have had to make a hard decision
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Topic: have had to make a hard decision
Posted By: Kazzle
Subject: have had to make a hard decision
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 8:56am
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I have decided after 4 wwks to go fully to formula,
I am feeling really bad about this, but after 3 days one 1 feed a day of formula the difference is noticeable, Rhiannon is 10 times more settled after a bottle, she doesnt want or need her dummy after a bottle, she sleeps between 4.5-7 hours after a bottle especially at night. And i have found that even after 12 hours of not feeding her my boobies havent gone hard and lumpy, they are leaking but even after her draining both boobies on the first morning feed, she only sleeps for an hour and then is looking for more. so as of today i am moving to forumla, and i will just have to deal with my feelings about it. I spent all of yesterday in tears and even had to get my hubby to come home....hopefully today is better. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 9:02am
Oh Kat....big 
I can imagine that it is hard for you right now, but you are only doing this in the best interest of your baby. Happy baby = Happy mum!!! Please dont feel like you are doing some thing wrong, you are a great mum and continue to be a great mum!!  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 9:48am
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oh hunny i do no how u feel rember u are doing what is right for your bubs and u r a great mum i remeber putting james on the bottle felt so guilty but it gets better andif bubs is happy then mum happy ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: hollyb
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 9:58am
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Hey, good on you to do what is right. I had a similar situation with my bub. Harvie was 8 weeks when I fully stopped. I tried pumping for a while but that hurt more. He took to a bottle straight away. He was happier and so was I. If or when we have another I will try to bf again and see where that goes. You have to do what is right for you. No bub has ever suffered from being fed formula. Big hugs to you. P.S. I still feel pangs of guilt when I see a mum bf her baby and wish I could have done it longer, but then I look at him and see that he is juuuust fine. ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com"> 
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 10:04am
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thanx guys, i know i am doing the right thing is just so hard, now to tell the midwife, (not i said tell and not ask), and to find out if i can take anythin to dry my milk up. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: hollyb
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 10:09am
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I dried up almost straight away, you may have to pump out a bit for the first few days, but it will absorb into your body in no time I am sure. I hope that the midwife doesn't make you feel guilty. I had great support from mine. She told me that it wasn't for everyone. Good luck. ------------- http://www.babysfirstsite.com">
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Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 10:17am
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Hi Katrina, so don't feel bad about putting Rhiannon on a bottle! It sounds to me that it was out of your hands & even with bottlefeeding you can still cuddle & have special time together. AND if you need a break (which ALL mums need at some point!) then it is easy enough for someone else to help you out....eg Hubby!
As far as helping to dry up, I can suggest cabbage leaves popped into your bra. Don't know what it does exactly but it does help  ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: Bizzy
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 10:51am
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you gave it a shot - now time to move onto something else.
have a chocolate splurge and feel better about it all. just imagine you can drink now, and wear bras that dont undo for the cups, and give bubs to other people for longer cause they can do the feeding too now. ------------- http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker"> 
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 10:58am
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Good on you for choosing to do what works best for your daughter! THAT is what makes you a fantastic mummy!
If it helps Rhiannon, it's worth it! When I stopped breastfeeding Josiah, I found that the best thing that helped me was to express enough off in the shower to take the edge off, but I never had so much that my boobs became rock hard at all. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: Alan & Bubbles Mummy
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 11:21am
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sounds like you have made the right choice for u and ur baby. The feeling bad thing does go away I cried for 2 days after putting Alan on the bottle, but I know it was the best choice at the time. As far a drying up goes I did the same as Becca and that worked well for me too ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
[url=http://lilypie.com]  [/url
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Posted By: mrs frantic
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 11:52am
I think you are very brave to make the decision that is obviously in the best interests of your child and not to let your own feelings get in the way - Dont feel bad It sounds like what you are doing is the right thing for yur baby, which makes it the right thing to do full stop!! ------------- Mrs Frantic Baby Maddisyn born 28 Sept 2006 http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 11:58am
| Good on ya Kaz! I had to do the same thing and felt so guilty. especially if you watch the news and see all that stuff on the tv! But I dealt with it, especially realising how much happier and contented taine was. |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 2:01pm
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kazzle, you tried your best sweets!
unfortunately it's one of those things that sometimes just doesn't work out for everyone for whatever reason. you are doing the best for rhiannon and that's what counts. as long as she is happy and healthy, that's the important thing. as gsmum said..try focusing on the postive side of things..rhiannon is more settled, you can wear nice sexy bras, you can drink, it will be easier to have others look after her while you have a break, she doesn't need her dummy (no offence anyone) and......you can eat a huge amount of chocolate in a sitting and it won't effect rhiannon  (i found that out the hard way  ) ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 3:15pm
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I feel so much better now, my midwife is really supportive and now its onwards and upwards.
