The "right" time?
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Topic: The "right" time?
Posted By: ALittleLoopy
Subject: The "right" time?
Date Posted: 09 January 2009 at 9:19pm
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Im just wondering if theres anyone out there that can help me/ give me their opinion on the "right time"/"right age" to have your first. I am 21 and so is my husband. Weve been married a year now but have been together for nearly 4 years. Im out of work due to health problems but was doing part time and he does part time and is studying for his degree. We have a funny situation because we rent a seperate house on the same rural property as my parents in law but hey its a live in baby sitter later :P
We are thinking alot about have our first as I endo and myo which wasnt fixed by edoscopy. Im just wondering what everyones opinion is as i have my parents saying dont be silly your too young, youll never have anything blah blah blah and the inlaws saying we support you and understand....im really close with my family and am worried what they would think when I tell them im pregnant.... If you need more info just ask... Help please? wanna be mum |
Replies:
Posted By: Bubbaloo
Date Posted: 09 January 2009 at 9:22pm
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Well if you both want a baby now I don't see the harm in starting to try for one now it never will seem like there's a right time to have a bay if you what for it if your both ready to I say go for it. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  Was danni-chick Mum to James My Angel 28/07/08 |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 09 January 2009 at 9:29pm
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Do what ever works for you and your partner, there is no 'right time'. If you think you are both ready then go for it. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Danaj
Date Posted: 09 January 2009 at 9:32pm
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I wouldn't have been ready at 21. I'm 30 now and this is our first. I'm glad we waited as I think we are both going to be better parents for it.
In saying that, I didn't have endo or any health problems that could interfere with conception. ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wyI1oWn/"> 
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Posted By: Danaj
Date Posted: 09 January 2009 at 9:33pm
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BTW, that wasn't a dig at anyone who started young, only a comment on our personal situation, not anyone elses. ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wyI1oWn/">
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 09 January 2009 at 9:36pm
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I agree that there will never be a "right" time. I had my first at 21, totally unplanned and definitely NOT the "right" time - but I wouldn't change it for the world and it has shaped the way my life has evolved and I am totally happy with the way things worked out!
Only you and your DH can decide if now is a good time for you both. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 09 January 2009 at 9:37pm
Deleted Double Post ------------- 
 
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Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 09 January 2009 at 9:37pm
There is nothing wrong with living out the back of your parents. Infact I highly recommend having kids while you are still there
I have been living out the back of my parents for over 3 years now and they have been there though all the big things, and small, in their lives. Having built in Babysitters is a bonus too  As long as you have the space and you are still able to be independent I would say dont let the living situation hold you back.
I too was also a young mum, having my first at 19. I say if you feel ready then to have babies young isn't a bad thing, its a whole new experience for everyone with hard times for anyone what ever the age (and it Kapiti 21 isn't considered young at all ) There is always pro and cons to having babies young, I think its great because your body seems to handle it pretty well and then you when the child is older and at school you are still young enough to carry on studying or working whatever.
Dont worry about your parents - I am sure they will quickly get over it, even if at first they do think you are a little nuts
I would say if you feel ready and its what you and you Dh really want then go for it. I dont know much about the medical stuff but I would want to start trying as soon as I could. -------------
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Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 09 January 2009 at 9:37pm
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Ditto here Danaj, but that was just me, and it wasn't something I wanted then.
If you think you're ready, then I don't think others opinions should hold much weight. It may pay to look at your income vs expenses when you've had the baby (but if you're not working, that may not be a big issue) and if you're in the right place health-wise. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 09 January 2009 at 9:43pm
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There's no right time. Sometimes it can work best when you have been together for a while and your relationship has "matured". Other people find it easier to do all the changing and adjusting while they are still young. I was married at 20 and bubs #1 came along 10 months later (We were told to relax, it could take two years.... LOL). And now we're up to #4 and both still in our 20's.
