Strangers
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23409
Printed Date: 11 September 2025 at 1:24pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Strangers
Posted By: lisa85
Subject: Strangers
Date Posted: 01 January 2009 at 5:12pm
The other day I was in a clothing store and this woman came up to the pram (as people do a thousand times a day when you have twins grrrrr) and started to put her hands in to touch the girls while I had my back turned to grab a dress. Man did I freak!!!! What on earth makes complete stranger think that they have the right to put their dirty mits all over my babies!!! It makes me soooo angry. I'm not sure what other peoples experiences with this are, but with twins people suddenly feel they have the right to come up and assult you with a million questions while your out minding your own business  and it's always the same idiotic questions over and over and over.
The worst is when your at a restaurant and people come up to the table while your eating to ask if they're twins?!?! Which has got to be the stupidest question ever! Sorry for the rant but I'm so over feeling like a traveling freak show  Can't I just go out with my babies and shop in peace? -------------  
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Replies:
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 01 January 2009 at 5:38pm
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It doesnt really bother me when people say hello to Caden, would be a different story if they tried to pick him up or something, but if they just give him a little tickle on the cheek or hand I dont mind, its usually old ladies that coo over him the most.
When ever I go out I always get people cooing over him lol. ------------- |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 01 January 2009 at 5:41pm
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lisa I'm with you...i dont get it.. old people and random people touch him and I think it's weird too..they grab his cheek and squeeze it:( must be so much worse with gorgeous twins like yours! ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 01 January 2009 at 6:04pm
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I too actually dont mind.
Issy loves people so is usually shouting out to get people to come over and play with her lol ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 01 January 2009 at 6:08pm
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When it comes to the touching I guess for me it's mainly the fact that I don't know where their hands have been or if they might be sick. You never know if they don't wash their hands after going to the toilet or patting a dog. Things like that. -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: Troods
Date Posted: 01 January 2009 at 6:10pm
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I don't mind people coming over and going gaga over Emily. Except when she's clearly asleep (which has happened before and the lady was so loud that Emily woke up Grrrrr). I've not had people poke their hands in and touch her without checking with me first, but I think I would be annoyed if people just went ahead and did so when my back was turned or my attention was elsewhere. Usually people touch her cheek or her hand after they've engaged a conversation with me and got Emily's attention and a smile from her first, and I don't mind that at all. ------------- 
 Missed MC July 2011
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 01 January 2009 at 7:17pm
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when we lived in japan we got a LOT of that with Jake. People used to take photos of him. the freakiest one was when this woman came up to us at our home train station and started talking away. I could barely understand what she was saying. anyway, she picked up Jake and started cooeing to him. then after a few minutes, gave him back and left. I said to lewis "who was that?" assuming it was one of his students. he turns to me and says "I thought YOU knew her" turns out she was some random.
I was sooo over everyone pawing him. |
Posted By: cat007
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 12:23am
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I so know what you mean! It takes forever to even get the groceries - and you can never be in a hurry cos people always stop me to look at them. Apart from touching them - the next worst thing is people stopping me from getting near my trolley by pushing their way inbetween me and the boys. I cant even protect them if I even tried! Grrrrrrr. The other thing that bugs me too - is people telling me how I should be dressing them ie the same or different.....or people telling me that its a pity one of them wasnt a girl instead. Im happy with my 3 boys as they are! People can be so insensitive! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  [/url http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: SuperDaddy
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 8:29am
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It's true about grocery shopping it takes three times as long with a baby on board than if you go alone!
