I hate my breasts - No more breastfeeding
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Topic: I hate my breasts - No more breastfeeding
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Subject: I hate my breasts - No more breastfeeding
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 2:31pm
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I have no idea which section of the forums to put this in, so here will have to suffice.
Over the past few weeks I've been feeling awful everytime Lucas demands the breast. For so long now he's been yanking the crap out of them, stretching them in a million diff directions and just expecting the boob 24/7. He's still waking 2-3 times minimum per night and to say I'm over it, would be a total understatement. Thing is, my breasts have really changed shape, not just the normal saggy breasts some get from breastfeeding for an extended amount of time, they seem to have excess skin, very wrinkly ...when i lie flat on my back they actually sink in where the nipple is. It's horrible to say the least, and really getting me down but I'm not sure that theres a hell of a lot i can do about it. So today, I decided enough is enough. No more breastfeeding. He's not going to like it, theres going to be tantrums galore but I can't let my body deteriorate any further. Don't care how selfish that sounds, it's making me really unhappy and affecting the way I feel about breastfeeding and about Lucas. Has anyone else had this problem, is there anything I can do? I have private medical insurance but I'm pretty sure that it doesn't cover anything to do with breasts. And theres no way I can really save the money for it myself. Also with weaning, is there something I can do to make the process easier, I'm sure I once heard that you can rub something on your nipples to stop them from wanting it? (or im just imagining this) Any advice, stories ...anything would be appreciated. I'm feeling quite sorry for myself and down about the whole thing atm. |
Replies:
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 2:32pm
I have no advice sorry, just starting on the BF journey myself, but wanted to give you this
Good luck with the weaning xx ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 2:35pm
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Also is there any specific bra that I could maybe invest in, that may help with the support side of things. I'm a D cup (well last time I brought a bra, may have dropped in size) but they are still reasonably heavy for my frame.
Any exercises I could do to try and get the muscle tone back? I'm desperate for ideas ...anything really at this point. If anyone can supply me with a winning lotto ticket, that'd be great too! |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 2:38pm
| Thank you kiwisj, and good on you for breastfeeding. Usually I'm a breastfeeding advocate, and any future kids I would still like to breastfeed 100% without fail....but err after 21.5 months I'm really over the whole ordeal atm. Very draining to say the least. My boy is on/off throughout the day & night and I've let him have his way for far too long. |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 2:45pm
| My breasts were appalling once i finished with Jake and Taine, but three years on (and must have been sooner than that, just I didn't notice), they are back to their normal elasticity and shape (albeit, smaller) - so don't stress yet. Give them time before writing them off. |
Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 3:24pm
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as a personal trainer the best thing i can suggest is chest press or bench press (if you belong to a gym) if not, then press ups, if you cant do a full press up do it on a swiss ball to start with. anything straining the chest will help your boobs lift back into place. search the net for chest exercises or go to mynewbody.com.au and find their body map and look for chest exercises on there. should help heaps ------------- 
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Posted By: freckle
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 3:27pm
Damn good effort buzzybee!!  ... I have recently finished feeding my wee one too - but I only lasted 10.5 months...
