I thought it was about time I was honest with myself and see how much I weigh.  I know I'm overweight and HATE it, I've never been this big before and I'm so embarressed to go out in public, but I *hide* the truth about how much I actually weigh by avoiding the scales!  The last time I weighed myself was a few months back, and I've been eating terribly over the holidays. 

So before my shower this morning I hopped on the scales.  I've put on 2 kgs!    I'm feeling soo upset now.  I didn't think I my diet was that bad, I know a lot of people eat worse and are skinny skinny!  Since I've had Jett I've continuely put on weight, it's so depressing, I've gone from a size 16 when pg, to a tight 18.  The thing is, is that my whole body carries the weight, some people only carry it in their lower half, or only in their hips/waist, but for me it's all over.  I can't belive how skinny I used to be before I had kids.  I truely truely just feel so down about it now.  I think too because my 2 older sisters are super skinny now, even after having their children so I feel like the ugly step-sister next to them.

I know I'm going to have to work so hard to get rid of this excess fat.  I just wish I could click my fingers and it would be gone!  I know I can change my diet, but getting back into excerise is going to be tough.

So sorry for the woe is me post, I just am so down now, and I don't want to moan to my family or friends about it, as they wouldn't understand being that they're all size10!  I would be happy to get to a size 12 and be fit, but it's a long road ahead!

Thanks for all your encouraging words!  I have done WW in the past (after a few kgs crept on after getting married) and I know it works, but for me, it's sticking to it.  My DH wants to lose weight as well, so I know that if we both did WW I'd have him for support and he's a stronger-minded person than me and wouldn't give up til he was at his preferred weight.  I need to lose at least 20 kgs to be healthy again.  I was on Jenny Craig when I fell pg with Jett, and that's an easy diet being that majority of the food is prepared for you, you just have to eat it.  But it's soo expensive!  I probably wouldn't do it again either.

I know you can do WW online now, and that would be perfect, as I hated going in for the weigh-in's every week.

For me, when I think about how my life was before marriage and children, I pretty much ate what I wanted, but I was really active.  So since I've become inactive with physical activity, but still eat what I want, my metabolism is non-exsistant.

I'm going to start with small changes, as I know losing weight is a lifestyle change so I need to make changes that I can keep up with and are realistic.  Starting to drink water daily and at least 8 cups of it, and leaving what should be treat food for only one day in the weekend (instead of having a treat food everyday) should help a bit.

Also what I've picked up from when I've been on diets - is that your food is never the same each day.  Like normally my breakfast consists of a coffee and toast - everyday.  I've been making myself smoothies with low-fat milk, banana and yoghurt which is yummy and really keeps me full all morning.  But I need to change how much bread I eat (as bread is high in carbs and a lot of diets don't include bread), and up my fruit intake.  I eat veges for dinner every night, and meat.  I guess my choice in snacks needs a make-over.  No muesli bars, chippies etc.  That's where I can and should be eating fruit instead.

Flissty, when I've been clothes shopping in the last year it makes me even more depressed about how fat I am.  The clothes just don't sit on me properly, and the range is just not my style a lot of the time.  Size 10 clothes just don't look good in size 18.  Because I have broad shoulders and my arms are fat I hate wearing singlets, when that's all I want to be able to wear in this hot weather. 

Arohanui, that's soo upsetting isn't it when someone asks/thinks your pg when you're not.  I haven't been asked if I'm pg recently, but about 4 months after Jett was born a shop assistant asked if I was.  I know my tummy is still big after having Jett and I could easily pass for being 6 months pg!

About Feb last year I joined the gym along with a friend (who was only a sz 8 then), thinking we could go together and she would be my buddy.  But after the first week going together, she just started going on her own and not telling me so I'd end up having to go by myself, and after 3 months I took a break from the membership for 3 months, and didn't really get back into it from then.  I know it's not my friend's fault for me not going, but I was under the pretense that we would be going together and I knew I would always go if that was the case.  This friend doesn't have children so I guess she would just decide to go to the gym and get up in go, whereas I had to work about when DH was home, or have to get a babysitter. 

my2angels i totally understand about the dreading bumping into old friends!

lol arohanui you look fab!

my2angels wrote: Im exactly the same...when my hubby and I started dating I was 45kgs and since kids Ive gone up to a tight sz 18. I used to be the skinny sister and the skinny friend, now Im the fatty and I dread running into people I havent seen for ages because I know they will all be thinking crap she has gained heaps of weight so I just avoid going out if possible.

This is exactly me.  I too hate seeing people that I haven't seen in a long time as I KNOW they'll be thinking how much weight I've put on.  At a family function a few weekends back, we took some photos of me and my siblings and my 2 sisters and brother look fantastic and I just look hidious!!!  There is one I accidentally took (I was trying to show my cousin how to use my camera) and just happened to snap a perfect photo of my 3 siblings and it's a gorgeous one, and then I look at the one of me in it and I ruin the pic!!  My self confidence is next to none right now. 

Thanks Kaiz, you are such a sweetie!  Even if I don't believe that myself, it's nice to hear it.  So how on earth did you lose 30 kgs?  I wanna know your secret!

I love all these ideas you guys are throwing at me.  And you all have the similar idea to me, which is start small.  I've wanted to lose weight in the past, and gone full steam ahead, only to run out of puff after a couple of weeks!  My goal is to lose 5 kgs, and get back into the 80'skg mark (and never let myself get back into over 90 kgs again!!), then once I'm down below 90, get to 85 etc.  I'd love to be 70 kgs or sz 12 by Sept (as that's when it's our 10th wedding anniversary and I want to look great again for that time) .  I'm happy with that, and am not concerned about getting smaller than that.  Sometimes when people get obsessed with losing weight, it gets rediculous and they end up too skinny!

Yeah I definitely felt once I had to start buying sz 18 I was loosing the plot and needed to pull the reins in with my weight.  I have a big tummy still, and it's so hard to buy comfortable clothes that don't excentuate the big tummy!  I hate it with a passion!  I'd never have thought I'd let myself, nor easily get this big, ever.  I find myself looking at skinny people in the shops all the time and soo soo wish I could be skinny like them and wearing those nice clothes!  (and by those "nice" clothes I mean shorts and singlet!!)

But you girls are soo encouraging I know I can do it this time, and slowly but surely get this weight off and look great again!!

You and me both hun. I was going to go back to WW here but decided that I have the books so need to do it myself.

Just before my wedding I took some pills to help lose the fluid that I had hanging on me (the dr worked that out for me) and I lost a good 10kgs in a few weeks. I am looking at either getting them again to start me off or get something like Xnical that I know works as well (it is expensive thou) as I have seen results on it.

I wouldn't mind shedding about 20 odd kgs this year and get down to a size 12 (I am a good 16 at the moment).