Hints for small age gaps
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Category: Have A Baby?
Forum Name: First baby? Second or more?
Forum Description: Want help? Need support? Want tips? Men and women share advice and tips in this supportive community
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24464
Printed Date: 10 September 2025 at 10:58pm
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Topic: Hints for small age gaps
Posted By: Danash
Subject: Hints for small age gaps
Date Posted: 11 February 2009 at 1:39pm
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We are due any day now with no.2 there will be 13 months between Daniel and the new bub and I was wondering if anyone has some helpful tips...... ie - it was suggested from day 1 for me to bath them together so Daniel gets used to the new bub and I can dry and change bub while Daniel is still bathing... any other tips would be greatly appreciated? |
Replies:
Posted By: LittleBug
Date Posted: 11 February 2009 at 4:38pm
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I'm really interested in this too, as there will also be only 13 months between Chloe and baby #2....
One thing I had suggested to me was to have a little container of pre-packed snacks etc. for the first child and some books or something nearby, so that when you are breastfeeding it's not too hard to have something on hand to entertain them with. ------------- Chloe (4 years) and Oliver (3 years). |
Posted By: Danash
Date Posted: 11 February 2009 at 4:46pm
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Thats a good one! I'll remember that. |
Posted By: busyissy
Date Posted: 11 February 2009 at 6:33pm
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We bathed Dominic and Isobelle together at first for the same reasons as you mentioned but the bath is an important part of Dominic's bedtime routine and the dramatic change was too intrusive, he ended up getting night terrors. Since we have removed Isobelle from his bedtime routine the night terrors have calmed down.
The advice that little bug was given is good, I've done that and its worked really well. Always have a drink were they can reach it too. When you can try and have their naps match up, it gives you a little time to yourself. Ive found its all about planning, get your routine in place as soon as you can. The babies love it and it just makes life so much easier. Congratulations to you both and best wishes for your births 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 11 February 2009 at 7:40pm
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I agree with the routine comment. Also pack away some of his toys in a box so that he can have "new toys" (short memory!) every couple of weeks. Balloons every now and then can be a real lifesaver, as can attending a playcentre (where you can look after baby and he can have supervised playtime..... you can do all the volunteer stuff when the kids are older and you feel ready). -------------  |
Posted By: Shezamumof3
Date Posted: 11 February 2009 at 9:16pm
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Ohh this is a good thread, cos Im gonna be there soon loL! There will be 14 months between my two. ------------- |
Posted By: nicolaann
Date Posted: 12 February 2009 at 8:43am
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I had 2 years between my 2, but still found that Alex was too young to really undestand what was happening. So when I came home with Sophie he didn't understand that she was going to stay, and so we didn't have any problems. But we did make sure that his routine didn't change, and that when friends and family came around to see the new baby they still went to see Alex first. A lot of family brought Alex a little gift too so he didn't feel left out when baby was getting lots of pressies.
Oh, and I always remember my plunket nurse saying don't feel bad for letting the oldest child watch tv!! Its a great babysitter while you are feeding baby. Alex watched a lot of little einsteins while Sophie was little!!! As long as they don't suddenly feel like their mummy is too busy for them, and their basic routine doesn't change I think they are usually fine and adjust very easily. Good luck!! ------------- Nicky, Mum to Alex (5) & Sophie (3) http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: busyissy
Date Posted: 12 February 2009 at 1:20pm
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I definately agree with nicolaann it is so important that the oldest ones day remains as normal as possible. We went back to Mainly music when Isobelle was 10 days old (bit much for me really but had DH there to help) just so life was as normal as possible for Dom. A few weeks later we started playcentre, we are just casual as it is too hard to commit to a day at the moment but Dominic loves it so much.
Its very easy to get run down though, don't forget to look after yourself. Someone said to have lots of pre-packaged snacks for your toddler, that is a great tip of you as well as you will need to eat on the run a lot. |
Posted By: Danash
Date Posted: 12 February 2009 at 4:00pm
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Thanks for the tips so far, Saffron the pre packaged snacks for me :) is such a good idea! Even now I seem to go without quite often. |
Posted By: yummymummy
Date Posted: 12 February 2009 at 10:36pm
Dooooon't doooo it!!!!!  lol - too late
I have a 13 month gap between my two and can honestly say it has been hard work sometimes but it gets much easier later. We found things challenging at the begining as Gina still needed us soo much to feed her/get things for her etc. Routine def helps. You'll be very busy with the new bub ie feeding, waking at night, trying to get a bit of rest. Try and put aside some time to spend with the older child 1 on 1 doing something fun - we used to go to the Park so Gina could run around or to McDonalds for a treat or I'd just play with her on the floor. I found it important to remember that Gina is still a baby, it's easier to think of them as the older sibling once baby arrives but at 13 months they are still babies themselves
Remember to also try and get a break for yourself, enlist as much help as possible and try to go out (by yourself) at lease once a week - I used to just go, get a coffee & read a magazine for 30 min and I'd feel soo much refreshed after. I found cooking a challenge at the beginging as I never seemed to have any time so easy to cook meals were the norm - stir-frys; salads; pizza; pasta; roast meats (those cook themselves  )
And remember to pay some attention to DH too from time to time  ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Gaelic Lass
Date Posted: 12 February 2009 at 11:20pm
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Congratulations Verena.... lots of fantastic advice for you! I can honestly say, I was quite scared about our small age gap and was wondering how it was going to go... but seriously, I don't know what I was worrying about... it is just SO fantastic and I love having my two girls 13 mths apart. They are 7 mths and 20 mths now and have such a strong bond already - my oldest, Georgia, brings little Matilda her water bottle and toys and strokes her on the head and says "Tilly" and gives her kisses. They are already so fond of each other - it is just the most amazing thing to watch - it really does almost move me to tears sometimes. That being said, it is not always easy - two under two is a lot of work, but it is doable! I agree... I go with pre-packaged snacks like rice crackers, raisins and little packets of wine biscuits - whenever I am out with the two of them - especially today when I was doing the grocery shop - which can sometimes be a nightmare - but we get through.
