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Forum Name: General Chat
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Topic: what does...
Posted By: jjands
Subject: what does...
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 1:57pm
your DH do?? I'm curious as to what other peoples partners and husbands do...does he come home and grab a beer and park up for the night? Does he cook and clean? Does he play with the kids? what goes on ladies?



Replies:
Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 2:02pm
He comes home, has a quick cuddle with Jack then goes off to the computer for an hour, asks when tea is ready then plays with Jack for 1/2 hours and puts Jack to bed. Other than that, I do everything

On weekends I get one sleepin morning but he's so noisy that I'm always awake anyway. And once I'm up I look after Jack, DH does whatever he wants basically. He's never grasped the concept of shared parenting, but he will pull his weight if push comes to shove, he just knows that he can throw his weight around and I'll put up with it cos he keeps us sheltered, fed and otherwise happy

Despite it all, I went back for another He's a lot better than he used to be though, he comes from a screwed up household where his mother thinks the father should be allowed to take off for a week, shack up with random chicks then come back as long as he brings her flowers At least I don't have THAT problem!


Posted By: FreeSpirit
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 2:10pm
Comes home, kisses his daughter before going outside for a smoke. I can rope him into changing maybe 1 nappy a day if I'm lucky. He mows the lawns once every 3 weeks. Goes away most weekends, either for a day trip fishing, or for a day ride on the bike or away for the weekend to see mates who live out of town.. He doesn't like bathing her so does that maybe once a fortnight. does dishes every 3rd day (but does a fantastic job when he does them.) Plays with her sometimes so I can cook his dinner.

Edited for my terrible spelling

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http://www.babysfirstsite.com">


Posted By: MummyFreckle
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 2:17pm

DH gets home, gets changed and then plays with Oli pretty much until its time for his bath. I get him undressed and ready for his bath, whilst DH runs the bath. DH baths him and then I get him dressed, then DH does the bedtime bottle and puts him to bed.
I do all the cooking and cleaning generally, but he does a LOT of stuff with Oli!

I am very lucky, DH gets up to him for his early morning bottle most mornings (normally about 6ish) then DH goes straight to work and goes straight back to bed after his bottle, so I get to wake up at my leisure! Oli normally wakes properly at 8ish. On a weekend we get one sleep in morning each!

 



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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: McPloppy
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 2:24pm
Now that I am working part time also DH helps out alot more but because he is on shift work it is a bit difficult. I am really lucky...DH is great and admitted that he will have to pull finger and help out a lot more and he has.

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http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 2:33pm
Mine is home half a day with Issy .. goes to work in avo (while Grandma watches Issy) .. then gets home in time to bath her, except on a Monday when he has evening classes.

On the days he is at home (Im home on a Wed) .. he does the washing and whatever housework needs doing, looks after Issy and studies as much as she allows him too.

Because im home before him .. I usually do dinner and I also feed Issy, I would bathe her but with my ever expanding bump its a tad uncomfy so he does that when he gets in.

On weekends .. I tend to hang out with her so he can get some study time in.

In saying that before he started studying he basically ran the house including cooking and I just went to work and earnt the money to buy the bacon for him to cook

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Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)

I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog


Posted By: Peanut
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 2:40pm
We both work full time so probably a wee bit different but we share the cooking (and whoever cooks, the other cleans up) and pay a cleaner! I do the washing but DH hangs it out and brings it in, I fold and put it away.

I do everything for DS in the morning e.g breakfast, dressed, room tidy, daycare bag and the daycare drop off. I am rather anal so also make sure the house is tidy before I leave the house.

I pick DS up from daycare but DH does his dinner, bath and bed routine at night, although I do clean up his dinner and get him dressed after his bath.

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Posted By: minik8e
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 2:49pm
For now, while we don't have kids, DH comes home, grabs a beer and plonks himself in front of the TV. If he's hungry, he helps me cook tea. He mows the lawns maybe once every 8-10 weeks (he's SHOCKING). I do everything else, although he will help with the dishes if I ask him to. On the weekends, if we have racing, he starts getting the car ready about 10.30am and I go round about 4pm (I just muddle round home until then, or do things I want to do). He does make me a Milo in bed every morning before work, and I make him a coffee on the weekends.

