Invading own personal space
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Category: Pregnant
Forum Name: Pregnancy
Forum Description: Pregnant! Wanting to chat to other mums-to-be (or dads-to-be)? Share your thoughts, experiences, and ideas... This is that place!
URL: https://www.ohbaby.co.nz/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=2575
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Topic: Invading own personal space
Posted By: kellverona
Subject: Invading own personal space
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 12:25pm
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Hi, I have heard when you are in labour that the midwife just grabs your boob and puts baby on them without asking, etc. I dont like the idea of that. Im a personal person. I know I prob wont care at the time but the thought is ------------- http://pregnancyplanet.net/tickers/"> 
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Replies:
Posted By: pepsi
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 12:45pm
| Really do they do that? I know they want mothers to try and breastfeed asap after birth but does that mean you have to do it when they have just slithered out or what? I would have thought they'd let you clean up and have the baby cleaned first but from what people have told me this is not the case.. |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 12:49pm
| I know my midwife didnt do that although maybe because Kobe was taken to nicu but I wouldnt be having it. I found most people really good with not touching me or anything unless they asked first. |
Posted By: Dashone
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 1:11pm
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My midwife done that to me. At the time it didn't really matter. I was just happy to have my baby. -------------  
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Posted By: MILF
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 1:28pm
| if it happens, it will only be her helping baby to latch on, i dont think it will be every time or every person either. i had a nurse help me with breastfeeding that way - and they are professionals, so it isnt gross or anything. |
Posted By: emeldee
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 1:37pm
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Mine didn't do it to me, either time - however believe me, after giving birth vaginally, you aren't going to be THAT concerned about personal space. Also, breastfeeding can be tricky to get a handle on, so if you are finding it challenging, ask for all the help you can get at the hospital while you are there - it will make things a bit easier at 3am on your first night home!
Oh - and talk to your midwife about what will happen afterwards and what you would like her to do etc. ------------- |
Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 1:44pm
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i agree, have a talk to your midwife but I undestand if they do it, it's just to help with latching on.
and yeah, after delivery I suspect personal space goes out the window along with modesty! *lol*  ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: shelleybean
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 2:00pm
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mmmm not to keen on that idea...... ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 2:07pm
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Yes after all that goes on in a birth....Personal Space and dignity are the last things on your mind!!!
You have a new little BABY!!! YAY -------------  
 
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Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 2:09pm
| to be honest and sorry if this is the wrong thing to say but I was especailly sensitive to being touched and everything after giving birth, I felt like I had been poked and proded enough and just didnt want anyone touching me. I went straight back to being a prude even when they were cleaning me up afterwards I hated it. Sorry maybe its just me but once he was out I wanted my dignity again. |
Posted By: nikkitheknitter
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 2:13pm
| I think it depends on the midwife and what you put in your birth plan. |
Posted By: Roksana
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 2:22pm
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Really? It did not happen to me. I had a c section and after which I was taken to the recovery room and my midwife brought Zaara and asked me if it was ok to give her the boob. I said yes and she took my boob and gave it to Zaara. I could not move my arms (epi) so I couldnt do it myself.....
Put it on your birth plan that you do not wish any one to touch your boobs, specially if you give birth virginally (sp??). ------------- http://lilypie.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: jack_&_charli
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 3:02pm
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i also had a c-section with jack and while in recovery my midwife told me it was time to get him to feed. she asked me if it was ok for her to get him to latch on and as i was so out of it i didn't care. through the night feeds too the nurses at the hospital did the latching thing for me as i couldn't sit upright and didn't have the confidence to do it either.