What I hate the most is when Isabelle is dressed head to toe in pink (and its usually a dress) and they ask if its a boy or girl! Are these people morons? -------------  
 
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Posted By: Troods
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 8:35am
LOL SuperDaddy, we get that alot with Emily too. When we went to the Parent & Child Show, Emily was dressed head to toe in pink, with a pink girlie blanket over her in her stroller, but we kept getting comments like "oh what a gorgeous wee boy" etc so many times DH and I were getting really p****ed off! By the third comment we couldn't be bothered correcting them anymore....... -------------
Missed MC July 2011
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SuperDaddy wrote:Posted By: Neeks
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 9:45am
LMAO SD Morons would be a nice way of putting it 
Cheek pinches are the worst.. we have a few in our area that we see frequently and very rarely we can get past them (while walking) without them stopping for a pinch 
Poor Keziah is going to have droopy cheeks before long LOL -------------  
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Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 10:20am
Honestly I'm usually proud that Chloe gets so much attention...  and she's always so happy to have people smiling and cooing at her. I have to say that I wouldn't want someone reaching into the pram if they hadn't asked me first though, especially if I wasn't right there or had my back turned. And it gets annoying sometimes when people won't stop talking and you are in a hurry.
I also love when people give her attention in the supermarket... I just keep shopping while they keep her entertained  but I DO find it annoying when people ask if it's a girl or a boy and she is wearing a pink flowery dress or something ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 10:36am
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Neeks I'm the same I feel like saying 'He has droopy cheeks cause of people like you.....' :) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 10:56am
Thats how I feel, Im always really proud and flattered when people come up and say "Oh what a gorgeous little boy!" , makes me smile! At christmas I took him into foodtown with his santa hat on and he got heaps of people cooing over him, I didnt mind at all, he always smiles and laughs for them. But yep, I get annoyed when people ask if he is a girl or boy Caden clearly doesnt look like a girl im my opinion lol!------------- |
Posted By: SuperDaddy
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 11:40am
Isabelle eats dirt! You cant get much more unhygenic than that -------------
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Posted By: Neeks
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 1:33pm
ROFL.. I'd pay to hear someone say that -------------
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 7:01pm
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Superdaddy worte -
Isabelle eats dirt! You cant get much more unhygenic than that Haha yeah pick the first time mum over here! I guess I'm a little OCD when it come to the girls but they haven't gotten to the eating dirt stage yet! I've seen my neice try to eat a blowfly once lol! I guess I just have a thing about strangers. Plus like I said when you have twins people coming up to you gets very old very fast. -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 7:20pm
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yeah i guess every Mum likes their baby getting attention but when they touch them or when like you it happens every 5 mins it must be annoying..i was sooo like you with the dirt thing till recently ..now he gets into everything:) ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 7:26pm
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I don't like strangers touching but worst for me is when someone is holding your baby and then just decides the baby wants to chew on their finger - um, yuck! how am I supposed to know that it is clean? -------------  |
Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 7:44pm
Wow this has become quite the interesting topic lol! By the way a little off subject but great to see a man in here superdaddy 
edited for spelling -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 9:14pm
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Ha ha, Chiara was licking the shed floor at SIL's yesterday so I'm pretty sure she's good with people touching her. It doesn't really bug me much altho I did have a wee evil giggle at the random lady who came up and started pawing her when she was in the Moby at Billy Joel - at the time Chiara was still in the infectious stage of having chickenpox, that'll teach randoms for pawing her!
And totally agree re: the travelling freak show. I thought it was bad when I had Maya and the gremlins. It was worse when I had Maya, the gremlins and a baby belly but now that I have Maya, the gremlins and Chiara people don't even try to hide the fact that they're staring. And for the most part I don't mind, it makes little old ladies days to talk to them, but the ones who look down their nose with a "don't you know where babies come from?" kind of look that annoy me. I had a lady at church once say to me "they can't be all yours, you're not old enough!" And not in a "you look really young" kinda way, but in a "young, solo mother on the DPB" kinda way, especially when her next question was "so where is your husband?" Fortunately for me I am fairly assertive. I put her back in her box rather abruptly by telling her Willie doesn't go to church and yes, they ARE all mine. Afterwards I was kicking myself tho - I sooooo should have said "no, only one of the twins is mine, I don't know who the other one belongs to?"  .------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
(02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: SuperDaddy
Date Posted: 03 January 2009 at 9:08pm
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Haha Emma!