When these two arrive, things are going to change dramatically. He knows he will have to start pulling finger, I think he's just making the most of it while he can. He's already said he will bring them in for their first feed when he gets up for work (I don't get up till later) if they're awake, and little things like that - and he will be doing the night feeds. And I have put my foot down and said I don't care what else happens, I WILL have a dishwasher by the time these two arrive, I don't care if it's 2nd hand, but I am NOT having dishes sitting round doing nothing or feeling the pressure to do them all the time. It's a non-negotiable and I don't care if he doesn't agree. It's what is happening


Posted By: Lexidore
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 3:01pm
My DP LOVES to clean so whenever hes home hes pretty much cleaning, or chilling with me or practicing his guitar. I do all the cooking and that suits me fine because id much rather do cooking than cleaning. As for the kids part we dont have any yet.... but when they come i know hell be pretty great he has a sister who is 12 years younger than him and his mum was a single mum so he helped her out ALOT so she could work etc, also just had a friend over with her two little ones under two and he was absolutely amazing with them! Yea i have it pretty good

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Posted By: Mum2ET
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 3:10pm
DH comes home, gets changed and then plays with Ella while I have a bit of break and do dinner. He then baths her and then hands her over to me to dress her and get her into bed. I cook dinner most nights (a lot of it I prepare while Ella is sleeping), but he does the washing up. On the 2 days that I work he gets her up in the morning and dresses her, while I have a shower and then I feed her breakfast.

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Mum to
Ella (5) and Tom (2)


Posted By: BugTeeny
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 3:25pm
DH gets home from work between 4 and 5 each day.
He gives her a cuddle and buggers off onto the computer for an hour or so while I feed her dinner and play.
He then gives her a bath, dresses her and plays.
I give her her bottle and put her to bed. DH gets funny about putting her to bed - it's odd.

We share the cooking (for us) during the week, but I prepare all of Hannah's meals (including breakfast every day, including weekends), and do all the housework and laundry. He, however, does his own laundry
So no sleeping in for me, but he misses out on the lovely sleepy smiles and snuggles

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Posted By: Glow
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 3:48pm
Gets home washes his hands, has dinner with us. Plays with boys untill bathtime, baths boys & gets them ready for bed.
He doesnt do much housework or cooking(unless I ask)
Mornings he will get my early riser up, dressed & breakfast & will wake me when his is about to leave for work

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Mummy of Two Boys
B: 2004
K: 2007





Posted By: tishy
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 3:55pm
Originally posted by SimSam SimSam wrote:

DH gets home, gets changed and then plays with Oli pretty much until its time for his bath. I get him undressed and ready for his bath, whilst DH runs the bath. DH baths him and then I get him dressed, then DH does the bedtime bottle and puts him to bed.  



This is pretty much the same here except we bath the girls every second night.
In theory I get 1 sleep in at the weekend but in reality it's normally 1 every second weekend

Also on Monday mornings I go into work early and he looks after them until the Nanny arrives.

As the girls are getting older DH is getting a lot better with them.


Posted By: lilfatty
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 5:01pm
Charly .. I actually prefer SD to do the bedtime routine too .. only because he has been doing since I went back to work, so its kind of "normal" for her to have Daddy do it ..

She likes to "push it" if Mummy puts her down .. as she figures Mummy will get her back up lol

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Mummy to Issy (3) and Elias (18 months)

I did it .. 41 kgs gone! From flab to fab in under a year http://www.femininefitness.co.nz/category/blog - LFs weight blog