With the endo complication though, my advice would be - don't leave it too late! Except that no one really knows when too late is either. If you feel ready now, then throw away the condoms and have fun ------------- |
Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 09 January 2009 at 10:20pm
| Follow your heart. Get some savings under your belt befoe you have baby, but if you really think you are ready I'd start shopping for some of the things you need so you either a) have them or b) realise just how much they will cost. You need to have love for each other above all, as having a child (and just being pregnant for ages) puts a relationship through incredibly tough times. Its special, its a great commitment, its rewarding and its bl**dy hard work. Are you ready to give up your "freedom"? No more late nights out, no eating whatever you want? I'm so happy in my role as a mum, but its sooo hard on my relationship as it makes any difference in values so very clear. I love my daughter with all my heart, I'm proud to be a full-time mum, but that doesnt mean its easy. |
Posted By: MrsH
Date Posted: 09 January 2009 at 10:37pm
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It's a toughie and has made me think.
I'm 29 and am pregnant with my first. I'm glad we waited because: - We're financially secure (horrible reason NOT to have kids but hey, that's life) - Our relationship has seen it's share of ups/downs and we feel we're now ready for anything - My career is in a place where I can go back to it quite easily On the other hand, sometimes I wish we'd started earlier so that we wouldn't be 'old' parents.... (if you know what I mean). I also feel like such a novice at this whole pregnancy thing that I feel like a walking contradiction. Like being pregnant has made me feel young and inexperienced again. Stupid and hard to explain but when I see some of my friends and they have 5+ year olds, I feel a bit like johnny-come-lately. Bit of a ramble (sorry about that). Strange that your parents are against it because you're too young. What did they say when you decided to get married? Plus, do they understand the effects of endo? ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 12:19am
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I was 21..my DP 19 when I fell pregnant with DS..wasn't planned, but most definitely my most prized accomplishment thus far in my life. I think that if it's somethin both you and your husband want, and you believe in your heart then anytime is the right time. Being a good parent has nothing to do with age or status. Don't worry about living behind your in laws...we did for the first year of DS's life. Your parents will come around to the idea if you fall pregnant. My mum was really upset when she found out I was pregnant with DS....she wanted me to finish my degree and travel the world before settling down and having children. So I wrote her a letter, just saying how I felt and how much of a blessing this was etc etc. Next minute she was wanting to whisk me away to have the baby back home and to live at home for the first month!....she was the dotting grandmother buying lots of practical things before he arrived. So don't worry about them. You have supportive inlaws, a supportive husband, and having a child @ 21 is not the end of the world. Now I'm back into my studies, and just got back from a trip to Solo Dunedin (ok so it's not the world..but one step at a time lol) ------------- 
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Posted By: CuriousG
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 7:44am
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Looking back, there was no way I was ready for a baby at 21. However, at the time I would have given anything to have one (the urge was incredible). I had my first at 26 and even then my parents thought that I was too young! In fact, they are urging us to wait to have another (but thats not their decision).
While being a parent is very rewarding, its really really hard too. It changes your life forever. Honestly, IMO, I would wait a little longer, enjoy being young and kid free, go and do things that you will find harder with a child (like dining out, going to the movies, travelling - if that is your thing, having parties etc). As I said, its just my opinion, but once you have kids, you can't put them back (and trust me, sometimes, you want too!) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: blondy
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 8:26am
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Just my opinion too, but I also wouldn't have been ready at 21. I'm turning 30 soon, and I'm happy that we've been able to buy our own home & get some savings under our belt, we've travelled overseas a fair amount, and I've made some inroads into my career. All these things we could also have done with kids, but it would have been much more difficult. I also feel like I have some real life experience to bring being a Mum into context with my life. I also feel glad that DH & I got to spend some good quality time together just the 2 of us before Natalie came along.
Obviously, no-one can make the decision for you, but as has been said above, there's no going back! And it is much harder work than I ever expected!-------------  
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 9:02am
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At 21 I wasnt ready, but I was single and had not long broken up with my long tern partner.
