Impact of bubs on our other Littlies!!
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=2376
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Topic: Impact of bubs on our other Littlies!!
Posted By: Kelpa
Subject: Impact of bubs on our other Littlies!!
Date Posted: 05 May 2006 at 4:46pm
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I have started to worry (yes that word) about how this baby is going to affect my nearly 7 year old Paige.
She is very excited and cant wait to meet him and kisses and pats my tummy and tells everyone Im pregnant ...which is cool.And she is a loving caring little girl who I adore. But I get concerned she is going to get left out and start to feel yucky when I am looking after and feeding and spending all this time with a new baby. After all she has had me from the day dot til 7 years later all to herself!! Mark my partner is not Paiges Dad but has been in her life since she was about 2 and a half and they both adore each other (generally)...But this is his first baby and its a little boy and he is very excited. Im all in a muddle about it and would like to hear some other views opinions on this?? -------------  
 
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Replies:
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 06 May 2006 at 9:21am
i am in no way an expert on this but i'm sure paige will be fine when bubs arrives. she will most likely want to 'help' you to do everything for bubs and it could be a blessing that she is old enough to do so 
hope that makes sense, i've had a long night and early morning!  ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 06 May 2006 at 3:06pm
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Oh No! You poor thing!
Has we Jack been keeping you up Mum? Yea I hope that ends up how it all works out. And yes the fact that she is old enough to do certain things will be great too! I think I am more worried for her ...in case she feels a bit left out or something!! maybe I am worried about nothing! -------------
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Posted By: robyn
Date Posted: 06 May 2006 at 4:16pm
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I have this worry too, I presume most people do when the second child is on its way. i feel majorly guilty that I wont be able to give Kobe all my time but then I have to remind myself that most people have more than one child so it must work out somehow. Not much help sorry but Im sure things will work out and your not alone ------------- KOBE born 19 March 2004 http://www.TickerFactory.com/"> 
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Posted By: Alan & Bubbles Mummy
Date Posted: 06 May 2006 at 7:40pm
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I am feeling the same except Alan is not going to be old enough to understand what is really going on I think she will be fine maybe try to involves her with day to day stuff with bub like give her special job's like helping you bath that way she will feel more included maybe also get Dad to take baby so you can give her Mummy time every evening before bed or something, but as everyone said she sounds like a lovely wee girl who will be just fine. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
[url=http://lilypie.com]  [/url
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Posted By: lenabeanz
Date Posted: 06 May 2006 at 8:39pm
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I second what Debs said, also maybe in the weekend (just for arguments sake) from 2pm - 3:30pm is time for you and Paige. And then get her to help out like pass you nappies and wipes, bibs etc etc when you are all together.
All i can think of is include her and ask her what she wants to do ... Really Im no help!! ------------- http://www.snugglepie.com"> 
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Posted By: mum2paris
Date Posted: 06 May 2006 at 10:00pm
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definately back up what everyone else has said - include her in deciding what to dress baby in - maybe have 1 day a week where she can decide (with a little help from you..) get her to help you get things ready, talk to him in the bath, sing to him if she likes that sort of thing (certainly helps soothe Ayja if shes screaming after a bath when Paris sings to her)
Be sure like others have said to set aside some special time just for you two - with no interuptions (will give dad and baby time to bond as well by themselves) also ensure that your partner and your daughter can still have some time too - especially important as she is not his child and may feel a little pushed aside as he unwittingly is very excited about his new wee boy. simple things also like letting her introduce the new baby to everyone when they visit, and help her choose a gift to give baby when it arrives - and get her a gift that the new baby will give her when they first meet. sometimes matching things can help the bond as well - maybe matching teddies or something like that? ------------- Janine and her 2 cool chicks, Paris & Ayja 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 07 May 2006 at 8:35am
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I guess just make sure you include her in the proceedgings...if you are going to do a birth notice in the paper, maybe say something like
"paige would like to announce the birth of her new little brother/sister...oh, and mum and dad are thrilled too", something like that. a book I read also said to constantly say things like "our baby", rather than "the baby". Our eldest Jake is only 15 months older than his brother, so he doesn't really understand jealously, but he's been really good, and just adores his borher. He always greets him "hewwooo!" and klisses his head. He uses the same higher pitch too that wer use when we talk to babies, it's so cute. I really wanted Lewis to bring Jake up to the hospital and for us to have some "family time" all together before introducting the rest of the family - but my dad ended up bringing him up instead (which I was annoyed about) |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 07 May 2006 at 9:43am
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Our babies have already had a major impact on poor Maya because I have been so sick and yucky. She's really exited about them atm, but I do worry about how she'll go once they are here, and also leaving her while I am in hospital as I have never been away from her for more than one night.
My sister found these really cool twin dolls in Target in Oz tho, so we are going to give her some of those when I have teh babies so she can feed, change etc. at the same time as I do. -------------  Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 07 May 2006 at 10:12am
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My husband, Nathaniel, is not Kiya's father, although we became friends when she was 6 months old, and we got married when she was 2.5yrs old.
When we found out Josiah was on the way (Kiya turned 4 just over a month before he was born), we all talked about how our whole family was getting bigger, and how Kiya was going to be a big sister... how she'd be my "big-helper-girl"... how babies are so little they can't do anything for themselves so their mummy and daddy has to do everything until the baby gets bigger like her and can do stuff themselves... how wonderful it was that she is a big girl and can do things like dress herself and feed herself and how she'll be able to teach the baby to do those things when the baby is a bit bigger... We also started "Daddy/Daughter Dates" where Nat would take Kiya out for an hour or so (to the park, or the lake or somewhere like that, or window shopping at the Warehouse, or for an icecream at McDonalds) that was their special time. When Josiah is asleep in the afternoon, then Kiya and I would have our special time, where we would read books, or do puzzles, or work through some activites in a book. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: lenabeanz
Date Posted: 07 May 2006 at 10:57am
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Also expanding on what Janine said, before you go to the hospital but something for Paige from "the baby". A friend of mine got a big brother photoframe (her oldest was a boy!) so something along those lines maybe? ------------- http://www.snugglepie.com">
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Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 07 May 2006 at 12:24pm
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when i went to to doc before we starting trying for a baby, we talked about the impact on xanthe. She told me that it is important to remember that to the baby, anyone can hold it. but to your oldest, only mum or dad will do. so perhaps that is something to think about? ------------- Lyla - mum to Xanthe - my big 4 year old 
and Jordis - 1 year old 
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Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 07 May 2006 at 8:00pm
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You guys are great and very very helpful!
This has been awesome reading and you have given me some cool ideas to work on! Thank you  -------------
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