Posted By: hannibal
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 5:21pm
Hi, at the moment I'm home (for another week & a half) so I'm doing the cleaning. Dinner is a mixed bag - DH may cook once every couple of weeks, but otherwise I do it or we order in Wok (yummy, yummy). I look after bubs from when she gets up in the morning until when he gets home and then its daddy time - he does 2 feds (hoping to drop the last one soon) bubs is up for a bit so its a play time normally before the shower/bath, and sometimes the bath or shower (otherwise its me) and while he's doing the fed I'm putting on bubs washing and dinner - this is my downtime!!! He always manages to have a beer around too!!! Sure is going to be interesting when I go back to work - yesterday morning I had 50 minutes to get bubs fed, dressed, playtime, bottles washed/sterilised, me showered at out the door to a daycare settling in (before heading to Plunket), hubby gets up dressed, feds cats and walks out the door, last night I said thanks for helping this morning and he was like what?!?! I didn't realise the bottles needed doing - he stood right next to them soaking in the sink while I was doing a fed - god men!!!! hehe.


Posted By: BessieBear
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 5:30pm

He gets up at 6.15 get's ready for work, gets Ryan up and changes his bum, at 6.45 kisses me goodbye that's my que to get up, then leaves at 7am.

He gets home at about 5.20pm says hello explains his whole boring day then gets in the shower. I plonk R in with him then I start dinner. He'll yell when he's done and I get R out and put him in the lounge to crawl around for a bit. Dh put's R's jama's and nappy on and feeds him a bottle, then one of us will put him in bed for the night at about 7pm.

During the day I do all the cleaning, washing, bake, weed the garden, do the shopping and look after R of course.

Dh mows the lawn every second weekend and he vacumns coz our hoover is SHYT! and he does the dishes at night.

  



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Sarah Mum to,
Boy 07/2008, Girl 03/2010, Boy 05/2012, Angel 07/08/2014



Posted By: Lisha
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 6:25pm
Originally posted by Glow Glow wrote:

Gets home washes his hands, has dinner with us. Plays with boys untill bathtime, baths boys & gets them ready for bed.
He doesnt do much housework or cooking(unless I ask)
Mornings he will get my early riser up, dressed & breakfast & will wake me when his is about to leave for work


This is what my DH basically does too! But we have girls. DH starts work at 8.30am. Why is it soo hard for men to help put with the housework?! I have never met anyone so good with the girls, he plays with them more than I do, then again I am always cooking tea etc.

From Shortland St onwards... normally is glued to the TV, kids are in bed by that stage anyway.

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http://lilypie.com"> http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: LadyLizard
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 7:05pm
I guess I am one of the lucky ones. My DH is cooking tea as we speak, and we generally share the cooking pretty evenly. He makes heaps more mess than me, so whoever cooks cleans up too.

He is quite good at being oblivious to housework and washing, but will definitely do things if I ask him, and even though sometimes I have to ask a couple of times, he isn't that bad. Once a week or every ten days we do all the housework together.

He does most of the garden stuff, and I sort out all the bills.

He will def def def be a hands on dad, he is going to stay at home when i go back to work for about a month, so that will be cool (can't see multitasking being a strong point, but hey, I can't have it all!!)





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http://www.alterna-tickers.com">


Posted By: busyissy
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 7:10pm
Its so funny how all the DHs are such creatures of habit. Mine is actually quite good when he is home, at the moment it feels like he is always away.
.
DH supposed to get up at 5.45am and go for a run (supposed to being the operative words!). Gets back 6.15am, makes breakfast for Dom, has shower, gets ready for work and gone by 7.30am. Home from work sometime after 5-5.30pm, kisses and cuddles for Dom and Issy, if she is up. Cares for Issy while I give D his bottle. We bath D and Issy together and then get them dressed seperately. I get a cuddle with D then DH puts him to bed. I give Issy a bottle. We take turns doing dinner. He does the dishes (which means stacking dishwasher).
I do eveything else cleaning, shopping, banking etc.
Most of the time I feel like he could help a wee bit more in the weekends but this month I have mostly been by myself and I feel so happy and grateful that when he is home he is so involved. My heart really goes out to all those mums and dads who are doing it all by themselves, it must be so hard and lonely.
edited for spelling


Posted By: MrsMojo
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 7:24pm

DH works nights and isn't home until 10:30pm so Michaela's long since been fed, bathed and put to bed and I've tidied up the house.  I leave for work at 6:45am and he is sole charge from then until midday (when he leaves for work) during which time he gives her breakfast, morning tea and lunch, dresses her, keeps the house tidy and does the vacuuming and dishes and any washing, keeps her entertained (which always includes story time and he's also big on 'educational' time) and if she's going to kindy in the afternoon he gets her ready for kindy otherwise he gets an activity set up for her nana to do with her in the afternoon so she's not just plonked in front of the tv.