Must be so hard with him still waking so much at night - you must be shattered! When I weaned Holly she was pretty ready to stop - and quite happy to have a bottle as long as she still got cuddles while having it, but you don't really wanna introduce a bottle at nearly two if he's not already having one ... I also cut down one feed at a time so it was quite a gradual thing which made it easier on Holly... plus she was getting filled up more by the formula and preferred it in the end I think... Lizzle - that is sooooo good to hear they go back to normal!! I too had been thinking how horrid and saggy mine were looking  ------------- mum to 3 lovely girls :D |
Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 4:00pm
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Sounds just like my breasts. Infact the only reason I have any at all at the moment is because theres still some milk in there, I am not looking forward to stopping after Maddi as I am pretty sure there will be nithing there at all I lost a lot of weight after having Keira and I think my boobs went a long with all the rest. One day if im rich I maybe will try get them back at the moment I will have to do with push up bras and extra padding
Gosh you are amazing carring on as long as you did I stopped feeding Keira at 18 months and I did it quite gradually. She was already drinking cows milk during the day so I just dropped 1 feed at a time and once she got used to one less feed I would drop another one, it maybe took a few weeks all up. We gave her water in a bottle if she ever woke in the night and at first she may have protested but after a few times of waking up and not getting milk she never bothered waking again. We have only just stopped giving her the bottle of water when she goes to bed (I think that was harder to stop than the bfing) Good Luck! ------------- 
 
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 5:11pm
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No advice sorry, but you are amazing to have BF for as long as you did. You're definitely not being selfish. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: fallen
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 6:06pm
| NaturoPharm has a product called Milk Stop, which could help. |
Posted By: Chickaboo
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 7:36pm
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I don;t think Private health insurance would pay for any 'plastic surgery' IF you can get a doctor to say it was causeing a bad back, neck strain or somethong like that then your insurance might pay part of the costs.... ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
876 |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 7:44pm
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As far as nights go, is that just a lately thing or has he always demand fed 2-3 times per night? I suggest that you go in there with a bottle of water - warm if you like. Don't put him in the feeding position, sit him upright on your knee. He will not need any food (not even cows milk) in the night and after a couple of struggles you should find that he gives up on night waking altogether - because it's no longer rewarding.
The sags and bags - you'll need to not worry about these for a little while. I'm not sure that him being rough with you has any bearing on them being saggy, it's pretty normal when you are near weaning for them to go like that. Basically it probably confirms that he is really to be weaned because he is not feeding adequately to really keep the milk store high. About two weeks after you have weaned him, get a new bra fitting and wear push-ups for a little while, they will at least help your self-image as far as the boobs go. It's not too difficult to wean off bf, although I did it with 11mos not 21, and 11mos forget much quicker. Whenever he nuzzles in for a feed, either turn him around (with his back to your chest) and read him a story, or say "are you hungry?" and get him a drink and/or a snack. You will probably feel that in the first few days you are on your feet a lot, changing the demand bf to demand "pantry" feeding, but it will pass quickly. From there, and especially near 2yrs, you should be able to get him into a food routine (if he isn't already) with three main meals a day and morning and afternoon tea. Remember to offer him a drink of water with his meals, he will notice the thirst a bit more having just weaned. Also if he is used to a night feed, at his age it's probably just as easy to wean the whole lot rather than introduce a bottle of milk now. Hope that helps!!  -------------  |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 9:18pm
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I just wanted to say its not the breastfeeding that makes them like that its having the baby as even if you don't breastfeed your boobs still make the extra tissue which causes the sag. So once you stop your boobs will be like what they would if you had only breastfed for a few weeks.
Anyway mine look the same too its like they are the same size they were pre kids but minus half the filling, real attractive Hopefully they fill out a bit after they stop making milk.
Good luck with the weaning I have no real advice for such a boob addict. |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 9:21pm
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Thanks for your replies everyone. I appreciate it, I also apologise that my original post was a bit woe is me. I was having one of those days iykwim.
I think we will be able to wean pretty easy, its just that with living at my parents still ....we are sharing a bedroom still, his cot is basically right next to my bed ...can they smell your milk? Just makes the night waking a bit harder, and the fact that he's made a habit out of waking, climbing out of his cot, climbing into my bed (all whilst the lights are off, and most the time im still asleep ) and he just pulls my top down and helps himself ...some mornings I wake up and I have no recollection of him getting up during the night, but he's next to me all snuggled in tight with my boob hanging out.
