The ethics of IVF, what a dilemma!
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Support
Forum Name: Coping with infertility
Forum Description: Have you been trying to conceive unsuccessfully? Dealing with primary or secondary infertility? Get support, advice, and help coping here.
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23498
Printed Date: 29 April 2025 at 3:01am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: The ethics of IVF, what a dilemma!
Posted By: bubbles
Subject: The ethics of IVF, what a dilemma!
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 9:59am
|
Hi, my husband and i are due to start the IVF process - from my next period in just over a week (I would have to take the pill for three weeks first).
The problem is that we both still have many questions about the ethics. We thought we might be just about sorted: we had decided that the safest and most ehtical option was to let them fertilise two eggs only, but the trouble with that is they could easily both be duds and we would have to start the expensive process all over again. The more we research, the less ethical it seems, and the more questions and doubts we get. Neither of us believes its right to throw unwanted embryos away as life begins at conception (adopting them out would be too weird). We also have trouble with the idea of freezing embryos given the well known adverse effects on an embryo of the thawing process. So here I am, apparently infertile, very much wanting a baby, and kind of stuck in an ethical dilemma while the start date of IVF looms nearer. What to do...?! |
Replies:
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 10:40am
 I have sent you a pm.-------------  
|
Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 10:52am
|
All I can say is that you have to follow your heart and do what is right for you - no one can tell you what you should or shouldn't do.
In fertilising 2 eggs the chance of neither reaching embryo stage is exceptionally high - we had 18 eggs, did ICSI and had 6 embryos in the end. But, if you fertilised them all and ended up destroying a number, how would you feel? Which feelings would outweigh the others? IVF is a hard road from so many different angles and the emotional ups and downs don't just come from hormones and drugs and that side of things. I wish you all the best with your decision - it's one we all (or all IVFers) face, and I don't think anyone finds it particuarly easy. ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 11:21am
|
I think I would have the same dilemma as you .. Im just fortunate that so far I havent had to face the same decision.
Somedays I think .. If God wanted me to have a baby he would make me pregnant On other days I think ... But he put the doctors on the earth and gave them the technology to help, so maybe thats his way of helping me I agree with Ginger though .. only you can decide how each decision would make you feel and all I can do is send a virtual ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
|
Posted By: tamrib
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 5:17pm
|
Well, here is my two cents.
I've done 4 cycles of IVF and have had as few as 2 eggs from a cycle (and they didn't fertilize properly) and as many as 13 eggs. I got pregnant in my 2nd cycle but lost the baby at 17 weeks and thank goodness I had more embryos in the freezer to try again....not that they worked. In my fourth cycle of IVF, I had 6 viable embryos from 13 eggs. I transferred one embryo fresh, froze the rest and then began to transfer them one by one as each cycle did not work. On my third transfer, we had to thaw 2 embryos because the first one did not survive the thaw. The 2nd embryo to thaw became my beautiful daughter. We had one embryo left in the freezer and like you, couldn't bring ourselves to donate it or discard it, so we transferred it figuring it would never work. I am now pregnant with twins. Having been through IVF a number of times, my opinion is that it is going to be what it is going to be. There are no guarantees that you will have any eggs fertilize or become pregnant and at the same time, the first embryo might take and you will be left with 10 in the freezer. IVF is an invasive, emotional, expensive process and I personally would let all the eggs you manage to get be fertilized. You have to remember that a number of those that fertilize will not be viable anyway and it isn't really possible to tell which eggs are going to be the "ones". As for frozen embryos...I'm not sure what adverse effects you are talking about as all of my children have now come from frozen embryos. Technology is very good now and I have read that freezing can actually improve the embryo quality. Best of luck in your decision making. It is not easy but don't limit yourself. Cross each bridge as you come to it. |
Posted By: Kazper
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 8:07pm
|
Hi there,
I have just finished my second cycle of IVF ICSI and I had about 14 really good looking eggs both times, but by the time transfer came I only had one egg that survived on my first cycle and two on my second. We are waiting to use our frozen embryo from second cycle next month. I can understand how your feeling, but also remember, you have probably read a lot of this stuff from the internet which is a dangerous thing to do at a time like this. I got caught in that web and it made me feel worse. I had to stop looking and just go with what was in my heart. Just make sure what ever decision you make, you won't regret it. I'm sure if you get a baby out of all of this, you will feel it was well worth it. Karen 
|
Posted By: bubbles
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 9:42pm
|
what an overwhelming response, thank you so much everyone. I will re read the messages a few times - Im sure they will help.
xo |