Custody question
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Category: General Chat
Forum Name: General Chat
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URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=24823
Printed Date: 03 October 2025 at 6:43pm
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Topic: Custody question
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Subject: Custody question
Date Posted: 26 February 2009 at 1:01pm
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How does custody get decided when the parents arent married?
Do they try and work it out themselves? If there is a dispute would the court get involved? And what would the deciding criteria be? |
Replies:
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 26 February 2009 at 1:11pm
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do you mean custody decided before the baby is born ? or after ?
I believe in most cases the child stays with the mother unless they are proven to be mentally or physically unfit and incapable ------------- 
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Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 26 February 2009 at 1:15pm
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Custody afterward.
So its not really an even playing field then in deciding custody? Its weighted towards the maternal side? |
Posted By: Henna79
Date Posted: 26 February 2009 at 1:21pm
yeah it is in most cases in most countries too, weighted towards maternal side. |
AzzaNZ wrote:Posted By: Jay_R
Date Posted: 26 February 2009 at 1:24pm
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Ideally the parents would work it out themselves. Usually one parent (generally the mother) would be the custodial parent, and then access arrangements would be made for the other parent.
The courts would get involved if a suitable agreement was not able to be reached between the parents. Marital status is neither here nor there in the eyes of the law. The mother and father are exactly that whether married or not. |
Posted By: AzzaNZ
Date Posted: 26 February 2009 at 2:32pm
Thanks for the info 
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Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 26 February 2009 at 4:43pm
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It's not called custody and access anymore - it's day to day care and contact. Anyway, there has been a big move in the last year or so to shared care regimes (e.g. week-about) especially when both parents live in similar proximity to the child's school. Ideally you would work it out between yourselves and you can even get that documented in an agreement by a lawyer if you wish, failing either of those options you need to get legal advice and likely proceedings. The first thing that happens following that is a referral to (confidential) counselling but you can get the referral to counselling done through your nearest Court without proceedings, if you wish. It only takes one of you to apply and it's free. A lot of people find that they can agree on arrangements with the help of a third party in that capacity. -------------  |
Posted By: BabyOnBoard
Date Posted: 26 February 2009 at 5:59pm
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It really depends on what each of you want and whether you actively try during the court case.
My ex didn't even contact his lawyer half the time hence I got day to day care and contact is on my terms. It does sway towards the maternal side and they take into consideration who does most of the caring and how much contact the other parent has had since seperating ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
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Posted By: jjands
Date Posted: 26 February 2009 at 6:19pm
| U get joint custody, unless there is a reason one of the parents is unfit. custody doesn't go automatically to the mother. If you can trust the father stay out of court if you think it might get messy court isn't as bad as many say. And they just take into account whats best for the kid/s. |
Posted By: caitlynsmygirl
Date Posted: 26 February 2009 at 10:24pm
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Custody in 2005-2006 went to the mother 64 % of the time , and 11% of the time to the father .
The mother is more likely to be granted custody unless physically or mentally unfit, they will look at the mother first. -------------
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