Im 26 now and have been with my DF for 2 years and we decided to start trying when we had been together 6 months, our familys were shocked and told us we were silly, but now our son is 6 months old and we have another one on the way and we are getting married in March, our familys are fine now, they just love their grandson to bits. Do you YOU feel is right for you, not your family. Its your life your choice. ------------- |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 9:17am
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At 19 , (20 when I had her) I wasn't ready , I also was single , and still had ....some life lessons to learn , but I managed, , had great support which is so important , was a struggle at times, but I think my daughter is pretty cool, funny, friendly well adjusted and ive done a pretty good job considering .
If you feel like you are ready, then do it, its your life , a wise women on here once said to me "it is easier to ask for forgiveness, than beg for permission"or words to that affect, basically , once you are pregnant , there isn't much your parents can do to stop you . Go with your instinct , thats usually right . and Dana? your'e 30 ? get OUT, you are not ! well you don't look it , ( i mean that as a compliment btw) ------------- 
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Posted By: ALittleLoopy
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 10:31am
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Hi guys me again, we think along the same lines with the get some money behind us as weve only got about 6000 in our savings but that is growing rapidly. My mum has alot of my baby stuff and i have already bought some bits like some clothes, cross stitched some bibs and toys etc when i get really clucky :P
The thing is we feel like we are ready in ourselves but dont really know if our situation is ready for the baby.... We arent like most average 21 year olds we never go out on late nights, we dont go out to movies and parties alot we prefer to stay at home together and plant out our big vege garden and watch movies at home snuggled on the couch etc. We are considered very boring by 99% of our friends but this is the way we like it. Also one thing i will stick to is I want all my kids before im 30. I have a very close friend whos just turned 30. She had her first unplanned at 21 and he latest at 29 planned. she said she noticed a major diferrence in her bodies way of coping and found that her second pregnancy was hell! Also my mum had me at 32 and my bro at 33 1/2. If she wasnt a young minded woman then she would have trouble keeping up with us, i personally think that after 30 is getting a bit on the older side, no offense to the older ones out there coz i want your opinion too but i want to be able to really enjoy every aspect of my kids lives and healthy and energetic enough to do it! Another quick thing is that my chances with endo severely lower after 30years and since i found my one and only early andnot when im 28 or whatever I figure its my opportunity to have a younger family? my problem is how young is too young? I used to think first at 25 and second at 27 and then i have time for a 3rd if i wanted but now its lowered as you can read... |
Posted By: Febgirl
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 10:43am
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Just a quick note, the average age for a woman to have her first baby in NZ is now 30, so having a baby in your early 30s isn't considered "old" anymore
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Posted By: ALittleLoopy
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 10:52am
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HAHA yes so iv been told by my "your too young" mother. I know thats what they say but theres also alot of extremes balancing it out like i know a couple of my mums younger friends aka 45's are having their first but i personally think thats wrong for the child but thats just my opinion.
Also its because woman are now choosing to set up a career now and do that for most of their twenties and then settling down. When I look around me though I have more friends that have now had babies and scarily pretty much all of them had girls lol so as I said its 30 because thats the middle number between the extremes like the 45s and the 15yo school girls. anyway just my opinion of course but it all depends on situation, alot of people dont meet the right man till theyr 30... |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 11:13am
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I was 22 when I had my first. I wasn't married but we had ben together for a few years. 3 months before I got pregnant I had surgery to remove stage 3 endo, I was told by one reg to go on the pill and by another to try and get pregnant now, we followed the advice of the other reg and I was pregnant within the month. I won't worry what other people think, so long as you both are happy with what you want to do. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: Mum_mum
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 11:18am
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Ive just turned 23, got married at 21 and we have been trying on and off for a year now for a bubba. Same as you, we are not like most young couples, we don't really go out partying or clubbing or anything, we prefer to stay at home and we are rather settled.
However, We do own our own home and my hubby has his own business, im just about finished studying as well as having a fulltime job so i think we are ready and in a better situation than older people i know. Really its up to you guys, although babies do cost alot for the start ups and on going clothes etc, they don't yet know that you dont have a lot of money they only really need a stable, caring and loving family. my 2 cents  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
Angel baby - May 2008
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 11:38am
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I have kinda skimmed some of the responses.
