Weddings and babies- opinions
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24264
Printed Date: 03 October 2025 at 7:09am
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Topic: Weddings and babies- opinions
Posted By: JoJames
Subject: Weddings and babies- opinions
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 2:58pm
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We have a wedding in 2 weeks, they haven't specified no kids but the invite didn't include DS' name. Is it unrealistic for them to expect that we wouldn't bring our 4 month old baby to the reception? He is exclusively BF and so far has only taken a bottle for DH and myself, he also isn't the easiest baby to settle so not really a big fan of leaving him with my brothers and sister to look after. What are peoples apinions on babies at weddings? ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 3:01pm
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Hmmm I would probably just ask.
Even though it didnt specify no kids, I would have thought if the kids were invited, they would have been listed on the invite. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: catisla
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 3:01pm
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i would have thought it would be okay at the reception - you can always go off and find a quite corner to feed him / soothe him.
I guess it depends on how well you know the couple getting married If i ever get married again (hmm) i would think the more babies the merrier! ------------- |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 3:05pm
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I would ask the couple and explain that he's exclusively breast fed .
My friend is getting married this weekend (im a bridesmaid ) and C is not invited, as much as she loves her its just not that kind of wedding, I don't mind (in fact, im glad) ,shes fine with Tyler coming tho haha I have kids and babies coming to my wedding, I love kids and babies and think they make a special occasion ,even more special (plus it keeps C from getting bored ) ------------- 
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Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 3:12pm
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i'd take your baby, we had 6 babies at our wedding. ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 3:17pm
I would ask - if it's OK they'll still appreciate you thinking about it. They mightn't realise that you're exclusively BF but might be happy for bubs to be there if you explain 
For our wedding if the kids were invited we included them on the invite. We had babies at our ceremony and reception but I've always loved kids so I particularly wanted them there IYKWIM. ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: JoJames
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 3:29pm
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Well i've emailled her to see what she says, hopefully its ok, it would just be annoying to have him stay in Mt Eden with my sister and be in Northcote and have to go to him if they can't cope ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: kebakat
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 3:37pm
| At our wedding we had my cousin with a newish baby and only put him and his gf on the invite but definitely didn't want a bubba there. We wanted adults only. |
Posted By: Joscia
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 3:54pm
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We didn't put 'no kids' on our invites, cos we thought it sounded a bit rude. But we didn't particularly want them there either. However, we got approached by several friends who wanted / needed to bring their children along. It kind of irritated me at the time, since we hadn't put their names on the invites, and a couple of them just assumed it would be fine - but in hindsight I was really glad they all came! The kids made the day so much more special. Those that were really young / breastfeeding were totally fine and all the parents did a great job of taking them outside if they got a bit loud. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 4:18pm
| I would ask. Reason being, we're getting married in just over 4 weeks, we have specified on our information sheet that it's an adults only event (it's not a suitable venue for kids) and we've still had problems with people believing they should be able to bring their babies "because they're family". We're having no children, and there's no exceptions. |
Posted By: mummymegs
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 4:46pm
| We were happy to have babies at our wedding but were against any older children or young teenagers as they would just get bored. Lucky it only effected my cousin who was happy to make other arragements. Also, her children are hard work. In total I think we had 3 or 4 babies there. |
Posted By: caliandjack
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 4:49pm
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Definatley ask, we specified the children by name who we invited to our wedding and they were associated with the bridal party. I was a guest at a wedding where there was a young baby who was tired and upset during the speeches at the reception, it was horrible. ------------- http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow">   [/url] Angel June 2012 |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 5:21pm
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I would ask for sure.
Im getting married in march and dont want any babies except Caden there. We only have a few "kids" and they are my counis and DF's cousins so thats it, no family friends are bringing their kids, apart from the ones that have teenage kids. ------------- |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 5:25pm
no children huh ? I can think of a certain baby whos gonna be there ....safetly tucked up inside the bride mind you !  -------------
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minik8e wrote:Posted By: first
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 5:26pm
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I have gone to 4 weddings and receptions with my boy in the last 3 months and no one even questioned the fact that he'd be coming with me as he was exclusively bf.
I think its when they start walking around and eating the adult food that people don't want them there. GOod luck with the wedding. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/"> 
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Posted By: katie1
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 6:06pm
| We have had four weddings in the twelve weeks we've had Harry. For each of them I asked if it was ok for him to be there. Two of them we had to fly to get there and I couldn't have gone if he wasn't able to be there. I accept that it is people' choice but I think that they also have to accept that if the breast fed newborn baby can't come then possibly neither can the mother. Everyone was fine about having him there and he was no bother I would never have let him cry and distract people and at the first one he was only a week old and just slept in his wee cocoon under the table. Nobody would have known he was there. It is often a really big effort to make it to weddings when you have young children and I think that if they are good friends then they will be understanding of that. |
Posted By: katie1
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 6:07pm
| By the way I think there is a big difference between a wee newborn at a wedding and an older baby - I never would have expected my toddler to be there!!!! |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 6:11pm
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If he is exclusively bf I would say the discretion is yours. If he was nearing 1yo, I'd say check with them before you take him with you. -------------  |
Posted By: Marlow
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 6:18pm
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I would definitely ask. We got married last March and specified no children to the reception. They were all invited to the ceremony but as we got married on a Thursday, they were all in school. If we had invited everyone's children, there would have been 36 of them!
