Going to sleep at night
Printed From: OHbaby!
Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24011
Printed Date: 11 September 2025 at 2:57am
Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.05 - http://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: Going to sleep at night
Posted By: fire_engine
Subject: Going to sleep at night
Date Posted: 25 January 2009 at 9:01pm
Daniel is now pretty good at going to sleep during the day, but evenings aren't that fun. He tends to cry for 1/2 an hour plus after going to bed, often on and off, but when it's on, it's on - sobbing, tears, chest heaving (all designed to break a mother's heart  ).
Our routine is 5ish - BF and solids dinner Play 6ish - shower 6.30 BF 6.45 FF in room with dad, 2x story books then into bed, dummy, fan on. Any ideas why it's worst in the evenings? Any tips on what to do? We're currently doing a version of controlled crying, going in periodically, never leaving him for more than 5 minutes. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Replies:
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 25 January 2009 at 9:11pm
|
Is he overtired? Too hot? Still hungry? -------------  |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 25 January 2009 at 9:54pm
|
Not too hungry - emphatically refuses his bottle.
We have the fan on him, and his chest temp seems OK (and it's no hotter than it is in the middle of the day). Maybe overtired - during the day, he's not usually up for more than 2 hours, and it's about that at night too. Why can't babies come with an instruction manual? They're weird wee creatures ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: JessDub
Date Posted: 26 January 2009 at 9:09am
|
Sounds like he is overtired OR not quite ready for sleep.
It's a fine line but my son will cry heartedly for both reasons. Some nights we get it right and don't hear a peep - ahhh. It does help to close the door and turn up the telly. Listening to the crying will only wreck your head. Another thing which my plunket nurse told me about is the 'witching hour' - normally between 5 and 7, all babies and wee kids play up. ------------- 
|
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 26 January 2009 at 10:04am
|
One thing I forgot to say is that often when we go in to pick him up, he'll stop crying and start looking round the room, smiling at us (or the curtains ) - so maybe not tired enough??
The emotional part of me is wondering if it's cos he knows it's his long nighttime sleep and is a bit scared/worried about being alone, but I'm probably reading too much into it. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: blondy
Date Posted: 26 January 2009 at 10:28am
|
As you know, Nat is only up for 2 hours during the day, but she has to be up from 3-4pm for her 7pm bedtime, otherwise won't go to sleep. we tried giving her a late afternoon nap for a couple of days (waking up around 5pm), and couldn't get her settled before about 9pm
at least he's self-settling ok during the day, but it's almost more frustrating that you know he CAN go to sleep by himself, but just won't!  -------------  
|
Posted By: xox6Girls1Boyxox
Date Posted: 26 January 2009 at 11:00am
|
Have you tried bathing him instead of showers? And does he have a cot mobile or one of those cot musical things that light up and play music? Maybe he gets bored when he goes down at night....By the sounds of it the curtains amuse him so he might just want something in the cot with him???? ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/"> 
|
Posted By: JessDub
Date Posted: 26 January 2009 at 11:32am
|
Try and extend his bed time a bit and see if that makes a difference?
When DS is overtired, he'll wail and then be out like a light. When DS is in bed too early, he'll wail and then lie in bed staring for an hour. -------------
|
Posted By: busyissy
Date Posted: 26 January 2009 at 6:44pm
| Babies often go through an attachment phase around 6 months, it could be that he has just realised that you have left the room. Be careful or he will quickly have you trained and not the other way round. When our son was this age we started putting his teddy bear in the cot to distract him from the fact we weren't there any longer. Worth a try? |
Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 26 January 2009 at 8:02pm
|
Fliss, I was wondering the same about Jackson. He always plays up for his 7pm (usually 8pm!!) bedtime, no matter how tired he is.
I wondered if he knows he is going down for a big sleep and that is why? No tips, I am afraid, as we're going through the same thing. But I am interested in the replies! Hope you can solve it soon. |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 26 January 2009 at 8:59pm
|
Hmmm, he went down magically tonight. He had a nap till about 6.30, then feed, dinner, play, feed, FF, story ... 2 hours in total. Not a peep out of him after we turned out the light.
Aggghhh, why can't they do it every time?! And there have been a number of nights when I've PMSL at DH crawling out of the room so Daniel doesn't see him leave! ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: weegee
Date Posted: 26 January 2009 at 9:23pm
|
LMAO, great mental image of your gangly DH crawling out the door!!!
No particular advice, except to say JJ is exactly the same - self settles perfectly for every other sleep but we have a battle at bedtime at night. It is getting better, gradually - I used to have to feed him to sleep at night but don't any more. Just need to spend the last half hour or so of his bedtime routine in his room with minimal talking etc. I think there is a magic window of tiredness too, and it always seems easier when we've had a good day routine-wise. Must have been something in the air tonight cos JJ went down easily tonight too! ------------- 
Mum to JJ, 4 July 2008 & Addie, 28 July 2010 |
Posted By: scribe
Date Posted: 26 January 2009 at 9:45pm
|
The image of Daniel looking around and smiling, when you pick him up, suggests to me that he's not tired enough. (Clara used to be exactly like that until we stopped putting her down for an afternoon nap.)
