good idea? or abuse?
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Topic: good idea? or abuse?
Posted By: lizzle
Subject: good idea? or abuse?
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 3:26pm
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Was walking to the warehouse with Taine. Our warehouse is on Pioneer Highway - which leads to state highway one to Wellington. So as you can imagine - very busy. Cars speed along there and they say the speed camera fines are the most in Palmy north.
So as we are walking I can see a house. Obviously for xmas they have a lot of family with them as there are two or three tents outside the house. The house is fenced but no gate. As we walk I see a ball roll out and a kid - around 1 or 2 rush out to grab it. "eek" I think, but I'm too far away to do anything. But the kid stops. An adult calmly goes and gets the ball which is in the gutter. then I see the kid is attached to a DOG RUN!!!! He has a belt or harness thing around his waist which is attached to a wire - a dog run? So is this is brilliant idea by the people, or akin to abuse? To me, I guess seeing that is better than seeing a squished kid on the road, but still it made me a little uncomfortable! whaddya think? |
Replies:
Posted By: james
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 3:29pm
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ummm i dont think thats a great idea if its makeing you uncomtable then you may want report it ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: cuppatea
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 3:33pm
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I guess if the adult came out straight away they are in the garden with the kid and perhaps it's just as an emergency measure whilst they get the gate sorted. It is a little odd though and not something I would do to my child, I would rather just take them to the nearest park for a kick about instead. ------------- 
 
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Posted By: HippyMama
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 4:00pm
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I would be really uncomfortable with that too - at age 1 or 2 I'd be starting to teach the kid to STOP, and if I'm not able to supervise then they need to be put in a less risky situation. ------------- Mama to two earth walkers & two angels. Remember, you are not managing an inconvenience; You are raising a human being. ~ Kittie Franz Next Slingbabies! Meet - Friday 4th May !! |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 4:09pm
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Kind of like old fashioned reins. we had them when we were kids.
I don't think its bad. TBH its a case of damned if you do damned if you don't, if the kid did get out of the section and hurt, they'd be in trouble for not keeping him safe. By putting restraints on him - thoughts are of child abuse. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 4:25pm
I think its a classic idea!!! I have dreamed of such athing but couldnt work out how you could attach the kid to it and go round corners etc (just kidding!!!!!) It is a bit odd but maybe they are coming up with a great new invention.
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 4:35pm
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It's not something I would do but I don't think I would call it abuse.. better than a squished kid in the road for sure ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 5:25pm
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I don't know that I would call it abuse but it doesn't make me feel comfortable...but then how is it different from toddler reins? I have no issues with those.
Hmmmmm....not sure I can reach a decision on this one. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ElfsMum
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 5:31pm
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i dont like it at all..it's different to reins(which i also don't like but can understand) because it's for a dog:( and you can only go up and down ..it's not for helping the parent while you are with them in a busy place.. ugh...yuck:( ------------- Mum to two amazing boys! |
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 5:54pm
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LOL!
Lemme tell you a little story. When I was 4 years old, a tornado ripped the fence down from the house we lived in at Browns Bay in Auckland (1984) so poor little escape artist Alex had nowhere to play! Mum and Dad tried everything to amuse me inside while they saved up the money to get a new fence - Insurance back then was so expensive. But Alex kept escaping and running out onto the busy road no matter what measures Mum and Dad tried. Rewards didnt work, Explaining that I would get squished like a bug or some man would come and take me away didnt work. Mum and Dad had a harness for me for when we went shopping as I would take off and run and be no-where to found, so they attached me to it - had a big wire so I could go up and down the garden with a rope so I had a big strip to play, and thats how I played for 8 months while Mum and Dad saved to get the fence fixed. If they didnt do that - I wouldnt be here today telling you this rather amusing story! So you know what, good on that parent for being responsible enough to think that perhaps the kiddy might get looked over because of heaps of family being there and having them on the run! I'd have no problem doing that to my children if I couldnt afford a gate or fence or something to stop them from escaping. Not all children listen! Look at me for example :P ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 5:59pm
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Um I think (and hope) that it was a temp measure until they get a gate or the gate is fixed??? ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: monkey33
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 6:01pm
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I also don't think it is something I would do but I don't feel it is abuse - I think they are thinking more of the child's safety which means they care for the kid.
As long as the child looked comfortable and as mummybecks says as long as it is temporary then I think it would be fine. |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 6:52pm
| I think it was temp - as in the kid didn't live there and was only visiting. I think using the word "abuse" was too strong really, but then i think of my kids - and maybe I would've done it too! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 7:33pm
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It's kinda odd but so long as the parents are outside with the kid, not going inside and leaving him to play by himself tied to the wire, I guess it's no different to reins - just looks bad LOL.
And yea that piece of road is very busy... four lanes. -------------  |
Posted By: Chickaboo
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 7:58pm
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it would look funny and weird but I wouldn't think abuse or report it either. I think they perhaps had to let this kid play or else drive people mad inside. Sounds like what you say Lizzle that the kid wasn't always there so good on them for finding something that works and as it was a very busy road the safest opinion. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
876 |
Posted By: Chickaboo
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 8:00pm
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around 15 years ago I use to use with Josh one of those hand on hand reins, I got it in the Uk when he was 1 and so used it over here when I got back - BOY the looks I got for using it - they were awful looks.... I would of rather used that than him going missing or running onto the road. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
876 |
Posted By: Danaj
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 8:05pm
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Lizzle, what direction was the house in? I have to go down to get some new slippers tomorrow and want to have a look!!
