Do you feel judged for bottle feeding?
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Topic: Do you feel judged for bottle feeding?
Posted By: hannibal
Subject: Do you feel judged for bottle feeding?
Date Posted: 06 February 2009 at 6:32pm
| Does anyone else feel judged for bottle feeding? I am the only one in my antenatal group who has bottle fed from the start and I always feel like I am being judged. I wish they would realise that NOT everyone can breastfeed and it wasn't a choice I made for the sake of it!!! I am tempted not to go to get togethers anymore but for bubs sake I do (god help me if they knew I was a disposable nappy mum as well!!). |
Replies:
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 06 February 2009 at 6:45pm
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I have never felt judged and like you I fed right from the start and never even attempted breastfeeding.
Sometimes I think bottle feeding mothers feel judged and looked down upon when its actually only a percieved thing...unless of course someone has outright said something. I wouldn't stop going to things, I would just be quietly confident in my choice and knowing that feeding my baby is working for me. You can guarentee that half the group are having some sort of issue with feeding and by 3 months alot more of them will be bottle feeding so it won't be quite so obviousor that big of an issue. Keep your head up and know that you are doing what is best for you and your baby. Edited to add: Another thing I found was not to promote how my child was fed, that way there was no discussion about it. I always just pulled my bottle out and fed. If anyone questioned it... I just skirted the issue. -------------  
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Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 06 February 2009 at 8:24pm
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I've always been confident in my decision and have never even considered that others would be judging me because of it. Maybe thats not quite right, I just haven't let it effect me. I could probably breast feed really well, my babies would have done well with my milk but it wasn't for me. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
Alex 6 and Harry 8 |
Posted By: Rachael21
Date Posted: 06 February 2009 at 8:58pm
| Like the others said hold your head up high and don't worry what they think. Most of them probably don't even care. Remember if anyway says anything or makes you feel bad its about THEM and their issues it has nothing to do with you. You know you and you know your baby as long as you guys are happy everything will be fine. |
Posted By: nictoddie
Date Posted: 06 February 2009 at 9:07pm
Well that sucks! I tried breastfeeding with no 1 and it did not work for us , I have exclusively bottle fed both my no 2 when she was able to she was a 30 weeker premmie and my no 3 is 6 weeks old and he is bottle fed from birth as well, hugs and if they are gonna judge you then maybe find another group that is more accepting ------------- 
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Posted By: .Mel
Date Posted: 06 February 2009 at 9:22pm
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I breastfed my first two and was gutted when I couldnt' feed Cooper, I wasn't confident in my decision to give up and bottle feed.
I have had many a disagreement with some girls on another forum, we now agree to disagree, we respect each others thoughts on the subject. Now 17mths on I'm very confident in my decision as without formula or cows milk Cooper would have starved. ------------- Mr Mellow (16) Miss Attitude (8) Destructa Kid (3) 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 06 February 2009 at 9:24pm
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I did when I had Andrew, but I think half my problem was I was 22 and suffering PND and not admitting it. I learnt to hold my head high and not worry about it and when I was questioned I just said it is better for the health of both of us. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Posted By: hannibal
Date Posted: 06 February 2009 at 10:02pm
| Thanks guys - I know our decision was right and even with bottle feeding we still have our ups and downs! No one has said anything direct - just digs here and there about formulas, the politics of bottle feeding, babies being fuller and that's why bubs sleeps thru the night ... but I shall hold my head high - it doesn't matter how a bub is fed as long as everyone is HAPPY! |
Posted By: Bubnumber2
Date Posted: 06 February 2009 at 10:11pm
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People are always judgmental, not matter what choices you make. I'm breast-feeding, and just a few days ago I was feeding in a public place (discreetly, you couldn't see a thing, but it was obvious what I was doing all the same)...at the park where I had taken my 3 year old to play. There weren't even any other people, except for a few walkers by...some woman walked by, looked at my baby (what you could see of her) and gave me a dirty look and muttered under her breath, shaking her head.
You breast-feed-people think it's gross. You formula feed-people think it's not good for the baby. Breast feed too long...breast feed not long enough... give them this kind of milk...or that kind of milk... cloth nappies are better and disposables are bad for the environment...cloth nappies give babies nappy rash...vaccinate...don't vaccinate...pro co-sleeping...anti co-sleeping... What to do with babies/children is one of things people never agree on, and their way is ALWAYS right of course. My advice, if they're willing to judge when you're just trying to do your best...they're not worth the effort. Screw em.  ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/"> 
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Posted By: mummy_becks
Date Posted: 06 February 2009 at 10:35pm
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So what I was going to say, anything you do someone else isn't going to agree with. ------------- I was a puree feeder, forward facing, cot sleeping, pram pushing kind of Mum... and my kids survived! |
Bubnumber2 wrote:Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 06 February 2009 at 11:07pm
  
