Some advice please!
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=2334
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Topic: Some advice please!
Posted By: Paws
Subject: Some advice please!
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 11:26am
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Just advise from you loverly ladies please.
My SIL texted hubby last week to find out if we knew at that stage what we were having. She then proceeded to tell us what names she and her fiancé have “baggsed” for when they have kids 4 years down the track. (No I kid you not!) Anyway it turns out our girls names are extremely similar so a sulk is bound to be on the horizon on her side. We’re not changing our minds on the name (I know some say we may not like the name once she is born but I’m doubtful to be honest!) and I’m certainly not changing because they want something similar around 4 years down the track. We weren’t going to reveal our name until the birth but now we’re wondering if we should tell immediate family just to get the sulk from her out of the way now or just wait and let her deal with it once our little girl is here. Thoughts? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Millie1976
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 11:36am
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I think if it were me I would probably tell them sooner rather than later. Like you say, your SIL is not thinking of starting a family for another 4 years and at that stage may have decided on other names. We have decided not to tell people the names that we have chosen just in case someone decides to steal one of the names for a child of their own. ------------- Sebastien 2 years old Olivier 3 3/4 years old |
Posted By: deharn
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 11:41am
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Hmmmmm, is she for real? My goodness that is bizarre and my only advice would be that you have what ever name you want!
THE only exception I would consider in your situation was if she had a particular name and it was known that all her life she had wanted it. And that would be doing her a favour! It sounds like you and her need to have a bit of a chat. |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 11:44am
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I wont bother telling her.......
Just keep it to yourself (only if it is what you want). Its not any ones business what you name your child. If some one has a problem with the name they can deal with it!!! I did not tell my MIL what I was naming Zaara untill the day she was born....she said she wanted to name her some thing else and we told her tough...we have decided on her name and that is it!!!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 11:51am
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Yeah do whatevery you want. Maybe a good idea to get the sulk over with now so you dont have her on a downer after your wee one is born. Like you said the names are similar so not the same. She can still call her girl whatever name she likes, its not like they are going to be sisters, just cousins. Sounds like she may be a bit of a difficult person hey. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 11:52am
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Well if has wanted it all her life then it's the first we've ever heard of it and as we chose ours around a year ago...you get my drift....
This btw is the same SIL who sulked when we got pregnant because she thought it would detract from her upcoming wedding so you can understand why I think her sulking is highly possible! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 11:57am
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do you really care if she sulks tho??? She is going to sulk either way.....if not about the name then because you had a baby and she hasnt or some think else.....she sound like a person who would do that....so who cares?
Do you really want the stress right now? Let her get all worked up about it!!! You do what you have to. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 12:02pm
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personally i wouldnt tell her till baby has arrived - you may decide not to use the name, and if you do, when everyone has seen your little girl and identified her as *name*, they will be less likely to listen to her sulking. even your sil may decide that. besides, you cant "bags" names ahead of others, thats just silly. In our family there is xanthe, my nephew zander, and my sister wants to call her future daughter zanzibar - all similar but so what? perhaps you could drop into conversations that you have chosen the name a year ago, and it is special to you etc etc... get her used to the idea of a special name ahead of telling her what it is. ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe -  my big 4 year old 
and Jordis - 1 year old 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 12:02pm
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In the end I guess don't really care if she sulks...I guess I'm just worried about her being a downer when the baby comes. She's over the whole thing that we are pregnant now which is good but that in itself was a huge downer at the time and I'm worried about it being like that again I guess.
You're right though...I don't want to be stressing over it! (lucky I'm not yet - more just concerned at her antics) ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 12:17pm
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Hey Paws,
A few thigns come to mind - first off you cant "book" names for a non-existant baby, how silly! Secondly I think if it was me I woudl just keep quiet until baby comes - the reason being that everyone will be so happy and if she sulks then she will really be exposed for being completely childish and selfish, and I would say taht at that point the family will tell her to pull her head in and they will deal with her - I understand why you are tryin to get her "sulk" out of the way, but to be honest with people like that I just think if they are going to be so selfish let them expose themselves totally and perhaps they will feel some shame for the way they are acting! (or they wil be upset in private and not show it so that they dont expse themselves which is likely too which is good for you cos it means that she will just have to get over it in her own time)-you are havin a baby first, you get to chose a name first. End of story. She needs to grow up by teh sounds of it...just my opinion anyway... ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 12:23pm
oh my how old is this woman relly how can u act like that sounds like to me that she is a iteation seeker and the only way to get round it is to ignore her. she sounds like she is trying to steal your thuder about bubs i no people like that and i,ve found the only way to deal with them is let them deal with it and do want you want anyway it means u have to put yourself frist but sometimes its the only way ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 12:25pm
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oh and we have 3 names in our family starting with j and 1 that means james in maoir so what its only a name ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 1:13pm
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Your SIL sounds like an immature cow! How does she even know if she will have a girl, let alone definitely be able to have children... She's assuming she'll get exactly what she wants obviously.
