what to do
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Topic: what to do
Posted By: james
Subject: what to do
Date Posted: 22 January 2009 at 6:10am
what to do i have been asked by family to take hemi (my newphew) on full time till my sister can get her self in a better postion. Now here is my delimmea i am applying to Teachers collage this year and thats stressfull anuff to get one child in to care but two now i could do this year part time but i,m sick of putting my dreams on hold for outher people what do i do aggrrhhhhhhhh ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Replies:
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 22 January 2009 at 7:30am
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thats a tough one, but in the end you have to do what is right for you and your family. Is there no one else in the family who can take Hemi?
I think you have to weigh up all the pros and cons of taking Hemi and not taking Hemi and go from there. best of luck with whatever decision you make and remember whatever decision it is, is the right one for you ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Oxy
Date Posted: 22 January 2009 at 7:48am
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Hi there
This is what i think you should do put your plans first because if you dont you may never get this chance again as with your nephew im sorry to say this but your sister had the child so she should look after him regard less of the situation ------------- http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/250ed1" rel="nofollow">  TTC#1 Jan 2009 |
Posted By: hailstones
Date Posted: 22 January 2009 at 7:49am
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That seems like alot of pressure to be put under Lu!
I think after years of putting your needs and wants after others maybe its time to put them 1st. I know how much you love Hemi, but you need to do what is right for you! Can your Mum and Dad help share the load, so Hemi is not all YOUR responsibility. If they can then maybe its all do-able. Big hugs Lu and good luck with your decision, which I know won't be any easy one for you. ETA: just an after thought, you say they want you to take on hemi so your sis can get herself into a better position, but isn't that what you are doing as well, by going to T-Col.......maybe its time to put yourself 1st!!!! p.s we have to catch up soon!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 22 January 2009 at 8:08am
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Thats a huge ask from your family. What about your needs and dreams?
If you want Hemi in your care, and the only thing in the way is the care situation, then perhaps you could ask your family to help you in that respect. They should come to the party. Can your sister not take care of her child during the day (Sorry I have no idea what the situation) and you have him between times? Good luck with your decision, sounds like its going to be a difficult one to make  ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 22 January 2009 at 8:36am
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I think you have to put yourself first. It sounds like you really love your nephew but if you put your own plans on hold for him and your family then you may end up resenting both him and them - better to say no and get any unpleasantness over with. If you say yes then who knows how long you could have him for... ------------- 
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: EmDee
Date Posted: 22 January 2009 at 9:16am
Wow that is a big ask from your family. Are your family able to help out while you are studying? I really don't think you should put your dreams on hold again, you need to do what is best for yourself and James. Best of luck hun, whatever your decision  ------------- DS 8 DD 6 DS 4 DD 2 |
Posted By: Danaj
Date Posted: 22 January 2009 at 9:29am
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Seems like a big ask to me. Why can't she take care of him herself? Other people seem to manage it and still sort their lives out, why can't she? ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wyI1oWn/"> 
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Posted By: McPloppy
Date Posted: 22 January 2009 at 9:29am
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Explaine to your family that you are saying no so that you can get yourself and your family on track but are more than happy to help the person who takes him on eg weekend stay overs, free babysitting and school holiday visits.
------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: monikah
Date Posted: 22 January 2009 at 11:52am
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similar situation for me a while ago as im decided to go back to uni this year but i used to look after my sisters kids so she could go to work cos she wasnt coping well at home and couldnt afford day care. i ended up telling her i needed to do my own thing. she is still a stress case bout putting her babies in other care and having to change her hours but my baby is due in 3 months, uni starts in 1 and i needed to put my family first. dont let yourself get guilted into putting your life on hold again. studying is hard work and someone elses child is always way harder to find time for and look after properly when your stressed. look after your family first. its not your fault your sister cant do it herself. i think if forced too, she'd find a way, everyone else does ------------- 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 22 January 2009 at 12:04pm
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putting it really bluntly .
Dont let your life wait for other people . ------------- 
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Posted By: sweetpea
Date Posted: 22 January 2009 at 12:30pm
| Go ahead and do what you were planning on doing this year because to be honest hun life is far too short. |
Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 22 January 2009 at 1:18pm
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Its a tough one (and without knowing all the details of your situation)...is there anyone else in the family that can help? If Teachers College is your dream, and something that you really want to do, then you should be doing it, and your family should respect that and help you in anyway that they can to make it possible. If you are the only carer for Hemi, and there is no-way anyone else can help, then I guess you have to make a call about whether you could wait another year for Teachers College. Its a tough one chickadee - good luck - and hopefully you can get support in making your decision from your family. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 22 January 2009 at 2:18pm
i agree. but i'm in a similar situation so i understand how hard it is, especially when it's your beloved family that you'll do almost anything for ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
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caitlynsmygirl wrote:Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 22 January 2009 at 11:03pm
| How old is he and what sort of life would he have if you dont take him? If you then he would be ok with his mum then sweet carry on with your plans but if you think he is being majorly neglected and you have the chance to step in and make a childs life better possibly even save it then could you forgive yourself if you didnt? |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 23 January 2009 at 12:54pm
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I don't know the situation, but unless your sis is going away to get help or something I don't think taking Hemi away from her is really the best thing. She might realise she loves no responsibilities. As others said I think you should offer to help her out but she still needs to be the main caregiver for Hemi and you need to get on with your life too. If its only a month or so you might be able to juggle it but thats not fair to ask you to take him on. She chose to have him so hes her responsibility.
Does Hemi go to daycare? If shes having issues or is going to study or something she may be entitled to 50 hours childcare subsidy, which makes it almost free depending on the place. |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 23 January 2009 at 6:48pm
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It sounds like you don't think taking him on at the moment would be the right thing for you and your family, and that's what needs to be prioritised. There are other people that can look after him. If no one in the family can, then she can go talk with CYPFS or Open Home Foundation or ACROSS Social Services (or any equivalent in your area) to talk about having a short-term caregiver. -------------  |