Like others mentioned - you have to make the first born feel like they are not being ignored and are an important part of the family, especially when you are so busy with a newborn and trying to get BF established etc... especially when you are getting next to no sleep!!! I do admit, at times I did sit Georgia down in front of TV to watch Baby Einstein, while I was trying to feed Matilda, because at times, all Georgia wanted to do was climb all over me, and didn't care if I was holding little Matilda or not! My parents and PIL made sure they got Georgia some wee gifts when Matilda was born too... so she didn't feel left out. Honestly, she was too little to understand what was going on and she ignored Matilda for a while, but is now just SO in awe of her. Try and be as organised as you can - especially at meal times and around nap times etc .... I don't get much spare time to myself - so it is really important to get your man to help out where he can! I am quite organised when it comes to the running of my kitchen and plan out all the meals for the week etc - so I don't have the 5pm panic of "WTF am I going to cook tonight?!" Best of luck chick, hope it all goes well! edited england ------------- 
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Posted By: xox6Girls1Boyxox
Date Posted: 14 February 2009 at 9:18am
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Getting a routine under control is a very good Idea.... Try not to disrupt Daniels routine to much and most important is to make sure Daniel is paid attention to....He's still at an age where he still needs you alot & he will feel the shift of attention, so my advise is to keep him involved as much as possible & also to have that special One on One time....
Theres lots of good ideas on here in regards to the pre packed snacks and stuff but a cuddle & Kiss from Mum is no competitor for a packet of chips.... Best of Luck... ------------- http://www.bump-and-beyond.com/"> 
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Posted By: DonnaB
Date Posted: 14 February 2009 at 3:11pm
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Great Thread..!! I thought I was the only one having babies close together..
14 months between my two.. Love the suggestions - keep them coming..! My idea is to stick to routines and have some fun with it too.. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Danash
Date Posted: 15 February 2009 at 10:31pm
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Thanks everyone!! With the due date not that far away I have been really curious of others with the same age gap. My sis and I are 13 months dif in age, but mum just keeps saying you will cope. Which I know I will I just want coping ideas aswell :) and yep ... keep them coming. |
Posted By: Maya
Date Posted: 16 February 2009 at 12:13pm
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There's 13 mths between me and my brother and my mum said the same thing Verena - why is it our mums always seem to cope so well?! Mind you, I did pip her at the post with the gremlins - they're only three minutes apart
We compiled a list of tips from OHbaby! mums on adjusting to life with a newborn and a toddler, you can find it http://www.ohbaby.co.nz/article.aspx?ContentID=514 - here . And when all else fails, take heart in the fact that it WILL get easier. There's 20 mths between lil miss and the gremlins and the first few months really were a blur, I have no idea how we got thru the day, we just did somehow. We ate a lot of toasted sandwiches and easy meals, and if it wasn't for the nanny then I might never have gotten on top of the washing, but these days we have settled into a nice routine, the kids are all six months older which makes a HUGE difference so things are much easier. ------------- Maya Grace (28/02/03)
 (02/01/06)
The Gremlins:Sienna Marie & Mercedes Kailah (14/10/06)
Lil miss:Chiara Louise Chloe (09/07/08)
Her ladyship:Rosalia Sophie Anais (18/06/12)
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Posted By: busyissy
Date Posted: 16 February 2009 at 1:43pm
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My sisters and I always say that Mum believed in spreading the load. There is 4yrs btwn me and my big sis, 7 btwn me and my little sis, and 14yrs btwn me a my little brother. Yip that is 18 years from oldest to youngest! She is now almost 54 and has a 14yr old at home. Recently she just admitted that she wished she had us all closer together because each time she had a baby she had forgotten what it was like to have a little baby. It was just as hard the subsequent times as it was with her first. And none of us wanted to play with the others because of the big age difference we were always at very different developmental stages.
Its hard having two under two but I'm so glad to have my babies close together. Like Kimmies babies mine already adore each other, Dominic is always kissing Isobelle and saying 'my Issy'. He is very protective of her and gets quite antsy when other children come to close, telling them to be soft and gentle. Isobelle gave her first smile to Dominic and just beams everytimes she sees him. Its lovely . And by the time we are 54 hopefully they will have left home!
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Posted By: Danash
Date Posted: 17 February 2009 at 1:25pm
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Oh yay!! thanks Maya I will check out that list! Yip Mums - they are truly inspirational!! and she did the twin thing too so she has to be an expert :) |
Posted By: Danash
Date Posted: 17 February 2009 at 1:27pm
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Saffron and Kimmie, I can't wait to see the interactions. I am happy to be having them nice and close and your little stories mak it sound even better :) |