i need advice!!
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Topic: i need advice!!
Posted By: Aquarius
Subject: i need advice!!
Date Posted: 16 March 2009 at 6:26pm
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hi all....
tell me what you would all do in this situation you have been currently seeing a midwive and things are going fine. This is your third baby so youve been through it all before and really just need someone to go through the basic checks..ie..BP, urine etc...and referrals for scans.she does all that, she seems nice and no problems have arisen and you both seem to get along. (you are nearly half way along so havent seen her often, only twice in fact). You then find out someone has put in a complaint about her and her services!!! they say that they dont feel they are being thoughrouly checked and are concerned that she isnt covering basic care. What would you do? im in this situation and dont know what to think. im in two minds now thinking...god what if this is something i should be paying attention to. or what if shes a great midwive who someone just hasnt clicked with?? Advice any one ------------- http://www.magicalkingdoms.com/timers/"> 
mum to mr 16 & mr 10 |
Replies:
Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 16 March 2009 at 6:30pm
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If the complaint had been investigated and fault had been found, then I would consider. However, if you're getting on well, you feel you are getting the same care as you did with #1 and #2, then I'd probably stick with her. Have you heard positive feedback about her? ------------- Mum to two wee boys |
Posted By: Aquarius
Date Posted: 16 March 2009 at 6:51pm
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its not an offical complaint yet i dont think...she was just saying that she is changing her MW and that she doesnt feel she got good care. then others have advised her to lay an offical one! i dont know whether she will or not.
my MW has been doing it for a while now and someone in these forums (cant remember which one!!) put in some positive feedback on her. ------------- http://www.magicalkingdoms.com/timers/">
mum to mr 16 & mr 10 |
Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 16 March 2009 at 6:57pm
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I think sometimes peoples expectations of a MW are way to high! Not saying that is the case here but often I am surprised by what people expect from their MW and what bugs them about their MW.
My MIL is a retired MW and I am shocked by what some people ring her about and the times they ring! So, I would go with my gut instinct. If you are happy with her care and feel that all your basic needs are being meet etc, then I would stick with her. Edited to add - who did you get your MW through and who is encouraging her to make an official complaint etc? My MIL is on the Midwifery council and I am happy to ask her opinion on the situation and/or the MW if you like. Just PM me.  -------------  
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Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 16 March 2009 at 7:04pm
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I would also wonder who was complaining .. eg a first time mum?
As a first time mum (we all remember) you expect ALOT whereas once you have "been there, done that" you tend not to worry as much .. as long as you are getting your bp and everything else checked you are quite happy. So if it was me I would take it with a grain of salt and investigate the complaint a little further. ------------- Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months) I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year  http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 16 March 2009 at 7:10pm
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From someone who HAS laid a complaint against a m/w (and also 2 other women I know laid complaints against her too, and I find out after the fact that she has one of 'those' reputations), I would think about what the complaint is about. Like others have said, some people have high/unrealistic expectations, some don't actually know what a m/w does etc.
If you feel confident in her care, then stick with her. I think your gut feeling goes a long way with these things (I for one never felt comfortable with my m/w). |
Posted By: Aquarius
Date Posted: 16 March 2009 at 7:58pm
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i thought exactly the same as you guys..and asked the complaintant(?) if it was her first baby...get this it was her third!!
i think it was down to a personal thing, like yous mentioned some people have more expectations of what their MW should be about. im pretty low maintenance, you know third baby, no complications i just want the basics checked so we on the right track and im happy. ill go with how i feel and have had more positive feedback since so im a lot more at peace now Thanks guys xx ------------- http://www.magicalkingdoms.com/timers/">
mum to mr 16 & mr 10 |
Posted By: busymum
Date Posted: 16 March 2009 at 8:19pm
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Go with your gut on your own care from her, I suspect mw's get complaints all the time from people who want to be "babied". Keep your eyes open but don't stress yet. Also remember that if you are feeling not cared for as you think you should, talk with her about it. -------------  |
Posted By: pikelets
Date Posted: 16 March 2009 at 9:46pm
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If you have a niggling bit of doubt going on then I reckon you should change for peace of mind.
