Am I Strange?
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=2362
Printed Date: 10 September 2025 at 11:11pm
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Am I Strange?
Posted By: EthansMummy
Subject: Am I Strange?
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 8:04am
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I was thinking about it last night and decided i am not really enjoying pregnancy but for silly reasons.
1. I am scared of waking up one night and finding baby dead because of Cot Death. 2. I am scared i won't be able to be a mum. 3. I am scared of having a still birth or a late miscarriage. I am just scared of things that are like 1/30000 (not quite statistical) chance of happening. Is anyone else like this or how can i overcome this. The funny thing is i am not scared of child birth, which use to scare the s***t out of me  ------------- ** MUM TO ** Ethan 29/08/2006 Brooke 22/09/2008 |
Replies:
Posted By: EthansMummy
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 8:22am
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I am excited when things happen like baby kicks and stuff like that but i need to learn to get over about the other things i worry about. ------------- ** MUM TO ** Ethan 29/08/2006 Brooke 22/09/2008 |
Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 8:29am
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No you are not strange at all. Very normal I believe! I was like that with my first and it was not much fun! When she came out I was checking her all over. My ex husband thought I was nuts!!
To put your mind at rest. I read in an article the other day in an Old Treasures mag that 97% of all born babies in NZ were born perfectly healthy. As much as I know its hard not to worry about these things, try not to!!!  -------------  
 
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Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 8:31am
DONT YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT 3% either!!!!
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 8:31am
| oh, I was like that too. taine now sleeps through the night occasionally, and I put my finger under his nose to make sure he's breathing. If I can't tell, I shake him around a little to be sure. |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 8:34am
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You are normal! I've gone through all that each time... your logical brain will work out that all your fears are completely unlikely, and that you will be fine!
Unfortunately, it is something that you will need to figure out yourself, but knowing that you're not the only one always helps. One day, something will click, and you will go "Oh, that's silly!" and you won't worry about that particular thing anymore. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 8:34am
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yeap i was/am the same, when Rhiannon hasnt woken at the 3 hour mark at night i go and check on her, and also put my finger under her nose to make sure she is still breathing.
I think every first time mum has theses fears, but if you are finding it overwhelming talk to your midwife about them as she should be able to help allivate some of your concerns. sending big hugs your way  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 8:47am
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I’m scared of cot death
Not being a good mum Not bonding Breaking her somehow Doing a “Britney spears” and doing such stupid things that other mums look at me with a mix or pity and contempt for the rest of my life Raising a daughter who goes totally off the rails in later life and hates me forever SO yeah you are completely normal! I’m not sure if anyone has read Paul Riser’s book titled “Babyhood” but it is truly funny! He has a fully comprehensive list of things he worries will go wrong…from holding the baby like a football for so long he accidently passes him to folding baby in the stroller and not discovering this until the next walk! ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Two Blondinis
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 9:05am
I'm 28 and have STILL never changed a nappy! I'm worried that I'm gonna get handed this little person and I won't know what to do with it (feeding, changing, dressing etc). I've been reading the books and taking in the advice which makes me feel like I'm studying for this test, and the consequences of "failing" the test sends shivers up my spine!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 
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Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 9:23am
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Ha ha Your funny Toni!!
I am sure it will come naturally. I think it does for most people? You will be fine! I was one of the lucky ones who had Foster babies from when I was little - lots of them in our family from the day dot. Plus a sister who is 8 years younger so I mothered her like HEN. Then I went and was a Nanny. So I am very comfortable with anything generally. EXCEPT SICK. I dont mind baby sick but when they turn to Adult sick ..OMG its awful. I have to run away.I cant even stand my own sick!!! Paige has only been sick twice in her whole life so far. The first time Mum was with me so she sorted it out. The second time Mark was here and he cleaned it up!!! PATHETIC aye!! Sorry if TMI!! My friend as a little boy who is 18months old now. He is adorable. She cracks me up tho. She loves him to bits but whenever she changes his nappy shes making funny faces and going "eww yuck" STILL. He runs around with his dirty fingers and climbs up to her and she holds him at a distance!!! There is a lot of humour in it and we both laugh. I dont think she realised exactly what she was in for!!! -------------
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 9:52am
Ohhhhh yeah I'm worried about nappy changing and baby throwing up (I do not deal well with that sort of stuff! I'm a chain barfer!)  ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Guests
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 10:00am
| I was worried about cot death etc but we had the CPR lady at antenatal class last night and learnt bits and bobs on how to avoid it and i feel a little better now. |
Posted By: kellverona
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 10:18am
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At the moment Im not really worried about anything. Apparently it all come to you naturally when baby is born and we are going to get a baby monitor so we can be a bit more less worried about cot death, etc. With the support of your mum Linelle and otehrs you whould be fine.