Having said that, we had four lots of guests (two family, two friends) due around the time of our wedding. I contacted them all separately and told them they were welcome to bring their babies. Turns out my cousin couldn't make it (their twins were born a week later) and our friends' son was born on our wedding day. The two babies that did come were absolutely perfect and I'm pleased they and their parents were there. |
Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 6:38pm
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Ask like the others have said. But it comes down to if baby can't be there then you can't either as bub is BF. At our wedding (ceremony) we had a few children there and that was fine. But at the reception the only "child" we had was Andrew. We had a couple of 16 year olds stay as we had paid for an adult but they couldn't make it on the day. TBH I didn't even notice them at all. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: ellen
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 7:07pm
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Common courtesy to ask. I don't think it's unrealistic for them to expect you not to bring your baby, especially if they have no children themselves - quite possibly haven't even thought about the breastfeeding issue for you? If they don't want children at the wedding they would also have to accept that you may not be able to attend, which would be a shame, but at the end of the day it's their day, their choice.
You would hope though that they would realise a 4 month old baby would be pretty unobtrusive and as long as it wasn't making noise through the ceremony and speeches that it wouldn't be a problem. Hope you get to go! Weddings are so much fun. |
Posted By: mummyofprinces
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 7:42pm
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Like everyone else has said, just ask. If bubs cant go, then unfortunately you may have to pass on the wedding.
Personally, I would not expect a mum to leave behind her baby unless she wanted to. My 9 month old neice was at our wedding and we have some gorgeous photos of her in her pretty wedding day dress. That said I did invite everyone's children... I feel weddings should be a family affair, but only my neice came in the end. You may find that they expected you would bring bubs. Good luck. -------------   
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 03 February 2009 at 7:44pm
I agree with this , its just common courtesy to ask . -------------
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Posted By: JoJames
Date Posted: 04 February 2009 at 8:45am
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Well I emailled her and shes fine with him being there so thats good cause he's being such a toad lately. Thanks everyone ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com">
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Posted By: sweetpea
Date Posted: 04 February 2009 at 11:43am
| Just to put my two cents worth in here. Like the other ladies have said i would most definmatley ask especially if the name of kids aren't on the invite. An option to consider is if the respetion is at a hotel there maybe baysitting service avaliable where someone can wsatch bub while you are having a good night you can still go in and feed when required. |
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 04 February 2009 at 12:12pm
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Lucky you! When Rowan was 3 months we had to leave her with my mum to go to a wedding (originally they said we could bring her so we RSVP'd for both me and DH and then they changed their mind).
Luckily it wasn't too bad but I did have to go home between the ceremony and the reception to feed her and then had to leave by 9:30pm as I felt like my boobs would explode. Oh and I was so unimpressed to get there and see a 12 month old running around. So much for no babies. -------------  
 
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Posted By: Chickoin
Date Posted: 04 February 2009 at 1:48pm
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That's so annoying Bobbie! We went to a wedding a few years ago that stated on the invites that kids were not invited. A lady turned up with her daughter (about 8yrs old?) and boy did they get stared at!
Jo, yay that your friend said it is ok :) I will be looking forward to pics in our thread
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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 04 February 2009 at 7:03pm
| Funny you say that...I just had a message from a guest who said they weren't coming. Now she's thinking of coming WITH their son (who will be 15 months old and is NOT breastfed), because apparently as we aren't paying for the babysitters so people can leave their kids at home, we should just put up with it. Oh, and she doesn't mean to be a bi*&h, she's sure other people feel the same. I replied that no, we're not paying for the babysitters, however we are paying for the whole wedding and therefore it's our decision, not hers. And our family's children aren't invited, so no-one else's children are invited or welcome either. This was from the partner of one of DF's friends (who was kind of invited due to history - they're not so close anymore). |
Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 04 February 2009 at 7:18pm
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oh my gosh Kate that is *so* rude. There's a huge difference between a small baby and a toddler at a wedding IMHO. I think you said exactly the right thing.
ETA: And I would not even take a small baby if they said no kids without checking first. -------------
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Posted By: becky
Date Posted: 04 February 2009 at 9:49pm
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We have just been to a wedding last weekend and our 4 and half month old was not invited. He is exclusively breastfed and at first I was not going to go as I did not want to leave to feed DS or have him starving if the sitter missed his cues. The wedding was at a Hotel and my parents decided to rent a room as all family was invited, so we had the sitter be in the room with DS so he was close for feeds. It worked out well in the end the sitter took him for walks and for a drive after his feeds and he was very happy ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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