I know he doesn't NEED it anymore, his appetite is FINALLY starting to pick up where food is concerned ...and I think half the problem with his eating is that he expects/has far too much breastmilk and always has been a big milk drinker. Not that it has harmed him, by all means but he's too old now and to be quite frank I'm sick of it. Sick of feeling so drained and tired, sick of having my breasts yanked etc. I gave him a feed before bed, I think I will keep that one feed before bedtime for the rest of the week and combat the night time waking and during the day milk snacks first. Might be too drastic if I cut it off altogether, plus its an emotional thing (on both sides) too. That bond, i'll miss it. |
Posted By: lovingmummyhood
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 9:30pm
I think you've done amazingly well 
All the best for tonight  Hope its not too hard on you (he'll be ok) ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 10:00pm
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That sounds like a good plan to follow. When I weaned Kahtrell @ around 14 months I dropped to night feeds and then after a while he didn't need them anymore. You are a definite trooper!...and yea it's a little sad when you don't have that bond going anymore, but lovely cuddle suffices! lolz ------------- 
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Posted By: razzmatazz
Date Posted: 06 January 2009 at 10:23pm
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rachandjack lol!! i love that, half the filling!! so true.
i have had three kids and all of them only bf for about 4 months or so (lost milk super quick) and i have these saggy bags of skin with nipples! argh not the most attractive. but thank god for padded bras and im hoping they eventually fill out a bit.
it can be a bit depressing, i remember after DD#1 i was so depressed about my boobs i used to dream of plastic surgery, i even used to shower with bra on so i didnt have to look at them but now kind of given up caring. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: Danaj
Date Posted: 07 January 2009 at 9:47am
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My mum had what the docs called "Chronic Withering". Not pretty at all. She had implants as she couldn't handle it anymore.
I made DH agree that I could have mine fixed after all the babies were done and dusted. He really had no choice as I said No Boobs, then No Babies! Strangely enough he didn't protest very much....... Good on you chick for keeping it up for so long. You've done a bang up job and I think you're right in putting a bit of focus back on to yourself. ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wyI1oWn/"> 
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Posted By: AandCsmum
Date Posted: 07 January 2009 at 10:42am
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My boobs went tiny & saggy after BF for a long time but they did eventually right themselves, mind you my whole body lost a heap of weight while I BF.
How about getting some aloe vera plant and rubbing that on, it's foul when it's on your fingers & that would shock him in to rejecting them. ------------- Kel http://lilypie.com"> 
A = 01.02.04 & C = 16.01.09 & G = 30.03.12 |
Posted By: sparkle
Date Posted: 07 January 2009 at 5:40pm
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How did you get on with the night waking/feeding?
I'm all ears as I'm thinking of doing the same soon. I don't mind the bedtime feed, but I'm beginning to dread the middle of the night ones. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 07 January 2009 at 6:21pm
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How did it go Steph??? ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 07 January 2009 at 8:10pm
Well he woke as per usual, I gave in as per usual  but when he woke this morn and climbed in my bed I refused and made him go play. Gosh by lunch time I was engorged ....ugh don't ya hate that?!
I'm trying to cut it down to just the one feed before bed time, goal is to totally stop b/feeding by his 2nd birthday. It's hard doing this whilst living with my parents coz Dad doesn't wanna be woken in the middle of the night by a screaming kid and his room is next to mine ... 
I'm going to *try* and not give in tonight. |
Posted By: keoden
Date Posted: 07 January 2009 at 8:33pm
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Hi there!
