Discipline or Distraction?
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23833
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Topic: Discipline or Distraction?
Posted By: MissCandice
Subject: Discipline or Distraction?
Date Posted: 18 January 2009 at 10:13am
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Miss Kylah has been throwing the mother of all tantrums lately and im not sure what to do about them. What i do know is i do not want them to continue.
It all happens when you say no, or move her away from something she shouldnt be touching/doing. She actually screams really really loud, then starts crying, lying on the floor yelling and screaming, crying some more and just being all round angry! What should i do, atm i just ignore it, not look at it and wait for her to calm down, then get down to her level and explain that we dont scream and yell like that and that there is no need for that behaviour. But then shes still young maybe im doing it wrong? What would you do? ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Replies:
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 18 January 2009 at 10:53am
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Hmmmm thats a conundrum (sp)
She is still so young .. so I personally wouldnt discipline but would distract. Issy thinks "no" is some kind of funny game, because it is usally followed by either myself or DH going over and removing her from the situation or giving her something else to amuse her 
But I couldnt imagine trying to get her to sit on the "naughty spot" just yet  ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 18 January 2009 at 10:57am
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my neice has been put in time about since about that age. they dont understand at first but if you are consistant they pick up on it real quick. it means they dont get rewarded for naughty behaviour ie, getting new toys for being naughty or getting your attention when you are needing to do something else ie cook tea. she may be a bit young but it does work really well for miss T. ------------- 
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 18 January 2009 at 10:57am
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We dont use a naughty spot i just take her away from what it is she shouldnt be doing while she is full on kicking and screaming like a 'big kid tantrum' and put her down and walk away, if i dont she will hit, scratch and yell and scream, i swear sometimes she is posessed (sp)!
Lol.. Ok, im going to try disctraction this week and see how it pans out i think.. ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 18 January 2009 at 10:59am
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monikah - thats what i was thinking about the distraction as well, it would almost seem to her that she is being rewarded for the naughty behaviour by me distracting her with toys and stuff.
But when she was younger and she used to get herself worked out when crying she would choke and vomit, we used to go out on the balcony and look around and talk, that usually distracted her, so im thinking something along those lines maybe ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 18 January 2009 at 11:17am
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That's basically what we do, over time we don't really get tantys so much anymore except if we are out at a playground and it's time to leave.
Whatever you do just be consistant and she will eventually get the message |
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 18 January 2009 at 12:12pm
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I do the go outside thing too .. they soon forget why they were grumpy in the first place. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 18 January 2009 at 2:05pm
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Kandice we haven't really got into full tantrum mode here yet but I think I would probably do what you're doing now TBH. All the stuff I've read says ignoring it until they calm down is the way to go. -------------  
 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 18 January 2009 at 3:24pm
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I think what you are doing is the right track Kandice, personally everytime I have seen the "distraction " method work , it lasts for 5 minutes anyway.
What you are teaching her now is that , 1) you wont watch her tantrum, which takes the point out of it anyway , and 2) that you are the boss and you make the rules in your house. My friend, her daughter is the boss of her house. Believe me, she would be the first to say you don't want that . ------------- 
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 18 January 2009 at 5:52pm
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I definatley dont want that and i really want her to understand that they are not ok. Cool, well i will just keep ignoring them. I just have to get DF to do the same, he likes to gie her cuddles and stuff in the 'ignore' period. ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 18 January 2009 at 6:32pm
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It is hard to get DH to 'follow the rules' isn't it!
I generally try and distract Jack if he is doing something he shouldn't and telling him the leave it alone doesn't work. We don't tend to get tantrums. Once a tantrum started though I would do as you are and ignore it. In your situation I would probably only use distraction to avoid a tantrum not once it has started ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: Candkids
Date Posted: 18 January 2009 at 6:47pm
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jett does the tantrum thing too if somethings taken away from him (usually by the big sister) if i try to pick him up to move him away from something he gos all floopy so i cant pick him up properly and then starts screaming and kicking
i usually move him to a safe place and put him down and walk away, and dh does the same thing and sarah knows to stay away from him too, soon enough he realises theres other things going on and stops but . . . now whenever sarahs in her naughty spot jett gos and sits down next to her like its a game ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">  DD 10.5yrs DS 6yrs DS 11mths 5 little angles watching from above |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 18 January 2009 at 10:14pm
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At that age I would remove them from the room so that the attention factor is lost. I put that age into the hallway or their bedroom without shutting the door and they can come back when they have settled down. Sometimes I'll repeat that but my girls quickly got the idea that tantruming wasn't much fun. -------------  |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 18 January 2009 at 10:26pm
ahh, sometimes you need to put DH/DF/DP in time out too ....and ignore them -------------
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Linzy wrote:Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 19 January 2009 at 8:39am
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I would be more inclined to redirect/distract rather than use solitary confinment (time out/naughty spot) I would only use it as a last resort & rather give positive guidance through praise & encouragement to reinforce desired behaviors.
I would show empathy toward them & help them to regonise & express their emotions in appropriate ways & support them in finding a solution ------------- Mummy of Two Boys B: 2004 K: 2007 |
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 19 January 2009 at 1:24pm
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We have used baby time out since Jack was about 9 months old and it works OK. We just pick him up, turn him away from people or take him out of the room, don't talk or anything for 30 seconds depending on how old they are (30 seconds per year of age I think it is). Jack knows now what it is! Sometimes no amount of positive stuff beforehand can stop a tantrum so you do have to be prepared.
I think the distraction thing is fine, but will you always have something you can distract her with? I think at least with the time out thing, you can do it almost anywhere. |