERE ready - I really do. Im just a crazy librian that can NEVER make decisions - ever! ------------- TTC 6 years IVF it is IVF/ICSI round one 10 eggs, 8 mature, 3 fertilised BFN IVF/ICSI #2 = 22 eggs! 20 mature, 15 fertilised, 1 fresh transfer and 2 frosties BFN 2 Frosties still in freezer thank god |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 12:13pm
Go jump that husband of yours tonight 
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Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 12:56pm
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Dal I feel exactly the same as you and I have one child already!
I am scared of ttcing #2!!! I feel your stress hun so I have no advice!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 1:21pm
Hahahahaahah Stace! 
Dont mean to sound rude lovie but Im glad you feel my stress! In a good way - makes me feel more normal! I guess its all part and parcel of the whole TTC process! ETA - Peachy when did Lauren get to be 1?! That has gone FAR to quickly!! ------------- TTC 6 years IVF it is IVF/ICSI round one 10 eggs, 8 mature, 3 fertilised BFN IVF/ICSI #2 = 22 eggs! 20 mature, 15 fertilised, 1 fresh transfer and 2 frosties BFN 2 Frosties still in freezer thank god |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 1:59pm
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Its very normal to get cold feet, I did lol and then when i got my BFP, I thought OMG what have we done!!!
But once your pregnancy gets going and you start to see a bump and feel baby move its SO exciting! And especially when they are born 
You will be fine I promise, I was terrified of having a baby but now Im doing it again lol ------------- |
Posted By: aussiegirl
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 2:05pm
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Dal it is a big decision! i agree with the other girls, so normal to feel this way! we werent TTC when I got a BFP, had planned to try a few months later, so it was a lovely surprise when we did find out and you have 9 months to plan, prepare and grow to love that baby inside you! -------------  Mum to Hayley **30.6.08
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 2:20pm
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Tell me about it Dal, it goes way too fast trust me!!
I remember when I first found out on honeymoon that I was pregnant and we had onlyJUST begun ttc! Little did I realise I was already up the duff  Whoopsy daisy!------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 2:20pm
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You guys are such angels thanks
ETA - We must have posted at exactly the same time! LOL - that is so funny about you already being up the duff! How crazy is that! ------------- TTC 6 years IVF it is IVF/ICSI round one 10 eggs, 8 mature, 3 fertilised BFN IVF/ICSI #2 = 22 eggs! 20 mature, 15 fertilised, 1 fresh transfer and 2 frosties BFN 2 Frosties still in freezer thank god |
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 2:43pm
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You'll be fine!..I think anything that we do that is unknown to us puts doubts in our mind....especially parenting!!....and don't worry about feeling down when you're hoping for a BFP and AF arrives...we all go through it at times.....Honestly, heck when I've NOT wanted a BFP and AF has arrived....I still have a little bit of sadness lolz..but those "accidents" are few at the mo. ------------- 
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Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 2:48pm
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Good luck Dal, you know you want to ------------- http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: surfergirl
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 4:27pm
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LOL Dal. I just cracked up when I saw this...I thought you'd had 'warm feet' for far too long...like three weeks! I personally think the most telling thing is how sad you were when AF arrived. It's natural to freak out! It's a big step. And even after I got my BFP i was a bit freaked, but when I miscarried then I realised how much I *was/am* ready. What a waffle! But basically just go for it. We all know it's not like it's guaranteed anyhow - and the most fun is in the trying. |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 16 December 2008 at 5:43pm
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LOL Dal I'm with you on the cold feet!
I'm not sure if it was you or someone else who posted on the TTC thread about always wanting to plan everything, and finding the whole TTC something you can't plan. I'm only 1 bcp pkt away from being where you are. My train of thought is I don't want to get bfp straight away but I don't want it to take too long either, and until I try I've no idea whats going to happen. Its a bit frustrating. Sometimes a whoopsie daisy would be much easier. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 17 December 2008 at 8:45am
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Lol E about the "warm feet"!
Yeah thats the thing - the one time I THOUGHT we might have got the timing right and didnt - I was guttered. SO really that is a huge tell tale sign isnt it?! ------------- TTC 6 years IVF it is IVF/ICSI round one 10 eggs, 8 mature, 3 fertilised BFN IVF/ICSI #2 = 22 eggs! 20 mature, 15 fertilised, 1 fresh transfer and 2 frosties BFN 2 Frosties still in freezer thank god |
Posted By: sno0ze
Date Posted: 17 December 2008 at 9:08am
yep BooBoo thats a sign, its horrible when AF shows. Good luck  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
DD - 6yrs |
Posted By: Babykatnz
Date Posted: 17 December 2008 at 4:33pm
Makes perfect sense lol.. for a while I was gutted each month af turned up, but I would look at other friends babies and think hmmm... nup. Not clucky yet... but now that I am preg with my OWN baby, I am super excited... nervous as hell, but really excited, and enjoying (most of the time) being preg after so long...still dont get that 'mother hen' kinda feeling about other peoples babies lol, I have just never been that kind of person... ------------- Brandon - 05/12/2003  
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BooBoo wrote:Posted By: shelleybean
Date Posted: 30 December 2008 at 2:47pm
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All the best Dal in a couple of days ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 01 January 2009 at 6:35pm
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Thanks Shell!
I might just have to start a new thread ;) ------------- TTC 6 years IVF it is IVF/ICSI round one 10 eggs, 8 mature, 3 fertilised BFN IVF/ICSI #2 = 22 eggs! 20 mature, 15 fertilised, 1 fresh transfer and 2 frosties BFN 2 Frosties still in freezer thank god |