Am I wrong to judge?
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24432
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Topic: Am I wrong to judge?
Posted By: Emily281
Subject: Am I wrong to judge?
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 11:46am
So I just followed a woman with a baby in a car capsule through Farmers. It was a teeny little baby so I'm guessing only a couple of months old so naturally I'm walking along going awww cute! Anyway she went to Muffin Break and I continued on to Starbucks. So I get my hot chocolate and I'm walking back down the street and I see her putting the capsule in the car, and I thought wow that was quick. The way she put it in was like when you've got a cup of coffee in one hand (which she did!) and you've got shopping bags in the other so you put the bags on the ground open the door and then just put the bags on the seat. Then i thought maybe she has one of those base things that the car seat just clips into. But then I walked past the car and not only was there no base and she hadn't strapped it in, but she'd put the rear-facing capsule on the front seat  and she just drove off.
Is it wrong of me to think that some people just don't deserve to have babies? ------------- TTC#1: Jan 07 Aug 08: Lap found and excised Stage 3 Endo Nov 08: 2nd lap clear - given OK to TTC after next AF |
Replies:
Posted By: Henna79
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 11:54am
| I would feel the same way! I know the chance of anything happening to her and baby are slim but there is no way she shouldn't be strapping that wee babe in. |
Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 12:00pm
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Grrrrrr!
Ive seen that plenty of times. I once saw a stationwagon full of kids, and toddlers sitting in the boot! AND, I always see van full of kids with the mothers in the back with the baby in their arms rather than in a seat. ------------- Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz. |
Posted By: myfullhouse
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 12:05pm
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I would agree with you that it seems very wrong, hopefully she doesn't have front airbags.
However to play devils advocate, a friend who is a wonderful mother put her toddler in his seat in the back and forgot to strap him in (suffering from baby brain and nappy brain at the time  ), not far up the road she looked in her rear vision mirror and realised, stopped and strapped him in. I think then she had to wait till she calmed down before she drove off. Hopefully this mother you saw realised her error and fixed it pretty quickly.------------- Lindsey 
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 12:17pm
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I feel the same, I mean what's the point of having a car capsule if you're not going to strap it in, but then Linzy does raise a good point. It could simply be that she was having a nappy brain/sleep deprivation caused moment. When Michaela was little we had a capsule with a base so all I had to do was click her capsule in and off we went though most of the time the capsule stayed clipped in the car and I just transferred her too and from as requried. When Michaela was about 4mo I was out shopping with a friend one day and didn't transfer the base into her car so was just using the seatbelt to secure the capsule. Near the end of the day we stopped in at the supermarket and I took Michaela out of the capsule, having to undo the seatbelt to lift her out, then when I put her back in I didn't even think about doing the seatbelt back up again because I simply wasn't used to having to. I just strapped her into the capsule harness and off we went. I felt so awful when I realised and so grateful that we hadn't had to stop suddenly or worse been in an actual accident, I couldn't even bring myself to tell DH because I knew it was such an irresponsible thing for me to do. -------------  
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Posted By: pomikiwi
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 12:20pm
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gggrr so annoying! I couldnt live with myself if I did that and anything happened!
My DH is an electrician and works on the traffic lights alot. He said he's amazed at what he see's in cars! The worst one he saw was a woman driving with her little baby lying across her lap!!!!!!!!!  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
DD-Carys Amelia 17.03.06 |
Posted By: Kellygirl
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 12:33pm
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One day when I was picking up my daughter from kindy I saw a van pull in with the mum driving (coming to pick up her 4 yr old) and her baby (maybe 4-5 mths old) on her lap!!! Not only that but one of the other children (about 2 yrs old) was sitting in the front passenger seat!!!
This particular family has 11, yes 11 children! I was actually talking to one of the other mums when I saw this and stopped mid-sentence because I was so shocked. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Joscia
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 12:39pm
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I saw a couple of women in a 4WD the other day and the passenger had her baby sitting on her lap. She wasn't even wearing a seatbelt - let alone the poor baby. I SO just about *555'd them. ------------- http://alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: jjands
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 12:42pm
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a few weeks ago MIL had been putting our carseats into her car when she put them back in ours I assumed she'd done them up...round the corner we went and over went DD's seat I see some bad sights at kindy & school too, I just wonder if people have brains?? I wish I was one of thse people who could go up to them and say something, poor kids
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Posted By: sweetpea
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 12:49pm
| Its the same as adults driving without seatbelts isn't it. The only difference here is that bub is relying on us completely |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 1:27pm
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I have started to drive off without strapping Caitlyn in for a moment ,one of those things that I kept meaning to do as soon as I got into the car and then just promptly forgot , I realised within about s minute of driving tho, went "oh my god!" pulled over and buckled her in .