------------- http://pregnancyplanet.net/tickers/"> 
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Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 10:38am
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I am worried about that sort of stuff too - on my list is:
still birth birth defects (esp blindness for some reason I dont know why?) cot death LATE MISSCARRIAGE is a big one ohh one of my worst fears is going for a scan and finding out that baby has passed away inside there - aweful i know but i think about it all the time) I worry about me and hubby fighting over ways to raise thsi kid (we already differ over smacking, i am against it - he thinks its fine) I worry about not spending enough time with baby not bonding, somehow doing something that makes it turn out to be a psychpath, not spending enough time with hubby, ot spending anough time with myself on my own I worry about money, weight, our sex life, and how we will cope if god forbid anythign happens to our kid... But it is all normal, or so I am told - it just means you care, and most of the time when I start to worry I just say to myself taht teh future will not change because I had a sleepless ngiht, what will be will be, and if it is bad then it will make a stronger person/couple of us, if it is good it will enrich our lives...well tahts what I tell myself anyway ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 10:51am
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OK, so I must be the serial worrier here - I worry about EVERYTHING! (I do have an anxiety disorder which doesn't help!).
With Maya I worried right up until she was born that I would lose her, I used to think that if I could just get her out then I could protect her. I would look at her cot and stuff and think "how would I cope if I had to come home without my baby and see the cot just sitting there". Then I worried about cot death, meningitis, being a bad mother etc. I used to sit in my classroom at uni looking over at her daycare (on campus) and imagine seeing an ambulance coming to take her away coz she'd died at daycare. I am such a nutter. She's three and I still worry about her all te time. With the twins the big worries are late miscarriage, that they will be born too early or that they will get TTTS (twin to twin transfusion). -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: mum2emj
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 11:34am
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all normal linelle!!!!! funny thing i remember... while preg with my second baby, i was having a blood test the week i went over due, and i HATE needles, i was soooo scared and the lady who did it said "gee how you going to handle labour and the birth if you cant handle a blood test, but to me the needles are the worst part!lol, no problems with the labour or birth, but i was thinking maybe its because i have more control?? like im not the one controling the needle or something?? i dont know, but i am the worlds BIGGEST wuss, and to tell you the truth i wasnt ever scared about birth etc... and i took it all in my stride while going through it! sweet as!
but i am a constant worrier about cot death and things too, i hardly slept for weeks (my own fault) checking on my girls!!! mind you my mother found me in my cot not breathing several times as a baby and managed to revive me, so i guess its quite a real thing for me, seen as i stoped breathing. |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 11:57am
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The things I worry about are a fair bit down the track yet, Paws has already mentioned it when she said "Raising a daughter who goes totally off the rails in later life and hates me forever."
Other than that, am looking forward to it, although I know I will be having plenty of "tear your hair out" moments !! ------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 12:48pm
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I still check the boys at night heaps and do the same as Liz - have to make sure i can hear them breathing and if not have to do the tickle test i tickle their hands to see if they move. I had a TTTS scare Emma. The docs thought I might have had it as the boys had such a big difference in their weights and they were pretty quick to refer me to wellington to the specialist. Anyway in the end it wasnt so that was good news.
But i think its totally normal to freak when having a bub esp your first or if you have had probs with prev pregs. ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 1:39pm
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My biggest fear at the moment is that I will have trouble bonding with Baby after the birth. I struggle to remember I am even pregnant some days (probably due to the depression), so I am hanging out for my scan in 3 weeks time, in the hope that it makes it all more "real" for me. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 1:56pm
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Are you strange? Yes..
Are you normal? Hell YES.... As you can see we all have fears and most have a common theme... i lie in bed in the morning and if it is later than normal for toby to be awake i dont want to go in, just in case, so then i lie there straining my ears for any noises. My husband admitted to me the other day that even now he worries that gabriel will not be in his bed in the morning so he wont look in, just in case. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 2:10pm
i worry all the time about this bubs! we had our first scan on wednesday and i was so afraid they were going to tell me there was no heartbeat! 
i don't remember being this bad with jack, i'm sure i must've been as i was pretty bad when he was born...to this day i always check him during the night to see if he's still in there and breathing. i also worry that i'm not going to be able to look after 2 kids and that jack is developing slower than other kids. i worry i'm not teaching him enough stuff at home. urghhh!! ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 3:08pm
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hehehehe I must admit I breathed a big sigh of relief to see bubs moving around and the heartbeat and all that!
I always feel really bad because despite my best intentions I really suck at remembering to take vitamins and folic etc! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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