It's a bit weird but hey, better than squished kiddy. And just so you ladies know, that is a VERY busy road. Akin to Gt Sth road in Akl at peak times to give you an idea. ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wyI1oWn/"> 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 8:11pm
| next to the mobil - this was just before New Year - two days before I think - so they might not be there. |
Posted By: cat007
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 8:21pm
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I think it is a fantastic idea as a temporary measure only. I know my 2 year old will run even faster away from me when I say stop - he thinks its a game. We are still working on it. As a mum of twins as well as a young toddler - I have my hands full and as much as I dont like the reins, I have to use them occasionally to keep my oldest safe around dangerous places or when my hands are full with all 3 of them. As I found out the other day, I had to put one of the twins down on the ground (in carseat) and drop bag so that I could chase my oldest before he escaped towards a creek. Its a catch 22 sometimes - leave a baby unattended to keep a toddler safe! Sometimes you just gotta do whatever you can to keep them safe regardless of how it may look to others. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  [/url http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 8:23pm
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*scratches head and tries to remember the Mobil*..... LOL ------------- |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 02 January 2009 at 9:27pm
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I certainly don't think it's ideal nor is it a method I'll be replicating but as Alex said good on them for being responsible enough to come up with a safe alternative. Far better than the alternatives of locking the child inside all summer or letting them play unrestrained next to an extremely busy road. Having said that I feel uncomfortable when I see dogs that are constantly tied to a run, so hearing about children treated the same way doesn't seem right to me. I do wonder how many children were there and how many adults. When we play out the front (which is unfenced and therefore IMO unsafe even for my roadwise preschooler) an adult always plays with Michaela and stands between her and the road rather than sitting back watching from the porch - that would remove the need to tether the child. -------------  
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MissAngel wrote:Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 03 January 2009 at 11:29am
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I don't have any issue with it - it would be more of an issue if the child was unattended and just hanging there, but since there was an adult actively playing with the toddler, IMHO, it sounds fine. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 03 January 2009 at 11:54am
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really how different is it to a play pen......I assume he/she wasnt tethered by a collar round their neck.
We have to do things to keep our kiddies safe and happy (not always the same thing to them) so if that was the compromise that worked for that family I dont have a problem. Much as I dream of such a device I probably wouldnt use it myself. |
Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 03 January 2009 at 1:41pm
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I actually think this sounds like a good idea. I think that keeping a child cooped up all day inside would be horrible. Letting the child run around albeit attached to a wire is letting them play without getting into harm.
I think it would be different if they were attached and left by themselves all day for hours on end but it sounds like the parents were playing ball with him./her and don't want the child to run out onto a very busy road. Edited to add....I think it is a good idea if it is a short term solution. I would hope that they get the gate fixed eventually. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 03 January 2009 at 2:03pm
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I think its an awesome idea and if i was at an unfenced house i would do exactly the same thing i think it was much preferable to another child dying on the roads. I also wouldnt hesitate to do the same thing to an older child if they were likely to run out onto a road without thinking as well. As a child i managed to walk out of the house and 3 blocks to the park while mum looked away for 2 secs and i dont even think i was 2. I was gone for awhile and only returned when someone who knew my parents dropped me back home. Anything could have happened to me i was very lucky.
You can try and teach a child stop and no as much as you like but you certainly dont start next to a busy busy road and expect them to pick it up straight away. Kids are so quick and cunning when they are little and i wouldnt trust an adult to catch them everytime. It would almost be neglect in my eyes if the child wasnt restrained next to such a busy road -------------   
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Posted By: WRXnKids
Date Posted: 03 January 2009 at 2:06pm
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sorry i wasnt spose to sound so annoyed but DP keeps asking me stupid questions while im trying to type -------------
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 03 January 2009 at 2:41pm
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Its definitly not abuse if the parent is there, if the kid was on the run and no one was around then I think thats really mean.
I say good on them, I would rather Caden be on a dog run for a bit so he could run around and play, than be hit by a car, to me it wold be more irrasponable to let your 1-2yr old run around when there is no gate and a busy road. Kids dont listen half the time, epecially at that age so even if you yelled stop, its not always going to work, and when roads are involved, i woudlnt take that risk. ------------- |
Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 03 January 2009 at 4:30pm
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giggles what a sight!
And being another Palmy mum can understand as that road is busy! Good on them and like you said they were out there so not left alone, Kids of that age have no comphrension of cars etc and are just too vunerable. ------------- 
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Posted By: SuperDaddy
Date Posted: 03 January 2009 at 9:22pm
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I think its a brilliant idea (and the image makes me giggle), but better that the kid is safe then splattered on the road! -------------  
 
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 04 January 2009 at 7:05am
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yeah to be honest I think its great idea i use to attach Alan to my cloth's line while i was outside doing wasing when Mikey was really little cause I could not trust him in the house line was a wee way from house and we had no fence he was ony 18 month's I would have never got my washing done otherwise. Like other's have said the adult's were outside playing too and yes that has to the busiest road in PN. Even and active adult would have had trouble to catch a fast 2 year old before car's were going past etc. Good on them for puttting child safety first. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 04 January 2009 at 10:38am
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I agree, as long as the kid isn't just left outside alone (with bowl of water) all day, it's just supervised play then good on them!
Sometimes parents just have to do what they feel is best for their kids and not worry about what others think. -------------   
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 04 January 2009 at 1:53pm
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you know what ? knowing what kids are like , I bet the child thought it was great fun anyway ------------- 
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