As a first time Mum I would probably change if it was me, but as you have #3 on the way, you have alot of experience so as long as you trust her than that is all that matters. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
 3 Angels - Dec10 / Mar11 / Dec11
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Posted By: Febgirl
Date Posted: 16 March 2009 at 9:55pm
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If you were happy with your care before you found out before the complaint then I wouldn't change. I had the same midwife as a girl in my coffee group and talking to her afterwards she didn't really rate the midwife, felt she wasn't supportive after the birth etc etc, whereas I felt the complete opposite!
------------- Two little girls under 2! 
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Posted By: flakesitchyfeet
Date Posted: 17 March 2009 at 8:08am
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Did something go wrong that the midwife missed? For example, my midwife was fantastic up until the birth and had me pushing at 7cm. Now I had no idea anything like that would happen, her pre birth care was awesome but no way will I risk going back.
If its just a general unease I would stick with her -------------  http://lilypie.com"> |
Posted By: Aquarius
Date Posted: 17 March 2009 at 8:26am
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apparently, my MW didnt check this ladies urine stick (where she did with mine) and this woman also has problems with diabetes so is under the care of the hospital as well and i dont think the MW had much to do with that side of things...also the MW didnt listen for her the babies heartbeat at 15 wks.. i get the feeling this woman had a recent scan at hospital soknowing all was well probably didnt think it nesacary...the woman didnt ask to hear the heartbeat as im sure if she said 'can we listen' the MW would of...
so its just a build up of little things where she was feeling not looked after. ihavent felt like this with her...so im thinking it must just be a person to person thing.. i support the other woman as if i was feeling abit neglected i would change too...but its all good in our camp. ------------- http://www.magicalkingdoms.com/timers/">
mum to mr 16 & mr 10 |
Posted By: Red
Date Posted: 17 March 2009 at 10:23am
| I agree with Busymum, go with your gut! |
Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 17 March 2009 at 10:56am
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Heya, reading with interest here, as we share same MW...
My first preg didn't go so well and I found the MW I had then completely washed her hands of me when I needed her the most (I needed a referral for d&c and she basically cut me off and repeately told me "no you don't') but yet wouldn't take 5mins to actually make it for me when I was in a distressed state! As I was only a few months along, I wasn't sure if her 10min (if that!) appointments were normal or not and didn't know what was to be expected... this lady had years of experience etc so I just assumed she knew what was what. I found out while searching for a MW this time that she was going through court as there was a an incident, and found through friends of friends they had also seen her and made complaints about her as well. To shorten my wee novel... I was quite particular on who I was choosing as my MW this time round, and I do find my current one to be quite thorough but then again it is my first really so again I am just assuming that what she does is the norm! But I am comparing her to the ogre I had previously... Im happy with my current, I feel she explains everything quite well, gives me pamphlets left right and centre haha ------------- 
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Posted By: M2K
Date Posted: 17 March 2009 at 11:01am
But this kind of thing is what I worry about, a MW can be really great up until the birth!! I have a close friend who felt she had a great MW right up until she gave birth, and she mis-took her sons hand which was up by his face as being the umbilical cord around his neck and almost cut his wee arm off...  -------------
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Flake wrote:Posted By: first
Date Posted: 17 March 2009 at 11:07am
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Remember that you can change your mw at any time during you pregnancy so I would stay with her but if you start feeling like your aren't recieving full care (and you would know as this is not your first) then change. Only problem with that would be avaliability of another mw. I am in Aux and I changed MW at 36 weeks and went on to have a lovely lovely mw so try not to stress about it too much. ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/"> 
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Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 17 March 2009 at 11:15am
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Its always hard to judge as each MW has their own ways of doing things - some weigh you, some don't, some measure fundal height, some don't, some test your urine every appt, some don't so its really hard at times to compare...I imagine it gets even harder if you are onto your 3 or 4th baby and have to change MW's for whatever reason as you are constantly comparing back to your old MW - as may be the case with the lady who is complaining.