It CAN happen, Im a good mum and would never willingly put my child in danger , so perhaps she was having an off moment and hopefully realised straight away , or perhaps she really does have a far to lax attitude. My friend used to put her capsule in the front seat , which I wasn't sure about , but turns out they can go in the front seat as long as you don't have airbags in your car . I know one of the worst parenting things Ive seen , at Westfield Pakuranga , 2 women were there with their 2 kids , about 3 years old, and the kids said they needed to go toilet *sigh* " off you go then , you know where they are " , the children were gone for at least 10 mins , and instead of getting concerned , the mothers were getting annoyed "hurrumph , we have to meet Sarah , they better bloody hurry up " , but did they get up to see if their children were ok ? noooo, they just continued drinking their coffee, in the end I went into the toilet and they were fine playing with the toilet paper , so I took them out to their mothers, I just said "here are your children." "oh...*bored look * thanks " I said "your welcome, lucky im not a paedophile huh ?" and walked off . Sorry for the long ramble ... ------------- 
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Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 1:33pm
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OMG Kelly, that's shocking! I have scared Michaela into staying close by me in the shopping mall (I told her there were monsters and evil fairies cos that was the easiest way to explain paedophiles and kidnappers - I'm surprised the poor child still loves the mall). I even feel nervous leaving her alone in the playpen at pumpkin patch while I browse the store. -------------
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Posted By: Emily281
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 1:34pm
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I get what you are saying, but it seemed way too casual to me the way she did it. And she didn't drive off straight away either. She sat there for a bit drinking her coffee and I thought oh maybe she's waiting for someone or maybe she'll strap it in from the drivers seat but she didn't. That's kinda why I wondered because she looked at the capsule and I kept looking back giving her weird looks. But maybe she was just having a tired mummy moment. ------------- TTC#1: Jan 07 Aug 08: Lap found and excised Stage 3 Endo Nov 08: 2nd lap clear - given OK to TTC after next AF |
Posted By: KiwiL
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 1:38pm
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I can understand people making mistakes, but it's a bit much to think you would *accidentally* put your baby in the front seat AND not strap them in if you were responsible. Seems unlikely. It makes me very sad that people can be so blase about their children.
The worst I saw was at our local mall. There was a mum, about 5 kids and the little one in the stroller (who couldn't have been more than 18 months old) was crying and carrying on pointing at his siblings. The mum then took the can of V that the kids were drinking off them... and proceeded to pour half of it into a baby's bottle and give it to the kid. OMG! |
Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 1:39pm
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I hope that's all it was and that the bubs is safe. When it comes to those that are blatantly nonchalant when it comes to these precious wee lives you're right, they don't deserve children. -------------
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Emily281 wrote:Posted By: Emily281
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 1:51pm
I would have to say that one of the worst I've seen was at Eastgate a couple of weeks ago. A young mother had this teeny baby that rather than putting them in a pram or capsule or anything she was carrying her like you do a toddler on your hip but this baby was so teeny and young she wasn't even old enough to be able to hold her head up so the baby's head kept falling back 
ETA: corrected my shocking spelling TWICE!! ------------- TTC#1: Jan 07 Aug 08: Lap found and excised Stage 3 Endo Nov 08: 2nd lap clear - given OK to TTC after next AF |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 2:25pm
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Im responsible , but like I said , I still did it , just the once tho , and after that I was a complete Nazi about it ,where as I have to say , what you saw Emily, does sound a bit more like she was being blase .
Jo , I know! I couldnt believe it , who knows what kind of people could have been in those toilets ! and incidentally it wasn't long after that little girl was murdered in the toilets in Australia too . -------------
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Posted By: Bubnumber2
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 2:37pm
Argh, I've seen something similar also. We went out for lunch somewhere, and there was a mum giving her two kids Red Bull. At a guess, I would think they were about 3 and 5 years old? The kicker of it, was constantly screeching at them to shut up and sit down and quit pissing her off (exact words). I don't know what she expected, giving young kids that crap. Then again, I'm a meanie. I won't even give kids coke. ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/"> 
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Posted By: pomikiwi
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 2:38pm
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I always laugh to myself in winter when my DD is all rugged up nice and warm, in shoes, jacket and a hat and then I see other little likds with their mums wearing no shoes or even a sweater let alone a jacket! Maybe I wrap her up too much, lol! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
DD-Carys Amelia 17.03.06 |
Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 3:13pm
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Yeah, pomikiwi, you're soooo overprotective, putting Carys in SHOES!