Nah, definitely don't tell her what you want to name your baby because she'll probably try and guilt you into changing it and just moan about it to the rest of the family. You don't need the stress right now and ultimately your precious bundle will be here first! 
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Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 1:14pm
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i wouldnt tell her, its your descion, she shoudlnt of said anything like that anyway!!!! and what if you didnt name your baby what you like, and then she didnt even have a same sex child to name the baby that anyway! argh!
i dont think you can really "book" a name for so far away, things can change in that time anyway, and she might not even want to call her "future" baby that. i was always going to call my son zach bailey but when i got pregnant (and before i knew i was having a girl) i went off of it, and hubby didnt want it anyway either.... do whats right for YOU and your hubby and your precious baby
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 1:24pm
| I would announce when you find out what bubs is what you are calling baby, that is if u have chosen a name, get her out of the way of her sulking before bubs gets here so when they come to visit when bubs is here it wont feel to uncomfortable etc |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 1:31pm
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I understand that you dont want her to be a downer when baby is here...but ask your self this....will your family care what the @$%& she is doing when your beautiful little girl is here? They will be way to happy to see her and too busy to get to know her to notice what she is up to.......Can you tell I am pissed off about this? I just hate people like that!!!!
------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 1:40pm
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I would stick with your original plan of not telling anyone Baby's name until she arrives. Similar sounding names for cousins are not THAT big a deal... and if she wants to make something of it, then she will just be showing everyone how silly she is. If the names were the same, then that would be a different story...
In Nathaniel's immediate family we have: Rebecca C - Bec (Nat's sister) Rebecca L - Becca (me) David C - Dave (Bec's husband) David L - Dad (FIL) Michael - Mike (Nat's brother) Michal (Mike's daugher) and to add to it... if we have a girl, we want to call her Mikaela. If Bec and Dave have a girl (at a later stage), they want to call her Mikaylee. We're all fine with potenially having 3 girls with similar names... my MIL says that she'll just call them M1, M2 and M3 so that she gets the right one! ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 1:41pm
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Hehehehe I know what you mean....I think the only reason we're not mad (yet anyway) is that B's obviously grown up with her always being like this and I'm getting used to it.
We're going to go with the advice of telling her once bubs arrives and let her deal with it herself. After all if she does say anything then and there to me she will be dealing with a woman who has just been through labour so hopefully she'll think twice! We're also going to take the advice of dropping into conversation the fact that we picked the names a year ago. Besides my MIL is bound to pull her into line quick smart unless hubby or I beat her to it! Thanks all! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 1:59pm
| That is hilarious hat she has "booked" those names - more so in that she texted you them so you wouldn't "steal" them. I'm rather viondictive so If i were you and hadn't picked ":her" names, i would've said I had, just to annoy her. but as I said, I'm vindicitve. I reckon tell her once baby is born, and the birth cert. is sent away. What can she do? |
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 9:52pm
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sounds like a great plan paws and i would,nt want to pi33 off a lady whos just gone though labour lol and sounds like you have a grweat mil ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 03 May 2006 at 11:55pm
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your sil sounds like a real pain in the a**!!!!
has she said anything nice about ur pregnancy at ALL?! hopefully she grows up a lot in the 4years before they have kids!
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 04 May 2006 at 8:05am
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LOL paws, my sister has done the same thing - told me her list of names and that I can't steal them. Luckily I don't like any of them all that much, coz she could also throw a major tanty about it knowing her.