I got married when I was 21, we had been married 6 months when I found out I was preggers. There is no ideal time but we were in the right head space that although it was an initial shock we were happy. Each and every person is different. Having a baby is scary and really exciting at the same time. If you guys feel you are ready go for it. Once bubs is here you'll find you won't get the "too young" comments. I sure haven't had it. I had one comment when I was preggers and told the person to keep their opinion to themselves if it wasn't helpful. |
Posted By: ALittleLoopy
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 11:56am
Iv had the too young thing from my parents mostly and the "im too young to be a grandma" one lol CONGRATS on number two btw |
kebakat wrote:Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 12:01pm
| hehe my mum and dad are youngish grandparents but at least they have the energy to chase after a toddler |
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 12:39pm
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I was 18 when I had Janaya (unplanned) Had been with DH for a year. It was very hard, I was in the middle of study and we were living at my parents. But, we made it. And I dont regret her for a minute.
If I look back now of course things would have been a lot different. We havent travelled, we havent got a house either, and sometimes I do think "what if". But Janaya changed my life in the best way possible, I was more determined to finish my studies and I definately matured. My poor mum was a grandma at 39 But i just love watching her with the kids, shes got so much energy and Im so glad my kids have their grandparents and great-grandparents around.
We have still gone overseas and Im sure we'll get around to buying a house in the near future. It hasnt been all bad thats for sure. Kids are hard work, but so rewarding. I cant imagine my life without them. Best of luck with your decision. ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 2:07pm
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I was 37 when I had fay (first and probably only) and still feel too young to have a 2 year old, it's different horses for different courses - you do what feel right for your curcumstances and situation
Having said that, I know Fay will keep us young, we act like kids most of the time anyway, ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 2:52pm
Yeah I saw this mentioned somewhere and I was quite shocked, about 70% of the girls I went to high school with now have 1 or more kids (and we're all around the 21 mark). So many young mothers out there, you only have to trawl through the likes of bebo and other social networking sites to see how young some of them get (IMO anything under 20, you aren't really ready to have a kid). I found out I was preg at 18, had my boy at 19 and now I'm 21 and he's nearly 2. Boy time goes fast. I'm a single mother living with my parents currently, but planning to make the big move out on our own before his 2nd Bday in late march. I do personally think that anything under 20 is too young to have a baby, but I was lucky in that I was mature for my age, never a drinker or party gal, I didn't feel like I was going to miss out on anything through having Lucas since I'd basically lived it up whilst I was young, and I made the hard decision to distance myself from the friends I had at the time (none had children and were far too immature for my liking and all linked in some form or another to my son's father -whom we have nothing to do with, but thats a diff story). It does really come down to where you're at in life. If I was you I'd personally go with it, even if you start trying now there's no guarantee you'll get pregnant first off, could take months of trying ...AND you won't stop work until probably in the third trimester so that'd give you still a good 7-8 months to save heaps of $$$ (if you were to fall preg straight away). It's something both of you agree on, definitely don't let your parents sway your decision if it's what you'd both like. |
Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 2:54pm
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When I was 21 I personally wasnt ready to have children. I was finishing my studies, enjoying my life and starting my career.
There is never a "right time" to have children and if your ready then I say go for it. Having said that, it is an 16 - 18 odd year commitment, baby's arent baby's for very long. I guess for you, perhaps what you need to think about is are you ready overall not just financially and emotionally? Do you want to travel first? Do you want to get a bigger savings up first? Buy your first home etc? Good luck with your decision ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 4:08pm
That's probably cause old bags like me in their mid 30s don't have a clue how to use bebo.
I certainly wasn't ready to have children at 21, so much changes in your 20s, its hard to think of what I would have done if I'd had children young. I'm only feeling ready now at 35, and wasn't remotely interested in children until I hit 30. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 4:32pm
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When I was 21 I wanted to have kids ASAP but although I was with DH (not married though), we went on to separate for a year while he travelled and I finished uni and didn't get married till last year. Now I'm 26 and I've just had my first wee boy.