He does all this and then goes to work to manage a team of staff for several hours (and he's good looking too, man did I hit the jackpot or what!)



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Posted By: Freesia
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 7:42pm
DP and I take turns giving Livvy breakfast and both help out. Then he goes to work and when he returns we all have dinner together (his insistence). He always baths Livvy's, I never do it unless he's away. We dress her together (one keeping her amused while the other puts the clothes on), one makes the bottle, the other gives it to her and we both put her to bed. So we share out the duties pretty evenly. He also does most of the playing with her when he's home.

I do all the household stuff generally, but he'll do the dishes or dinner once in a while.

He's a very hands-on dad and it's fabulous!

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Posted By: Brenna
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 7:55pm
My DH is great too. He plays with Brenna from the minute he gets home and we all have dinner together then he baths her and we share getting her dressed/bottle/bed. I do most of the cooking because I'm either at home or on days where I work I'm home first. I do most of teh housework but he helps alot with dishes/general tidying. In the wknd we share everything and also try to share the sleep-ins. I'm very lucky

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My beautiful 2 girls...nearly 4 and 13 months


Posted By: Snappy
Date Posted: 18 March 2009 at 8:29pm
My DH works shift work so what he does really depends on what type of shift he is on. Usually if hes home in the mornings, he will take Janaya to school and I sort Jackson.
In the evenings he does the dishes, and sorts Janayas things out for school and usually does her reading too. On his days off or if he is home during the day he will hang out the washing, vacuum, sort/clean things. He is actually really good around the house, he just cant cook to save himself, and doesnt really do much in terms of feeding/bathing Jackson. Cant complain really.

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Mummy to two beauties... Formerly Kaiz.


Posted By: kiwisj
Date Posted: 19 March 2009 at 12:31am
I'm definitely one of the lucky ones - particularly when I consider the hours DH puts in at work!

On a good night DH will get home just as I'm settling Callum in bed at 7ish, that's his chill out time and some nights he will bring tea home or get something out of the freezer (that he or I have cooked on the weekends). Others he will offer to settle Callum while I have some time out (and get dinner ready LOL). He does C's late feed before he goes to bed and then in the morning he will often get C up and change his nappy and entertain him for a bit till his feed if I am struggling to get out of bed.

On a bad night DH doesn't get home till just in time to feed Callum at 10.30pm But he still does it! On the weekends, we're meant to get a sleep in each but more often than not I leave DH to sleep knowing he's had a crap week at work. He's great at housework though, does the laundry a lot and will do the dishes if I cook. He also insisted on getting a cleaner in twice a week so I can spend more time with C instead of doing chores - I'm not complaining!!!

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SJ
Callum - Dec 2008
Daniel - Oct 2010


Posted By: fire_engine
Date Posted: 19 March 2009 at 9:41am
I'm lucky too. DH gets home about 6.20 - gets changed then is on Daniel duty - bathing/showering, playing, doing the bedtime routine (which he is brilliant at), does the 10pm medication and bottle. On the weekends we tend to split it. He does the mornings then though he's starting to get really tired so we probably need to take one morning each.

I do all the morning stuff. On the mornings I work, I do Daniel's bag, get him up, dressed and fed etc - my DH is not a morning boy. I do most of the housework and pretty much all the cooking (usually while DH is putting Daniel to bed).

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Mum to two wee boys


Posted By: NZCupcake
Date Posted: 19 March 2009 at 10:52am
Both DH and I work full-time. I'm very spoilt!

