Maybe it’s the hormones.....
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Forum Name: General Chat
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Topic: Maybe it’s the hormones.....
Posted By: toniellis
Subject: Maybe it’s the hormones.....
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 11:28am
or maybe it's coz I'm not well but I'm just about ready to pack up & leave Spencer 
I've really had it! Yesterday was Mother's Day, ok wasn't expecting anything special but was kind of expecting to have him home for the day since I've been coming down with the flu for the last few days but yesterday I was crook as a dog, hardly able to lift my head off the pillow by midday. And what did my man do? He went motor-x riding & left me to it. And my little man had the sniffles too so it was NOT a pleasant day. AND I find out today that he pinched $30 out of my account without a word to me so he could go riding. Money that I'm saving for when Bubs arrives in the next 2 weeks or so. He had to go to Auckland today to drop off a friend and "since he is up there" he has taken his motorbike & going riding again! And he couldn't understand why I called him selfish this morning! So am I being too harsh or hormonal or what??????? ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Replies:
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 1:01pm
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Oh Toni....Hormones yes!!! but I would feel exactly the same way as you do now. I felt like that on Sat actually. I cant even blame hormones any more. Hubby spend the whole day helping his mate...blah blah..long story.
I do think however that you need to have a long, serious chat with him. Tell him exactly how you feel and tell him exactly what you expect of him. Then if he is still selfish enough then consider leaving him but till then see if he changes once you have a chat. Big  ...hope it does not come to that hun (leaving him I mean)------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 1:21pm
Ug, Toni! I think (not having been there yet myself) that maybe having hormones up the woop doesn't help your ability to cope, but I think that it was extremely bad form for him to leave you to it, sick, heavily preggers, with an ill little one as well. I think you need to have a chat to him in a few days, when you feel a bit stronger yourself, and make sure he understands why you were unhappy. Sort of like ...dealing with a kid!!  A relationship is a partnership and being in a partnership does mean sacrifices, and your (I'm sorry - I have no idea!!) partner/husband has let that slide on this occasion ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: aimeejoy
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 1:47pm
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Oh Toni I sooo understand Bloody cars/motorbikes etc... I used to get so sick of being left at home all the time, so now I'm playing 2 sports this winter so Daniel has to stay home and look after Hannah! I think now he is realising why I was so upset about it...
Hormones prob making it worse but that is not good... You've already talked to him about this before aye? Sounds like he needs another 'chat' with you spelling out why your upset etc and most importantly what you expect of him once the new bub is here. Better to have it out in the open now than be stewing in a few weeks... Hope things get better for you soon  ------------- Aimee Hannah 22/10/05 Greer 11/02/08 |
Posted By: caraMel
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 1:47pm
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hi toni, maybe its my hormones too but i'd be really pissed as well!! i agree with ginger, maybe give yourself a couple of days to recover and gain a little perspective, then talk to him about it. i find that is the easiest way to deal with things while i'm pregnant, since i don't often know whether my hormones are blowing things out of proportion.
in the meantime, take care of yourself and your bump. i hope you're feeling better soon! ------------- Mel, Mummy to E: 6, B: 4 and: 
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Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 2:37pm
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Hi all. Well I made a call to my mum and she is on her way to pick me up. I spoke to Spencer on the phone when I finally got ahold of him and he was abit upset but I pointed out to him that things just aren't working and a few days apart might help.
I'm still upset & I've managed to hurt myself somehow. I've got a really sharp pain coming & going on the left side of my lower abdomen so my mum is taking me in to see the midwife for abit of monitoring. This is definitely not the first time this has happened but this IS the first time I've decided to have a break apart. I don't know if it will be permanent or what will happen but I'm a real emotional wreck at the moment. I spent most of today bawling my eyes out & inbetween times I've been packing which then sets me off again  So if you don't hear from me for a little while its because I haven't made it to a computer.