Im pretty sure that when Issy was about six months and rolling around on the floor she would put any random thing she found in her path in her mouth, so Im pretty good with letting her "live" I dont mind randoms talking to Issy, although I too get the where are your wife looks, especially during weekdays the only time it is frustrating is when LF is at home waiting for food, keeping a pg woman waiting for food is never a good idea!-------------
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 03 January 2009 at 9:11pm
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I'm getting those horrid comments too, Emma. Why do people think it is any of their business to pull faces and/or comment on other people's family size choice? (Or not, in your case LOL ) We get, "how are you going to educate them all" and "are you going to have any more" most often - not too intrusive but they are personal questions and strangers should learn to hold their tongues!! Besides, we don't know! - of course we have a rough plan but how that actually pans out is only for the future to know. ------------- |
Posted By: Rackhell
Date Posted: 03 January 2009 at 9:42pm
| When Cath was younger (is a whopping 18months old now) adult strangers used to come up and touch her face which used to freak me out. I was less assertive then and never said anything or said 'no, please don't do that' in a quiet voice. Fortunately I've developed quite a rude streak now when it comes to adult strangers who try and touch her. |
Posted By: Andie
Date Posted: 04 January 2009 at 8:55pm
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PMSL, Emma... oh, you so should have said that!! I thought the random touchy lady at Billy Joel pretty odd too. She'd be in for a nasty surprise if she's not immune!
Ella invited a lot of attention, like they all do, and I still remember the first time I took her through a checkout and no-one working there stopped their job to coo over her - I arrived home muttering 'what, can you people not see how sweet she is?!? Come ON!'... guess I'd gotten way too used to the routine of stop and talk to strangers thanks to Ella. Funny, T... I'm one of those awful finger-chewers!! Ha ha... ah, I must try to remember that when your next one comes along though. If a friend's kid grabs my finger to chew, I give them the middle knuckle and let them go to town... I guess I can see how that'd be gross though, come to think of it! ------------- Andie |
Posted By: bext1
Date Posted: 04 January 2009 at 9:38pm
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when we brought the twins home from hospital, we couldn't take them out much cause of the risk on people passing bugs on, and so when we Did eventually go out, we just put the rain cover over them, so they could look, but not touch.
now they are all good, people still look, but i walk fast enough so they don't touch LOL ------------- 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: cat007
Date Posted: 04 January 2009 at 10:14pm
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That was what I was worried about too Bext1. I tried to keep them away from people and was particularly annoyed when people wanted to touch or hold them and didnt tell me they were sick with colds etc. Not so much of a problem now that they are vaccinated and a lot older. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> [/url http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: lisa85
Date Posted: 05 January 2009 at 12:25pm
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Haha I have learnt not to look anyone in the eye while walking. Its funny with the twins if your walking around a mall you get used to hearing this surround sound "awwwwww" or "twins!" or look theres two" hahaha!
I used to put their sun cover over at all times so people couldn't see but the girls hate it these days. They're such attention seekers now that they're getting bigger -------------
TTC #3 since Jan 2010 - PCOS MC April 2010 |
Posted By: McPloppy
Date Posted: 05 January 2009 at 1:56pm
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I do not mind people looking or asking questions...it is quite flattering however I do not like people touching (Sophia does not like strangers - good girl) or giving us advice. They only advise DH, like when we were in the warehouse one time, an old lady deliberately waked up to DH and told him our baby should be wrapped up...It was stinking hot and he was carrying her....he just said thank you and walked off....if it was me i would have given her a piece of my mind about minding ones own business....Poor DH is such a softie. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: MrsH
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 3:32pm
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Now I feel paranoid that no-one will coo over my baby once it's born.
My friends have all said that our baby's gonna be cute but I don't want them to jinx it. I said to them "Well, what're you gonna say if it's not?" They just said that they'd go "Ooh, um.... what lovely eyes!!" LOL I guess I'd rather have those coo-ey looks than the "that must be what Evil looks like" look. But agree - touching is a no-no (as are stilettos on a bouncy castle) ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ClareB
Date Posted: 13 January 2009 at 12:21pm
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hi all,
Thanks for this forum I had no idea!! Our first will be here in april and I do get a lot of people trying to touch my belly but wow I could never imagine picking up or touching anothers baby with out an ok, I mean really what ever happened to personal space LOL |