I think if you were single and asking the same question, or your DH wasn't keen on kids, then it would be easy to say "wait, don't do it" but if it's what you and your husband really want I don't see that it's much different from what I have done myself apart from a few years age gap. You have supportive in laws and your have somewhere decent to live (nothing wrong with living at the back of your in laws - make the most of it!), it's more than a lot of others have on their side when they try to conceive. You can still travel with a baby, it's harder but it's possible. You'll still be able to live overseas if that's what you want. You probably won't go backpacking and work in a London pub but that doesn't sound like something you want (just assuming, from what you've written about yourself). You've got the whole endo thing thrown in there as well, I know that would make me want to try sooner rather than later too if I were in your shoes. Anyhoo, sorry for the novel, but the point is really that only you and DH can make this decision. We're all just telling you what we would do Good luck ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 10:05pm
ROFL I never wanted kids! Last thing on my mind at the time, now I wouldn't be without him. And I want more, when the time is 'right' and I am settled with a nice man. |
Posted By: peachy
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 10:39pm
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As with everything there are pro's and con's to whatever age you decide to have children as you are probably well aware!!
Coming from someone that is now 31 and had my first at the grand old age of 30 in hindsight I would have preferred to have had my children at around 25ish. I think 25 is a good age maturity wise and also gives you a chance to live life and get a bit of savings and perhaps a house behind you.
Having my children in my 30's though has enabled us to provide things for our children we never would have been able to if we had decided to have children when we were younger. We have been together 8 years, married for 2 years, travelled the world extensively, both seperately with friends and then together as a couple, bought a family homein a great area and best of all I can be a stay at home Mum until our kids go to school! So although I would have loved to have our children younger, I don't regret for one moment waiting until it was the "right" time for us. Just my perspective on things anyway! Best of luck with your decision ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: 11111
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 10:50pm
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I think you should go for it you are in a solid relationship I am guessing considering your married sound's like his parent's are supportive etc why wait.
I had my first the day after I turned 24 would have been earlier had I meet my man sooner. We were the same as someone else mentioned pretty boring we worked and hung out at home pretty happily so having kid's never really cut into our social life in fact it has gotten better since having kid,s. The only thing I wish I had done was maybe owned a hosue but to be honest kinda pleased we don't too cause if anything goes wrong we don't have to pay to fix it. As far as people saying oh your will miss out on stuff you will get the benefit of havign the other end of your lives to travel and live and still be young enough to enjoy it.. ------------- Deborah Mum to:   
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Posted By: arohanui
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 10:51pm
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I'm a youngish mum... was married at 21, got preggie on our 1st wedding anniversary, and had my boy when I was 22. I'm 23 now (nearly 24) and my boy is nearly a year old.
In saying that though, I felt that I'd 'lived' alot if you know what I mean. I spent a year living, working and travelling on the other side of the world after highschool... and then spent 3 years getting a teaching degree. I met DH in the first year of studying and we married when I was in the third year. It's also different I think cos he's a bit older than me (7 yrs) he was ready at the same time to have kids. I know alot of guys who just aren't ready at the same age that their partners/wives are just cos that's often the way it is. Also cos we both travelled (before we met) so feel that we've had lots of life experiences. I got preggie in my first year of teaching (planned) just cos it felt so "right" to both of us to try, and we knew it would work out somehow. I say, if you've really talked about it and you're actually really both ready - don't worry about what other people say. Do what you feel is right. You are a married couple, that is a huge commitment to each other. If you both feel ready and feel that it's the right time, then do it. If you or DH don't quite feel ready, I recommend waiting a little while. To me it's the most natural thing in the world to be a mum. It just feels so normal, and it kinda always did, right from when we started trying. We owned and ran a cafe before I was preggie, and we now own 2 houses. We don't earn loads but we make it work. Just cos you're young doesn't mean you can't get ahead in life and make decisions about how you want to live and what you want your family to be. Don't let anyone look down on you because you're young, cos everyone matures at different ages. But if you or DH don't totally feel ready, it would probably pay to talk about waiting a while longer ------------- Mama to DS1 (5 years), DS2 (3 years) and... http://alterna-tickers.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Gardengirl
Date Posted: 10 January 2009 at 11:11pm
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It's something only you can know, whether the time is right to start a family. At 21 I couldn't imagine doing something like that, but I'm 37 and expecting my first, and I suspect you you can't imagine doing something like that I don't think that you are too young or I am too old, just that we felt 'ready' at different points in our lives.