DH does nearly all our cooking, feeds the animals, gets my lunches ready, and makes my breakfast including a cup of tea waiting for when I get out of the shower. On the weekends we have my 'part-time' kids he lets me sleep in if he thinks I need it and gets them breakfasted etc, he plays games with them, reads them stories, gets their meals sorted. He also does the rubbish, the lawns and the bath plug (something I just cannot do!?!).

So um, that makes me look REALLY lazy...
I do all the housework, washing, gardening, and usually wash the car, and do stuff with my kids too of course!

We try to fit in a walk with our wee Mara-Dougal dog most nights. And we do lots of things together - computer gaming, visiting friends, movies, weekends away etc, going to my kids sports, concerts, school events, etc.

Having two 'full-time' babies will no doubt be crazy times for a bit - but I have no doubt that DH will be a wonderful hands-on Dad, just as he's been a wonderful step-Dad to my two kids

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Cameron 10 ~ Sophie 9 ~ Nov08 Angel

http://lilypie.com">


Posted By: kriss
Date Posted: 19 March 2009 at 11:15am
My DH is up at 6am, makes his lunch and goes off to work, prepping and painting super yachts.
When he comes home we get a quick kiss and he goes straight to the shower, he is usually super dusty or blue from the paint.
He checks his emails and then plays with baby while I make dinner, and after we eat we go for a walk for an hour.
After that he does some washing, dishes, general tidying up or whatever I don't do in the day while I feed Ashy and put her to sleep and then me & DH watch tv or a movie together.
On the weekends he does all the chores, and he has even banned me from some as he can be quite particular when it comes to them lol

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http://lilypie.com">
http://lilypie.com">
Little Angel, April 10


Posted By: Daizy
Date Posted: 19 March 2009 at 2:55pm

At the moment not a lot!

He usually comes home from work at about 7 (and hour and a half late) by then we have given up waiting so i feed the girls and get them to bed. He is usually only home for an hour and is out again so doesnt have time to help with dishes or anything. The mornings hes out of the house at 6 although sometimes returns and starts the girls on breakfast so I can have a shower. And occasionally does the dishes.

He does however do the Kindy thing and drops Keira down everyday.

He has Sundays and Mondays off and neither of us do much housework. He is there to lighten the load a little and keep the girls busy. I have been trying to convince him to take the girls out one afternoon and give me a break but he doesnt seem too keen.

 

On a good day he usually gets up when the girls wake - gives them breakfast. Comes home at lunch and makes it for the girls then gets Keira to Kindy. He comes home at dinner time and keeps the girls busy while I finish cooking and then we both take a girl and get them into bed. He then cleans up after dinner and occasionally helps out with housework.



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Posted By: sweetpea
Date Posted: 19 March 2009 at 3:23pm
Dh comes home gives me a kiss hello. Usually asks what my day was like so we have a chat about the day followed by wahts for tea he cooks about twice a week i do the rest although he often pitches in if i ask him too. He does the lawns and some of the gardens we share that bit. He does the dishes at night i hate doing them yes we have a dishwasher but there is still the odd few things like pans to do. I mostly do the housework but occasionally he does it not very often though. He never seems to do it right.


Posted By: jjands
Date Posted: 19 March 2009 at 3:41pm
ok well guess it's my turn ... DH & I get up I get in the shower he puts breakfast infront of the kids and makes us tea and toast and gets in the shower. Then he's off and returns between 5.30 and 6 we eat tea together then he turns on the TV while I get the kids showered and ready for bed etc he says goodnight and we watch TV. Weekends he usually stays home with us but does his own thing. Bout once a month he mows the lawns. Sometimes he'll help cook dinner on the weekend everything else is up to me.


Posted By: emz
Date Posted: 19 March 2009 at 7:00pm
Isn't it interesting to see what's happening in each family when we all have kids different ages etc. Like I was reading some with slightly younger kids than Jack thinking 'oh yeah we used to be able to do that' .

My DH did a heck of a lot more when we were both working. He's definitely got it easy at the moment - bring on 2 kids and me back to work as of next year and he's going to be shocked!



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