But if I did like it that much, I would use it - you're going to have years of yelling out your little girls name, so it's more important that you like it than keeping someone else happy. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 04 May 2006 at 7:37pm
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Oh sweetheart, what a silly selfish immature Beearch. I feel like stomping up there and giving her an uppercut. I would name my baby one of "her" names just to p#ss her off. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 3:46pm
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is she for real????
my sis has always wanted to use the name zoe, as it was my nana's name. i've also wanted to use it,(zoey) but said i never would as she was closer to nan than i. in saying that, my sis is with a man who has had a vasectomy and so has given up on ever having kids....yay i get my name  hehehe shame i think i'm having boy #2 
but seriously, first in first served i always say!!! ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 3:50pm
| Ah screw her... like Maria said, they are cousins... who cares if they have the same name. In situations where they are together you can develop cute nicks name/s for one or the other or both. |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 8:10pm
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My son is Jake and my nephew is Jack. Gets a bit confusing, but what the hey? ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: AnnC
Date Posted: 25 May 2006 at 12:12pm
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I must admit I have not told my pregnant SIL what names we have, I am the oppostie she is due to give birth in July me in Nov so I don't want her to not have the name she wants cause I 'booked' the name. She doesn't know what she is having and hasn't said too many names to me neither. My view is she is 'first in first served' and if she happens to pick the same name as us then so be it we will have a little while to think of another one. and thats why I purposly haven't said any names so that she can't be accused of 'taking our our name'
I had a problem sort of the same but different cercumstances, I was getting married (last year) a kind of 'friend' was going on and on about what songs she was having at her wedding (this is after she got engaged two months before our wedding) - one of which I had picked out, also the engagement ring she got was exactly the same as mine - everyone said that to her - she was not impressed. The on our wedding day when she came to the reception she was going on - I was having those colours, I was having that dress, Your wedding ring looks exactly like mine the list goes on... needless to say I wasn't impressed but thought too bad I had mine arranged well before you got engaged. Thing is the couple are no longer together and I guess imitation is the greatest form of flaterery (or at least they say!) ------------- Ann 
Also Mum to Josh (15) and Brooke (10) |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 25 May 2006 at 1:10pm
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Girls' can be so bitchy right?
My cousins got married realllllly young and their wedding song was "heartbreaker", by Mriah Carey...talk about inappropriate wedding songs. I watched desperate housewives the other day and the wedding song was "what's love got to do with it" - I thought that was pretty cool. My friend wanted to have "stuff and nonsense" until she heard the lyrics "and you know that I love you (awwww), here and now (how sweet..), not forever (oops)" |
Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 25 May 2006 at 2:27pm
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So what has happened with your SIL Paws? Any juicy updates on the name saga? ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 25 May 2006 at 2:46pm
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Sorry to say but no updates....other than the fact that we are sticking with our name end of story!!!
We actually told the parents in law what our name is and they didn't think it was too similar and didn't think we should care if it was. So (in case you have all been curious what our name acutally is) Madeleine Grace she is and Madeleine Grace she stays! (Maddison is the name that was baggsed by the SIL) ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 25 May 2006 at 2:52pm
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Nah, those names aren't too similar, unless both little girls become known as Maddy! Still, cousins with the same nickname usually isn't too confusing. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: Syd
Date Posted: 25 May 2006 at 2:53pm
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ha - thats not same at all! Good on for sticking with it. Like the other have said, your sil might not even have a girl anyway and she could well change her mind. What a lovely name! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 25 May 2006 at 3:33pm
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Nice name Paws! And I dont think they are that similar anyway - good on you for sticking with what you wanted, it's a decision you have to live with for a long time and you shoudl have what you want! ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 25 May 2006 at 5:04pm
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that's a beautiful name you've chosen for your wee girl paws!!! they are not that similar enough to really cause probs anyway, not that it would've ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: newmum
Date Posted: 25 May 2006 at 5:06pm
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ohh I like that name!! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 25 May 2006 at 8:08pm
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Me too! ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 25 May 2006 at 8:11pm
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Awwwwww me toooooooo (again go the French names!!!)
The name is gorgeous and not nearly similar enough to get bitchy about it! |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 25 May 2006 at 11:04pm
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i reckon!!!
my cousins name is siobhain and mines kelly,,,,not similar at all but i thought id mention it lmao |
Posted By: Leish
Date Posted: 26 May 2006 at 6:47am
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That is a beautiful name Paws - and don't you think that Grace is a great middle name? I think it sounds nice with everything.
Would you pronounce it Made - LINE or Made - LYNNE?? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 26 May 2006 at 10:03am
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thanks everyone! (why is you can't help but glow when people like the name you choose!).
We'll be pronouncing it Made-lynne. (or Maddy)------------- http://lilypie.com">
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