If you picked him up and he was grizzly with a fixed gaze and other tired signs, I'd think it was overtiredness instead. Once we ditched the afternoon sleep - she's now awake from 2pm at the latest, till 7pm - we've found it much easier to get her to sleep (unless we've had a really busy day and sometimes she's overtired/overstimulated - yep it is a fine line sometimes!). |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 26 January 2009 at 10:08pm
|
lol at your DH crawling out the room hehe, classic!
My guess would be that he isnt tired enough and maybe he needs to be up till about 7.30 then down for the night? Sometimes it just takes half an hour or so more of being up to tucker them out. With Caden we dont really have a routine per se(apart from his shower with mummy and then bottle before bed and his music on etc), we go with how he is that night because if he has woken from his last nap at say 4pm there is no way he is going to want to go to sleep at 6.30, he will cry and fuss if i try to put him to bed, but if he woke from his last nap at about 2 or 3 then he will want to go to bed by 6.30 or 7 and will fall asleep quite happily. Usually he is down for the night by 8 at the latest, sometimes its later than that if he wont settle, and in that case we get him up for a play and that will tire him out and we put him in his cot, give him his cuddle toy thats for bedtime only turn his music on say goodnight and leave the room. I also find that if he is overtired he will grizzle and cry for quite a while and just wont settle for ages, so I will either get him up and sometimes give him a little top of formula he then has a little play and thats enough to tire him out to the point where is is nearly asleep on the floor, or I will cradle him and hum and sing to him in his room with the night light on to settle him and that usually makes him all sleepy and relaxed. Edited due to my crappy spelling! Time for bed me thinks! ------------- |
Posted By: hannibal
Date Posted: 26 January 2009 at 10:37pm
|
Hi
Try this great site www.thesleepstore.co.nz - it has some great tips. Bubs isn't the best sleeper during the day and I have applied some of the tips and she is a bit better - lucky for us she is a better night sleeper! |
Posted By: SarahP08
Date Posted: 27 January 2009 at 10:04am
|
I was having a huge problem too, Kailash would take over an hour to settle down to sleep at night. I used to pat him to sleep so he never really learnt how to go to sleep by himself. He'd also immediately stop crying and be all happy and awake as soon as I picked him up.
He's had a strict bedtime routine for ages but what I found worked for him (and it was so quick it was like a miracle) was giving him a blankie. I just got a square of muslin and wore it in my bra for a few days and then gave it to him at sleep times and now he goes to sleep all by himself. I just pop him in the cot, kiss goodnight make sure he has his dummy and blankie and then leave him to it. This is his routine: 3.30pm (ish) up from last nap 6pm FF and solids then bath then cuddles and story in bed by 7.15 10pm dreamfeed since giving him a blankie he has also slept through the night 3 times (previously I was up 7-8 times a night to settle him) I'd suggest maybe not tired enough, or needs comforting? ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
|
Posted By: first
Date Posted: 27 January 2009 at 10:07am
|
I have the same problem. Great sleeper through the day but come night time. WOW whole new baby. My DS will go to sleep really well then wake an hour later and want cuddles and feeding again. Sometimes he will do this hour sleep and awake again thing two or three time so I am no help to you whatsoever but just wanted to say yip I"m in that boat too. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/"> 
|
Posted By: tropics
Date Posted: 27 January 2009 at 4:15pm
|
we have the same problem - whats with these babies? Jaydens good during the day and at night (Generally when DH isnt home!) can take ages to get to sleep lots of crying going in settling / putting dummy in etc - so no answers here im afraid! ------------- http://lilypie.com">    [/url]
|
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 27 January 2009 at 4:37pm
|
It's reassuring to know that there are others out there going through the same thing! ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 02 February 2009 at 8:57pm
|
Any progress Fliss?
Jackson gets so distressed when we put him down now at night. It's only this sleep that does it. Have tried cutting out his late nap, tried different soothing techniques... he just gets really upset and thrashes about in his hammock, and it feels as though it is getting worse not better. If things are working better for you, I'd love to know what you're doing! |
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 02 February 2009 at 9:13pm
It fluctuates! He's dropped an afternoon sleep the last few days - having 2 hours in the morning and 45 in the afternoon and he is now much more tired when he goes to bed - rubbing eyes big time and yawning (and looking absolutely adorable!). I wonder if he was not tired enough. I've also realised my milk supply has been seriously dropping, and I think he was hungry (bad mother didn't realise till the weekend, then bad mother got very upset  ).
His day pattern (for the last 2 days )
Up 7-7.30ish - BF and breakfast Down at 9.30. Sleep till nearly 12. 12 - BF/bottle/solids. Play till 2. Try and persuede Daniel to sleep. Give up at 3 and play again. 4ish - down for 45 minutes. 4.45 - BF, solids, play, shower, BF, 250ml FF. Bed about 7.30-8 10 - dreamfeed Tomorrow is his first full day at daycare though, and I anticipate he will be Knackered with a capital K. ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: busyissy
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 1:17pm
| Oh don't say your a bad mother, hind sight is twenty twenty after all! |