If you and your husband feel ready, and if you can honestly look at your circumstances, identifying any possible issues and their solutions, and if you both feel you want to do this, then go for it. If you feel it would be better to wait, then wait a while (and a while doesn't have to be years). |
Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 11 January 2009 at 8:02am
Do it!!! He hr 
I'm 22, have been married 2 years, have a 6 week old, and have just brought a house to stick on family land. No regrets. I have the best life ever. Family is so important to me and I'm stoked I started young. I feel for my mum though, Grandmother at 40, and she has her own 5yr old lol -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 11 January 2009 at 10:46am
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You do what YOU and your husband feel is right. Dont let anyone tell you what you should and shouldnt be doing OMG! My best friend got preg at 15, son at 16, manages the place she works at now (is 29) owns her own home etc etc etc, so babies arent the be all and end all to be honest. Another friend of mine is 22 and had her first one (single mum) and is doing just as well. She's on the bones of her arse, but that baby never goes without. But yea. Do what YOU WANT!!!!! Its you thats going to love and nurture that child - the fact that you're even on here asking about it is a step towards doing it anyway :D :D :D Good luck!
------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: DJ
Date Posted: 11 January 2009 at 2:06pm
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Obviously everyone is different, but personally, I am absolutely amazed at anyone in their early 20's who wants to start a family!
There seem to be quite a few people in your position though - it is interesting - when I was your age, no-one I knew even thought about kids at that age - we all went to uni, did our OE, came home, bought houses, had good careers and then had kids (I'm 33). Seriously, there is plenty of time (even given your endo) to have a family - take your savings and get your ass on a plane and see the world ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 11 January 2009 at 2:39pm
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I think the most important thing is that you are in a stable relationship and it sounds like you are so who cares what anyone thinks do whats best for you guys. The grandparents will get over it as soon as they see the baby.
I'm 22 with a nearly 3 year old and an 18 month old, I'm about to start a degree and so who knows where I'll be at 30 I might have my own house by then and I can travel at 40. Young or old whenever you have kids you will make it work
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Posted By: ALittleLoopy
Date Posted: 13 January 2009 at 8:25am
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Thanks for all your support guys. I know my hubby is really ready but then again he always has been lol right from the moment we met at 17!
hes a wonder with kids i know hell be an awesome father, he has a natural talent with them and now hes decided to be a primary school teacher which im so excited for him about! Though I still have my doubts as i originally wantwed our own home and for him to at least have finished studying and be working full time somewhere before having kids because then id feel we had a really stable enviroment around them. But looking at the reality at the moment is that hes just starting his study and itll take another 4 years, more if he doesnt pass straight up or changes direction again. The worst thing is we are going to have to cut our savings amount in half as I lost my job due to bad health problems (which are being looked into FINALLY) but i am unable to work and i dont know for how long...so now we are only living on a part time wage as he gets no student allowance. I dont think well be able to think about kids realistically for a while now, but then as i said im not sure that im completely ready anyway, so i think we are going to have to wait another year and see where life takes us....bring on 2010 :P |
Posted By: sweetpea
Date Posted: 13 January 2009 at 11:13am
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Right time for my 2 cents . Personally i don't think we would have coped in the bieginning at least anyway with a bub at that age we were both still at uni. Now however is a different story its something i have we have been thinking about alot over the last few years and plan on strat trying later this year after our 1st anniversary.
The key things here i think need to be that you are both ready both emotionally and physically to have a child, that you have the money there for it, have the support from family and friends. Are ready for life to go in a different direction than it is now. Remember though make the child part of your life not your life. |