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Posted By: Bobbie
Date Posted: 06 February 2009 at 11:24pm
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Wait until those that are breast feeding are still going at a year old and see what comments come out. It goes from being a 'good thing' (note the quotes) to some sort of weird indulgence. I've had tins of formula 'donated' to me by mums that knew I was 100% Bfing.
Now I do a formula in the day and bfing morning and night and get both 'oh you're formula feeding' and 'oh you're still bfing' - so you see you just can't win. For the record I agree - it sucks that people form such strong opinions without knowing anything about the mother's or the baby's circumstance. Surely if you and your baby are happy it's none of their bloody business. -------------  
 
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Posted By: BuzzyBee
Date Posted: 06 February 2009 at 11:54pm
Yup I'm still breastfeeding my wee chap (23 months old, starting to try and wean now ut oh so hard in summer when he just wants to drink 24/7  ) - People can get rather nasty with snarky comments if it comes up in a conversation 'Oh he's too big for that, he's going to end up a mummies boy' ....'thats a bad habit, i'd hit it on the head now while you still can' etc etc. I've only found Plunket supportive when it comes to breastfeeding, my Dr doesn't seem phased.
It's your baby, so your decision. At the end of the day only you know what is best for you and YOUR baby. No one else should get a say, although half the time they'd like to think they're entitled to it
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Posted By: LeahandJoel
Date Posted: 07 February 2009 at 7:59am
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I go on the "its none of their business what I do " thing If you and your baby are happy then thats the main thing. -------------  
 
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Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 07 February 2009 at 10:22am
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Your job is to feed your baby ,your'e doing that, its nobody elses business how, just so long as you are .
At the end of the day , you are the one who will be there as your baby grows and becomes the person they will be.The only opinion that matters, is your own . Hold your head up high, your doing what a mum is supposed to , I can think of plenty worse you could be doing ------------- 
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Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 07 February 2009 at 1:48pm
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I breastfeed and still feel judged and self conscious. One of my biggest gripes is the big deal made of it by the media.
It doesn't hurt, it isn't uncomfortable, she feeds well but I hate it. I desperately want to swap to the bottle and feel guilty about it. Good on doing whatever works for you! -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: McPloppy
Date Posted: 07 February 2009 at 5:31pm
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When BF did not work for me and my family I switched to the bottle...i felt guilty but no one has made me feel guilty or made me think I was a bad mum...Everyone (including PN) applauded me for recognising things were not working out the way we wanted them to and for making the tough dessision to bottle feed. Such a happier family for doing so :o) ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Redbedrock
Date Posted: 07 February 2009 at 8:20pm
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I think I felt judged, but no one actually was doing the judging. it was another pressure i put on myself at the time IYKWIM
also i knew no one important to me was judging, including my peers, as in AN group, so Ifelt supported in what I was doing ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: MissAngel
Date Posted: 07 February 2009 at 11:01pm
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Oooh I did. It was terrible! i tried feeding Thomas myself, it didnt work and even my husband was very pushy and wanted me to keep BFing. Thomas would have starved to death if id kept going. It really bloody pisses me off.
And i tell you another thing (in a BAD mood this evening hehe) WHY dont they educate people about how to bottle feed correctly!!!!! Goodness me. its all this 'breast is best' , which is true, but those who CANT BF or choose not to should be able to learn how to feed their babies properly with a bottle. When I was in recovery after having Thomas, a nurse at the hospital suggested we give him a bottle as he was obviously hungry and i wasnt able to give him enough had to show me how to feed bubba properly. i had no idea how to mix the stuff, hold the bottle properly, stop half way and burp bla bla bla. Next time i'll try with the BF again, but this time i'll know if it's working sooner or not. ------------- Alex, Thomas and Lily http://lilypie.com" rel="nofollow"> 
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Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 07 February 2009 at 11:09pm
I never had anyone say anything negative to me about bottle feeding, and if some one did or does say something to me, then I will basicly tell them where they can stick their comment
For me, I really had no choice but to chnage to formula, Caden wasnt putting on enough weight he wouldnt latch well, I tried everything! I had raw bleeding sore nipples for the entire time and I was stressed and upset as was Caden. I wasnt going to continue doing something that clearly wasnt doing us any good just because "Breast is best". I will definilty be trying breastfeeding again this time, I did really really want to breastfeed Caden, but it just wasnt going to happen and I did what was best for caden and I. I definitly wont be made to feel guitly for bottle feeding if someone was judging me. ------------- |