I've just stopped doing night feeds for my nearly one year old. I followed a technique in a book I have called Baby Love. When bubs starts crying go in and briefly comfort by giving a wee pat and some soothing words, then leave, do not linger. Go back in after three minutes then do the same (only if still crying), then after five minutes, then after ten, then 20 minute periods until the crying stops. Settle down with a book or the tele and prepare yourself for a stint of night duty, apparently it can take 5 to 7 days to break this habit, it took me three. Of course only do this if you are comfortable with leaving your baby to cry, if you can't bear your baby crying (totally understandable) then totally ignore me! I only did it because I got so desperate and exhausted. Not sure if it'll work when you're in the same room, perhaps if you'd like to give this a go you can arrange something with your parents so he can have a room to himself for a bit and they're aware that there may be a bit of crying during the night. I'm hoping to wean totally soon, I'm finding I'm getting quite run down. Although it is a lovely bond to have with one's baby
All the very best Nate's Mum. |
Posted By: keoden
Date Posted: 07 January 2009 at 8:35pm
| PS: Cudos to you for breast feeding for so long. Awesome, awesome job! |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 07 January 2009 at 9:41pm
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Charly hasn't had a feed for over a week now, and how I finally did it was started wearing normal bras, then it wasd a hassle to "give in" and get boobie out, and she couldn't find the clips, so I said milk all gone. She soon got the picture. I had to wean her down to one feed tho, and i did that with the dreaded bottle of cows milk, distraction and sitting, cuddling and beign firm with the NO! Good luck and well done! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: sparkle
Date Posted: 07 January 2009 at 9:43pm
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I'm sitting here listening to Coop cry, trying very hard not to cave in!
DH has stroped off to bed, he hates hearing him cry, no support as usual!!! Good luch for tonight Steph! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Mum2ET
Date Posted: 14 January 2009 at 9:34pm
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Just wondering how you were going with the wearning? ------------- Mum to Ella (5) and Tom (2) |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 14 January 2009 at 10:42pm
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Some days better than others, we've partially cracked the day feeds in that I'm getting better at saying no and distracting him. Tonight he went to bed with no breast before putting him in his cot to settle himself. Made it easier that I was really annoyed with him after realising he's scratched almost our entire CD/DVD collection . Didn't feel so bad telling him 'NO' and putting him straight in his cot.
Now we just have to get onto the night feeds, some nights he has only woken once lately....really depends. I've got a new fan in our room, i think it helps him sleep a lil better at night (our room was stifling beforehand) and the noise from the fan. I turned it off a few nights ago and he woke up screaming and pointing at it, i turned it back on and he happily went back to sleep 
Kids eh! |
Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 15 January 2009 at 8:49am
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Pleased to hear its going wellish for you!
Did you end up taking that house you guys were going to move into? ------------- TTC 6 years IVF it is IVF/ICSI round one 10 eggs, 8 mature, 3 fertilised BFN IVF/ICSI #2 = 22 eggs! 20 mature, 15 fertilised, 1 fresh transfer and 2 frosties BFN 2 Frosties still in freezer thank god |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 15 January 2009 at 10:25am
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We ended up turning the house down in Waiuku as I didn't have enough $$$ for the moving in costs (bond, letting fee etc) and it was a good 35mins from my parents and family, not sure if I'm ready to move THAT far away from them for starters iykwim.
Now we just Saving as much as we can atm and will start looking again in feb . Goal is to be out by his bday in March. Looking forward to having separate bedrooms finally!
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Posted By: Mum2ET
Date Posted: 15 January 2009 at 11:21am
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sounds like it is going well then. I think I am going to have to start this process in a couple of months time , as it seems the older she gets the more addicated to b/f she becomes. ------------- Mum to Ella (5) and Tom (2) |
Posted By: IVFGirl1111
Date Posted: 15 January 2009 at 11:46am
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Yep totally makes sense Steph - good on you!
ETA the wee star face! ------------- TTC 6 years IVF it is IVF/ICSI round one 10 eggs, 8 mature, 3 fertilised BFN IVF/ICSI #2 = 22 eggs! 20 mature, 15 fertilised, 1 fresh transfer and 2 frosties BFN 2 Frosties still in freezer thank god |
Posted By: miss
Date Posted: 17 January 2009 at 2:05pm
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How are things going?
i am not weaning, but have cut back, actually I think Lily has cut back, day feeds so she no longer has them. We still feed morning and night, and I do do middle of the night feeds if I have to. Luckily sleeping through is getting more and more regular so nighttime feeds are happening less often! Yay! We had a night away from her so she had no morning or night feed and slept through, so she copes happily without them. Shame you can't organise a night or two away! (I would only reccomend it if you know he would be happy of course). -------------  
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