You never know how a MW is going to go at the birth and its a complete trust thing. Best to get word of mouth reports on what they are like but then even the best MW can have a bad birth, where things didn't go as they expected. It really is gut instinct. -------------
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Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 17 March 2009 at 11:17am
| The only problem with changing m/w is they're quite often not available. I tried to change mine from 27 weeks onwards but there was noone available unless I went with the hospital m/w's. So better to change sooner rather than later. |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 17 March 2009 at 1:13pm
| With my first midwife she was great during the pregnancy then not so flash during the birth so i decided to change when I had Addison and this midwife was fairly well known and really hard to get into so I was expecting her to be fantastic but while she was nice she was also very business like but that was cool because thats all I needed with it being my second I just wanted the routine checks done etc... which she did. There were a couple of things that I wasnt very happy about during the pregnancy but when it came to the birth she was fantastic and exactly what i needed and wanted so Im glad I stuck it out with her. I guess as long as the other ladies issues were huge and things that could have been dangerous to bubs then I would stick it out. |
Posted By: sally belly
Date Posted: 17 March 2009 at 2:23pm
Umm, mine had me pushing at 4cm  . I don't think I will ever understand how it happened. Needless to say I have a different MW this time.
Peanut is exactly right - it's such a gut instinct thing. If you feel happy & comfortable with her then I'd be inclined to stay put. -------------    
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Posted By: peanut butter
Date Posted: 17 March 2009 at 2:35pm
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Well i did change midwives at 41weeks!! I changed to a hospital one hours before my induction was to start. I had been SO unhappy with my MW to the point that I think it was preventing my labour starting. My OB suggested a change and arranged to meet a MW that she has worked with before. I met her, felt comfy and she was fantastic through my labour. I then had to have another MW for my postnatal care so including the MW I started with (my MW with Tom) and had to change when we shifted I had 4 MWs for 1 pregnancy!
But I heard afterwards that my horrible MW had a couple of complaints against her. Do they have to disclose this? We have one MW in Alex that is going through a hearing for professional misconduct at the mo and I would dearly love to know if it was mine. |
Posted By: Aquarius
Date Posted: 17 March 2009 at 5:25pm
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thanks guys loving the feedback...how do you find out about the history of MWs???
i kinda know the history of mine now, but i've noticed it would benefit a few of us and more i'm sure. i'm gonna stay put for now...confidant in the fact that, hey if i personally feel hard done by i can just change....and so far its all good  ------------- http://www.magicalkingdoms.com/timers/">
mum to mr 16 & mr 10 |
Posted By: LadyLizard
Date Posted: 17 March 2009 at 7:52pm
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I am not a MW but I am a health professional, and if there is a case of serious misconduct against us to the point where it is being investigated by our regulatory body, it has to be published.
Now that publication isn't widely available, but it is a public thing, and a member of the public could access the information pretty easily by calling our registering body. As far as "minor" complaints go, I don't think we do need to disclose those- as long as our governing body is happy with us, (and they assess most complaints) and we are adhering to our code of conduct then they assume all is OK. As a HP- we DO get complaints. They can be very upsetting, and stressful often aren't justified. (Sometimes they are, and we try hard to rectify them when they are). The majority of them are down to either personality differences, or poor communication, rather than actual clinical misconduct. So, one persons complaint may not necessarily mean the MW is a bad one. If the complaint is of a serious nature and has been registered with the MW council, and there is more than one, I would be concerned. But from what you are describing it sounds more like a personality/ communication difference rather than an actual clinical mistake. The other thing we as HPs are told when we get complaints (because they really can hurt!) is that we usually don't get acknowledged for all the GOOD things we do and the majority of people who are happy usually don't bother to tell us. Sorry- long post! I think if YOU are happy with your MW, then go with that instinct. If you had doubts about her before you heard this complaint and that has reinforced those doubts, then consider changing. Good luck, and I hope it goes well for you. ------------- http://www.alterna-tickers.com"> 
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Posted By: Aquarius
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 7:26am
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fantastic advice...thank-you ------------- http://www.magicalkingdoms.com/timers/">
mum to mr 16 & mr 10 |
Posted By: jazzy
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 1:14pm
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Hi Aquarius, I changed MW for my 1st one, I did not click with her so I xfered to a MW at the hospital I worked at & I knew she may not be the one delivering baby but was happy to have the care from someone I knew well.
I think at the end of the day you have to have a MW you are comfortable with & you are receiving the care you need. As this is your 3rd one you will know from history what kind of care you need & if that includes high risk you will be keep a very close eye on. The lady who complained felt like she needed to and probably had a good reason in her eyes to. If the MW is not being investigated for something serious that can affect the care you get then I would stay with her if I was happy about it, but I would make sure I got the tests & results I needed & I would be involved in it all. So good luck & relax
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