Thanks Ladies ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 2:43pm
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Oh Toni.....How horrible. I sure hope that your man comes around and gets his priorities sorted.
You are a brave girl tho...cause so many times I said "thats it"...I never actually left. I sure hope however that you have him around when bub is born and can be a family. to you. We will be thinking of you and please let us know when you have your bub.
Take care hun.....good luck!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: daikini
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 2:45pm
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Toni
Good luck, and we're all thinking of you! Update us when you can, chick. Taking care of you, Alex and Baby is the most important thing... hopefully this break will make Spencer realise just what a good thing he's got in you and what a jerk he's being to you. ------------- Becca, mum of 2 girls & 3 boys |
Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 2:51pm
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Thanks Roksana.
Its pretty tough, I've done the threatening before too but I never make it out the door. So its very scary for me. I'm hoping its only a temporary thing though ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 2:54pm
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Thanks Becca
I promise to keep you guys updated when I can ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 3:20pm
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awwwww toni
i agree with becca, hopefully being apart for a while will make spencer realise how he's been treating you and how selfish he has been. sometimes time apart can do absolute wonders for relationships (speaking from experience). i'm glad you've taken your threats to the next level, things obviously weren't working the way they were and you are so strong for following through this time! spencer needed to see that you were seriously unhappy 
take care of yourself and your babies, will be thinking of you over the next couple of weeks. ------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: fattartsrock
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 3:23pm
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Toni, my opinion is it isn't just hormones, he is being a little selfish here.. (well, maybe alot). Some time out with your mum is probably a great idea. I hope things work out for you, chick. All the best for the big day, happy babydust and good labour vibes, and most importanatly TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!! ------------- The Honest Un PC Parent of 2, usually stuck in the naughty corner! :P |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 3:25pm
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I am sure it will be temporary Toni (well I will pray that it is). As you said that he sounded upset on the phone....so may be his drive back home will give him some time to think.....Hang in there!!!
We are here when you need us!!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: ginger
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 4:06pm
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Thinking of you Toni ...wishing that things work out, whichever way is best for you and the kids ------------- Cuinn Lachlan 23.1.09 - 22:00 Antonia Helene 4.8.11 - 09:41 |
Posted By: lizzle
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 4:30pm
| Well Toni. just to add my two cents, it sounds as though he's a boy who deosn't want to grow up (much like mine!). I hope he can reassess what's important! And GOOD FOR YOU for not putting up with sh*t! |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 4:34pm
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I dont have anything to add to what the others have said but just wanted to send you Big hugs Toni. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 6:10pm
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Oh I hope it all works out! I hope he grows up and sorts out these issues and can see its not worth losing a realtionship and two very special little ones
! Men can be such brats sometimes.Ive got one that is causing grief at the moment of the financial kind - well amongst a few other incidentals so I know where you are coming from! Reading all this has made me very sad for you. Big hugs..take care...XX -------------  
 
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 15 May 2006 at 9:14pm
| I think you are very very strong for leaving and not letting him treat you like that. I hope the break helps and its only temporary. Keep us informed when you can. |
Posted By: ErinC
Date Posted: 16 May 2006 at 8:19am
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Toni, I think you are so brave and strong for leaving! I'm sure that once he sees you are serious he will change. A bit of a short sharp shock, and he'll realise how unfair he has acted.
Good luck! ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/"> 
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Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 16 May 2006 at 9:15am
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Hi Ladies. Just a quick update...
I'm staying at my mum's and I had a nice relaxing night last night, with my family whisking Alex off so I could have a big chat with my mum. I'm staying until saturday.... Spencer is still planning on going riding but then we are going to meet up & have a talk & go to dinner with his dad (its his birthday) at Valentines. Then take it from there. I will either be going home with him or staying with my mum if things don't get sorted out. I haven't heard much from Spencer, I think he might be a little upset. I got a text message saying his missed his kiss & cuddle from Alex when he went to bed & he said he missed me but that was about it. ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: AlyAyde
Date Posted: 16 May 2006 at 9:22am
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Oh Toni. Im glad you had a nice relaxing night. Im sure things will get sorted. Spencer is prob just trying to get his head togeather as well as letting you have your space. Hope you guys sort things on saturday. Gives him a few days to think about his thoughtlessness at least. ------------- Jayde 25/12/04 Alyssa 08/04/03 http://Alyayde.bebo.com |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 16 May 2006 at 9:46am
Arrrrggggg he is going to miss much more than this if he does not sort out his crap! 
