When to tell
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=23890
Printed Date: 04 November 2025 at 3:12am
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Topic: When to tell
Posted By: popstress
Subject: When to tell
Date Posted: 20 January 2009 at 4:01pm
| When did you tell people you were pregnant? I am 5 weeks at the moment and can't decide how long to wait - I am thinking around 8 weeks but father to be wants to wait 12. |
Replies:
Posted By: Stogglebox
Date Posted: 20 January 2009 at 4:04pm
We told our parents and close family (brothers and sisters) at 6 weeks then told other people at around 10 weeks - but it was hard keeping it a secret! People at work kind of worked it out anyway cos I was looking a bit ------------- Mother of Natsumi Sarah born on 23 January 2009 |
Posted By: whitewave
Date Posted: 20 January 2009 at 4:25pm
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I couldn't keep it a complete secret when I found it, I told my parents and brother and sister at about 6 weeks, so then DH had to tell his parents! Swore my parents to secrecy though, so extended family didn't find out til about 10 weeks.
I had a "pregnancy shout" at work at about 13 weeks to announce it to workmates, which worked well - saved telling people multiple times, then word got around to those not there at the time. |
Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 20 January 2009 at 4:26pm
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Personally I don't see the need to not tell people. My theory is, if something happens and you lose the baby surely you want people to understand why you are so sad. And people close to you would perhaps feel left out if they didn't know?
Just my opinion 
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Posted By: lizzzzie
Date Posted: 20 January 2009 at 4:37pm
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It's a personal choice but we told close friends and family pretty much straight away, and the rest after our first scan at 12 weeks. To us it was important to think about who we would want to tell if the worst happened, and thought we'd want the support of close friends and family so told them early. ------------- 
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Posted By: Mum_mum
Date Posted: 20 January 2009 at 4:46pm
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Im a bit undecided about this too. So far we have only told one friend each (and i only told my friend cos she found out on the same day that she was pregnant also)
I think we may wait til the first scan at 7weeks, i sort of don't want to jinx it IYKWIM. Last time we told family as soon as we found out and DH's dad was so excited he called all his friends. It was hard to have to tell everyone when we lost the baby. I really want to tell my mum and dad as they were massive supports last time but Mum finds it hard to keep a secret and i know she would tell everyone. DH really doesnt want to tell anyone until we find out everything is all good. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
 Angel baby - May 2008
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Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 20 January 2009 at 5:15pm
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DH can't keep a secret so with this pg I got a BFP at 4wks and our families were told that day. I wanted to wait until at least 6wks to tell our workmates but DH told one of his bosses within a few days so we told both workplaces at 5wks. Distant friends that we don't see often were told xmas eve (about 14.5wks) in my Merry Xmas email ------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: LeahandJoel
Date Posted: 20 January 2009 at 5:20pm
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We told my parents at 5 weeks as it was mums birthday and that was a cool prezzie. Then everyone else at about 8 weeks. -------------  
 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 20 January 2009 at 6:33pm
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We told as soon as we had our heads around it. That way work knows what's up if I feel ick and close family and friends know in the event there are any slip-ups or complications. -------------  |
Posted By: kriss
Date Posted: 20 January 2009 at 6:36pm
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We were over the moon and told family and friends at 6 weeks when we found out. Hard to keep such good news a secret ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
Little Angel, April 10
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Posted By: Danaj
Date Posted: 20 January 2009 at 6:38pm
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I told heaps of people and then we had a m/c. It was very upsetting having to explain to everyone what had happened and getting those "I'm so sorry" looks. It was a constant reminder and it would have been nice to have been able to go to work and have some clear head space away from it.
We told our parents about 6 weeks and waited till 12 - 13 weeks to tell everyone else. It doesn't matter if everything goes smoothly, but it really sucks if bubs doesn't stick. ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wyI1oWn/"> 
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Posted By: ClareB
Date Posted: 20 January 2009 at 9:19pm
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we waited until the second trimester to tell anyone which was so hard but I held off as we had lost one before and I was so scared. but it was worth it to finally let the cat out of the bag and relax a bit. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Danaj
Date Posted: 20 January 2009 at 9:34pm
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I agree with ClareB. Once you're past that first scary stage then you feel so much happier about telling everyone you can find lol. ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wyI1oWn/">
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Posted By: WestiesGirl
Date Posted: 20 January 2009 at 10:50pm
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Its totally a personal choice. My first pregnancy we told all our family and some of our close friends. Then I MCed and had to tell everyone which was extremely hard. Having said that, it was also nice to have their support.
This pregnancy, we've only told family and 2 of my closests friends and everyone else is waiting until the 12 week mark. Although, almost everyone at work knows now as I had issues with bleeding a few weeks ago at work and once one person knows the whole office knows!! ------------- Our Angel July 08 Gone but not forgotten
And to complete our family, our princess has arrived 
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Posted By: jjands
Date Posted: 21 January 2009 at 10:27am
| I wanted to tell people stariaght away. It depends if you mind telling people you've had a miscarriage or not. DH really didn't want to. If you don't mind you can tell straight away. My mw said you r not safe till 16 weeks but I told my bestfriends straight away and everyone else at 13 weeks |
Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 21 January 2009 at 10:39am
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We told DF's parents straight away (so 4w), and told some of our friends after my bloods came back normal. We will tell my parents after my scan in 2 weeks.
We told everyone straight away so that if necessary, the support is there if we need it. After 3 m/c, I would rather have them know and understand why I may be feeling somewhat unsociable or whatever, and be there for support if necessary. |
Posted By: popstress
Date Posted: 21 January 2009 at 12:31pm
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Thank you everyone for your replies. It has helped me decide to wait for 12 weeks - We have told our parents though.
Thanks again. |