It's not the law here to put kids in carseats, I've seen some shocking sights. But in some ways you can't blame people when they are just "following the rules" (specially here). One of the worst was probably seeing two kids playing in the footwell of the front passenger seat - WHILE their Mum was driving
One of the driving theory questions here is "at what age must a child wear a seat belt?" Possible answers - 2,4, or 6yrs old ------------- SJ Callum - Dec 2008 Daniel - Oct 2010 |
Posted By: Emily281
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 4:16pm
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My nephew used to refuse to eat anything except, nutella on toast/bread, chicken nuggets, chips and Macdonalds so MIL (she was raising him at the time) would cook tea for her and FIL and cook chicken nuggets and chips for nephew
And this is OT but really annoys me! He's back with is mother now and she has him eating normal food including vegetables, but whenever we all have a meal together he tries to get out of it and SIL tries to make him eat some of his veges by dividing them up and saying just eat this much etc but FIL goes you don't have to eat them if you don't want to - don't worry about your mother Makes me mad. I don't care if they don't make him eat his vegetables when he is with them but to undermine SILs authority like that just drives me (and her!) nuts. If they ever do that to me I'll tell them to bugger off!------------- TTC#1: Jan 07 Aug 08: Lap found and excised Stage 3 Endo Nov 08: 2nd lap clear - given OK to TTC after next AF |
Posted By: SpecialK
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 6:14pm
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The car seat thing makes me mad... I work in injury prevention, and one of the things we focus on is road safety, including child restraints. Amazing how many people don't bother with them coz they are just "rules" and they don't see the benefit. I don't stop myself from telling them all the stories I hear from cops about small babies getting injured and killed! Also, it amazes me how many people don't put older kids in booster seats - in a car crash, a short kid is going to sustain even more serious injuries if not in booster... the seat belt will just cut into major artery in neck and internal organs.
Rant over.  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: MissCandice
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 6:50pm
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I think maybe she could have forgotten, i know when Kylah was new i forgot to strap her capsule in once, felt guilty for ages. She could have been having a baby brain moment, even if she did sit there for a few minutes sipping her coffee. I remember when Kylh was new i sat in my car while she was asleep after i had spent an hour driving around with a thermos in my car of coffee as i had been up for hours and i was pooped.
I had a cup and sat there after she went to sleep off with the fairies in my 10min of peice before i had to get her out of the car. I think its a little rude to judge as you just dont know what she was thinking. If it was on purpose, which you will never know if it was, then yeah she should be reprimanded for it. But we will never know.. As for junky food, me and Kylah have a happy meal every 4th Wednesday at the mall.. i hope that doesnt make people think that im an aweful mummy that see me there.. ------------- ~ Mummy to a beautiful girl ~ |
Posted By: ooEvaoo
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 7:02pm
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I think that she probably had a lapse in concentration (maybe why she bought a coffee! lolz). I know that there have been times when Kahtrell has hoped in his set himself, pulled his harness over (and I've thought his dad has put him in) and realised going down the driveway that he was actually buckled. There was actually one time when his seat wasn't belted into the car!....some genius decided to just put the seat in the car, not thinking to buckle it in . As for placing the capsule down on the ground..I dont really see the harm in that. Rather do that then juggle a hot cup of coffee, a capsule and try and open the door at the same time....in saying that I would have put the coffee on the ground. Oh and I've also had Kahtrell's seat in the front passenger...that car didn't have airbags though, so definitely would not do that with our new car. ------------- 
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Posted By: Emily281
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 7:59pm
I have no problem with giving the kids junky food occasionally, but nephew didn't have ANY vegetables for 4 YEARS! ------------- TTC#1: Jan 07 Aug 08: Lap found and excised Stage 3 Endo Nov 08: 2nd lap clear - given OK to TTC after next AF |
Posted By: Emily281
Date Posted: 10 February 2009 at 8:02pm
It wasn't that she put the capsule on the ground - I was just trying to describe how she was doing it. The way she put the capsule in the car was so casual and fast that it was one of those blink and you miss it kind of moments - it really was like putting a bag of shopping on the seat. I didn't even realise it was the front seat until I walked past the car. Like I said, maybe I am wrong to judge. It just made me uncomfortable and sort of like I wanted to go knock on the door and ask her what she was doing, but then I thought that she was maybe waiting for someone and by the time I realised she was driving off it was too late. ------------- TTC#1: Jan 07 Aug 08: Lap found and excised Stage 3 Endo Nov 08: 2nd lap clear - given OK to TTC after next AF |
Posted By: hannibal
Date Posted: 11 February 2009 at 8:23am
| Um no - that is just wrong!! I would have grab her car rego and passed on the information to the police - think you can do this via the police website when will people learn! Sorry my brother was killed in a car accident (he didn't have his seatbelt on) so this is an extra sensitive subject!!! |