I am glad you had relaxing night Toni...you really need these relaxing days just before bub is here. You know what they say if you stress your bub stresses with you....so tho it will sound stupit....try and relax for you bub. I am sure Spencer will get his priorities straight soon...Good luck for Sat. If you have your bub before that please let us know! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 16 May 2006 at 1:39pm
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Oh Toni, this all sounds horrible!
Great idea going to your mums though (even if it took Spencer being an ass to do it) Sometimes even the most "together" of us (I'm not quite included in that - need my mama more than most!) need to go and hang out with our parents and lapse back into child mode. So enjoy the time and relax! I really hope Spencer sorts his crap out. He's obviously going through one of those selfish stages but that's no excuse, has to realise that he can't do that again until after both babes go to school!!!!! (Or leave home!) I've decided that when I go home.. and do my tripping around the country.. that I'm going to come and play with you. |
Posted By: jax
Date Posted: 16 May 2006 at 8:29pm
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Hi Toni,
Just a quick note to say I am here for you, don't know if you got my txt? And Jill says that you can, in fact MUST, ring her if anything happens or you need a midwife while you're at your mums. I didn't go into detail, just outlined that things were a bit rough for you at the moment, hope you're not mad - she asks after you at almost every visit LOL for you in any case, I think Spencer really needs to get his act together and support you, or make up his mind about what he wants you know? Anyway, please keep us up to date, and you know you can ring me as well any time you need to - if you want to drop by or something for a cuppa just let me know.------------- Jacquie - Mama to Erin, 13.07.06 - Chief Cat Chaser & Marmite Sammie Eater 
Love many, trust few, harm none. ~Anon~ |
Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 17 May 2006 at 11:41am
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Hi ladies. Thank you so much for all you kind words. I really appreciate them. I spent yesterday afternoon visiting a friend who is also quite often a "motor-x widow" as she calls it.
Had a rough night last night with stupid contractions that don't seem to be doing anything, all irregular, stopping & starting etc... Lots of fun! I spoke to Spencer last night & he admitted he was freaking out a bit that we are having another baby. I had to laugh coz I was like, "what?? you only just realised that I have a real live baby in my ever expanding belly???" It seems to have been a good idea to have the break. He has had to cook his own dinner, wash his own clothes & he has been even doing housework apparently coz he was lonely all by himself & the garage was already spotless 
It would be lovely to meet up with you Nikki! And Jax maybe we can work out a way to meet up since I'm in Auckland....I didn't get your text for some reason?? I'm not sure why that happened. I would love to see Jill, I was seriously considering popping over to see her yesterday because I know she has her clinic days on Tuesdays, but I don't have her cellphone number anymore. I saw my midwife anyway when my mum picked me up & I'm planning on heading home on saturday night with Spencer if all goes well. It would be nice to see Jill though & show off Alex since she hasn't seen him since he was little.... ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 17 May 2006 at 11:49am
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Where in Akl are you Toni? may be we have get together before you have your bub!! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: toniellis
Date Posted: 17 May 2006 at 11:58am
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Hi Roksana I'm staying at my mum's place in Waimauku which is Northwest Auckland ------------- Mum to Alex (11), Blaire (10) & Erika (8) and Damien (6) Successful HWB VBA2Cs! Soon to be surrogate |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 17 May 2006 at 1:05pm
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Damn...you are quite far from us....Damn! If you ever come down let me know....I'd love to catch up! ------------- http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
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