So hopefully when she gets weighed on monday she would have put on heaps of weight. Thankyou so much everyone for all your support. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: netballgirl4
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 3:50pm
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oh hunni bug hugs but your doing the rite thing for bubs ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: emeldee
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 3:51pm
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Good onya Kazzle! I went through the same thing last year with Andrew - and I went through a whole mourning cycle for not being able to breastfeed him (after I breastfed Sean perfectly fine I couldn't work out what was wrong with me!). Looking back almost a year on, it was the best decision. Andrew is healthy, a good eater, a great sleeper and a happy wee chappy. There is sooooo much pressure on women to breastfeed these days that when something goes wrong and we can't there is a whole guilt stigma - don't buy into it!!!
Glad to hear that your midwife is being supporting and that Rhiannon is doing well. Oh - and the best thing about the bottle was that Andrew ended up bonding so well with his dad who could share the feeding responsibility (including the late nights) ------------- |
Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 4:20pm
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Sweetheart Good on you for feeding her for as long as you did. You gave her a good start. Big hugs on making this decision. Remember you have lots of support on here. ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 6:14pm
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I used cabbage leaves and it only took a couple of days before any pain went away but I didnt express at all cos I didnt want to produce anymore.
well done for making the decision even though it is hard. At least you feel bad for the right reasons, you would feel even worse if your baby wasnt getting fed. Did you find a suitable formula? |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 11 May 2006 at 10:44pm
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Don't feel guilty about something that is helping Rhiannon grow well, keeping you sane and ultimately doesn't have much of an effect (if at all) - last time I checked, there was no research to suggest that all neuro-surgeons had been exclusively breastfed).
We are here for ya Katrina. Lotsa hugs. |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 12 May 2006 at 9:41am
| when i was in hospital and kobe was in nicu i had an argument with one of the nurses about whether I was going to b/f or f/f and i ended up storming out in tears but one of the doctors and I had a good talk and she said there is nothing wrong with f/f baby and that it doesnt harm them at all. plus my sister and BIL who are a nurse and surgeon formula feed all thier children and he is one of those brainy research types that would have looked into every ingrediant in formula to make sure it was safe. I dont see it as right or wrong, its just an alternative. |
Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 12 May 2006 at 8:09pm
| I formula feed both my children right from day one and had made the decision well before they were born. Everything is so pro breast feeding that I think it just made me decide not to...esp the comments you would get from friends and family. You will never see under 12 months formula advertised...only toddler formula. F/F worked really well for myself and partner. I never had sleep deprivation and my partner was able to take an active part in feeding right from the start (in fact, he gave them there first feed). I carried them for nine months so I thought that it would be a special moment for father and son (plus I was knackered). Took turns with the night feeds....that was great! |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 12 May 2006 at 11:44pm
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at the end of the day (or loonnngg nite lol) as long as they get fed thats what counts
as the other girls have said kaz its not bf that makes u a good mum, its putting ur own wants aside in order to do whats good for bubs. Motherhood is hard enuf without being made to feel guilty about every decision we make..... |
Posted By: Kazzle
Date Posted: 13 May 2006 at 10:24pm
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well its been almost 2.5days that Rhiannon has been on formula full time, and apart from having to express a tiny bit yesterday morning, ive had no problems, infact i think my milk has gone already (which in itself tells me i didnt have it there).
Rhiannon is much more settled and content, she is feeding then sleeping for about 3-4 hours and around 7 hours through the night, and i have to admit that a lot of stress has been taken away and i am much more relaxed and calmer. thankyou to everyone for your words of support and encouragement. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: emeldee
Date Posted: 13 May 2006 at 11:20pm
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Congratulations and well done! I'm telling you, in a month's time you will look back and not know what all the stress was over (and be the envy of your coffee group with the healthy, sleeping well little girl that is totally content) ------------- |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 14 May 2006 at 8:43am
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Thats so awesome to hear Kaz! ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: 3under3
Date Posted: 14 May 2006 at 1:29pm
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Hey Kazzle
I only saw your post yesterday but also wanted to show my support for you. I changed to formula when my youngest were 10 days old and it also was a super tough/guilt ridden decision, but as soon as I started talking to my friends about it, they were soooo supportive of me. They'd wanted to tell me to quit BF before this but weren't allowed, so didn't. Having a happy baby is so worth it! (and a happy stress free mum & dad also) Rosie |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 14 May 2006 at 7:31pm
glad everything is going well on the formula kazzle!  ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Roxy
Date Posted: 17 May 2006 at 1:56pm
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Hiya...I breastfed my son till he was 9mths old with no probs...so expected the same with my little girl....started of ok but by 3mths things were so bad and I was always upset and stressed.she never seemed full or content after a breastfeed.after lotsa agonizing I finally made the guiltridden decision to change to formula....I felt like I was letting her down.theres so much pressure to breastfeed that you feel like a failure to your child if it doesnt work out.(Brooke had also started having crap weightgains)Within a week of being on formula she was like a different baby!!!!!!!!Sooooooooooo much happier.I was way less stressed and could see how much she was getting!!!We were finally realy enjoying each other!!!!!Things are going great still.Only thing is she has never had the reccomended amount each day.Usualy only between 700ml and 800ml total.I used to worry bout that but she is so happy that Ive figured every baby different and ya cant force them to have more.she has had great weightgains etc...hope things are going well for you. ------------- Caleb 15/11/02 Brooke 14/11/05 |