see how you feel at the time, you don't really know how you are going to react until it's happening 
------------- http://www.alternatickers.com"> 
http://lilypie.com"> 
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Posted By: Alan & Bubbles Mummy
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 4:40pm
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My midwife helped I am a real prude and usually never like anyone touching me, but I guess as eveyone said at that piont I did not really care. I discovered you leave everything like that at the door when you go in and pick it up on the way out. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
[url=http://lilypie.com]  [/url
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Posted By: ErinC
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 4:51pm
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At anti-natal they said the midwife will give the baby straight to you (assuming everything is OK) and then the baby will start to suckle. I think i would like help getting him to latch on, but I have been wondering about the skin on skin thing - cause right now Im not particularly keen to give birth with no top or bottom on - so I guess I will just take off my top straight after? Is this what other people did? ------------- http://www.TickerFactory.com/"> 
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Posted By: Paws
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 6:08pm
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Yeah I'd rather be wearing an old t-shirt at least...I'm pretty sure there are no problems with that. ------------- http://lilypie.com">
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Posted By: Kelpa
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 7:27pm
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I had one of those lovely gowns on with nothing on underneath....but this time I think I will take my own trackies and big T-shirt of Marks...For some reason that makes me feel better!!! -------------
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Posted By: james
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 7:30pm
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i also had a c-section and james had to wait a hour for his frist feed and they did ask me just think of it this way that bub needs to feed and your if and only if u want to can lrean to b/f with as much help u may need ------------- <a href="http://lilypie.com"><img src="http://b4.lilypie.com/nLJ5p13.png" alt="Lilypie 4th Birthday Ticker" border="0" /></a> |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 7:35pm
| I wore a big tshirt of hubbys that came down past my bum. I didnt want to be in hospital clothes at all and wasnt thankfully, I hate those gowns |
Posted By: linda
Date Posted: 23 May 2006 at 8:03pm
| Definitely talk to your midwife. I formula feed so that wasn't a problem but I also didn't want the baby to be put on me straight after giving birth....I wanted him cleaned off a bit so discussed that with my doctor and it was not a problem. I felt a bit guilty thinking maybe I wasn't being very maternal but at the end of the day it was what I was more comfortable with. I was big on dignity all the way through (as much as you can) |
Posted By: 98765
Date Posted: 27 May 2006 at 8:21pm
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I wasnt keen on being naked either but sumwhere along the way my clothes just came off and i didn't even think about it. I didn't feed Jack til at least an hour after and that happened when i was ready. I held him straight away and then my partner Ben had skin to skin contact with him. ------------- http://lilypie.com">  
www.jackkeith.blogspot.com |
Posted By: k&jsmum
Date Posted: 27 May 2006 at 11:27pm
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I had my pjs on when i had the boys so if there was anychance of b/f i would have just undone a few buttons.
As for the being sensitive with ppl touching your boobs - well I was. absolutley hated all the handleing of my bits and Im sorry but i totally did not want to lose any dignity and totally cared about losing it. With the b/f feeding thing best to explain how you feel so the midwife can be intune with you. i realised i couldnt really do much about it but its ok not to be ok about it (if that makes sense!!). As for giving birth - well I wasnt worried about the docs being where they should be but my big thing was anyone that came with me when I had the boys wasnt allowed below my belly button. And I can tell you even in the middle of contractions i made sure on one looked!!  My friend even commented on how I made sure she didnt peek lol
And i have to tell you that now Im even worst when it comes to smears etc then b4 I had the boys. Before i handled them ok - now i keep putting them off. Bad I know So much for not caring about all that once you have kids huh. ------------- Marlene Keegan ~ 14 October 2003 Jaidyn ~ 14 October 2003 |
Posted By: my2angels
Date Posted: 28 May 2006 at 7:56am
| Im the same Marlene. although I did let mum and hubby look during labour but that was only because the doctors kept telling them to look at the baby and I was on drugs so thought it was really funny at the time cos ventouse is not pretty and they both looked a bit green. I didnt want hubby to see me like that, figured he would never look at me the same way again! |
Posted By: Tastic
Date Posted: 28 May 2006 at 6:01pm
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My midwife didnt do that to me.. she showed me how to hold Baileys head etc and told me to put my nipple onto his lips and when he opens his mouth put it in to the top of his mouth, because I wasnt putting it in properly she asked me if it was alright if she helped me, I said yes , but that was the only time she touched me and it was with my permission first!
Trish |